OT- Are You A Suh-thu-nuh?

[Guest guest]

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a

conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,

peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of

"yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... As in:

"Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for

the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl

in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use

the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace

for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and

also a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a

real crisis, they know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"

and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can

be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a

redneck, and a good ol' boy.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing

turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an

adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines; and when we're

in line, we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're

related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, ... All y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are

perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and

that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know

you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea

indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea

unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old

ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"

.... And go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:

Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the

morning and bless your little heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all

this Southern stuff, bless your hearts; I hear they are fixin' to have

classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a

long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that

reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern women know everybody's first name:

Honey

Darlin'

Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Driving Miss Daisy

Steel Magnolias

Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:

ton (Chawl'stn)

Savannah (S'vanah)

Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)

New Orleans (N'awlins)

Atlanta (Addlanna)

Southern girls know men come and go, but friends are fahevah !

Now Shugah, just pass this on to some girlfriends who were raised in

the South ... Or wish they had been!!!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it ...

We know you got here as fast as you could!!!

-- Ila in Maine mailto:sewcraftyila@...

Owner:JEFLOVERS/

MOD:sewmurkot/

http://www.ChippewaCabinDesigns.com

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism

of one, go ahead, get married."

Katharine Hepburn