Re: hellish recovery

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I've been keeping up with you & trying to let you work through this based on

the excellent information you have received from many of us. I, personally

understand your " roller-coaster " range of feelings, as I went through this

same 'mess' beginning in June, '95, after having silicone implants for

nearly 21 years. Everyone said it might take me 2 full years to recover,

yet it took closer to 3 years, as I had to have a couple of additional

surgeries to remove silicone from the bottom of my left foot, my right shin,

and 3 places in one vein of my right arm ( one of which was a silicone

embolism )! Each surgery, set off all the inflammation in my body, and it

was like starting from " Square #1 " -- again. Even getting my teeth cleaned

can set off this inflammation throughout my body, and I'm not unique in this

respect.

The first week of December, 2000, I had to have some serious surgery on my

left calf -- twice in 8-days, and I'm still recovering as I'm not healing

well -- 'such is life! I hate it this way, however, I'm still here to help

others through all these unexpected events which most doctors will not dare

prepare you for, in advance.

Emotional & Physical stress can 'stir up' the inflammation the same as

surgery -- sometimes worse. A couple of years ago, when I unexpectedly

found out about my daughter's divorce, I could not get out of bed, or off

the sofa, to get dressed, for at least a week! Once your immune system gets

'screwed up', many things simply don't function correctly. Therefore, as I

originally told you, this will be a long up-hill battle; pamper yourself;

and don't expect recovery in a few weeks -- It will take much longer, yet

when you finally get over the hurdle, you will see why it was worth all this

turmoil you are currently going through.

Please continue to stay in touch!

Blessings with your recovery,

MM / NSIF

Martha Murdock, Director

National Silicone Implant Foundation

Dallas, Texas Headquarters

-----Original Message-----

From: <carina063@...>

egroups < egroups>

Date: Wednesday, January 17, 2001 1:16 AM

Subject: hellish recovery

>well I seem to be feeling so sick today even worse than I did with

>the implants. I don't want to discourage people, however I feel I

>made a big mistake getting the implants out. As bad as it sounds, if

>I am not better in a year, I will probably be replacing them with

>smooth impants, and just live sick all the time. I mean I am so

>depressed about this that it is also making me sick to my stomach. I

>had to take a tranquillizer today because I was so stressed and sick,

>my head is worse than ever and my aches and pains are bad and I am

>tired and week and anxious. I feel like I was given false hope, and

>now I am totally ruined over it. As bad as I felt with the implants

>at least my self image was ok, now it is bad. Don't get me wrong, I

>am sure the implants made me ill but will it go away? I do not know.

>I had a feeling this would happen to me and now it has, I regret my

>decision. I would rather be sick with the implants in than to be sick

>with no breasts! i feel so sickened by how I look and it is killing

>me.

>I think I may have to see a therapist, as I am frightened by how

>depresed I am. I had no idea I would feel even sicker at almost 6

>weeks than I did even with the implants in. THis makes me so angry.

>

>Sorry if I have upset anyone, but I feel people need to know the

>truth and that if they are going to take out the implants be prepared

>to be seriously depressed and not to expect to feel good or even

>better in fact you may get worse. I don't know what the future will

>bring, but I am not going to go through life sick and looking like

>this.....it is too much

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ahhh, !

I don't know what to say to you......I am really distressed that your

thoughts are doing this to you.

I am not sure how you thought you would be feeling better in six weeks, or

that anyone here led you into believing that. I have said over and over

again, you must be patient in your recovery. Dr. Feng even told you it

would take a year or longer, didn't she? It has taken me 3 years. You know

full well how long I have struggled to get better, as we have been friends

for over a year, and you have experienced all of this with me.

I also did tell you that there would be a good chance that at 6 weeks you

would see an exacerbation of your symptoms. It appears that this is

happening. There are going to be lots of hills and valleys. You will have

good days and bad days. You will feel good and you will feel awful, with a

very, very slow progession into feeling more and more good days and less and

less bad days. But , for God's sake, you haven't even gotten out of

the starting gate hardly.

, you must quit obsessing over this. You need to just take things one

day at a time, and focus on other things. Trust me, I know how hard this is

to do when you just want to get better. I wanted it as much as anyone. And

I went through hell getting to where I am today also. My husband moved to

another state 5 months after explant to start a new business, leaving me

behind, sick, to take care of our 4 young kids alone. I also had to bear

the responsibility to sell our house (meaning I had to have it spit-spot

clean at the drop of a hat whenever a realtor called to show it, and it took

9 months to sell!), do the payroll for the business, I worked part time

evenings as a waitress, and we had no income for the first 6 months that our

business was open--just my tips! Then when our house did sell, I had the

responsibility of packing up the entire 3 bedroom, 3 bath house into a

U-Haul and moving the family to Vegas myself, since my husband had to run

the business. Talk about stress!! I still shake my head in disbelief,

wondering how I got through it all without collapsing from exhaustion. No

wonder I felt so sick all the time.

You MUST STOP THESE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, CARRIE. You are being totally

impatient and unrealistic right now.

If there has been any false hope , I believe it has been because you

have carried unrealistic expectations of just having a smooth recovery. It

is not a smooth ride. It is very bumpy and jolting and unpleasant. If you

think that seeing a therapist would help you, then by all means, please go

see a therapist. You need to stop being in denial about your recovery and

just accept the fact that it is going to take some time before you see major

improvements. Call Dr. Feng and talk to her some more. Maybe she can offer

you more insights. She is an expert. Talk to Dr. Kolb. She is an expert.

If you have faith in God, trust God. That has been my source of comfort

when I felt comfort nowhere else.

, I worry about you, and don't want you to be going through this. I

don't want any of us to be going through this. But Please, PLEASE, PLEASE

stop obsessing about your breasts and try to stay focused on positive,

healthy healing thoughts. You must do this in order to get better. Read

books about how people have healed from other illnesses to give you hope.

There are many, many books out there about how people have overcome huge

health obstacles. Those are healing stories to us. Focus on them. Try

those therapies. And remember, detoxing your body is going to bring out the

worst symptoms until all that junk is gone and your body can function the

way it is supposed to again.

God help us--and , please ask God to give you some peace. I'll be

praying for you.

Patty

----- Original Message -----

From: <carina063@...>

< egroups>

Sent: Tuesday, January 16, 2001 11:08 PM

Subject: hellish recovery

> well I seem to be feeling so sick today even worse than I did with

> the implants. I don't want to discourage people, however I feel I

> made a big mistake getting the implants out. As bad as it sounds, if

> I am not better in a year, I will probably be replacing them with

> smooth impants, and just live sick all the time. I mean I am so

> depressed about this that it is also making me sick to my stomach. I

> had to take a tranquillizer today because I was so stressed and sick,

> my head is worse than ever and my aches and pains are bad and I am

> tired and week and anxious. I feel like I was given false hope, and

> now I am totally ruined over it. As bad as I felt with the implants

> at least my self image was ok, now it is bad. Don't get me wrong, I

> am sure the implants made me ill but will it go away? I do not know.

> I had a feeling this would happen to me and now it has, I regret my

> decision. I would rather be sick with the implants in than to be sick

> with no breasts! i feel so sickened by how I look and it is killing

> me.

> I think I may have to see a therapist, as I am frightened by how

> depresed I am. I had no idea I would feel even sicker at almost 6

> weeks than I did even with the implants in. THis makes me so angry.

>

> Sorry if I have upset anyone, but I feel people need to know the

> truth and that if they are going to take out the implants be prepared

> to be seriously depressed and not to expect to feel good or even

> better in fact you may get worse. I don't know what the future will

> bring, but I am not going to go through life sick and looking like

> this.....it is too much

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

oh ,

Hang in there!

Remember that you just had a surgery and there can be tuff recoveries

associated with the body releasing all the toxins from the anesthesia

alone! 6 weeks is still a short time

I remember during my training as a neuromuscular therapist , we

learned that it can take the body a long time to purge itself from

toxins, related to medications and foreign matter (implants) that

may have been introduced into your body. Healing takes time. Also --

YOU FEEL SICKEST when your body is getting rid of the gunk !! It

will get totally better ,, it will!!

Stay positive, I know it's tuff.

I have learned as many here probably have - the size of your chest

has nothing to do with how sexy or desirable you are -- that comes

from within your Spirit. Heal your mind and the body will follow.

Healthy is where its at more than anything else. I'll be sending

good thoughts your way. Venting your feelings is another one of the

best things you can do right now. Patty, Martha and all here are so

warm and helpful . Gentle Hugs to you, Roma

-- In egroups, " " <carina063@h...> wrote:

> well I seem to be feeling so sick today even worse than I did with

> the implants. I don't want to discourage people, however I feel I

> made a big mistake getting the implants out. As bad as it sounds,

if

> I am not better in a year, I will probably be replacing them with

> smooth impants, and just live sick all the time. I mean I am so

> depressed about this that it is also making me sick to my stomach.

I

> had to take a tranquillizer today because I was so stressed and

sick,

> my head is worse than ever and my aches and pains are bad and I am

> tired and week and anxious. I feel like I was given false hope, and

> now I am totally ruined over it. As bad as I felt with the implants

> at least my self image was ok, now it is bad. Don't get me wrong, I

> am sure the implants made me ill but will it go away? I do not

know.

> I had a feeling this would happen to me and now it has, I regret my

> decision. I would rather be sick with the implants in than to be

sick

> with no breasts! i feel so sickened by how I look and it is killing

> me.

> I think I may have to see a therapist, as I am frightened by how

> depresed I am. I had no idea I would feel even sicker at almost 6

> weeks than I did even with the implants in. THis makes me so angry.

>

> Sorry if I have upset anyone, but I feel people need to know the

> truth and that if they are going to take out the implants be

prepared

> to be seriously depressed and not to expect to feel good or even

> better in fact you may get worse. I don't know what the future will

> bring, but I am not going to go through life sick and looking like

> this.....it is too much