siblings?

[Guest guest]

YES!!!!! My was coming up with something new every day and would

announce that he needed to go to the doctor, etc, etc..... He goes through

phases now.... I think it will always be there given he has two brothers

with chronic illness, he feels like the *different* one. It does get better

as he is getting older, but you know what I mean when I say it will always

be there....

><>Pattie

My 6yo dd (who is low in IgA, but otherwise healthy) and suddenly stopped

eating solid foods. We think she might be reacting to family stress about

Rebekah (the doctor told me that as parents we can't let our kids see our

stress--HA!) or seeking attention. This kid has not eaten a regular meal in

over a week now. Has anyone else had siblings develop " illnesses " to get

attention??

Pam

wife to (15 years)

mother to , 8, Hannah, 6, Rebekah, 2, and Leah, 1

[Guest guest]

,

For us it has been fairly good. My son is 27 and is 17 so being 10

years apart there was a difference. My son did help alot with . But

there was times that he felt helpless also. I was very honest with them both.

He didn't like seeing in pain. Today he will come get me and tell me.

He knew she couldn't do alot and when she would try to he was hollering for me

to come there.

Theres going to be sibling rivery with kids. To me it has brought them

closer together. You know the special bond. My mom was good about having Joe at

her place for the weekends IF he did good at school all week so he wasn't there

but out having some fun. had problems before she was disgnosed at 12.

The doctor called it growing pains so this was the start but he did well with

being 's big brither. He was 22 and out of college when she was

disgnosed. This was when he really got scared being with her. Due to the muscle

tremors. But he was there anytime she needed him. I do count on him at times

even

though she is 17. I don't allow her to stay at home alone much.

At my kids ages. They have adjusted well. Kids do well. You just take time

out for each one. My hubby and I would do boys day out and girls days out.

Every family with kids have the sibling rivery of Why does she get to stay out

of school or why do i have to go to the doctor with her. This is where you

lean on someone to take the sibling out. Then they will want to go just to see

what it is like at the doctor with the sibling. At times I was caught in the

middle and thats where I said ok now. What ever it is please go to your room

and settle it yourself. This one would get them everytime lololol they knew if i

had to settle it someone was going to get it lolol.

Alot depends on the age difference I think.

Robbin

[Guest guest]

COOL name aint it lolol. If you need any advice I am here for you darling.

You should have been in my house as we grew up. lolol. I have a brother named

we nicked named him Robbie. so Mom would holler and we always

wondered who she meant. I married a Bobby lolol. and my daughter in law is

Ronni. If

mom was with us today she would say probably please someone come in here.

I am the oldest of 12 kids so Mom always messed up with who she really

wanted. You might know the routine call everyones name but the right one lolol.

Robbin

[Guest guest]

For some of my siblings it was easier for others not so much. The big

problem was the fact that my mom would let me go out even if I didn't go to

school, which wasn't allowed before. In my mom's mind though it was well

finally feels well enough to do something and for once its not a trip to the

hospital let her go. My sister Brittany is the same age as me (adopted) and of

course she was a little miffed about it but she actually wasn't to mad, she

went to a lot of the appointments with me and realized how bad what I had was.

My older sister Nicolle on the other hand still has a lot of issues around

this, she always felt I got more attention and that my parents were nicer to

me. She was mad that I got a laptop (I needed it for my arthritic hands) and

my parents bought me a new car (still not sure how I got that.. ) and I still

dont have to work because I at this point I really can't, and all of this

bothers my sister. It bothers me too I'm 20 and wish I had a normal 20 year

old life.. but we can't get what we want. As for my oldest sisters they are

11years and 15 years older then me so they dont really have any issues other

then sometimes not really knowing what's going on and being confused about this

disease. I think jealousy is a huge problem with siblings in this kind of a

situation..

[Guest guest]

how does having one child with JRA effect other children in the

home?? my oldest ( age 6) seems to deal with everything great.

at times she has questions... and i am honest with her and explain

the best i can to her what is going on... tell her why there is bad

days and good days... why Tiff does not understand things she should

be at her age ect.. ect.. and just like tiff shannon has her good

days and bad days... she does get frusterated trying to figure

everything out. i think that is good... her letting her emotions out.

and we have shannon and mommy time where we talk about what is

bugging her and about other things too. it really seems to help. i

also let her help with donations to the hospital (we do toy/ stuffed

animal/ cloths drive to Childrens hospital to help the families) and

she LOVES being appart of that.

of course my question is about long term.... i know that no one here

can tell me how shannon will react in the long term... but i was

wondering for thoes of your with more then one child how your kids

have reacted to haveing a sibling with a cronic condition?? has it

gotten easier over time?? thought it would be kinda cool to hear the

siblings side:)

[Guest guest]

robbin- first i just wanted to say that tiffanies middle name

is " robbin " as well... same spelling... infact her dad and i were

arguing about the spelling after she was just born, my midwife told

wes " she just gave natural water birth... she gets to spell it the

way she wants " LOL LOL!! so " robbin " it was!!! LOL!

i appreciate alot of what you said... and i will always keep it in

mind. i really hope that they do indeed become closer as well. i have

not allowed shannon to go to the dr's apts yet because it has been

really hard getting her to let the rheumy's look at her. but after

reading what you had to say; i just might take her to this next one.

thankx again!!

> ,

> For us it has been fairly good. My son is 27 and is 17

so being 10

> years apart there was a difference. My son did help alot with

. But

> there was times that he felt helpless also. I was very honest with

them both.

> He didn't like seeing in pain. Today he will come get me

and tell me.

> He knew she couldn't do alot and when she would try to he was

hollering for me

> to come there.

> Theres going to be sibling rivery with kids. To me it has brought

them

> closer together. You know the special bond. My mom was good about

having Joe at

> her place for the weekends IF he did good at school all week so he

wasn't there

> but out having some fun. had problems before she was

disgnosed at 12.

> The doctor called it growing pains so this was the start but he did

well with

> being 's big brither. He was 22 and out of college when she

was

> disgnosed. This was when he really got scared being with her. Due

to the muscle

> tremors. But he was there anytime she needed him. I do count on him

at times even

> though she is 17. I don't allow her to stay at home alone much.

> At my kids ages. They have adjusted well. Kids do well. You just

take time

> out for each one. My hubby and I would do boys day out and girls

days out.

> Every family with kids have the sibling rivery of Why does she get

to stay out

> of school or why do i have to go to the doctor with her. This is

where you

> lean on someone to take the sibling out. Then they will want to go

just to see

> what it is like at the doctor with the sibling. At times I was

caught in the

> middle and thats where I said ok now. What ever it is please go to

your room

> and settle it yourself. This one would get them everytime lololol

they knew if i

> had to settle it someone was going to get it lolol.

> Alot depends on the age difference I think.

> Robbin

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Jealousy can play a big part between sibling's. had to get braces

to wear those went up to her knees. told my son to try them on. He

told her his foot was too big. lolol But he tried them on to let her know. She

told him now try walking in those things. lololol He told me he didn't know how

she did it. With the car we told we would get her one but we also

gave our son the same option. He never took us up on it. So at 27 he still don't

drive. He said it's to dangerous to drive in Atlanta. He has told us about his

concerns of when start's really driving everywhere. This is big

brother telling me about his sister. Mom I don't think you should ever let

be alone and for driving she shouldn't drive by herself. lolol

I told him look she has to learn and do for herself. What am I going to do

be y'all's taxi all the time lolol. He smiled and said welllllll lolol.

Robbin

[Guest guest]

I know that is having problems lately with the extra attention that

is getting. I've been trying to help even things out. He's started whining alot.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to ste the flow of the jealousy? I will

gladly take all advice ont his..

Thanks,

Emilie and ( 5 Poly)

Re: siblings?

Jealousy can play a big part between sibling's. had to get braces

to wear those went up to her knees. told my son to try them on. He

told her his foot was too big. lolol But he tried them on to let her know. She

told him now try walking in those things. lololol He told me he didn't know

how

she did it. With the car we told we would get her one but we also

gave our son the same option. He never took us up on it. So at 27 he still

don't

drive. He said it's to dangerous to drive in Atlanta. He has told us about his

concerns of when start's really driving everywhere. This is big

brother telling me about his sister. Mom I don't think you should ever let

be alone and for driving she shouldn't drive by herself. lolol

I told him look she has to learn and do for herself. What am I going to do

be y'all's taxi all the time lolol. He smiled and said welllllll lolol.

Robbin

[Guest guest]

Ok group.

Kid's don't come with instruction's or manual's. So we have to really

play it by ear and ask question's. What may work for one might not for another.

Each child has a different personality.

Alot to do is listen and watch the child. My mother in law told me . You

never have 2 kid's alike. She was so right when she said that. Between my 2 it's

like night and day. Being the oldest of a big family I see that also in my

sibling's. You about have to

make your own judgement. Make sure you always hug your child. Say I love you.

You will see what Mom meant when she said I hope you have a kid just like

you. lololol. Mom knows.

Did you know that asking a child to help you does alot also. This makes

them feel like they are being part of the family. Children want to feel needed

and wanted and loved. In return they want to make you proud of them. We are

their teacher. Time out is good also. With my 2 I had one do dishes one night

and the other cooked. Even though I didn't know what they were cooking. They

enjoyed it. lololol. Today they will still cook if they see me too busy to take

time to cook. is into trying different foods ( She's a good cook)

butttttttttttt lordy she likes spices.

Robbin

[Guest guest]

Emilie,

It is written in the books that there is the rivalry, but until you can

actually see it happen...that is when it really hurts. My kids are

10,8,6. Of course it is my middle daughter that has JRA. One

day...rotten day...our daughter finally broke down and told us how we

gave all of our attention to Allie and not to her...and we missed DR.

Apt's with her, and didn't pay the attention to her that she deserved.

It was a heart breaker. She and I both cried.

Her grandma stepped in and took her to her house for the week. Just the

two (well my dad was there too) and it seemed to help the situation. We

have brought her to DR. apts, so she could see Allie getting her shots

and blood drawn to demonstrate how " un-fun " this disease is.

I don't know how old your kids are, but trying to show them how special

they really are...each one of them separately may help. Our 6 year old

has not shown the signs that the older one has...and maybe because she

has always known Allie to have JRA. It is a very fine line to walk with

your kids.

I wish there was a magic answer to this one

Good Luck!

and Allie (8poly)

________________________________

From: HARRY SKIDMORE [mailto:h.skidmore@...]

Sent: Saturday, January 29, 2005 8:51 AM

Subject: Re: siblings?

I know that is having problems lately with the extra attention that

is getting. I've been trying to help even things out. He's

started whining alot. Does anyone have any ideas on how to ste the flow

of the jealousy? I will gladly take all advice ont his..

Thanks,

Emilie and ( 5 Poly)

Re: siblings?

Jealousy can play a big part between sibling's. had to get

braces

to wear those went up to her knees. told my son to try them

on. He

told her his foot was too big. lolol But he tried them on to let her

know. She

told him now try walking in those things. lololol He told me he didn't

know how

she did it. With the car we told we would get her one but we

also

gave our son the same option. He never took us up on it. So at 27 he

still don't

drive. He said it's to dangerous to drive in Atlanta. He has told us

about his

concerns of when start's really driving everywhere. This is

big

brother telling me about his sister. Mom I don't think you should ever

let

be alone and for driving she shouldn't drive by herself. lolol

I told him look she has to learn and do for herself. What am I going

to do

be y'all's taxi all the time lolol. He smiled and said welllllll

lolol.

Robbin