A positive thought ( almost )

[Guest guest]

If anyone ever feels too down please remember this that

happened to me about 3 months before my liver transplant. I had an

appointment in a town about 60 miles away, got up feeling bad and

stressed on top of it. The doctor had removed my driving privelige

about 1 year earlier so my sister came to pick me up and she was

feeling bad too, and also tired of taking so much time off of work to

take me to the doc, in short I was borderline suicidal. The only news

from the doctor was that I had progressed further into the disease

and my funding still was off line ( guess what that did to my

suicidal thinking ) My sister being a Judge had court that day so

after my appointment I was sitting in a kind of waiting room there at

the outpatient entrance and next to me was a pretty young lady with a

kind of ashen look to her and the wait got long enough that we

started talking. She asked me what I was there for so I explained all

about it feeling kind of sorry for me WAAAAAA! I then asked her what

she was there for and she told me she was 26 years old and was born

with cystic fibrosis explaining that it was caused by a gene anomaly

and they really werent too sure just what caused it. She further told

me about how she had, had to move in with her parents to be able to

feed her 6 yr. old daughter, but that they had been so good to her as

every day her mother had to have her lay down and would strike her

all over the areas where her lungs were located to keep enough lung

space clear that she could breath, adding that on bad days it had to

be done two times. She also said that she had never smoked anything

in her life as it would cause her an infection in her lungs and make

her very sick. I explained that she could try to get help from

medicaid and she said that they had just turned her down, it seemed

that she started trying to turn the conversation back to my liver

problems but sensing there was more I pressed on, perhaps it was a

bit morbid of me or perhaps I sensed that she need to talk more. But

I soon discovered that in her doctors apointment her doctor had just

lowered her life expectancy from 9 months to 3, she was so courages

it was unreal. She started talking of her love for her daughter and

how she was just going to go home and spend as much time with her as

she could until the end came ( Im like, fighting the tears back )

Then her Mom pulled up in her car and she smiled at me and said she

would be praying for me got up and walked out the door.......I still

catch myself saying a little prayer for her sometimes, but I really

never even consider suicide anymore. Sometimes it seems I can feel

her around me when I only met her one time isn't that strange???

Blissed Be...Mike