Guest guest Posted June 19, 2004 Report Share Posted June 19, 2004 I had a friend who committed suicide when he was 30. He seemed to have blessed with a lot of things as far as looks, personality, popularity ,health, etc. His death was like a shot out of the blue. It devastated so many people. Deeply. I don't think he knew how much he was loved and how much he would hurt us. Sometimes, we have situations in life that make us down...but it seems ....with time ...the sun rises again. The tx for hep C tends to make some people gravitate in that direction. Not saying that to alarm anyone who is considering the treatment...but if you feel that the treatment is making you think morbid thoughts, feel at ease to call the nurse at the pharmaceutical program or any other help capable source...they are more than willing to listen and help. Mick D <hikrrr@...> wrote: Yes Marilyn that is something that people who feel suicidal really need to think of is all the people who desperately wanted to live but who were not allowed to, it is like kicking them in the teeth, but then suicide is the ultimate selfishness anyway. Im stickin just hoping to see what God is gonna do to the conservatives when she comes back, or maybe to see what kind of thing they will try to tell her about all of her beings they have murdered.........especially if my Indian brothers and sisters are right and even the trees, rocks, water, air ect. is all made up of living things. PEACE.......OUT...Mike __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2004 Report Share Posted June 19, 2004 Amen, Sonny! I worked in a police department for several years, and got to see the aftermath of suicide and what it does to the people left behind more times than I ever expected to. There is nothing in life that ever justifies it, and in today's day and age, there are so many resources out there to help anyone feeling that desperate. There's a number to call, 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) if anyone feels so hopeless. The website is http://www.suicidehotlines.com . I consider every day that I have life to be such a blessing. For about the first 1/2 of my life, I wished I wouldn't wake up each morning, it was that awful. But life can turn on a dime and mine did. Even though I have this virus that could take my life, I have muddled through and created such a beautiful family and have such great friends that if my life ended tomorrow, I would have no regrets. It's so strange, finding out that I have Hep C makes me savor every day I have. I know that the treatment for Hep C can cause serious depression, that's a big reason why I haven't taken it. I'm lucky that I don't have damage so far, so I can be cavalier about it. But if and when I do, I will always think of Pete (aka Da Yooper) and how hard he tried to save his life, and how everyone failed him. I could never give up, knowing how hard Pete tried, and how mad he got at all of us for being wimps! You are so right, Mike! Giving up is the act of kicking others, like Pete, in the teeth. You are absolutely right in saying it is the ultimate act of selfishness. Sheesh, I remember one woman, who couldn't go on after her " Daddy " died - she went out and bought the outfit she wanted to be buried in, and in her suicide note, left detailed instructions about her funeral, down to the yellow roses she wanted on either side of her casket at the wake. LOL - her family had her cremated and didn't even have a memorial service - guess they were already tired of her histrionics! I'm sorry, not to trivialize depression and what it can do to a person, but in my mind, suicide is just as absurd as the little psychodrama this woman had going on in her head. Life is wonderful, no matter what it tosses our way, and you have certainly had more than most of us to deal with. You are a beacon to me, and yes, I, too, hope to see what happens to the conservatives in the end. 'Cuz you know they have as much Hep C going on with them as the rest of us! Marilyn Re: Marilyn's reply I had a friend who committed suicide when he was 30. He seemed to have blessed with a lot of things as far as looks, personality, popularity ,health, etc. His death was like a shot out of the blue. It devastated so many people. Deeply. I don't think he knew how much he was loved and how much he would hurt us. Sometimes, we have situations in life that make us down...but it seems .....with time ...the sun rises again. The tx for hep C tends to make some people gravitate in that direction. Not saying that to alarm anyone who is considering the treatment...but if you feel that the treatment is making you think morbid thoughts, feel at ease to call the nurse at the pharmaceutical program or any other help capable source...they are more than willing to listen and help. Mick D <hikrrr@...> wrote: Yes Marilyn that is something that people who feel suicidal really need to think of is all the people who desperately wanted to live but who were not allowed to, it is like kicking them in the teeth, but then suicide is the ultimate selfishness anyway. Im stickin just hoping to see what God is gonna do to the conservatives when she comes back, or maybe to see what kind of thing they will try to tell her about all of her beings they have murdered.........especially if my Indian brothers and sisters are right and even the trees, rocks, water, air ect. is all made up of living things. PEACE.......OUT...Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2004 Report Share Posted June 19, 2004 i was wondering what would happen if i refuse treatment and just live and take care od myself is this possible i want to help people and i am taking administration of justice classes ,nut i am off for the summer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Yes Mairlyn it was very bad and stressful when Pete passed to the other side of the viel, I had been hospitalised 2 times for what spelled his demise and it was scary. I love your insight about the woman who pulled that theatrical stunt that I'm sure hurt someone somewhere, but heres a note to all suicide potentials DO NOT! Kill your self or we will all laugh at your stupid assed stunt, it may revolutionise suicide hotline protocal. What capacity did you work for the police in? I'm sorry for some of the things you must have seen. Police get to see the absolute lowest assortmenmt of humanity, I am certian. A friend of mine had a car accident a while back and as soon as these 2 cops got there and started directing traffic it started pouring cats and dogs and as soon as every thing was done it quit, so I was telling them thanks for keeping people safe in the rain like that and this one goes " well that happens so often to us we didn't even notice the rain....my I am wet " just put a positive spin on a kind of bad thing, at least no one was hurt though. Mike > Yes Marilyn that is something that people who feel suicidal really need to think of is all the people who desperately wanted to live but who were not allowed to, it is like kicking them in the teeth, but then suicide is the ultimate selfishness anyway. Im stickin just hoping to see what God is gonna do to the conservatives when she comes back, or maybe to see what kind of thing they will try to tell her about all of her beings they have murdered.........especially if my Indian brothers and sisters are right and even the trees, rocks, water, air ect. is all made up of living things. PEACE.......OUT...Mike > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Well I don't know how bad your side effects are I had hep c for a very long time, 30 or 35 years, and even in the end the doctors said that it was the cirrosis from my stupid alcholic/drug addict years that was killing me. Do you have cirrosis? When I look back on it the only thing that could have happened was some kind of divine intervention that kept me alive till science was developed enough to save my life like this. I was THE man from chemical dysfunction when I was younger. There are many things that you need to figure into your decision for sure. There is also no shortage of different schools of thought about hep c either. I like alot of what the holistic people say but they have no lab results to show and that makes their knowledge superstition in my eyes. LOL bet I catch hell for saying that BUT ya gotta call it as ya see it. Treatment was not an option for me before my sugery the doc said it would have killed me. I will tell you this though an ordinary MD knows very little about hep c I had this one old country doc tell me " oh that hepatitis c isn't anything to worry about you get over it in a month or so " you need to go to a hepatoligist and in my opinion ( something which I'm sure there appears to be far too much of lol ) the hepatology departments at the large university hospitals are by far the best. hep c has only been isolated as an independant strain since 1989 so its a rather new field Something else I feel I've found is, be it right or wrong, in the primarily patriarcal society we have, female doctors are the better ones as they have something to prove and therefor try harder. I could just be nutz ( well actually its probably a pretty sure bet that I am lol ) but it sure seems to be so to me. Not that I'll ever admit that to my Lady when I find her. LOL Something you might consider is, do you want to try to deal with it now or wait till you have transplantation as your only option? I'm kind of glad it was a bit more refined before I got really sick cause it looks like that damn peg intron mix hurt a lot of people. I wish you all the luck in the world with it. utmem.edu is a good site but I don't know how far you will get into the site without being authorized........Mike > i was wondering what would happen if i refuse treatment and just live and take care od myself > is this possible > i want to help people and i am taking administration of justice classes ,nut i am off for the summer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 yea Sonny it is something that really freaks me out when a person with so much going for them is so sad and depressed that they do that, they say that chemical imbalance can be a big part of it ( although I know for a fact that that story will not fly with a police officer when they are busting you for selling pot ) but the cosmos, I feel has a way of dealing with people who give their life back like that, in their next incarnation they are probably going to be a dung beetle or some such thing, with all I've gone through I'll probably come back as a....well nevermind....Mike > Yes Marilyn that is something that people who feel suicidal really need to think of is all the people who desperately wanted to live but who were not allowed to, it is like kicking them in the teeth, but then suicide is the ultimate selfishness anyway. Im stickin just hoping to see what God is gonna do to the conservatives when she comes back, or maybe to see what kind of thing they will try to tell her about all of her beings they have murdered.........especially if my Indian brothers and sisters are right and even the trees, rocks, water, air ect. is all made up of living things. PEACE.......OUT...Mike > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Hi Mike, I'm sorry we didn't know what you were going through when Pete was going through it, too. I know if it was me, I would have been crazy! I don't wear my faith on my sleeve, but I would have been praying my heart out for you. I wish you well coming out the other side of this, and will keep you in my prayers now. So sad about the woman who killed herself because she couldn't go on without " Daddy " . She left two little boys behind, 9 and 7 - and I know their lives have just never been right because of her selfishness, but their lives were probably not right before she took such a drastic step, if she could think so little of them to take her own life. I hugged my son and my daughter so tightly the day she committed suicide, and promised them I would never leave them as long as they needed me. God willing, they are now 34 and 35, so I know they are ok now and by grace, I am still here. I'm so glad you have the attitude you do about cops. They get such a bad rap in the media and on TV programs and movies. Most people who become cops do so because they are social workers at heart, and feel they can make life better for other people. The ones who want to write the most tickets and make the big arrests don't last long. My capacity in this particular police department was really very special. This department was just swept of mob corruption - the former police chief was a personal friend of Tony Spilotro (if anyone saw the movie " Casino " , Joe Peschi played the real-life role of Tony Spilotro, really spooky guy). Tony Spilotro and his brother were buried alive in a cornfield in Indiana several years ago, they even pissed off the mob! The " reform " chief hired me as his secretary, then when a lieutenant went to prison for corruption, I was put in charge of all his non-sworn personnel. That meant clerical workers, dispatchers, and community service officers. After people in power knew I could be trusted, I became the secretary to the Police and Fire Commission,and later to control personnel for the department. These are very sensitive areas, because every cop has a lawyer as they are so prone to lawsuits, and even an officer having a vasectomy can have it dragged into court as evidence in a lawsuit. Then I became a police matron. There were no women officers, and they couldn't bring a woman into the department for questioning or for an arrest without having another woman there through everything. They sent me to the county for matron training, where I had to learn how to do strip searches, no picnic! The defense training was pretty cool, though! Luckily, all the females they brought in that I had to strip search had been arrested so many times before, that they knew the routine better than I did - take off one shoe at a time and pass it, etc. Then they decided I had to be there every time they brought a juvenile in. Every day was an adventure, I never knew what I was walking into. We had tornadoes and blizzards, all sorts of exciting things. We had people trying to drive other people crazy, humanity runs such a gamut. We used to laugh at all the cop programs, the most telling program on TV to what a police department really is, to this day, is Barney ! It was an amazing experience, but after several years, there was one thing that brought me to my knees, and it hasn't slowed or stopped yet. That's the abuse of children, and it's what makes most cops quit after about 5 years. Emotional, physical and sexual abuse continues at the same pace. And it doesn't matter what the social or economic level is, it's the same all around. I was not strong enough to be there for the children anymore. I knew I had to be there for my own, so I quit, and I still miss it to this day. Ok, way more than you wanted to know, Marilyn Re: Marilyn's reply Yes Mairlyn it was very bad and stressful when Pete passed to the other side of the viel, I had been hospitalised 2 times for what spelled his demise and it was scary. I love your insight about the woman who pulled that theatrical stunt that I'm sure hurt someone somewhere, but heres a note to all suicide potentials DO NOT! Kill your self or we will all laugh at your stupid assed stunt, it may revolutionise suicide hotline protocal. What capacity did you work for the police in? I'm sorry for some of the things you must have seen. Police get to see the absolute lowest assortmenmt of humanity, I am certian. A friend of mine had a car accident a while back and as soon as these 2 cops got there and started directing traffic it started pouring cats and dogs and as soon as every thing was done it quit, so I was telling them thanks for keeping people safe in the rain like that and this one goes " well that happens so often to us we didn't even notice the rain....my I am wet " just put a positive spin on a kind of bad thing, at least no one was hurt though. Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Gee Marilyn I am so glad I came back to these groups though you may not know it you have just generated a thought in me that answered a question I have always wanted to ask God! the question was " what is this deal with this world where tiny new born beings are viciously eaten by voracious preditory monsters " I believe in evolutionary reincarnation and I see that those tiny beings may well be the next incarnation of people who commit suicide which in turn generates possible reason for a miriad of other karmic injustices, thank you you have opened a whole new area of thought for me. As far as what I was going through perhaps the pain and anger caused by the lonliness and other complications were what made me angry enough to go the extra mile it took to get my transplant, it is an intense weeding out process as 1 in 4 people who need transplant actually ever get one. It brings tears to my eyes to learn that woman had 2 children and it pisses me off to no end, how dare she do that to her kids! You dont wear your faith on your sleeve? well that is something I consider much in your favor I went to catholic school and I seem to remember something in the Bible about the heresy of those who go to church sit in the front row ( me thinks they do profess to much ) lol I used to have a bad attitude towords the police but I was doing alot of illegal things then too, I have a friend who is an x highway patrol and one day I said something about the cops and he said " now dont be disrespectful " , man I had to laugh and tell him that it is c.o.p.s constable on patrol it was a good laugh for both of us lol I had a cousin who was a " walking tall " kind of sheriff and we never got along that well but when I needed help he was right there for me and he was a very honest man, very feared by the bad boys too I might add. I had no idea that Peschi's role was generated by a real character/situation that was almost as disturbed as the one he played in goodfellas, scary, I never intend to have to deal with that element again,I paid all my debts with a healthy tip to make sure of it. I am glad to hear that niether of us live under the old microscope anymore lol that kind of scrutiny should be reserved for dental appointments. It is a shame that a few bad cops make it bad for a lot of people who are trying to do a good thing and it is a bad thing that people have such a tendancy to accentuate the negative over the positive. Don't know if this means anything to you but Mason Proffit just got back together they were from Indiana, but not to worry Terry Talbot says he will always keep his gospel band going on the side too. Mason Proffit was a band that I could never understand why they were not a worldwide phenomenon they were awesome. Terry's brother will not be in the reformation he became a priest ( sorry I got sidetracked ) child molestation and abuse is possibly the worst thing in this country, people who do that need a paritcularly horrible punishment, done on PBS too, it has to stop! Don't feel bad about not being able to handle it I'm sure you did far more than most of us did. My little sister is a judge who's court specializes in child relocation in cases of methamphetamine lab busts and it is disgusting all the children who are addicted to that shit because mommie and daddie make it in the kitchen she says they are so far gone on the shit some of them are borderline retards. I was raised in Iowa so I, ID with the tornados and bilzzards . I dont care for all this heat but Ive never had to shovel out a driveway filled with rain lol Well I guess I've said too much OH! another part of my insanity!!!!!!!!! I think that the Goddess the earth religions worship is the same being that the christian churches call the holy spirit. ( there now I've said to much for sure ) Mike -- - In Hepatitis C , " Marilyn Wilkinson " <MarilynWilkinson@E...> wrote: > Hi Mike, I'm sorry we didn't know what you were going through when Pete was going through it, too. I know if it was me, I would have been crazy! I don't wear my faith on my sleeve, but I would have been praying my heart out for you. I wish you well coming out the other side of this, and will keep you in my prayers now. > > So sad about the woman who killed herself because she couldn't go on without " Daddy " . She left two little boys behind, 9 and 7 - and I know their lives have just never been right because of her selfishness, but their lives were probably not right before she took such a drastic step, if she could think so little of them to take her own life. I hugged my son and my daughter so tightly the day she committed suicide, and promised them I would never leave them as long as they needed me. God willing, they are now 34 and 35, so I know they are ok now and by grace, I am still here. > > I'm so glad you have the attitude you do about cops. They get such a bad rap in the media and on TV programs and movies. Most people who become cops do so because they are social workers at heart, and feel they can make life better for other people. The ones who want to write the most tickets and make the big arrests don't last long. > > My capacity in this particular police department was really very special. This department was just swept of mob corruption - the former police chief was a personal friend of Tony Spilotro (if anyone saw the movie " Casino " , Joe Peschi played the real-life role of Tony Spilotro, really spooky guy). Tony Spilotro and his brother were buried alive in a cornfield in Indiana several years ago, they even pissed off the mob! The " reform " chief hired me as his secretary, then when a lieutenant went to prison for corruption, I was put in charge of all his non-sworn personnel. That meant clerical workers, dispatchers, and community service officers. After people in power knew I could be trusted, I became the secretary to the Police and Fire Commission,and later to control personnel for the department. These are very sensitive areas, because every cop has a lawyer as they are so prone to lawsuits, and even an officer having a vasectomy can have it dragged into court as evidence in a lawsuit. > > Then I became a police matron. There were no women officers, and they couldn't bring a woman into the department for questioning or for an arrest without having another woman there through everything. They sent me to the county for matron training, where I had to learn how to do strip searches, no picnic! The defense training was pretty cool, though! Luckily, all the females they brought in that I had to strip search had been arrested so many times before, that they knew the routine better than I did - take off one shoe at a time and pass it, etc. Then they decided I had to be there every time they brought a juvenile in. > > Every day was an adventure, I never knew what I was walking into. We had tornadoes and blizzards, all sorts of exciting things. We had people trying to drive other people crazy, humanity runs such a gamut. We used to laugh at all the cop programs, the most telling program on TV to what a police department really is, to this day, is Barney ! > > It was an amazing experience, but after several years, there was one thing that brought me to my knees, and it hasn't slowed or stopped yet. That's the abuse of children, and it's what makes most cops quit after about 5 years. Emotional, physical and sexual abuse continues at the same pace. And it doesn't matter what the social or economic level is, it's the same all around. I was not strong enough to be there for the children anymore. I knew I had to be there for my own, so I quit, and I still miss it to this day. > > Ok, way more than you wanted to know, > > Marilyn > > > Re: Marilyn's reply > > > Yes Mairlyn it was very bad and stressful when Pete > passed to the other side of the viel, I had been hospitalised 2 times > for what spelled his demise and it was scary. I love your insight > about the woman who pulled that theatrical stunt that I'm sure hurt > someone somewhere, but heres a note to all suicide potentials DO NOT! > Kill your self or we will all laugh at your stupid assed stunt, it > may revolutionise suicide hotline protocal. What capacity did you > work for the police in? I'm sorry for some of the things you must > have seen. Police get to see the absolute lowest assortmenmt of > humanity, I am certian. A friend of mine had a car accident a while > back and as soon as these 2 cops got there and started directing > traffic it started pouring cats and dogs and as soon as every thing > was done it quit, so I was telling them thanks for keeping people > safe in the rain like that and this one goes " well that happens so > often to us we didn't even notice the rain....my I am wet " just put a > positive spin on a kind of bad thing, at least no one was hurt > though. Mike > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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