havin' a rough day...

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry for your rough time. I DO know how you feel.....I am 36 and

had JRA since I was 3 - so those days when friends think your 'Faking it " - I

have had those too. Daily life (bathing, brushing hair, getting dressed) is

SO much harder than some people realize - by the rime we have done all that we

are ready for bed somedays - and " normal " friends do stuff like that out of

habit with no thought at all.

I was lucky - I had my " BEST " friend in the whole world and she did

understand. She took the time to make sure I led a normal young adult life -

she took

me to ballgames, concerts, etc - she made sure I had a social life. I never

dated in high school - but as lucky enough to find the man of my dreams (Greg)

right under my nose...I had known him since elementary school. We have been

married 16 yrs and have a 5 yr old daughter. IT CAN all work out. It is

worth waiting for the guy who WILL understand , and there ARE some of them out

there.

Arthritis may have your body but it can never have your mind and your soul.

Bad days (weeks, months) just help us to appreciate the good ones.

I will be praying for you to be happy, pain free, and out of this flare.

Stay strong!!!!!

love, prayers and blessings,

(poly)

[Guest guest]

I'm havin' a bit of a rough day. My " friends " know I have JRA, even

though I've explained to them what it is and what it does.. they

still treat me like I have something they can catch when I have a

flare up, or like I'm faking it and just tryin to get out of

something. It's so hard becuase I except EVERY SINGLE one of their

disabilities and illnesses, or things that makes them " not like most

people. " It's just hard that they can't do the same for me. They

all veiw arthritis as an " old people's disease " and it drives me

crazy! I wish just for once that they'd accept me as a FULL person..

JRA and ALL!!!!My illnesses are just a PART of who I am.. not the

full person!!!! Some of them act like they are better than me

becuase they don't have JRA..that just makes me feel worse.

Especially on my really bad days when I have to suck up my pride and

ask my mom to help me brush my hair, or to help me get dressed. That

is so humiliating for me, and they have NO idea what that's like to

HAVE to ask your mother to do things like that for you at the age of

22!! They don't stop to think what all it takes for me to even get up

in the morning, or to even TAKE A SHOWER!!! I try to never complain

thinking that it would help them to deal with my JRA.. but yea right.

they all still look at me like I'm a circus freak. Guys won't date

me becuase they say I have " to much drama in my life " becuase of all

my illnesses, like somehow I WANT all this in my life! I try to stay

positive, but it's VERY hard some days! Days like today I just wanna

give up and just stop tryin to have a " normal life " . I mean the docs

want me to give up and go in the hospital so they can use me as a

case study anyway. I " m sorry I " m dumping all this out.. I've just

had a VERY bad few months. It's all coming to a head. Thanks for

letting me vent!! If you pray, please pray that God will pull me

through this dark time.. like He has the past ones. I know it'll all

work out, I just have to keep my faith in God. It's just gonna take

time.

~God Bless~

[Guest guest]

,

My heart broke when I was reading your post. I always wonder about Sophie's

future and the role that JRA will play. It would be naive of me to think

she and the disease will always accepted with open arms. It is just tough

to imagine her in your place and having to not only heal physically but also

emotionally. Hopefully, this terrible day that you're having will pass

quickly and a brighter day will follow. In the meantime, know that you are

in my thoughts.

Please forgive me for saying this but it sounds like your " friends " could

use a good, swift kick to the rump!

Weber

Professional Mom to:

Sophie - 4 - pauci/panuveitis

Charlie - 30 weeks - high maintenance but oh-so-loveable

On 2/21/06, showingchristslove <TXcowgirl4God@...> wrote:

>

> I'm havin' a bit of a rough day. My " friends " know I have JRA, even

> though I've explained to them what it is and what it does.. they

> still treat me like I have something they can catch when I have a

> flare up, or like I'm faking it and just tryin to get out of

> something. It's so hard becuase I except EVERY SINGLE one of their

> disabilities and illnesses, or things that makes them " not like most

> people. " It's just hard that they can't do the same for me. They

> all veiw arthritis as an " old people's disease " and it drives me

> crazy! I wish just for once that they'd accept me as a FULL person..

> JRA and ALL!!!!My illnesses are just a PART of who I am.. not the

> full person!!!! Some of them act like they are better than me

> becuase they don't have JRA..that just makes me feel worse.

> Especially on my really bad days when I have to suck up my pride and

> ask my mom to help me brush my hair, or to help me get dressed. That

> is so humiliating for me, and they have NO idea what that's like to

> HAVE to ask your mother to do things like that for you at the age of

> 22!! They don't stop to think what all it takes for me to even get up

> in the morning, or to even TAKE A SHOWER!!! I try to never complain

> thinking that it would help them to deal with my JRA.. but yea right.

> they all still look at me like I'm a circus freak. Guys won't date

> me becuase they say I have " to much drama in my life " becuase of all

> my illnesses, like somehow I WANT all this in my life! I try to stay

> positive, but it's VERY hard some days! Days like today I just wanna

> give up and just stop tryin to have a " normal life " . I mean the docs

> want me to give up and go in the hospital so they can use me as a

> case study anyway. I " m sorry I " m dumping all this out.. I've just

> had a VERY bad few months. It's all coming to a head. Thanks for

> letting me vent!! If you pray, please pray that God will pull me

> through this dark time.. like He has the past ones. I know it'll all

> work out, I just have to keep my faith in God. It's just gonna take

> time.

>

> ~God Bless~

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, I would also recommend you check into attending the American

Juvenile Arthritis Organization National Conference 2006 to be held in Atlanta,

GA July 13-16. I know I will be backed up on this suggestion because so many

here have been and can relay the benefits to you.

Donna

[Guest guest]

,

I have been praying for you this morning. I was so moved by your

letter and felt your sadness and frustration.

During my prayer time God gave me these words that I wanted to share

with you.

" Blessed are you when they persecute you, for My sake.

Rejoice...for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted

the prophets who were before you.

The Lord will fight for you and you shall hold your peace. In

quietness and confidence shall be your strength! God has said " my

grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in

weakness.

...you never know exactly how your message will be received

via email...I hope that you just know that there are people on this

group that do understand, that care for you and per your request

will pray for you.

I hope that today will be a much better day!

(Aundrea 10 systemic jra)

> >

> > I'm havin' a bit of a rough day. My " friends " know I have JRA,

even

> > though I've explained to them what it is and what it does.. they

> > still treat me like I have something they can catch when I have a

> > flare up, or like I'm faking it and just tryin to get out of

> > something. It's so hard becuase I except EVERY SINGLE one of

their

> > disabilities and illnesses, or things that makes them " not like

most

> > people. " It's just hard that they can't do the same for me.

They

> > all veiw arthritis as an " old people's disease " and it drives me

> > crazy! I wish just for once that they'd accept me as a FULL

person..

> > JRA and ALL!!!!My illnesses are just a PART of who I am.. not the

> > full person!!!! Some of them act like they are better than me

> > becuase they don't have JRA..that just makes me feel worse.

> > Especially on my really bad days when I have to suck up my pride

and

> > ask my mom to help me brush my hair, or to help me get dressed.

That

> > is so humiliating for me, and they have NO idea what that's like

to

> > HAVE to ask your mother to do things like that for you at the

age of

> > 22!! They don't stop to think what all it takes for me to even

get up

> > in the morning, or to even TAKE A SHOWER!!! I try to never

complain

> > thinking that it would help them to deal with my JRA.. but yea

right.

> > they all still look at me like I'm a circus freak. Guys won't

date

> > me becuase they say I have " to much drama in my life " becuase of

all

> > my illnesses, like somehow I WANT all this in my life! I try to

stay

> > positive, but it's VERY hard some days! Days like today I just

wanna

> > give up and just stop tryin to have a " normal life " . I mean the

docs

> > want me to give up and go in the hospital so they can use me as a

> > case study anyway. I " m sorry I " m dumping all this out.. I've

just

> > had a VERY bad few months. It's all coming to a head. Thanks

for

> > letting me vent!! If you pray, please pray that God will pull me

> > through this dark time.. like He has the past ones. I know

it'll all

> > work out, I just have to keep my faith in God. It's just gonna

take

> > time.

> >

> > ~God Bless~

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

,

I haven't had a chance to visit this board in quite a while and when

I did I found your post. My heart just hurts for you and as a mom I just

want to put my arms around you and let you know their are people that do

understand. My daughter is a pre teen and I often wonder what her life

will be like as she grows older and what part this disease will play.

Like you said , her friends too have a hard time understanding her

limitations and as an adult I see the eye rolls that others give her

when she just cant do what everyone else can do. She already gets the

cute remarks like " isn't Belle special ,she doesn't have to

run laps " or her favorite " I'll take arthritis if I

didn't have to jog a mile " … if they only new ! I wish I had a

way to make all of this go away for you , my daughter and everyone else

, but I can`t . What I can tell you is that you sound like an

amazingly strong young women and though your body fails you at times

your spirit hasn't . Asking for help is not a sign of weakness

it only shows that you simply can not do a task . You are not

defined by the time you spend brushing your own hair or tying that laces

on your shoes … You said you'll just have to have to have faith

in God … THAT is what defines you ! You are a strong woman of faith

and you have been given challenges ~ he knows , he totally knows how

hard this is for you and through him you are given strength. I have a

feeling he will guide you out of this funk if you let him …

Blessings sent,

Teri

>

> I'm havin' a bit of a rough day. My " friends " know I have JRA, even

> though I've explained to them what it is and what it does.. they

> still treat me like I have something they can catch when I have a

> flare up, or like I'm faking it and just tryin to get out of

> something. It's so hard becuase I except EVERY SINGLE one of their

> disabilities and illnesses, or things that makes them " not like most

> people. " It's just hard that they can't do the same for me. They

> all veiw arthritis as an " old people's disease " and it drives me

> crazy! I wish just for once that they'd accept me as a FULL person..

> JRA and ALL!!!!My illnesses are just a PART of who I am.. not the

> full person!!!! Some of them act like they are better than me

> becuase they don't have JRA..that just makes me feel worse.

> Especially on my really bad days when I have to suck up my pride and

> ask my mom to help me brush my hair, or to help me get dressed. That

> is so humiliating for me, and they have NO idea what that's like to

> HAVE to ask your mother to do things like that for you at the age of

> 22!! They don't stop to think what all it takes for me to even get up

> in the morning, or to even TAKE A SHOWER!!! I try to never complain

> thinking that it would help them to deal with my JRA.. but yea right.

> they all still look at me like I'm a circus freak. Guys won't date

> me becuase they say I have " to much drama in my life " becuase of all

> my illnesses, like somehow I WANT all this in my life! I try to stay

> positive, but it's VERY hard some days! Days like today I just wanna

> give up and just stop tryin to have a " normal life " . I mean the docs

> want me to give up and go in the hospital so they can use me as a

> case study anyway. I " m sorry I " m dumping all this out.. I've just

> had a VERY bad few months. It's all coming to a head. Thanks for

> letting me vent!! If you pray, please pray that God will pull me

> through this dark time.. like He has the past ones. I know it'll all

> work out, I just have to keep my faith in God. It's just gonna take

> time.

>

> ~God Bless~

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I am sitting at my computer crying. My daughter is only 8, and she has tried

to tell me how she feels over the past 3 years. Since she is only 8, it's hard

for her to put her feelings into the " right " words. After reading your post, I

realize that is how she feels too, and probally most of the children on this

list feels the same way. My heart breaks for you.

God says in His word that He has a plan for you, a plan to prosper, not harm

you. He must really have something incredible planned for your life. Everyday

when I pray, I tell God that I know that He loves me and has a plan for my life

and since He loves me, I know that it can't be a bad plan. You obviously have a

great, strong faith, hold on to it during your bad days. And know this, you

have a whole new set of friends here that accept you just the way you are.

I'll be praying for you!

Summer mom to Colten 11, Gabi 8 poly, 7

showingchristslove <TXcowgirl4God@...> wrote:

I'm havin' a bit of a rough day. My " friends " know I have JRA, even

though I've explained to them what it is and what it does.. they

still treat me like I have something they can catch when I have a

flare up, or like I'm faking it and just tryin to get out of

something. It's so hard becuase I except EVERY SINGLE one of their

disabilities and illnesses, or things that makes them " not like most

people. " It's just hard that they can't do the same for me. They

all veiw arthritis as an " old people's disease " and it drives me

crazy! I wish just for once that they'd accept me as a FULL person..

JRA and ALL!!!!My illnesses are just a PART of who I am.. not the

full person!!!! Some of them act like they are better than me

becuase they don't have JRA..that just makes me feel worse.

Especially on my really bad days when I have to suck up my pride and

ask my mom to help me brush my hair, or to help me get dressed. That

is so humiliating for me, and they have NO idea what that's like to

HAVE to ask your mother to do things like that for you at the age of

22!! They don't stop to think what all it takes for me to even get up

in the morning, or to even TAKE A SHOWER!!! I try to never complain

thinking that it would help them to deal with my JRA.. but yea right.

they all still look at me like I'm a circus freak. Guys won't date

me becuase they say I have " to much drama in my life " becuase of all

my illnesses, like somehow I WANT all this in my life! I try to stay

positive, but it's VERY hard some days! Days like today I just wanna

give up and just stop tryin to have a " normal life " . I mean the docs

want me to give up and go in the hospital so they can use me as a

case study anyway. I " m sorry I " m dumping all this out.. I've just

had a VERY bad few months. It's all coming to a head. Thanks for

letting me vent!! If you pray, please pray that God will pull me

through this dark time.. like He has the past ones. I know it'll all

work out, I just have to keep my faith in God. It's just gonna take

time.

~God Bless~

[Guest guest]

Oh I'm so sorry your having such a bad time of things. Maybe your

friends need a blow by you...sometimes they need to have it pounded in their

heads...but you know them better then I do.

There's a guy out there that won't care about the added " DRAMA " and will want to

be with you anyway. He's out there somewhere waiting for you.

Why do the docs want you in the hospital for a case study?

And you know what, that's what mom's are for. I'm sure she enjoys brushing your

hair for you. Most mom's do love that part. When you get older we don't get to

have that pleasure anymore. My girls are to old for me to brush their hair

anymore...I kinda miss that from when they were little..

And you know what else, that's what we are here for is be here for the bad days

so you can release that pain and frustration and for the good days to help you

celebrate. Please don't be sorry that you used us for a bad day. We want to be

here for you most of all on those days.

I will pray for you, that you have some good days soon. You will get thru this.

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day for you.

--

Lorilee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ken 47 {PolyRA}

6 {Systemic JRA, Eczema},

Kayla 15 {Healthy Thank God}

18 {Asthma}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-------------- Original message --------------

From: " showingchristslove " <TXcowgirl4God@...>

I'm havin' a bit of a rough day. My " friends " know I have JRA, even

though I've explained to them what it is and what it does.. they

still treat me like I have something they can catch when I have a

flare up, or like I'm faking it and just tryin to get out of

something. It's so hard becuase I except EVERY SINGLE one of their

disabilities and illnesses, or things that makes them " not like most

people. " It's just hard that they can't do the same for me. They

all veiw arthritis as an " old people's disease " and it drives me

crazy! I wish just for once that they'd accept me as a FULL person..

JRA and ALL!!!!My illnesses are just a PART of who I am.. not the

full person!!!! Some of them act like they are better than me

becuase they don't have JRA..that just makes me feel worse.

Especially on my really bad days when I have to suck up my pride and

ask my mom to help me brush my hair, or to help me get dressed. That

is so humiliating for me, and they have NO idea what that's like to

HAVE to ask your mother to do things like that for you at the age of

22!! They don't stop to think what all it takes for me to even get up

in the morning, or to even TAKE A SHOWER!!! I try to never complain

thinking that it would help them to deal with my JRA.. but yea right.

they all still look at me like I'm a circus freak. Guys won't date

me becuase they say I have " to much drama in my life " becuase of all

my illnesses, like somehow I WANT all this in my life! I try to stay

positive, but it's VERY hard some days! Days like today I just wanna

give up and just stop tryin to have a " normal life " . I mean the docs

want me to give up and go in the hospital so they can use me as a

case study anyway. I " m sorry I " m dumping all this out.. I've just

had a VERY bad few months. It's all coming to a head. Thanks for

letting me vent!! If you pray, please pray that God will pull me

through this dark time.. like He has the past ones. I know it'll all

work out, I just have to keep my faith in God. It's just gonna take

time.

~God Bless~

[Guest guest]

First I have to say that, 'Arthritis is just Arthritis' and if that was

all you had, then your friends or people in general would be somewhat

correct when they say, " Oh its only arthritis! "

BUT YOU DON'T AND WE DON'T JUST HAVE ARTHRITIS!

Not when is accompanied by the Rheumatoid factor, which takes into a

whole other ballpark! And Juvenile onset tends to compound the severity

of the disease, as it is affecting the developing bodies of its victims.

So it is! that we need to make a stronger voice heard in Washington D.C.

and open the eyes of our legislators on capital hill, to the fact that,

'It is NOT just Arthritis'

Write testimonials and recounting of agonizing pain and suffering that

you live through, as you batted this disease your self, or stand witness

to those you love are enduring this monster of a disease!

In the questionnaire that we have filled out, 'who are you' number 3 was,

" What are you most afraid of? "

Well I will tell you that one of the things I am most afraid of is, the

childhood diagnoses of yet another child with JRA!

Unfortunately this disease, JRA is not romanticized in the media as being

catastrophic as MD, CF, CP, J,DIABETES or Cancer. The general public does

not see it as so, but we who live it know differently.

With this disease if it is not visible by means of noticeable joint

deformity, one might not even suspect you of having it.

The greatest agony for someone is to bare witness to the suffering of,

friend, parent or child and be unable to stop it, take away all the pain

and disease that is causing it.

The dark foreboding uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring, if there is

even to be a, tomorrow.

Yes it is told to us that there is no grantees in life except, that with

life so is death to be a certainty one day. I know this and I accept is

to be, for I have managed to live now for over 50 years, 37 of which with

JRA. I now feel the uneatable fact of death more so now since the heart

attack, providing me with yet, even more daily reminders in the addition

of 5 medications for the heart.

I DON'T want this to be the played out future of any of these children,

rather I WANT TO WATCH as they soar the heavens and scale mountains,

explore the vast depths of the earths, yet unexplored Oceans. To know

that they too can experience the wonder of a 'Grand Slam Home Run' or

cross the finish line ten lengths ahead of all the others. To tie their

own shoe laces or Zip up their own jeans as they dress for school.

A simple task of holding a glass in one hand while drinking milk, with

out the fear of loosing grip and dropping the glass. Pulling on or off

their own shirt, brushing their own teeth or hair.

So please! flood the offices of your Senate and House Reps with letter,

'URGING' them to support the bill S 424.

E-mail are ok, BUT HARD COPY letter add weight, take up space in their

Offices and catch their eye Quicker!

Thank You All,

hplta

A. Morse

[Guest guest]

You have such a way with words. Thank you for this.

--

Lorilee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ken 47 {PolyRA}

6 {Systemic JRA, Eczema},

Kayla 15 {Healthy Thank God}

18 {Asthma}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-------------- Original message --------------

From: A Morse <dam755@...>

First I have to say that, 'Arthritis is just Arthritis' and if that was

all you had, then your friends or people in general would be somewhat

correct when they say, " Oh its only arthritis! "

BUT YOU DON'T AND WE DON'T JUST HAVE ARTHRITIS!

Not when is accompanied by the Rheumatoid factor, which takes into a

whole other ballpark! And Juvenile onset tends to compound the severity

of the disease, as it is affecting the developing bodies of its victims.

So it is! that we need to make a stronger voice heard in Washington D.C.

and open the eyes of our legislators on capital hill, to the fact that,

'It is NOT just Arthritis'

Write testimonials and recounting of agonizing pain and suffering that

you live through, as you batted this disease your self, or stand witness

to those you love are enduring this monster of a disease!

In the questionnaire that we have filled out, 'who are you' number 3 was,

" What are you most afraid of? "

Well I will tell you that one of the things I am most afraid of is, the

childhood diagnoses of yet another child with JRA!

Unfortunately this disease, JRA is not romanticized in the media as being

catastrophic as MD, CF, CP, J,DIABETES or Cancer. The general public does

not see it as so, but we who live it know differently.

With this disease if it is not visible by means of noticeable joint

deformity, one might not even suspect you of having it.

The greatest agony for someone is to bare witness to the suffering of,

friend, parent or child and be unable to stop it, take away all the pain

and disease that is causing it.

The dark foreboding uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring, if there is

even to be a, tomorrow.

Yes it is told to us that there is no grantees in life except, that with

life so is death to be a certainty one day. I know this and I accept is

to be, for I have managed to live now for over 50 years, 37 of which with

JRA. I now feel the uneatable fact of death more so now since the heart

attack, providing me with yet, even more daily reminders in the addition

of 5 medications for the heart.

I DON'T want this to be the played out future of any of these children,

rather I WANT TO WATCH as they soar the heavens and scale mountains,

explore the vast depths of the earths, yet unexplored Oceans. To know

that they too can experience the wonder of a 'Grand Slam Home Run' or

cross the finish line ten lengths ahead of all the others. To tie their

own shoe laces or Zip up their own jeans as they dress for school.

A simple task of holding a glass in one hand while drinking milk, with

out the fear of loosing grip and dropping the glass. Pulling on or off

their own shirt, brushing their own teeth or hair.

So please! flood the offices of your Senate and House Reps with letter,

'URGING' them to support the bill S 424.

E-mail are ok, BUT HARD COPY letter add weight, take up space in their

Offices and catch their eye Quicker!

Thank You All,

hplta

A. Morse

[Guest guest]

,

I am a Mom of a 18 year old. will try and do everything herself.

When she was younger she would holler for me to help her do this and that.

When she was old enough to start cooking I seen it was time for me to make the

kitchen where she could use it and the appliances. I wanted her to be able to

do more as she got to. She has been so fustrated with the old hand can

openers that she slung it. She couldn't tie her shoes so I got velcro shoes.

She

later got the tie up shoes again. She still ask's for help. The reason she

does is because I sat down with her and said to her look honey I don't ever want

you to suffer because of your pride or thinking your a burden. Cause your not

at all. I told her God sent her to us for a reason and we will take it day

by day. I love with all my heart and even if I have to carry her

everywhere she want's to go I would and never think twice about it.

Now for her friend's some did back away from her. But some stuck with her

through alot.

There was this one boy who would meet me at the front door of the school and

help then he would be there when I went to pick her up. I sat down

with and told her this.

A friend come a dime a dozen but a REAL friend will stick with you through

thick and thin. She found out quick who her real friends were.

You will have people come into and out of your life and some stay. Those

are the inspiration and full fill any voids in your life you may have. You

have to love yourself before someone can love you for being yourself. You are

who you are and you can't be someone you aren't. There's this song " Who

I Am " it's a Country song. There's also a song

" When your down and out just call me and I will be there " I forget who

sings it or the right name of it. There's another one. " Lean On Me "

You need a shoulder to lean on, When you need a shoulder to cry on, When

you need 2 arms to hold you, When you need a few words said to you, When you

need to talk about how life is treating you. Speak out speak up and shout.

Sit and talk with your Mom and friends and let them know how you feel. A

Mother's Love in Unconditional remember that. I would want to come to

me anytime no matter what. lololol I would get upset if she didn't. But

that's the Mom in me too.

Robbin

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I am sorry to hear you are not the best right now. I can relate to your

comment about your Mom helping you get dressed. I often have to rely on my

kids and/or wife to help me get dressed/undressed. My daughter age 7 is

quite the expert at pulling on socks ever so gently and actually I don't

want anyone else to do that except her. She knows how to grab the sock from

the top down instead of pulling at thend which constrict my toes into a

painful ball.

I leave the house for work before my wife does and my shirt collars are a

bear. I often rely on a couple girls at work to help me. I am way over

being shy about asking for help and they are actually glad to do it for me.

As far as the guy thing, look around. He may be right in front of you which

was my case. I ended up marrying my best friend.

havin' a rough day...

I'm havin' a bit of a rough day. My " friends " know I have JRA, even

though I've explained to them what it is and what it does.. they

still treat me like I have something they can catch when I have a

flare up, or like I'm faking it and just tryin to get out of

something. It's so hard becuase I except EVERY SINGLE one of their

disabilities and illnesses, or things that makes them " not like most

people. " It's just hard that they can't do the same for me. They

all veiw arthritis as an " old people's disease " and it drives me

crazy! I wish just for once that they'd accept me as a FULL person..

JRA and ALL!!!!My illnesses are just a PART of who I am.. not the

full person!!!! Some of them act like they are better than me

becuase they don't have JRA..that just makes me feel worse.

Especially on my really bad days when I have to suck up my pride and

ask my mom to help me brush my hair, or to help me get dressed. That

is so humiliating for me, and they have NO idea what that's like to

HAVE to ask your mother to do things like that for you at the age of

22!! They don't stop to think what all it takes for me to even get up

in the morning, or to even TAKE A SHOWER!!! I try to never complain

thinking that it would help them to deal with my JRA.. but yea right.

they all still look at me like I'm a circus freak. Guys won't date

me becuase they say I have " to much drama in my life " becuase of all

my illnesses, like somehow I WANT all this in my life! I try to stay

positive, but it's VERY hard some days! Days like today I just wanna

give up and just stop tryin to have a " normal life " . I mean the docs

want me to give up and go in the hospital so they can use me as a

case study anyway. I " m sorry I " m dumping all this out.. I've just

had a VERY bad few months. It's all coming to a head. Thanks for

letting me vent!! If you pray, please pray that God will pull me

through this dark time.. like He has the past ones. I know it'll all

work out, I just have to keep my faith in God. It's just gonna take

time.

~God Bless~