Guest guest Posted February 18, 2001 Report Share Posted February 18, 2001 Martha you are so right! I have to admit I'm nervous but I will deal with that when it comes up. I have grown so much in the past 10 yrs and really do love myself just the way I am. My desire for health is alot stronger than my desire for looks so I will be focussing on those points to help me thru this. I also know that when you are depressed you develop tunnel vision perhaps because your thinking process is out of whack to put it one way. Only when you start feeling the depression lift do you even realize how focussed you were on that particular subject and are then able to let go of it or at least put it in perspective. Here's to a strong and positive self image for all of us gorgeous woman! J ----- Original Message ----- From: MARTHA Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 1:49 PM Subject: Re: Hey Dearest Jackie, What do you think about acknowdging that you are indeed a beautiful person; always have been, and you have finally learned that the beauty within yourself, as well as your exterior beauty --- has absolutely nothing to do with any body parts!??? Now, this is who you are and your're abot to stand inside yourself and be happy with this! With much love and experience, MM / NSIF Martha Murdock, DirectorNational Silicone Implant FoundationDallas, Texas Headquarters ----- Original Message ----- From: Jackie Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 7:25 PM Subject: Re: Hey Oh , my heart goes out to ya. You are so right to list all the improvements and feel blessed with them and you are so right to vent about losing the implants. Are you taking anything for the depression itself . If you could lift that depression somewhat if not all, you might not have to go thru that merry go round everyday with your emotions. When we are depressed we tend to focus on whatever is bothering us and sometimes take it to the point of being obsessive. I'm not saying your being obsessive, or...well...are you? What do you think? When I went for my live blood analysis last Tues the Microbiologist recommended L-Tyrosine during the day and 5HTP at night. It has been helping me. Perhaps there is still a chemical imbalance there that needs to be addressed. I'm sorry I don't have any great suggestions but at least you know you can come here and say what you like. What about the natural herbs that Patty is taking that are supposed to help enhance breasts. Have you ever tried any of them? Keep coming back kiddo, we miss ya. J ----- Original Message ----- From: carina063@... Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2001 11:37 AM Subject: Hey Hi everyone. Well I try to keep you all updated of my progress now, since it is 10 weeks since my explant. First of all, I feel like I have improved dramatically in many ways....which is great. I feel that I would, in fact, be even better, if it weren't for 2 things holding me back. The first and foremost thing being the depression, and the second thing being my lack of self control regarding my diet.If I could get these things under control I would be allot better. The depression thing is killing me and it is the worse part of this whole ordeal. Despite the way my health has improved I cannot get past it. At times it isn't there but much of the time it is. I feel such a loss over the implants, and at times despite the gains in my health I feel I made a mistake and should have kept the implants. There are even times I must admit, that I have been thinking of putting them back in, trying the smooth ones, over the muscle, etc...but I know I won't ever do it, I just entertain these thoughts, when I get so down because I think well, I can always do it, if things just get so bad, and I cannot stand it, it is always an option that exists, there are plenty of PS's around that would be more than happy to put implants back in me, ha ha.Then I think of how sick I was and how far I have come and of course realize how stupid it would be to put implants back in and what if I got even sicker, or started losing my hair, or couldn't get out of bed, or had that horrible black fog come back again. It is crazy how your mind can mess with you. I am blessed with thick long hair, I am blessed that I can still highlight it and braid it and style it, and that it looks great, I am blessed that I can work out like I do, I am back into my wieghts and able to work my chest like I never could with those implants, and on valentines day I got anonymous flowers, a dozen red roses from my man, 2 boxes of chocolates (which I ate like a pig) and was able to run 6 miles the next day to burn them off ! HA!so what is my problem, why do I still miss those damn implants. AH! it is crazy and I think I need to see a therapist over this issue because it is driving me nuts. This is the very thing that held me back on my explant for awhile. If you have read my posts back in July then you know how I felt about removing those things, but I went with my gut and everyday I go back and forth, happy they are gone, then sad they are gone. I want to move on with my life and this is holding me back and so I need to find out what it is with me, why can't I just get over it. I mean I was so sick with them inside me how can I miss that? Ok, well I am off to go jog and then I will check back to see if anyone has any thoughts on this crap and what I can do to get over the depression that I am in right now, although I realize it is something that we all go through, and it is normal, and I believe in time it will go away, as the wounds heal.thankyou for letting me vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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