Husband says he forgives his wife for shooting children and then herself

[Guest guest]

9NEWS reporter Vanderveen talks with Don Rifkin about his loss

and how he is coping. 10 p.m. May 5, 2005.

http://www.9news.com/acm_news.aspx?OSGNAME=KUSA & IKOBJECTID=b03d0c0c-

0abe-421a-018d-b56f56619a7c & TEMPLATEID=0c76dce6-ac1f-02d8-0047-

c589c01ca7bf

COLORADO SPRINGS - The school work is still on the floor. The

jackets are still in the closets. And the pictures are still on

virtually every wall of the house. But tonight, Don Rifkin is alone

in his own house. And he knows his own life will never be the same

again.

Colorado Springs woman kills two sons before taking her own life

In his own words, Don Rifkin describes the devastating discovery

that his wife shot herself and their two children, and he reflects

on the mental illness that led to this tragedy. May 5, 2005.

" Today I used the word widower for the first time, " he says.

Two weeks ago this Saturday his wife bought a gun at a Colorado

Springs pawn shop, waited for their 12 and 13 year old sons to fall

asleep, and then shot each one in the head. Rifkin then shot

herself.

" On one hand I beat myself up thinking what if. On the other hand I

beat myself up saying you can't keep saying what if, " he says. It's

that mental back and forth which occupies most of his time these

days.

Yet he says he has already forgiven his wife.

" I didn't want to be mad at my wife. I wanted to continue loving her

and I still do.. My sincerest belief is that I will be reunited with

them. "

Don Rifkin was in South Carolina when he got the call. The actual

call is a blur now. He remembers a male voice. He remembers crying.

He remembers thinking he was crying so loud he couldn't hear what

the male voice was still trying to tell him. And he remembers

thinking he had to get back home.

One of his sons was still alive, barely.

" At one point they said your son is not expected to live the night.

You need to get here. "

He was in South Carolina because it was the only place he could find

work. He had worked for MCI in Colorado Springs for over a decade

but was laid off a few years ago. Unable to find work in Colorado,

he got desperate. Now he was desperate to get back home.

He called a chaplain while he waited for a plane. He asked the

stranger to put the cell phone next to 's ear. " And I was able

to say good-bye and I told him how much I loved him, how proud I was

of him and what a good individual he was.. A lot of that was for

me. " His son would lose all brain function an hour before he

got into Colorado Springs.

's organs were donated right away. " (His) organs saved lives

and helped give sight to two people and helped other patients. "

Don still is not sure why his wife did this. He knows she was

depressed. She started the bouts with depression shortly after her

first son was born. But she loved her sons, loved them with all of

her heart, and no one thought she was capable of this. " I can't tell

you when it crossed that threshold, I don't know. "

As for the subject of depression, Don says he has found comfort in

strangers and friends alike. " I've had neighbors come up to me

saying they're fighting, for instance, depression. They're medicated

now. " People talk to him at church. People call him on the phone. He

says he hopes his story prompts other people to ask questions, to

talk to people they feel may be suffering as well.

" I'm amazed that this many people, people I thought were unsinkable,

are sometimes the ones going through something. "

Tonight, he will look at all of the pictures on the walls, at the

school work on the floor, and the clothes in the closets and feel

some comfort in that.

[Guest guest]

Is the husband saying that she was not on anything for her

depression? Because that's the impression I get from this

statement. On the other hand, he stated that she had starting

suffering from depression after the birth of their first child which

makes me think she has been on meds at some time. I wonder if it

was on-again-off-again which we all know can be a lethal, but not

unusual, path of " treatment " . Poor lost man. I pray for him to

find the strength to survive this tragedy...

Terry

>http://www.9news.com/acm_news.aspx?OSGNAME=KUSA & IKOBJECTID=b03d0c0c-

> 0abe-421a-018d-b56f56619a7c & TEMPLATEID=0c76dce6-ac1f-02d8-0047-

> c589c01ca7bf

> COLORADO SPRINGS - " As for the subject of depression, Don says he

has found comfort in strangers and friends alike. " I've had

neighbors come up to me saying they're fighting, for instance,

depression. They're medicated now. " People talk to him at church.

People call him on the phone. He says he hopes his story prompts

other people to ask questions, to talk to people they feel may be

suffering as well. "

[Guest guest]

Is the husband saying that she was not on anything for her

depression? Because that's the impression I get from this

statement. On the other hand, he stated that she had starting

suffering from depression after the birth of their first child which

makes me think she has been on meds at some time. I wonder if it

was on-again-off-again which we all know can be a lethal, but not

unusual, path of " treatment " . Poor lost man. I pray for him to

find the strength to survive this tragedy...

Terry

>http://www.9news.com/acm_news.aspx?OSGNAME=KUSA & IKOBJECTID=b03d0c0c-

> 0abe-421a-018d-b56f56619a7c & TEMPLATEID=0c76dce6-ac1f-02d8-0047-

> c589c01ca7bf

> COLORADO SPRINGS - " As for the subject of depression, Don says he

has found comfort in strangers and friends alike. " I've had

neighbors come up to me saying they're fighting, for instance,

depression. They're medicated now. " People talk to him at church.

People call him on the phone. He says he hopes his story prompts

other people to ask questions, to talk to people they feel may be

suffering as well. "

[Guest guest]

Is the husband saying that she was not on anything for her

depression? Because that's the impression I get from this

statement. On the other hand, he stated that she had starting

suffering from depression after the birth of their first child which

makes me think she has been on meds at some time. I wonder if it

was on-again-off-again which we all know can be a lethal, but not

unusual, path of " treatment " . Poor lost man. I pray for him to

find the strength to survive this tragedy...

Terry

>http://www.9news.com/acm_news.aspx?OSGNAME=KUSA & IKOBJECTID=b03d0c0c-

> 0abe-421a-018d-b56f56619a7c & TEMPLATEID=0c76dce6-ac1f-02d8-0047-

> c589c01ca7bf

> COLORADO SPRINGS - " As for the subject of depression, Don says he

has found comfort in strangers and friends alike. " I've had

neighbors come up to me saying they're fighting, for instance,

depression. They're medicated now. " People talk to him at church.

People call him on the phone. He says he hopes his story prompts

other people to ask questions, to talk to people they feel may be

suffering as well. "

[Guest guest]

Is the husband saying that she was not on anything for her

depression? Because that's the impression I get from this

statement. On the other hand, he stated that she had starting

suffering from depression after the birth of their first child which

makes me think she has been on meds at some time. I wonder if it

was on-again-off-again which we all know can be a lethal, but not

unusual, path of " treatment " . Poor lost man. I pray for him to

find the strength to survive this tragedy...

Terry

>http://www.9news.com/acm_news.aspx?OSGNAME=KUSA & IKOBJECTID=b03d0c0c-

> 0abe-421a-018d-b56f56619a7c & TEMPLATEID=0c76dce6-ac1f-02d8-0047-

> c589c01ca7bf

> COLORADO SPRINGS - " As for the subject of depression, Don says he

has found comfort in strangers and friends alike. " I've had

neighbors come up to me saying they're fighting, for instance,

depression. They're medicated now. " People talk to him at church.

People call him on the phone. He says he hopes his story prompts

other people to ask questions, to talk to people they feel may be

suffering as well. "