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Another version. . .

Need the holland story

Does anyone know where i can find the 'Holland " story...the one about

planning a trip to Italy but ending up in Holland???

My daughter needs it for a speech she is giving on DS.

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In a message dated 2/23/2002 11:21:40 PM Central Standard Time,

l.emileane@... writes:

> I thought I would receive many replies to my request for a copy of the poem

> Welcome to Holland.....instead, not a one....anyone know where I can get a

> copy???

Ooooh I am sorry, thought a bunch of folks would fill your mailbox up lol

check at

<A HREF= " http://www.nas.com/downsyn/holland.html " >Down Syndrome: Welcome to

Holland</A>

Found the link at Lens site :)

Kathy mom to Sara 10

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Thought for sure someone else would send this! Since they didn't I cut and

pasted it for you!

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability

- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand

it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip -

to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The

Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some

handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags

and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in

and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

" Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm

supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy. "

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and

there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting,

filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different

place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new

language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have

met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than

Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you

look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and

Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all

bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your

life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had

planned. "

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of

that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy,

you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ...

about Holland.

Welcome to Holland

I thought I would receive many replies to my request for a copy of the poem

Welcome to Holland.....instead, not a one....anyone know where I can get a

copy???

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Kathy, I think that's what we ALL thought!! :-)

Karla in Texas

b4alltoday@... wrote:

> In a message dated 2/23/2002 11:21:40 PM Central Standard Time,

> l.emileane@... writes:

>

> > I thought I would receive many replies to my request for a copy of the poem

> > Welcome to Holland.....instead, not a one....anyone know where I can get a

> > copy???

>

>

>

> Ooooh I am sorry, thought a bunch of folks would fill your mailbox up lol

> check at

> <A HREF= " http://www.nas.com/downsyn/holland.html " >Down Syndrome: Welcome to

Holland</A>

>

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  • 4 months later...
Guest guest

Perl Kingsley is the author and she does have this copyrighted. If anyone

wants to use this in newsletters, etc., write to at EPKingsley@....

would be more than happy to give permission.

Welcome to Holland

I thought I would type this up, esp for the new mumswho have no idea

what I was talking about with my trip to Holland :)

Welcome to Holland.

When you're going to have a baby,it's like planning a trip to

Italy.You're all excited.You get a whole bunch of guidebooks,you

learn new phrases in Italian, and then comes time to pack your bags

and head for the airport-for Italy.

Only, when you land, the stewardess says " Welcome to

Holland. " Youlook at one another in disbelief and shock,

saying " Holland?What are you talking about?I just signed up for

Italy! " But they explain there has been a change of plans and you

have landed in Hollnad,and there you must stay. " But I don't know

anything about Holand.I don'want to stay " you say. But you do stay.

You go out and buy a new guide books, you learn some new phrases and

you meet people you never knew existed. The importamt thing is you

are not in a filthy, plague-infested slum. You are simply in a

different place than you planned.Its slower paced than Italy,less

flashy than Italy.But after you have been there a little while and

you've had a chance to catch your breath you begin to discover that

Holland has windmills:Holland has tulips:Holland has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is coming and going fromItaly.They're bragging

about what a great time they had there and for the rest of your life,

you will say: " Yes,that's what I planned " .

The pain of that will never go away.You have to accept that

pain,because of the loss of a dream.The loss of that plan is a

significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that

you didn't get to Italy,you will never be free to enjoy the very

special,the very lovely things about Holland.

Have a great weekend guys and a great 4th of July-Dont party too

hard :)

Aussie Leis

Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for

messages to go to the sender of the message.

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Guest guest

Thanks CIndy.....sorry guys,,.........it didnt have the author on the

bottom of the page-I will put it on right now :) Sorry again

Leis

S Casten wrote:

> Perl Kingsley is the author and she does have this copyrighted.

> If anyone wants to use this in newsletters, etc., write to at

> EPKingsley@... <mailto:EPKingsley@...> . would be more

> than happy to give permission.

>

>

>

>

>

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  • 2 years later...

There are so many wonderful poems and pros out with regard to our special

children and I think that I may have a copy of most of them. Has anyone ever

seen a bound copy of these anywhere? I try to collect as many as can be found

and put them into a notebook of sorts for new families who we meet but it would

be nice of there was a book available.......I wondered once about making such

a book with agreement of course from the authors of the poems and putting them

with actual photos of the children in our support group along with a personal

message from the parents/siblings of each child shown in the photos. Is

there such a thing that out yet? God Bless, GW

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There are so many wonderful poems and pros out with regard to our special

children and I think that I may have a copy of most of them. Has anyone ever

seen a bound copy of these anywhere? I try to collect as many as can be found

and put them into a notebook of sorts for new families who we meet but it would

be nice of there was a book available.......I wondered once about making such

a book with agreement of course from the authors of the poems and putting them

with actual photos of the children in our support group along with a personal

message from the parents/siblings of each child shown in the photos. Is

there such a thing that out yet? God Bless, GW

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What a great idea! Anything positive to give to new parents is terrific.

My personal experience was horrible--an outdated book that had a chapter on

institutionalization.

Donna

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What a great idea! Anything positive to give to new parents is terrific.

My personal experience was horrible--an outdated book that had a chapter on

institutionalization.

Donna

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  • 1 year later...
Guest guest

It seems like a good time to resend this, with so many new parents and so

many anniversaries.

Liz (, 14)

Welcome to Holland

By: Perl Kingsley

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation

trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful

plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You may

learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your

bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess

comes in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

" Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm

supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy. "

But there's been a change in flight plan. They've landed in Holland and

there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,

disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just

a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new

language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never

met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than

Italy. But after you've been there for a while you catch your breath, you

look around. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. and Holland

has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy. and they're all

bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of

your life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what

I had planned. "

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away. because the loss of

that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But. if you spend you life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy,

you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things.

about Holland.

Follow up to Welcome to Holland by , Parent Advocate

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had

time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different

than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I

remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger - the pain and uncertainty. In

those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland

was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this

unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a

journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I

slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had

changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one

another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were

seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many

have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new

land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad. I

think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a

land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support

newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life

would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned.

Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have

learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still

do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest.

And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but

this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways

too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable

beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where

you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you

see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any

land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am

thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

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Guest guest

Hi Georgina,

Thank you. Tell Kayla the dress is from Macy's if she's looking for

something. They have several in similar styles. I was hesitant to let her

get a strapless dress, but she wears junior sizes and the dresses with

straps were sooooo revealing!

Did you read the follow up to Welcome to Holland? That's the part that

really hits home with me these days. We're hitting our 12th anniversary of

this disease this summer and still don't have all the answers. But, as it

says, we've made so many friends along the way, friends we'd never have met

if it weren't for this JA journey. I guess that's part of looking at the

positive side of all of this. Another positive is what said to me

recently~~~ " Mom, with arthritis, alopecia and now psoriasis, life sure

hasn't been easy sometimes. But I don't think I'd change anything because

learning to deal with all of this and getting involved has helped make me

the person I am today. " Wise words from a 14 year old!

How is Josh?

Liz

_____

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

Of Georgina

Sent: Sunday, June 18, 2006 4:55 PM

Subject: Re: Welcome to Holland

Hi Liz,

Thanks for re-posting this. It does seem like the perfect time, especially

for all of our new folks. I still remember the first time someone emailed it

to me, from the Still's list. I appreciate the message just as much now but

.... it no longer reduces me to tears :) I think that shows that I'm

understanding it better, these days.

The photo you posted of in the group's album is amazing. Thanks for

sharing. She is such a beautiful young woman, with a very warm smile and a

sparkle in her eyes. Kayla just loved her dress!

Have a great weekend,

Georgina

Welcome to Holland

It seems like a good time to resend this, with so many new parents and so

many anniversaries.

Liz (, 14)

Welcome to Holland

By: Perl Kingsley

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation

trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful

plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You may

learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your

bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess

comes in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

" Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm

supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy. "

But there's been a change in flight plan. They've landed in Holland and

there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,

disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just

a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new

language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never

met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than

Italy. But after you've been there for a while you catch your breath, you

look around. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. and Holland

has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy. and they're all

bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of

your life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what

I had planned. "

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away. because the loss of

that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But. if you spend you life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy,

you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things.

about Holland.

Follow up to Welcome to Holland by , Parent Advocate

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had

time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different

than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I

remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger - the pain and uncertainty. In

those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland

was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this

unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a

journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I

slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had

changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one

another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were

seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many

have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new

land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad. I

think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a

land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support

newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life

would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned.

Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have

learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still

do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest.

And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but

this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways

too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable

beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where

you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you

see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any

land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am

thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

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Guest guest

-yes Liz,

That was good to read again. I had not seen the 2nd part before soit

was new to me, but oh so true.

Thank you

hugs Helen and (8,systemic)

-- In , " Georgina " <gmckin11@...> wrote:

>

> Hi Liz,

>

> Thanks for re-posting this. It does seem like the perfect time,

especially for all of our new folks. I still remember the first time

someone emailed it to me, from the Still's list. I appreciate the

message just as much now but ... it no longer reduces me to tears :)

I think that shows that I'm understanding it better, these days.

>

> The photo you posted of in the group's album is amazing.

Thanks for sharing. She is such a beautiful young woman, with a very

warm smile and a sparkle in her eyes. Kayla just loved her dress!

>

> Have a great weekend,

> Georgina

>

>

> Welcome to Holland

>

>

> It seems like a good time to resend this, with so many new

parents and so

> many anniversaries.

>

> Liz (, 14)

>

> Welcome to Holland

>

> By: Perl Kingsley

>

> When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous

vacation

> trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your

wonderful

> plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The gondolas in

Venice. You may

> learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

>

> After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You

pack your

> bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The

stewardess

> comes in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

>

> " Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed up

for Italy! I'm

> supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to

Italy. "

>

> But there's been a change in flight plan. They've landed in

Holland and

> there you must stay.

>

> The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,

> disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and

disease. It's just

> a different place.

>

> So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a

whole new

> language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you

would have never

> met.

>

> It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less

flashy than

> Italy. But after you've been there for a while you catch your

breath, you

> look around. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills.

and Holland

> has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

>

> But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy. and

they're all

> bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the

rest of

> your life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go.

That's what

> I had planned. "

>

> And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away. because the

loss of

> that dream is a very, very significant loss.

>

> But. if you spend you life mourning the fact that you didn't get

to Italy,

> you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely

things.

> about Holland.

>

> Follow up to Welcome to Holland by , Parent Advocate

>

> I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become

home. I have had

> time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept

something different

> than I'd planned.

>

> I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in

Holland. I

> remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger - the pain and

uncertainty. In

> those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned,

but Holland

> was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on

this

> unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too

has been a

> journey of time.

>

> I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language

and I

> slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others

whose plans had

> changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We

supported one

> another and some have become very special friends.

>

> Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I

and were

> seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have

encouraged me. Many

> have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold

in this new

> land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so

bad. I

> think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew

to become a

> land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to

support

> newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've

wondered what life

> would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned.

>

> Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding?

Would I have

> learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

>

> Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I

would (and still

> do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest.

>

> And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy

than Italy, but

> this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow

down in ways

> too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the

remarkable

> beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

>

> I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

>

> I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't

matter where

> you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey

and how you

> see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that

Holland, or any

> land, has to offer.

>

> Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet

I am

> thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have

imagined!

>

>

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  • 6 months later...

A repost for all the families with newly diagnosed kids.

________________________________

Welcome to Holland

By: Perl Kingsley

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation

trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful

plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You

may

learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack

your

bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The

stewardess

comes in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

" Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy!

I'm

supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy. "

But there's been a change in flight plan. They've landed in Holland and

there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,

disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's

just

a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole

new

language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have

never

met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy

than

Italy. But after you've been there for a while you catch your breath,

you

look around. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. and

Holland

has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy. and they're

all

bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of

your life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's

what

I had planned. "

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away. because the loss of

that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But. if you spend you life mourning the fact that you didn't get to

Italy,

you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things.

about Holland.

Follow up to Welcome to Holland by , Parent Advocate

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have

had

time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something

different

than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in

Holland. I

remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger - the pain and uncertainty.

In

those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but

Holland

was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this

unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been

a

journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I

slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans

had

changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one

another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and

were

seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me.

Many

have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this

new

land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad. I

think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to

become a

land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support

newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what

life

would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned.

Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I

have

learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and

still

do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest.

And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy,

but

this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in

ways

too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the

remarkable

beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter

where

you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how

you

see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or

any

land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am

thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have

imagined!

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Share on other sites

  • 11 months later...

Every once in a while when we have an influx of new people, I think it's

a good idea to repost this. Some of us find it a comfort. Michele

________________________________

From: [mailto: ] On

Behalf Of liz smith

Sent: Sunday, June 18, 2006 3:28 PM

Subject: Welcome to Holland

It seems like a good time to resend this, with so many new parents and

so

many anniversaries.

Liz (, 14)

Welcome to Holland

By: Perl Kingsley

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation

trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful

plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You

may

learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack

your

bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The

stewardess

comes in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

" Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy!

I'm

supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy. "

But there's been a change in flight plan. They've landed in Holland and

there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,

disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's

just

a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole

new

language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have

never

met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy

than

Italy. But after you've been there for a while you catch your breath,

you

look around. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. and

Holland

has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy. and they're

all

bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of

your life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's

what

I had planned. "

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away. because the loss of

that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But. if you spend you life mourning the fact that you didn't get to

Italy,

you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things.

about Holland.

Follow up to Welcome to Holland by , Parent Advocate

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have

had

time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something

different

than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in

Holland. I

remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger - the pain and uncertainty.

In

those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but

Holland

was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this

unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been

a

journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I

slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans

had

changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one

another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and

were

seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me.

Many

have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this

new

land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad. I

think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to

become a

land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support

newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what

life

would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned.

Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I

have

learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and

still

do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest.

And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy,

but

this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in

ways

too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the

remarkable

beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter

where

you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how

you

see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or

any

land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am

thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have

imagined!

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  • 1 year later...

I have had this on my refrigerator for over 8 years. It does help me to read it every now and again. it really helped when Ricky was first diagnosed 8 years ago. (thinks....has it been that long).

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I have had this on my refrigerator for over 8 years. It does help me to read it every now and again. it really helped when Ricky was first diagnosed 8 years ago. (thinks....has it been that long).

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This was originally written about having a child with MR, but has been used by

parents of kids with all dx.

>

> This was e0mailed to me from other group I am one and thought I would share

>

> Welcome to Holland

>

> I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a

disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to

understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

>

>

> When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip

- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The

Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some

handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

>

> After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your

bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes

in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

> " Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm

supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy. "

>

> But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and

there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a

horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's

just a different place.

>

> So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new

language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have

met.

> It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than

Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you

look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and

Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

>

> But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all

bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your

life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had

planned. "

>

> And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss

of that dream is a very very significant loss.

> But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy,

you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ...

about Holland.

>

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HOLLAND SCHMOLLAND

written by Kreuger Crawford ~ whose son has autism ~ essay discusses her feelings on her trip to "Holland"

"When I read that, my son was almost three, completely non-verbal and was hitting me over a hundred times a day. While I appreciated the intention of the story, I couldn't help but think, Are they kidding? We are not in some peaceful countryside dotted with windmills. We are in a country under siege -- dodging bombs, trying to board overloaded helicopters, bribing officials -- all the while thinking, What happened to our beautiful life? That was 5 years ago. My son is now 8 and though we have come to accept that he will always have autism, we no longer feel like citizens of a battle torn nation. WITH the help of countless dedicated therapists and teachers, biological interventions, and an enormously supportive family, my son has become a fun-loving, affectionate boy with many endearing qualities and skills. In the process we've created, well, our own country, with its own unique traditions and customs. It's not a war zone, but it s still not Holland. Let's call it Schmolland. In Schmolland, it is perfectly customary to lick walls, rub cold pieces of metal across your mouth and line up all your toys end to end. You can show affection by giving a "pointy chin." A "pointy chin " is when you act like you are going to hug someone and just when you are really close, you jam your chin into the other persons shoulder. For the person giving the "pointy chin" this feels really good, for the receiver not so much, but you get used to it. For citizens of Schmolland, it is quite normal to repeat lines from videos to express emotion. If you are sad, you can look downcast and say "Oh Pongo." When mad or anxious, you might shout, "Snow can't stop me!" or "Duchess, kittens, come on!" Sometimes, "And now our feature presentation" says it all. In Schmolland, there's not a lot to do, so our citizens find amusement wherever they can. Bouncing on the couch for hours, methodically pulling feathers out of down pillows, and laughing hysterically in bed at 4:00am, are all traditional Schmutch pastimes. The hard part about living in our country is dealing with people from other countries. We try to assimilate ourselves and mimic their customs, but we aren't always successful. It's perfectly understandable that an 8-year-old boy from Schmolland would steal a train from a toddler at the the Tank Engine Train Table at and Noble. But this is clearly not understandable or acceptable in other countries, and so we must drag our 8 year old out of the store kicking and screaming while all the customers look on with stark, pitying stares. But we ignore these looks and focus on the exit sign because we are a proud people. Where we live, it is not surprising when an 8-year-old boy reaches for the fleshy part of a woman's upper torso and says, Do we touch boodoo? We simply say, "No we don't touch boodoo" and go on about our business. It's a bit more startling in other countries, however, and can cause all sorts of cross-cultural misunderstandings. And, though most foreigners can get a drop of water on their pants and still carry on, this is intolerable to certain citizens in Schmolland who insist that the pants must come off no matter where they are, regardless of whether another pair of pants are present. Other families who are affected by autism are familiar and comforting to us, yet are still separate entities. Together we make up a federation of countries, kind of like Scandinavia. Like a person from Denmark talking with a person from Norway, (or in our case someone from Schmenmark talking with someone from Schmorway), we share enough similarities in our language and customs to understand each other, but conversations inevitably highlight the diversity of our traditions. Oh your child is a runner? Mine won t go to the bathroom without asking permission. "My child eats paper. Yesterday he ate a whole video box." "My daughter only eats 4 foods, all of them white." "My son wants to blow on everyone." "My son can't stand to hear the word no. We can't use any negatives at all in our house." "We finally had to lock up the VCR because my son was obsessed with the rewind button." There is one thing we all agree on: we are a growing population. 10 years ago, 1 in 10,000 children had autism. Today the rate is approximately 1 in 250. Something is dreadfully wrong. Though the causes of the increase are still being hotly debated, a number of parents and professionals believe genetic pre-disposition has collided with too many environment insults -- toxins, chemicals, antibiotics, and vaccines -- to create immunological chaos in the nervous systems of developing children. One medical journalist speculated that these children are like the proverbial canary in the coal mine here to alert us to the growing dangers in our environment. While this is certainly not a view shared by all in the autism community, it feels true to me. I hope that researchers discover the magic bullet we all so desperately crave. And I will never stop investigating new treatments and therapies that might help my son. But more and more my priorities are shifting from what could be to what is. I look around at this country my family has created, with all its unique customs, and it feels like home. For us, any time spent "nation-building" is time well spent."

From: karenrichard2000 <karenrichard2000@...>Subject: Re: Welcome to Hollandautism Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 10:37 PM

This was originally written about having a child with MR, but has been used by parents of kids with all dx.>> This was e0mailed to me from other group I am one and thought I would share> > Welcome to Holland> > I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... > > > When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum.

The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. > > After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." > "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." > > But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. > > So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. > It's just a different

place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... .and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. > > But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." > > And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. > But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.>

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HOLLAND SCHMOLLAND

written by Kreuger Crawford ~ whose son has autism ~ essay discusses her feelings on her trip to "Holland"

"When I read that, my son was almost three, completely non-verbal and was hitting me over a hundred times a day. While I appreciated the intention of the story, I couldn't help but think, Are they kidding? We are not in some peaceful countryside dotted with windmills. We are in a country under siege -- dodging bombs, trying to board overloaded helicopters, bribing officials -- all the while thinking, What happened to our beautiful life? That was 5 years ago. My son is now 8 and though we have come to accept that he will always have autism, we no longer feel like citizens of a battle torn nation. WITH the help of countless dedicated therapists and teachers, biological interventions, and an enormously supportive family, my son has become a fun-loving, affectionate boy with many endearing qualities and skills. In the process we've created, well, our own country, with its own unique traditions and customs. It's not a war zone, but it s still not Holland. Let's call it Schmolland. In Schmolland, it is perfectly customary to lick walls, rub cold pieces of metal across your mouth and line up all your toys end to end. You can show affection by giving a "pointy chin." A "pointy chin " is when you act like you are going to hug someone and just when you are really close, you jam your chin into the other persons shoulder. For the person giving the "pointy chin" this feels really good, for the receiver not so much, but you get used to it. For citizens of Schmolland, it is quite normal to repeat lines from videos to express emotion. If you are sad, you can look downcast and say "Oh Pongo." When mad or anxious, you might shout, "Snow can't stop me!" or "Duchess, kittens, come on!" Sometimes, "And now our feature presentation" says it all. In Schmolland, there's not a lot to do, so our citizens find amusement wherever they can. Bouncing on the couch for hours, methodically pulling feathers out of down pillows, and laughing hysterically in bed at 4:00am, are all traditional Schmutch pastimes. The hard part about living in our country is dealing with people from other countries. We try to assimilate ourselves and mimic their customs, but we aren't always successful. It's perfectly understandable that an 8-year-old boy from Schmolland would steal a train from a toddler at the the Tank Engine Train Table at and Noble. But this is clearly not understandable or acceptable in other countries, and so we must drag our 8 year old out of the store kicking and screaming while all the customers look on with stark, pitying stares. But we ignore these looks and focus on the exit sign because we are a proud people. Where we live, it is not surprising when an 8-year-old boy reaches for the fleshy part of a woman's upper torso and says, Do we touch boodoo? We simply say, "No we don't touch boodoo" and go on about our business. It's a bit more startling in other countries, however, and can cause all sorts of cross-cultural misunderstandings. And, though most foreigners can get a drop of water on their pants and still carry on, this is intolerable to certain citizens in Schmolland who insist that the pants must come off no matter where they are, regardless of whether another pair of pants are present. Other families who are affected by autism are familiar and comforting to us, yet are still separate entities. Together we make up a federation of countries, kind of like Scandinavia. Like a person from Denmark talking with a person from Norway, (or in our case someone from Schmenmark talking with someone from Schmorway), we share enough similarities in our language and customs to understand each other, but conversations inevitably highlight the diversity of our traditions. Oh your child is a runner? Mine won t go to the bathroom without asking permission. "My child eats paper. Yesterday he ate a whole video box." "My daughter only eats 4 foods, all of them white." "My son wants to blow on everyone." "My son can't stand to hear the word no. We can't use any negatives at all in our house." "We finally had to lock up the VCR because my son was obsessed with the rewind button." There is one thing we all agree on: we are a growing population. 10 years ago, 1 in 10,000 children had autism. Today the rate is approximately 1 in 250. Something is dreadfully wrong. Though the causes of the increase are still being hotly debated, a number of parents and professionals believe genetic pre-disposition has collided with too many environment insults -- toxins, chemicals, antibiotics, and vaccines -- to create immunological chaos in the nervous systems of developing children. One medical journalist speculated that these children are like the proverbial canary in the coal mine here to alert us to the growing dangers in our environment. While this is certainly not a view shared by all in the autism community, it feels true to me. I hope that researchers discover the magic bullet we all so desperately crave. And I will never stop investigating new treatments and therapies that might help my son. But more and more my priorities are shifting from what could be to what is. I look around at this country my family has created, with all its unique customs, and it feels like home. For us, any time spent "nation-building" is time well spent."

From: karenrichard2000 <karenrichard2000@...>Subject: Re: Welcome to Hollandautism Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 10:37 PM

This was originally written about having a child with MR, but has been used by parents of kids with all dx.>> This was e0mailed to me from other group I am one and thought I would share> > Welcome to Holland> > I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... > > > When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum.

The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. > > After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." > "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." > > But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. > > So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. > It's just a different

place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... .and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. > > But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." > > And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. > But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.>

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Dear

What

a wonderful, wonderful story, and what a mentally resourceful parent you are!

My

8-year old daughter comes from Scandinavia, Schmenmark, where we show affection

& trust by leaning against the back of each other in our sleep, where old

black and white Danish children’s movies are a favorite pastime all

weekend long, and screaming is a natural voice tone with repetitive phrases

like ‘I don´t want to talk’, ‘leave me alone’, our

favourite clothes is ‘bare’, and if anything annoys us we kick, hit

and throw things. Still, your world sounds so familiar J

Thanks!

Hanne

From: autism

[mailto:autism ] On Behalf Of mark lohan

Sent: 30. september 2009 14:53

autism

Subject: Re: Re: Welcome to Holland

HOLLAND SCHMOLLAND

written by

Kreuger Crawford ~ whose son has autism ~ essay discusses her feelings on her

trip to " Holland "

" When I read

that, my son was almost three, completely non-verbal and was hitting me over

a hundred times a day. While I appreciated the intention of the story, I

couldn't help but think, Are they kidding? We are not in some peaceful

countryside dotted with windmills. We are in a country under siege -- dodging

bombs, trying to board overloaded helicopters, bribing officials -- all the

while thinking, What happened to our

beautiful life?

That was 5 years ago.

My son is now 8 and though we have come to accept that he will always have

autism, we no longer feel like citizens of a battle torn nation. WITH the

help of countless dedicated therapists and teachers, biological

interventions, and an enormously supportive family, my son has become a

fun-loving, affectionate boy with many endearing qualities and skills. In the

process we've created, well, our own country, with its own unique traditions

and customs.

It's not a war zone,

but it s still not Holland. Let's call it Schmolland. In Schmolland, it is

perfectly customary to lick walls, rub cold pieces of metal across your mouth

and line up all your toys end to end. You can show affection by giving a " pointy

chin. " A " pointy chin " is when you act like you are going to

hug someone and just when you are really close, you jam your chin into the

other persons shoulder. For the person giving the " pointy chin "

this feels really good, for the receiver not so much, but you get used to it.

For citizens of

Schmolland, it is quite normal to repeat lines from videos to express

emotion. If you are sad, you can look downcast and say " Oh Pongo. "

When mad or anxious, you might shout, " Snow can't stop me! " or

" Duchess, kittens, come on! " Sometimes, " And now our feature

presentation " says it all.

In Schmolland,

there's not a lot to do, so our citizens find amusement wherever they can.

Bouncing on the couch for hours, methodically pulling feathers out of down

pillows, and laughing hysterically in bed at 4:00am, are all traditional

Schmutch pastimes.

The hard part about

living in our country is dealing with people from other countries. We try to

assimilate ourselves and mimic their customs, but we aren't always successful.

It's perfectly understandable that an 8-year-old boy from Schmolland would

steal a train from a toddler at the the Tank Engine Train Table at

and Noble. But this is clearly not understandable or acceptable in

other countries, and so we must drag our 8 year old out of the store kicking

and screaming while all the customers look on with stark, pitying stares. But

we ignore these looks and focus on the exit sign because we are a proud

people.

Where we live, it is

not surprising when an 8-year-old boy reaches for the fleshy part of a

woman's upper torso and says, Do we touch boodoo? We simply say, " No we

don't touch boodoo " and go on about our business.

It's a bit more

startling in other countries, however, and can cause all sorts of cross-cultural

misunderstandings.

And, though most

foreigners can get a drop of water on their pants and still carry on, this is

intolerable to certain citizens in Schmolland who insist that the pants must

come off no matter where they are, regardless of whether another pair of

pants are present.

Other families who

are affected by autism are familiar and comforting to us, yet are still

separate entities. Together we make up a federation of countries, kind of

like Scandinavia. Like a person from Denmark talking with a person from

Norway, (or in our case someone from Schmenmark talking with someone from

Schmorway), we share enough similarities in our language and customs to

understand each other, but conversations

inevitably highlight the diversity of our traditions. Oh your child is a

runner? Mine won t go to the bathroom without asking permission. " My

child eats paper. Yesterday he ate a whole video box. " " My daughter

only eats 4 foods, all of them white. " " My son wants to blow on

everyone. " " My son can't stand to hear the word no. We can't use

any negatives at all in our house. " " We finally had to lock up the

VCR because my son was obsessed with the rewind button. "

There is one thing we

all agree on: we are a growing population. 10 years ago, 1 in 10,000 children

had autism. Today the rate is approximately 1 in 250. Something is dreadfully

wrong. Though the causes of the increase are still being hotly debated, a

number of parents and professionals believe genetic pre-disposition has

collided with too many environment insults -- toxins, chemicals, antibiotics,

and vaccines -- to create immunological chaos in the nervous systems of

developing children. One medical journalist speculated that these children

are like the proverbial canary in the coal mine here to alert us to the

growing dangers in our environment. While this is certainly not a view shared

by all in the autism community, it feels true to me.

I hope that researchers discover the magic

bullet we all so desperately crave. And I will never stop investigating new

treatments and therapies that might help my son. But more and more my

priorities are shifting from what could be to what is. I look around at this

country my family has created, with all its unique customs, and it feels like

home. For us, any time spent " nation-building " is time well

spent. "

From: karenrichard2000 <karenrichard2000@...>

Subject: Re: Welcome to Holland

autism

Date: Sunday, September 27, 2009, 10:37 PM

This was originally written

about having a child with MR, but has been used by parents of kids with all

dx.

>

> This was e0mailed to me from other group I am one and thought I would

share

>

> Welcome to Holland

>

> I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a

disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience

to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

>

>

> When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation

trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful

plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo . The gondolas in Venice. You may

learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

>

> After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack

your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The

stewardess comes in and says, " Welcome to Holland. "

> " Holland?!? " you say. " What do you mean Holland?? I

signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of

going to Italy. "

>

> But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland

and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you

to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and

disease. It's just a different place.

>

> So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole

new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never

have met.

> It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy

than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your

breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has

windmills... .and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

>

> But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're

all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of

your life, you will say " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's

what I had planned. "

>

> And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the

loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

> But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to

Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely

things ... about Holland.

>

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