sonia

[Guest guest]

Welcome ,

I have had very similar experiences with my son, tom, who is 16. I started

taking him to psychologists at about 5 for his controlling behaviour, need

to have things his way or no way, and his aggressive responses. At 12.5 I

began studying ocd in a university course and BINGO! I had him assessed and

he was diagnosed with ocd/mdd!

Before he was on medication he was suicidal and non-functional since he

was so involved in his rituals. Over the past 3.5 years he has been in the

hospital twice, arrested numerous times, placed in childrens services care

for a year, taken out because they were abusive to him, has a criminal

record for assault and is on probation for a year (must be in counselling,

TAKE HIS MEDS, go to school...), and has since been charged with public

mischief and assualt, which the lawyer expects to have dropped.

When our lives were unbearable, we asked each of my 5 siblings if they

could take tom in and every one of them said no, he is too aggressive. Many

of them think that he acts as he does due to poor parenting. He is really a

nice, altruistic and polite kid, with ocd, impulse control, and an attitude

that says " I need to know so I can control " !!

Tom was placed in children's services care b/c of us not complying to his

demands. When we refused, he beat us. He would attack his father and only

the police could seperate them - unless they took toooooo long to arrive,

and then sometimes he would settle down on his own ( which is what usually

happened). We never charged him with assault, but in the group homes it was

easier to call 911 than learn the correct therapeutic ways to deal with him.

Tom now lives here under the condition that he takes the bus to school,

and to the doc's and to his probation officer (the exact opposite part of

town), must keep the peace (he has to go to his room or leave the house if

he threatens or is aggressive ...) and must be a productive part of the

family. He understands that there are no options left for him if he cant

live here.

I must mention that tom's father and 2 sisters also have ocd/mdd!! Our

life is based on cognitive behavioural therapy, and, exposure with response

prevention. I ended up becoming a social worker in youth and family

practice, and participated in the Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation's

Behavioural Institute where they teach cbt for ocd!

Now, I'm going to tell you what I've told everyone else: You must take care

of yourself. You are the most important part of your sons life, his support

and advocate. If you dont take the time to care for yourself, you will

collapse. It is crucial for you to find some time just to do things that

give you pleasure.

again, welcome.... wendy in canada wb5@...

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[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for your response, it has brought tears to my eyes.. you

know what it is like!

My son has a wonderful heart, I saw it many many times and I wonder were it

has gone, I only hope it's not gone for good.

[Guest guest]

Two days a week is a lot! How is she able to keep up at school? Isn't Dr.

recommending an alternative med?

Diane (, 7, pauci in remission, iritis)

[Guest guest]

I'm glad the tummy problems are better. I know she's had a tough time

tolerating the methotrexate. It sounds like some more adjustments need to be

made

though. How rough for her to be feeling bad that often. Good for her (and

you) though to keep up and do so well in school despite it all!

Diane (, 7, pauci in remission, iritis)

[Guest guest]

I hope that by now you have gotten Aundrea seen and that she is feeling better.

I can't imagine your level of frustration...much less, worry.

I'll be keeping you all in thought and prayer...

and Rob 18 JAS

so frustrated

> Well, I have been trying all day to make an appointment for

> Aundrea

> without any luck. She is still running a temp of 101-

> 102. This is

> the 6th day of that and she also has a constant cough and

> occasional

> headache and night sweats. The longer she is sick the more

> she

> sounds just like my son, alex did last year when he had " walking

> pneumonia " . So I left messages with the peds office this

> morning.

> Noone returned my call. It was their lunch break. I

> call right back

> after lunch and leave a message. No return call.

> Then I get through

> to some answering service. They tell me the doc will call

> right

> back, which didn't happen. So I call the office and low

> and behold a

> human answers the phone and says the doctors only worked til

> noon

> today. I asked for the on-call doc and she said that he

> would only

> see Aundrea if she was Very sick. I told her that she had

> been

> running a fever for 6 days and that I thought it might be

> pneumonia.

> Then she says that I have to take Aundrea to the ER because she

> is to

> sick to bring to them. I ask why they can't just order a

> simple lab

> test or chest x-ray. She again says that she is to sick

> for them to

> care for in their office. I told her that last year when

> my son had

> pneumonia they treated him and ordered those same labs.

> She wouldn't

> budge...just kept saying go to the er. Of course the docs

> are

> probably wanting to close shop and head home for the holidays.

>

> So, now because I am without insurance I will be looking at a

> big ER

> bill instead of a doctor visit. So frustrating. I should have

> taken

> her in before Friday but it took me this long to determine if it

> was

> just a systemic flare, flu, or something that would require an

> antibiotic.

>

> Thanks for letting me have a good vent. I will update later.

>

> sonia (aundrea 12 systemic jra/gerd)

>

>