Re: Back in the hospital

[Guest guest]

wrote: " What is interesting is that my father hated his own

father. I don't really remember that much about him since I rarely saw

him what with us living in Virginia and him being in Alabama and that

he died when I was about 13 or so. What I do remember of him though

wasn't bad. Probably it was that my father saw in his father his own

failings and hated that. No telling though. "

Perhaps. Here is another possibility stolem from my own life,

. My child's perception and experience of his grandfather is

that of a completely different person than my own experiences of him

as a parent. If you were to ask me the truth of my father -- with my

child nowhere in sight or within ear's shot -- I would have to tell

you that he was a bastard in almost every sense of the word, safe the

typical out-of-wedlock definition. Something to consider perhaps when

looking at the situation between your father and his father.

Raven

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/2006 10:55:57 AM Eastern Standard Time, ravenmagic2003@... writes:

Perhaps. Here is another possibility stolem from my own life, . My child's perception and experience of his grandfather is that of a completely different person than my own experiences of him as a parent. If you were to ask me the truth of my father -- with my child nowhere in sight or within ear's shot -- I would have to tell you that he was a bastard in almost every sense of the word, safe the typical out-of-wedlock definition. Something to consider perhaps when looking at the situation between your father and his father.Raven

That could be true. My own father was always on such good behavior in public that no one could believe the stories I would tell about him for many years after their divorce. Some still have a hard time believing it.

[Guest guest]

wrote: " I just got a call from the neighbors and my father

is on his way back to the hospital ... <snip> ... "

I hope he decides to stay in hospital rather than check himself out

and that things improve for everyone in the near future.

Raven

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/15/2006 11:51:52 PM Eastern Standard Time, ravenmagic2003@... writes:

I hope he decides to stay in hospital rather than check himself out and that things improve for everyone in the near future.Raven

I am not sure he will be in there for very long. The nurse I spoke to last night said my father was being admitted, but that his pressures were back to more normal ranges. They are going to test him over the next couple of days to see what they can find out. The symptoms all read to me like dehydration and heat exhaustion bordering on heat stroke.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/16/2006 3:17:22 PM Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes:

That could actually be a sign of heat exhaustion. Even though heat exhaustion is the opposite of hypothermia, both sometimes present with the same symptoms in regard to mental capacity and the ability to process information.Sounds like your dad is putting himself on a roller coaster.It isn't really fair that you are having to become involved this way, and I do feell for you.Tom

When I spoke to the doctor today, he did agree that this sounded like a heat problem. After all, my father does keep the thermostat up at 85 degrees and the house is stifling according to the neighbors.

Probably I am going to be having a different nursing company look in on him after this and that is probably what the doctor is going to recommend. It also might not be long before he ends up in a home either, but I'll worry about that when the time comes.

Thanks for the concern too. This is all rather irritating, but it really isn't taking much of my time or causing me much worry.

[Guest guest]

That could actually be a sign of heat exhaustion. Even though heat

exhaustion is the opposite of hypothermia, both sometimes present

with the same symptoms in regard to mental capacity and the ability

to process information.

Sounds like your dad is putting himself on a roller coaster.

It isn't really fair that you are having to become involved this way,

and I do feell for you.

Tom

It wasn't so much talking really as me saying a couple of things and

listening to him breathing really heavily. Eventually he would ask

what I had said or something like that, clearly he was either

confused and probably a bit drunk. We finally convinced him to go and

so that's where he is now. I'm sure I'll get an update later.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/16/2006 5:30:41 PM Eastern Standard Time, nancygailus@... writes:

Would you mind a question? I wonder if the neighbors could be calling you because they think, as your father's son, you would be interested or if you asked them to. By no means am I trying to suggest you stop the interest if you still think your father is worth having around. I just always got the impression he wasn't. They seem to know your mother is not the person to share info with. has he discovered the guns are missing yet? Uh-oh. Since you work for your family, it just occurred to me you might the one paying the hospital bills.

While I don't like the man, I'm not wishing him dead. It suits me fine not to have to even think about him, but these are times when I don't have much choice in the matter. However, it is reaching the point where the doctors will be making the decisions in this matter and it will simply be a matter of doing what they say.

We aren't sure if he has noticed them gone or not. He hasn't said anything to anyone about it.

The money for his care is coming from insurance and Medicare, with some from the business. He does have his own portion of income from it and so some of the cost comes from that. However, given the way he has treated me all my life, giving me junk and second-rate items (with very rare exceptions) while getting himself top of the line, I am not inclined to harm the business to support him. There is an assisted living place near where he lives that bases their rates on ability to pay, so if he must be sent there, then selling his house should cover a lot of that expense for many years.

Its just an annoying distraction. I can't stand the man but blood demands I at least do a little something.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/16/2006 7:41:46 PM Eastern Standard Time, 6emini@... writes:

I don't know what to say but my thoughts are with you whatever comes next.Kim

Thanks Kim. It is a tough situation. He's the man who has wronged me more than all other men I have ever known combined and left me with issues I'm still dealing with nearly 20 years after the folks divorced. However, I can't just throw him to the wind because he is family. Well, that and the folks in Alabama would take a VERY dim view of that, even though they have a small idea of what he is. Family is very strong down there with them and they would not take it well if I just dumped him. Besides, he does still have his own minor interest in the business, which is pretty much income only with no executive powers, thanks to his own mother who finally saw him for what he was.

Thanks again.

[Guest guest]

Would you mind a question? I wonder if the neighbors could be calling you because they think, as your father's son, you would be interested or if you asked them to. By no means am I trying to suggest you stop the interest if you still think your father is worth having around. I just always got the impression he wasn't. They seem to know your mother is not the person to share info with. has he discovered the guns are missing yet? Uh-oh. Since you work for your family, it just occurred to me you might the one paying the hospital bills. VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 7/16/2006 3:17:22 PM Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes: Probably I am going to be having a different nursing company look in on him after this and that is probably what the doctor is going to recommend. It also might not be long before he ends up in a home either, but I'll worry about that when the time comes. Thanks for the concern too. This is all rather irritating, but it really isn't taking much of my time or causing me much worry. If you love something, set it free! So it is with books. See what I mean atwww.bookcrossing.com/friend/nheckoblogcritics.orghttp://notesfromnancy.blogspot.com Heckofreelance proofreadernancygailus@...

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[Guest guest]

I don't know what to say but my thoughts are with you whatever comes

next.

Kim

>

> I just got a call from the neighbors and my father is on his way

back to the hospital.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/17/2006 7:30:18 PM Eastern Standard Time, dksunglsses@... writes:

I agree with you he is blood and there for you do have a duty but remember your first duty is to yourself and if he puts you in harms way either mentaly or physically you have to be prepared to give up on him. You also have to be aware that he may not want help, he may be trying to die, some alcoholics will do this from time to time, try to drink themselves to death becuase they cant see there way out of the bottom of the bottle.

Right now all the decisions are moving out of my hands anyway. The doctors are going to be sending him to an assisted living/rehabilitation place for a few weeks. They want him to get his strength and endurance back up before they think about sending him home again. If he does get sent home, then he will require daily visits from a nurse. If he has to stay there, then there will be other problems to deal with. However, since those will be matters of a legal nature, I will hand that over to my lawyer and let him fool with all that.

Maybe some time in that place will straighten him out. I suspect, however, that he'll probably either leave or be kicked out before the 3 weeks are up because I don't think he can go that long without a drink nor can he keep up his sweet persona for that long at a stretch. He's bound to slip and get really nasty on someone.

This still hasn't gotten to be much of a bother. The decisions are largely based on what the doctors say at this point. If he doesn't want to cooperate and leaves the rehab place, I just might have to tell the hospital the next time that they call about him that I'm through fooling with him. Again the problem isn't so much him as it is the folks in Alabama. Dumping my father like that, even though it might be a reasonable thing to do, would be looked upon very poorly by them. Since I will have associations with them probably for the rest of my life, I do need to stay on good terms with them.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/17/2006 7:30:18 PM Eastern Standard Time, dksunglsses@... writes:

I agree with you he is blood and there for you do have a duty but remember your first duty is to yourself and if he puts you in harms way either mentaly or physically you have to be prepared to give up on him. You also have to be aware that he may not want help, he may be trying to die, some alcoholics will do this from time to time, try to drink themselves to death becuase they cant see there way out of the bottom of the bottle.

Right now all the decisions are moving out of my hands anyway. The doctors are going to be sending him to an assisted living/rehabilitation place for a few weeks. They want him to get his strength and endurance back up before they think about sending him home again. If he does get sent home, then he will require daily visits from a nurse. If he has to stay there, then there will be other problems to deal with. However, since those will be matters of a legal nature, I will hand that over to my lawyer and let him fool with all that.

Maybe some time in that place will straighten him out. I suspect, however, that he'll probably either leave or be kicked out before the 3 weeks are up because I don't think he can go that long without a drink nor can he keep up his sweet persona for that long at a stretch. He's bound to slip and get really nasty on someone.

This still hasn't gotten to be much of a bother. The decisions are largely based on what the doctors say at this point. If he doesn't want to cooperate and leaves the rehab place, I just might have to tell the hospital the next time that they call about him that I'm through fooling with him. Again the problem isn't so much him as it is the folks in Alabama. Dumping my father like that, even though it might be a reasonable thing to do, would be looked upon very poorly by them. Since I will have associations with them probably for the rest of my life, I do need to stay on good terms with them.

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I agree with you he is blood and there for you do have a duty but

remember your first duty is to yourself and if he puts you in harms

way either mentaly or physically you have to be prepared to give up

on him. You also have to be aware that he may not want help, he may

be trying to die, some alcoholics will do this from time to time, try

to drink themselves to death becuase they cant see there way out of

the bottom of the bottle.

The offer still stands I am here for you day or night if you need

help or want to talk about the situation, I will not abandon you,

and I do understand, you know how to get a hold of me, Tom also has

my phone # if you need it. You are not alone dealing with this I

will help you if you need help ( and BTW, sometimes just knowing

there is someone else out there who understands, is all you need I

understand that too)

Beth

>

>

> In a message dated 7/16/2006 5:30:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> nancygailus@... writes:

>

>

>

> Would you mind a question? I wonder if the neighbors could be

calling you

> because they think, as your father's son, you would be interested

or if you

> asked them to. By no means am I trying to suggest you stop the

interest if you

> still think your father is worth having around. I just always got

the

> impression he wasn't. They seem to know your mother is not the

person to share info

> with. has he discovered the guns are missing yet? Uh-oh. Since you

work for

> your family, it just occurred to me you might the one paying the

hospital

> bills.

>

>

>

>

>

> While I don't like the man, I'm not wishing him dead. It suits me

fine not

> to have to even think about him, but these are times when I don't

have much

> choice in the matter. However, it is reaching the point where the

doctors will

> be making the decisions in this matter and it will simply be a

matter of doing

> what they say.

>

> We aren't sure if he has noticed them gone or not. He hasn't said

anything

> to anyone about it.

>

> The money for his care is coming from insurance and Medicare, with

some from

> the business. He does have his own portion of income from it and so

some of

> the cost comes from that. However, given the way he has treated me

all my

> life, giving me junk and second-rate items (with very rare

exceptions) while

> getting himself top of the line, I am not inclined to harm the

business to

> support him. There is an assisted living place near where he lives

that bases their

> rates on ability to pay, so if he must be sent there, then selling

his house

> should cover a lot of that expense for many years.

>

> Its just an annoying distraction. I can't stand the man but blood

demands I

> at least do a little something.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Antabuse has been used by alcoholics. It makes them vomit every time they drink. Ask the docs about that. VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 7/17/2006 7:30:18 PM Eastern Standard Time, dksunglsses@... writes: I agree with you he is blood and there for you do have a duty but remember your first duty is to yourself and if he puts you in

harms way either mentaly or physically you have to be prepared to give up on him. You also have to be aware that he may not want help, he may be trying to die, some alcoholics will do this from time to time, try to drink themselves to death becuase they cant see there way out of the bottom of the bottle. Right now all the decisions are moving out of my hands anyway. The doctors are going to be sending him to an assisted living/rehabilitation place for a few weeks. They want him to get his strength and endurance back up before they think about sending him home again. If he does get sent home, then he will require daily visits from a nurse. If he has to stay there, then there will be other problems to deal with. However, since those will be matters of a legal nature, I will hand that over to my lawyer and let him fool with all that. Maybe some time in that place will

straighten him out. I suspect, however, that he'll probably either leave or be kicked out before the 3 weeks are up because I don't think he can go that long without a drink nor can he keep up his sweet persona for that long at a stretch. He's bound to slip and get really nasty on someone. This still hasn't gotten to be much of a bother. The decisions are largely based on what the doctors say at this point. If he doesn't want to cooperate and leaves the rehab place, I just might have to tell the hospital the next time that they call about him that I'm through fooling with him. Again the problem isn't so much him as it is the folks in Alabama. Dumping my father like that, even though it might be a reasonable thing to do, would be looked upon very poorly by them. Since I will have associations with them probably for the rest of my life, I do need to stay on good terms with them.

Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/18/2006 10:57:57 AM Eastern Standard Time, nancygailus@... writes:

I suspected as much. Are the neighbors who called you some of those who would not believe you because your father is completely charming? I once worked in an emergency room in a Level II trauma hospital (no gunshot victims), and remember a form that one signs "Against Medical Advice". A patient leaves, and they are acknowledging they are adults and capable of making their own decisions. Your head is well on your shoulders now. Lawyers can handle the legalities. I agree with the next time (if there is) to tip the docs you are out of it.

He came be very charming when he wants to be. However, if one is perceptive, they can see that much of his charm is, how to put it, sickly sweet. By that I mean that he is a little too sweet and nice, the nastiness in there tainting it to make it sarcastic. Most people never seem to catch it though. I think the neighbors are also lulled because he is this old man that is living by himself. Well, he's living by himself mostly because he is so miserable to be around for any length of time.

As I understand it, the last time he left the hospital he did so on the doctor's release. If he leaves this rehab place before the 3 weeks are up, it would have to be against medical advice. If he does that, and won't take nurses visiting at home, I probably will wash my hands of it. I would get involved after he has is committed to a home and I handle the dispensation of his assets, meaning his house and car, with the proceeds set up to provide for his care.

He is very trying though. But like I said, it is not something that is taking much of my time or effort to deal with. I only think about it when I am posting or dealing with the doctors, neighbors or the folks in Alabama. I've already got the plans made and they could be adjusted to meet most eventualities, so I'm not wasting much thought on it.

[Guest guest]

The problem with that is the alcholic has to take it, if they want to drink they won't take the medicine, it is very rarely prescribed for that reason. Most people that want to drink themselves to death will not take it cause this is want they want, not to throw up the alcohol. Bethnick <drumthis2001@...> wrote: Antabuse has been used by alcoholics. It makes them vomit every time they drink. Ask the docs about that. VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 7/17/2006 7:30:18 PM Eastern Standard Time, dksunglsses@... writes: I agree with you he is blood and there for you do have a duty but remember your first duty is to yourself and if he puts you in harms way either mentaly or physically you have to be prepared to give up on him. You also have to be aware that he may not want help, he may be trying to die, some alcoholics will do this from time to time, try to drink themselves to death becuase they cant see there way out of the bottom of the bottle. Right now all the decisions are moving out of my hands anyway. The doctors are going to be

sending him to an assisted living/rehabilitation place for a few weeks. They want him to get his strength and endurance back up before they think about sending him home again. If he does get sent home, then he will require daily visits from a nurse. If he has to stay there, then there will be other problems to deal with. However, since those will be matters of a legal nature, I will hand that over to my lawyer and let him fool with all that. Maybe some time in that place will straighten him out. I suspect, however, that he'll probably either leave or be kicked out before the 3 weeks are up because I don't think he can go that long without a drink nor can he keep up his sweet persona for that long at a stretch. He's bound to slip and get really nasty on someone. This still hasn't gotten to be much of a bother. The decisions are largely based on what the doctors say at this point. If he doesn't want to cooperate

and leaves the rehab place, I just might have to tell the hospital the next time that they call about him that I'm through fooling with him. Again the problem isn't so much him as it is the folks in Alabama. Dumping my father like that, even though it might be a reasonable thing to do, would be looked upon very poorly by them. Since I will have associations with them probably for the rest of my life, I do need to stay on good terms with them. Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less.

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[Guest guest]

Oh Amy,

I am sorry you are back in the hospital. You are having an extremely rough

start to this disease. Yes, some kids get the IV steroids. If the kineret

doesn't work, there is another good drug that some children have had wonderful

luck with. It is an il-6 inhibitor called Actemra. So you still have that in

your back pocket. I will keep Avery in my prayers. Take care, (n,

21, systemic)

On Sep 29, 2010, at 6:45 AM, Amy Spurger wrote:

> We made it home at 8:30 pm monday night and had a pretty good day tuesday.

> Tuesday night he started having joint pain, then fever then abdominal and

chest

> pain. Talked to rhumy fellow on the phone the thought was might need to do 3

> days of iv steroids but wanted us seen in er to rule out a few heart things,

we

> were told monday he had a moderate amount of fluid around his heart. They gave

> him iv antacids in the er and wow that helped and made me feel good, we were

> admitted and are waiting on the rhumy to round. His pedi was here and is

hoping

> they will send us back home and increase the steroids orally. We will see.

>

> Amy mom to Avery 17 DS and SOJRA

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Amy,

I'm so sorry to hear that Avery is back in the hospital. But you are in the

right place. My daughter did the 3 days of IV steroids and it brought down the

fluid around her heart. Then she went home on oral steroids. I hope they can

start the IL-6 blocker for him, or another biologic that can help. You are all

in my prayers, hang in there.

nn (, 9, systemic)

>

> We made it home at 8:30 pm monday night and had a pretty good day tuesday.

> Tuesday night he started having joint pain, then fever then abdominal and

chest

> pain. Talked to rhumy fellow on the phone the thought was might need to do 3

> days of iv steroids but wanted us seen in er to rule out a few heart things,

we

> were told monday he had a moderate amount of fluid around his heart. They

gave

> him iv antacids in the er and wow that helped and made me feel good, we were

> admitted and are waiting on the rhumy to round. His pedi was here and is

hoping

> they will send us back home and increase the steroids orally. We will see.

>

> Amy mom to Avery 17 DS and SOJRA

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Amy,

Sorry to hear your son is in the hospital. To a quick recovery. Rose had a

cortisone shot for her condition. She hasn't needed oral steroids for this

condition, but she has taken them for her liver. Lots of times,they work, but

it is one of those meds you want to limit,due to lots of fun side effects.

Jo

>

> We made it home at 8:30 pm monday night and had a pretty good day tuesday.

> Tuesday night he started having joint pain, then fever then abdominal and

chest

> pain. Talked to rhumy fellow on the phone the thought was might need to do 3

> days of iv steroids but wanted us seen in er to rule out a few heart things,

we

> were told monday he had a moderate amount of fluid around his heart. They

gave

> him iv antacids in the er and wow that helped and made me feel good, we were

> admitted and are waiting on the rhumy to round. His pedi was here and is

hoping

> they will send us back home and increase the steroids orally. We will see.

>

> Amy mom to Avery 17 DS and SOJRA

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

So sorry to hear he is back in. I hope he is doing better soon. You are in my

thoughts, Michele (23, spondy)

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of

Amy Spurger

Sent: Wednesday, September 29, 2010 8:46 AM

Subject: Back in the hospital

We made it home at 8:30 pm monday night and had a pretty good day tuesday.

Tuesday night he started having joint pain, then fever then abdominal and chest

pain. Talked to rhumy fellow on the phone the thought was might need to do 3

days of iv steroids but wanted us seen in er to rule out a few heart things, we

were told monday he had a moderate amount of fluid around his heart. They gave

him iv antacids in the er and wow that helped and made me feel good, we were

admitted and are waiting on the rhumy to round. His pedi was here and is hoping

they will send us back home and increase the steroids orally. We will see.

Amy mom to Avery 17 DS and SOJRA

[Guest guest]

I am very sorry to hear that!!!!!!!!!! Prayers are going out to you. I hope this

all gets straightened out soon. Best wishes

Xoxo

Shea