AJAO 2007: Chronic Illness & Depression

[Guest guest]

AJAO 2007, 1-4 July, Hershey, Pa, USA.

Day 3, Parent Breakout Session

(Jo's note: I found these speakers incredibly difficult to hear, and so I am sure I missed heaps. I also felt that they did not stay totally on the topic, so did not take any notes at all when they did not. Where I have researched further, I have included websites. *)

Chronic Illness & Depression: beyond the physical

Speakers: Felker and Wagner-Felker

Everyone’s life gets turned upside down when a child is diagnosed with JIA. The diagnosis affects more than the child with the illness. And the siblings need to be considered, along with the parents!

It’s not unusual to go through the normal Grief Process as it is a sense of loss, of a ‘normal’ childhood that you are experiencing. You first need to learn skills in ‘coping’, then in ‘getting on with it’.

*for more on the Grief Process, see http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/02/21/what-is-a-normal-grieving-process/

Experts say this process can take from six weeks to one year, see http://www.helpstartshere.org/Default.aspx?PageID=895

Depending on the age of the child involved, they may lack awareness and an ability to recognise their feelings, (eg: anger) and so deal with them in a mature manner. And some of the feelings of Grief may resurface in the teenage years (when good old hormones come into play).

So it is vital for parents to use, and to teach their children a good “emotional vocabulary” to express emotions other than anger.

ie: How you, the parent, respond to the situations and emotions, will cue the whole family!

*to read about the Cycle of Pain, see http://www.advancedpaindoctor.com/pain_cycle.htm

However, if you find that the family, or any single member of it, is still grieving quite some time after diagnosis, it is time to seek professional psychological help to learn some coping skills.

*This website helps parents identify grief in children http://www.apa.org/practice/ptguidelines.html

And this one is a kids’ site with videos on dealing with kids and crises http://pbskids.org/rogers/parentsteachers/special/scarynews.html

Birth order of the children will also have an effect how the siblings handle the impact of JIA on family life.

*see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_order also Dr Leman’s popular book http://www.drleman.com/books-birth-order/the-birth-order-book.php#loadIEAnchor

There are a few good avenues in helping a child show emotion or work through feelings, depending on the ability and ages involved. One therapy that applies to all ages and abilities is Music. Everyone can participate, even if that’s just sitting back and enjoying!

*Australian Music Therapy Association, Inc. http://www.austmta.org.au/

See also

http://www.enterthefreudianslip.com/use_of_music_in_therapy.htm

and

http://www.holisticonline.com/stress/stress_music-therapy.htm

Principles of Positive Parenting

(copyright: Felker and Wagner-Felker, 2007)

Do raise a child….Don’t raise a disability.

Do encourage…Don’t hinder.

Do empathize…Don’t excuse.

Do with…Don’t do for.

Do focus on strengths…Don’t focus on limitations.

Do succeed…Don’t fail to fail.

Do adapt…Don’t omit.

Do reframe…Don’t complain.