Re: Another topic from me... I'm off the diet

November 28, 2010

Dear Steph,

I can relate to what you are going through; reminds me of the

horrible fights I had with my husband ten years ago about 'cancer

treatments' and getting cut up and burned by doctors or not. He had

no clue about natural medicine or holistic/natural living.

Even today I find myself surrounded at times by 'clueless' and

'thoughtless' people who judge and make things difficult because *I

choose* to eat the way I do. I used to bring my own food to my

parents' back in the 'veg' days (when I ate in a way that was really

strange to them), when I was about your age, and it didn't go over

very well at all, to put it mildly. Even today my mother, who

is very regimented and judgmental, still fusses and gives me a hard

time over my " diet " and personal choices. But she's mellowed some

with age, thankfully.

It's actually much easier today -- because I can eat *meat*; haha --

she's so relieved now, and even gratified that 'she was right' that I

needed to eat meat all those years I refused it for sentimental reasons! haha

So, if you talk with your boyfriend logically and neutrally (no heavy

emotion there, it works better, believe me) about why you are eating

the way you are, and that you *feel better* and know you are

*healing*, surely he should begin to understand eventually. If not,

what the heck -- he will be a thorn in your side and slow the healing

process. My own husband almost seems to be gleeful at 'booby

trapping' me by bringing home my previous 'favorite snacks' that he

knows are addictive and hard to resist.

I almost dislike putting it this way, but if a person is so

unsupportive and even unfriendly about our own choices for healing

and health, what kind of friend is that anyway? People actually

*mocked* me for wearing a charcoal mask while driving in Chicago

(when I lived there years ago); those people are no longer my

friends, I notice. Those who put so much stock in " appearances "

(they were embarrassed to have me in the car with my mask) have

little importance in my life.

You will find much support on this great group, Steph, as you

probably already know. Why don't you simply eat what you *can* at

your boyfriend's parent's house, and then eat again when you get

home? I had to do something like that while visiting my mother for

three long (and difficult) weeks recently, when we were invited to

dinners at her friends' homes. It didn't bother them (much) though;

I at least ate *something* and I did not 'insult' them by bringing my

own food. Believe me, I personally wouldn't be insulted if someone

brought their own food to my home, by many out there are simply

" insultable " ; that's akin to my other word " offendable " .... it's the

way it is in this world of ours; and we can make the best of it, or

let it weigh us down.

Sorry, Bee and all, that this went so long, but there you go,

to health and happiness,

Jude

At 12:27 PM 11/28/2010, you wrote:

> Basically I have been forced by friends and family to go off the

> diet. And when I say forced I mean... well it was getting bad.

> People didnt understand and there were so many people against me.

> My boyfriends family just hated it, they thought I was so weird. I

> couldnt eat anything his mother was making so she got insulted. I

> have to bring my own food everywhere and people got insulted. And

> because I was really sick for a while there being on the diet,

> people thought what I was doing was making it worse. No body

> understood, my boyfriend was ready to break up with me because he

> thought I had a mental disorder that made me paranoid about

> food.... same with me friends and family. I didnt know what to do,

> I was on the diet for four months and was feeling good... and now

> I'm off it... I couldnt handle the pressure from everyone anymore.

> Now I am just on a situation where I just want to cry all the time,

> my body is going cray. I'm trying to stay as close to the diet as

> possible though, but it's hard because I live with my boyfriend.

>

>In conclusion.... IT SUCKS... I feel like this diet would only work

>for me if I was alone all the time, if I broke up with my boyfriend

>and hid for the rest of the time... ugh. I just feel so defeated,

>and frustrated.

>

>The funny thing is I LOVE THIS DIET... at the begining I hated it,

>but now I CRAVE fat, I CRAVE MEAT and veggies and protein... I dont

>even WANT to eat a peice of bread... it doesnt bother me anymore....

November 28, 2010

> > Basically I have been forced by friends and family to go off the diet.

And when I say forced I mean... well it was getting bad.

People didn't understand and there were so many people against me.

My boyfriends family just hated it, they thought I was so weird.

I couldn't eat anything his mother was making so she got insulted. I have to

bring my own food everywhere and people got insulted. And because I was really

sick for a while there being on the diet, people thought what I was doing was

making it worse. No body understood, my boyfriend was ready to break up with me

because he thought I had a mental disorder that made me paranoid about food....

same with me friends and family. I didn't know what to do, I was on the diet for

four months and was feeling good... and now I'm off it... I couldn't handle the

pressure from everyone anymore.

>> Now I am just on a situation where I just want to cry all the time, my body

is going cray. I'm trying to stay as close to the diet as possible though, but

it's hard because I live with my boyfriend.

> >

> >In conclusion.... IT SUCKS... I feel like this diet would only work for me if

I was alone all the time, if I broke up with my boyfriend and hid for the rest

of the time... ugh. I just feel so defeated, and frustrated.

> >

@@ Snip

@@ Hi Taryn,

I agree with Jude. Try To communicate your need for support and why you feel

you need to this diet with your boyfriend as peacefully as you can.

However, to reiterate Jude's advice, if your boyfriend is unwilling to be

supportive to your cause, then your relationship has a poor foundation.

Therefore, you may need to reevaluate the relationship and ask yourself is your

health worth the trade off.

Taryn, I and others can only advise, you, Like everyone else, have to decide

what works for you.

Best Regards,

Ed

group moderator

November 28, 2010

>

> Basically I have been forced by friends and family to go off the diet. And

when I say forced I mean... well it was getting bad. People didnt understand and

there were so many people against me.

======= Well, I do feel for you. Remember, nobody can force you (unless it's

under pain of death) to do anything. But yes, they can certainly apply the

pressure by misunderstanding you, judging you, making you feel neurotic and

isolated and becoming insulted because you cannot eat their food. It's all

emotional and at times you feel almost blackmailed. Notice something though,

it's all about what THEY think, rather than you?

I'd like to know something, are they in the least concerned about what YOU want?

About what makes YOU comfortable and what maybe working for YOU? Or are they

more interested in making judgements about something they evidentally don't know

much about and would prefer to take offense, than to consider your feelings and

actually listen to you about all this?

I have been judged, I've had some demeaning or smart comments said to me, I've

been treated like I'm neurotic, because of a diet. It's honestly pathetic!

It's just FOOD and they need to get OVER IT. You are the one responsible for

what you put into your body, not them. You are the one who will suffer the

consequences of going off the diet, not them. Then again, perhaps some of them

will, as you feel sicker and feel more depressed.

Sorry, but sometimes you gotta get tough, for the sake of your health and your

future. People who want to sit back, judge, and do this to you emotionally are

not going to help you or support you in your quest to improve your health.

Look, if you were starving yourself? Or making yourself vomit? Their concerns

would be legitimate, but for cryin' out loud, you're eating good protein foods

like meats/eggs etc. You're eating fats. So your diet is far from a

starvation/neurotic diet. It's a diet to help build your immunity, your body

and hopefully get you in better shape.

Really, they're not being fair to you. But you need to be fair to yourself. If

they don't like it? Too bad. Seriously, i've had to isolate myself and stick

to a diet so I could start feeling healthier and get on more with my life. To

heck with people who would hold me back from achieving that. If they allow

" food " to be such a focal point in judging you as a person, then they really

need to get a life! I have people around me now that have had to understand,

like ot or lump it and they accept me, regardless, even if they don't fully " get

it " .

Ok I'll get off my soap box now :-)

November 29, 2010

Hello everyone!

I was doing a candida diet probably 15 years ago and went through all kinds of

remarks and judging from others. Since then I've been on many different diets

outside the mainstream American way of eating, so I've learned to not care about

what others think of my eating. And I'm sure it still happens, but I don't

think I pay that much attention to it like I used to. I used to try and

explain, but most people didn't understand anyway. Sometimes I might say " do

you know what's in that thing your eating? " They'll say they don't want to know

and it's over.

When you are making healthy choices for yourself, you are actually starting to

stick up for yourself more than you did before, so you are changing and that

might scare some people. They won't relate to you in the same way that they did

and that might force them to deal with issues they don't want to deal with.

When I started getting healthy I had to revisit relationships I had with people

and some people who were not supportive ended up not being in my life anymore.

You are not going to be sick anymore and certain people won't know what to do

with that.

It's like when overweight people loose a lot of weight. People's perception of

you will change, as well as their perception of themselves.

Hang in there. It definitely gets easier.

Kim

November 29, 2010

We are much more tolerant of other people's food 'issues' than those who have no

'perceived' issues with food, because we have become aware of what the food has

done to us, and does to others.

One thing you might try is to gently point out to the others that whilst you

would love to be able to eat those foods, your body won't let you.

They are very fortunate (so they think) that they do not have issues with food.

You could also try mentioning that you are very much not in the minority, that

allergies and intolerances to the modern food is rapidly increasing, which is

why so many restaurants and food establishments now have to supply gluten-free

food and other 'non-allergenic' food.

You obviously would rather not have to eat this way, but you have recognised

that eating a lot of carbohydrates and processed food makes you sick.

Plus, if the current advice on diet for obesity and diabetes was right then why

is it still increasing, and even amongst young children now?

Try not to argue, but do try to reason - even if you can get one person to

understand, it is one person on your side....

Ali.

> At 12:27 PM 11/28/2010, you wrote:

> > Basically I have been forced by friends and family to go off the

> > diet. And when I say forced I mean... well it was getting bad.

> > People didnt understand and there were so many people against me.

> > My boyfriends family just hated it, they thought I was so weird. I

> > couldnt eat anything his mother was making so she got insulted. I

> > have to bring my own food everywhere and people got insulted. And

> > because I was really sick for a while there being on the diet,

> > people thought what I was doing was making it worse. No body

> > understood, my boyfriend was ready to break up with me because he

> > thought I had a mental disorder that made me paranoid about

> > food.... same with me friends and family. I didnt know what to do,

> > I was on the diet for four months and was feeling good... and now

> > I'm off it... I couldnt handle the pressure from everyone anymore.

> > Now I am just on a situation where I just want to cry all the time,

> > my body is going cray. I'm trying to stay as close to the diet as

> > possible though, but it's hard because I live with my boyfriend.

> >

> >In conclusion.... IT SUCKS... I feel like this diet would only work

> >for me if I was alone all the time, if I broke up with my boyfriend

> >and hid for the rest of the time... ugh. I just feel so defeated,

> >and frustrated.

> >

> >The funny thing is I LOVE THIS DIET... at the begining I hated it,

> >but now I CRAVE fat, I CRAVE MEAT and veggies and protein... I dont

> >even WANT to eat a peice of bread... it doesnt bother me anymore....

>

November 29, 2010

I cant really reply to everyone so I will trey my best to be general...

Thank-you for all your advice... I guess I am just upset right now.... mostly

upset with people around me. They relaly do think I have a mental problem. At

one point my mom thought I had an eating disorder and a phobia of food. I had

people telling me " Taryn you have a problem, you need to go see a therapist " .

THAT IS SOOO FRUSTRATING!!! AGHH!!! They look at me like I'm mentally

handicapped. It's so sad. It's stressing me out so much.

IS THERE ANYONE IN CALGARY WHO IS ON THIS DIET?? Calgary, Alberta, Canada?? If

so I NEED to meet you... I need people to know I'm not crazy and that other

people do this too. When I say I am getting this info on the internet they just

roll their eyes and say you cant trust that infromation, you can only trust

information from MDs. Then I tell them how they have been taught by Universities

who are funded by pharmaseutical companies who only allow them to learn about

perscritions drugs as " cures " ... THEN I get seen as some CRAZY person who might

have schizophrenia. I swear one of these days they're going to drive up to my

house and take me to the looney bin.

Who knew trying to be healthy would be SO HARD, and you would have so many

people against you... ohhhhh dear.......

>

> We are much more tolerant of other people's food 'issues' than those who have

no 'perceived' issues with food, because we have become aware of what the food

has done to us, and does to others.

>

> One thing you might try is to gently point out to the others that whilst you

would love to be able to eat those foods, your body won't let you.

>

> They are very fortunate (so they think) that they do not have issues with

food.

>

> You could also try mentioning that you are very much not in the minority, that

allergies and intolerances to the modern food is rapidly increasing, which is

why so many restaurants and food establishments now have to supply gluten-free

food and other 'non-allergenic' food.

>

> You obviously would rather not have to eat this way, but you have recognised

that eating a lot of carbohydrates and processed food makes you sick.

>

> Plus, if the current advice on diet for obesity and diabetes was right then

why is it still increasing, and even amongst young children now?

>

> Try not to argue, but do try to reason - even if you can get one person to

understand, it is one person on your side....

>

> Ali.

>

Unnecessary text edited out by moderator

November 29, 2010

Hi,

Is your name ? Please don't give up on this diet. It works! Read the

success stories over and over for motivation. I've been on Bee's program for 9

months and it has already changed my life.

I have always been a very insecure person who cared way too much about other

people's feelings and opinions about me. I don't care what people think about me

anymore. All that matters is that I am healing and my life is so much better

than it was a year ago.

Be strong and don't ever feel like you have to explain your choices to other

people. It's your body and your health and happiness. When you look back on your

life someday you can be proud that you did it your way.

Trust me, it gets easier.

Josh

>

> Basically I have been forced by friends and family to go off the diet. And

when I say forced I mean... well it was getting bad. People didnt understand and

there were so many people against me. My boyfriends family just hated it, they

thought I was so weird. I couldnt eat anything his mother was making so she got

insulted. I have to bring my own food everywhere and people got insulted. And

because I was really sick for a while there being on the diet, people thought

what I was doing was making it worse. No body understood, my boyfriend was ready

to break up with me because he thought I had a mental disorder that made me

paranoid about food.... same with me friends and family. I didnt know what to

do, I was on the diet for four months and was feeling good... and now I'm off

it... I couldnt handle the pressure from everyone anymore. Now I am just on a

situation where I just want to cry all the time, my body is going cray. I'm

trying to stay as close to the diet as possible though, but it's hard because I

live with my boyfriend.

>

> In conclusion.... IT SUCKS... I feel like this diet would only work for me if

I was alone all the time, if I broke up with my boyfriend and hid for the rest

of the time... ugh. I just feel so defeated, and frustrated.

>

> The funny thing is I LOVE THIS DIET... at the begining I hated it, but now I

CRAVE fat, I CRAVE MEAT and veggies and protein... I dont even WANT to eat a

peice of bread... it doesnt bother me anymore....

>

November 29, 2010

I agree with Josh. You have to think about YOURSELF and not what others

think about you. Your main focus in life should be your happiness and

health. If others can not see this as healing yourself, they are not

worthy to know what you are doing then. Only share your diet and

choices with people who truly care about you.

Good luck with everything!

-Theresa

On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 7:40 PM, natureguy626 wrote:

Hi,

Is your name ? Please don't give up on this diet. It works!

Read the success stories over and over for motivation. I've been on

Bee's program for 9 months and it has already changed my life.

I have always been a very insecure person who cared way too much about

other people's feelings and opinions about me. I don't care what people

think about me anymore. All that matters is that I am healing and my

life is so much better than it was a year ago.

Be strong and don't ever feel like you have to explain your choices to

other people. It's your body and your health and happiness. When you

look back on your life someday you can be proud that you did it your

way.

Trust me, it gets easier.

Josh

>

> Basically I have been forced by friends and family to go off the diet.

> And when I say forced I mean... well it was getting bad. People didnt

> understand and there were so many people against me. My boyfriends

> family just hated it, they thought I was so weird. I couldnt eat

> anything his mother was making so she got insulted. I have to bring my

> own food everywhere and people got insulted. And because I was really

> sick for a while there being on the diet, people thought what I was

> doing was making it worse. No body understood, my boyfriend was ready

> to break up with me because he thought I had a mental disorder that

> made me paranoid about food.... same with me friends and family. I

> didnt know what to do, I was on the diet for four months and was

> feeling good... and now I'm off it... I couldnt handle the pressure

> from everyone anymore. Now I am just on a situation where I just want

> to cry all the time, my body is going cray. I'm trying to stay as

> close to the diet as possible though, but it's hard because I live

> with my boyfriend.

> In conclusion.... IT SUCKS... I feel like this diet would only work

> for me if I was alone all the time, if I broke up with my boyfriend

> and hid for the rest of the time... ugh. I just feel so defeated, and

> frustrated.

> The funny thing is I LOVE THIS DIET... at the begining I hated it, but

> now I CRAVE fat, I CRAVE MEAT and veggies and protein... I dont even

> WANT to eat a peice of bread... it doesnt bother me anymore....

<javascript:parent.wgMail.openComposeWindow(' ')>

<>

November 30, 2010

>

> I cant really reply to everyone so I will trey my best to be general...

>

> Thank-you for all your advice... I guess I am just upset right now.... mostly

upset with people around me. They relaly do think I have a mental problem. At

one point my mom thought I had an eating disorder and a phobia of food. I had

people telling me " Taryn you have a problem, you need to go see a therapist " .

THAT IS SOOO FRUSTRATING!!! AGHH!!! They look at me like I'm mentally

handicapped. It's so sad. It's stressing me out so much.

>

> IS THERE ANYONE IN CALGARY WHO IS ON THIS DIET?? Calgary, Alberta, Canada?? If

so I NEED to meet you... I need people to know I'm not crazy and that other

people do this too. When I say I am getting this info on the internet they just

roll their eyes and say you cant trust that infromation, you can only trust

information from MDs. Then I tell them how they have been taught by Universities

who are funded by pharmaseutical companies who only allow them to learn about

perscritions drugs as " cures " ... THEN I get seen as some CRAZY person who might

have schizophrenia. I swear one of these days they're going to drive up to my

house and take me to the looney bin.

>

> Who knew trying to be healthy would be SO HARD, and you would have so many

people against you... ohhhhh dear.......

+++Hi Taryn,

I have had the same experiences with people as you have, so I understand totally

how frustrating it is.

One statement I use frequently, which stops them in their tracks and makes them

think twice is:

" No one gets sick from a lack of drugs! "

Depending upon the subject you can change the statement to others, like:

" You don't get a headache from a lack of aspirin. "

" You don't get a stomachache from a lack of Tums, Rolaids, etc. "

" You don't get a cancer from a lack of chemotherapy or radiation. "

And so on.

I'm slim and very healthy, yet overweight people criticize me for being too

skinny! Go figure. It isn't good enough that at 69 years old I have no health

issues of any kind, except for not having a thyroid (due to medical tampering).

They still think I should get checked out by the doctor since I " could have "

something that is going to strike me down tomorrow. lol!

My daughters think a woman my age shouldn't be slim, and instead should have

plenty of fat to pad my bones in case I fall. If my bones are healthy then they

wouldn't break unless I fell from a 3 story window. However, to pacify them I

got thorough medical tests and everything was perfect/ Yet that still wasn't

good enough. It is not even okay that my body mass index is perfect with 28.8%

fat.

I don't know why they can't figure out that I'm slim because I don't have pop,

sweets, high carb foods, and I eat lots of natural fats.

Usually I avoid the whole subject since it's not worth my time and energy. I

just go on my merry way, slim and healthy as I am.

Don't let anyone get you down Taryn. They are brainwashed and you aren't!

Onward & Upward, Bee

November 30, 2010

Honestly I just feel a bit sad for your " friends " and family.

People fight tooth and nail for the right to injest whatever they want,

including foods, drink, cigarettes and drugs that in the end will make them sick

and die.

Don't believe for a minute that these people are sane.

You are the sane one. You choose life.

I hope you find a person who can support you. I am sure there is somebody who

wants the same as you.

Lots of hugs

Cassie