Adventures of Arthritis'hood'

[Guest guest]

Well, since Robin started the potty stories, guess I have to tell one about me and a friend that was really hilarious... I reflect on it now and still laugh even though it was many years ago. I have this friend, Dina who has severe systemic JRA, uses a wheelchair full time, can't really transfer very well without assistance. Well, many years ago, we were taking classes together at Palomar community college and her assistant that takes her on bathroom breaks. Well for some reason, her assistant not only didn't call but didn't show up and Dina calls me. Now, I really never understood WHY she would call me... someone else with Arthritis to help her.. I can't lift her... i can't really do much at all!! But I guess it's cause she knows I understand and would do what I could to help her even if it hurt me and know that it's kinda embarrassing... you don't want anyone seeing your bum. So she calls me up and we decide to go to the bathroom in the administration building knowing it's pretty accessible and I could park my scooter in a safe spot where it wouldn't be stolen or something. It's amazing how many places claim to have accessible bathrooms but don't actually so we have learned to scout that out in advanced. She doesn't have a transfer board with her so I'm thinking.. just HOW are we going to do that?? So she says, well if we find the toilet with the 'right' height, i can just bounce over and back.... " ... okay..... i think.... " .... lol. So we get to the stahl and figure out that the toilet seat is just a little too low from her scooter seat height and there really isn't enough room for me to hold on to her back as she bounces over from her scooter seat to the toilet seat.. so now what. Next idea.... how about one of those adjustable office chairs!! Oh yes.. perfect.. but.. how do you a) explain WHY you need one.... find the right one because of course we need one that is easily adjustable AND has NO arms so she can actually transfer... plus had a hope that whoever loaned us the chair wasn't really thinking about the fact that someones bare bum would be on it and poor DIna too to have to deal with that. So we go around.. look for someone nice.. .someone familiar and find a armless adjustable chair.... we get into the stahl.. by this time, laughing our heads off..... especially at the strange looks we get rolling into the bathroom,.. her in her scooter and me hobbling around with a office chair.... on hard floors with grooves in them so of course the chair doesn't even roll straight!! So I hold the chair still and Dina slides onto it... mind you.. she has the very typical JRA type limbs.. short arms... contractured knees... so the one thing that kinda helps her out is her kinda big bum but still, we are trying not to laugh because she has to really rock herself back and fourth to slide it onto the seat and nothing she can really reach to hold onto but my arm which isn't great support!! So on that chair... I push her next to the toilet and we lower the seat down..... guess what.... it didn't go down far enougH!!!! There was still to much of a 'step' from the seat to the toilet and I knew that would esp be a problem for the transfer back cause she can't put any pressure on her legs and I can't lift her! Sooo.... I help the chair with her back up.. big UGH there.... and than back onto her scooter and back out the door to find ANOTHER armless adjustable chair that goes down MORE.... we take the first chair to compare it to any found 2nd chairs and of course test any found 2nd chairs to make sure they match the criteria... all the while laughing so hard, we could hardly breathe and good thing Dina is good at holding her potty cause Man oh man... lol. So finally we find the 'right' chair.... go back to the bathroom... do the whole transfer, slide blah blah and finally Dina gets to relieve herself and by this time, I need to go too! LOL. At least it wasn't such a pain for me to go... So all in all, I don't know... it must have taken an hour... and i was ANGRY as heck at her assistant that didn't show up... lol. But still, it was really funny and crazy in an odd crazy arthritis sort of way.... lol. -- " I am not sick. I am broken. But I am happy as long as I can paint. " --Frida Kahlo