5 Year Anniversary

[Guest guest]

July 9th marks five years since our accident. Though Kaltyn has made great

Progress over the last five years it seem's like only yesterday. I often wonder

will the pain ever go away. I often wonder if IM the only one that still has

periods of uncontrollable crying spells. Wondering what I could have done to

change the course of that day. IM over the part of blaming myself the car came

from the otherside of the freeway that struck us head on. For many of the first

five years I could never forgive myself for what happened. I finally looked

at the police report a few day's ago again for the first time in two years.

Kaltyn is our only child and I devote my life to her as my wife does as well. I

pray day and night for an answer. There are no answers. I beg God daily for

just a glimpse of what lies ahead. I have changed so much over the last few

years. I have had to grow up. I have facest more in the last few years than most

will face in a lifetime. IM not saying that wrong. I just often wonder Am I the

only one that still has these type of feeling this far out after a accident. I

feel as if my heart has been ripped from my chest. As if there is nothing

left to feel anything with anymore. Thank you all for letting me vent. Didn't

mean and hope I didn't upset any of you. It will be hard the next few day's for

me. If you don't hear form me just know IM OK just trying to deal with another

anniversary and trying to cope the only way I know how. This is the time of

year I get really quite and try to reflect on my life and see if there is

something IM doing wrong what it is that GOD wants from me.

My family has went through a lot this year. My brother is going through a

very hard time. We had a rocky relationship Growing up the last few years I was

at home. He was recently in trouble and I think IM guilty of making it worse on

him. I only pry GOD will forgive me. As I look at our lives I know I love him

dearly and hope I didn't cause him future suffering. He was once my Idol

growing up and somewhere along the way something happened and we have never

found

our way back to that point. I only hope he finds his wayhome to be the man I

once looked up to. I really need all my family now more than I ever did. I

think I feel as if he left me and IM having to face this alone when I could have

looked to him for support. Please Guy's pray for us as we think of you all

often. My family My whole family means a lot to me. I wish we were all close

again. Sorry you allhad to hear this. It was the only way I knew to vent.

Darin

[Guest guest]

Darin, I have no answers to your questions of " why? " but I want you

to know that there isn't one person here who doesn't understand where

you are right now or who doesn't ask these same sorts of questions

almost daily. I believe that while you shouldn't dwell in these

feelings, you've most certainly earned your right to have these

feelings and spend a little extra time on them every once in awhile.

Your 5 year anniversary certainly qualifies as once of those times.

But, as said, don't forget to also dwell on all the people you

and Katlyn have helped, all the good you have done, together. All

the lives you and Katlyn have changed, together. All the things you

both have accomplished that you never thought you would or could,

together. The two of you are quite a pair and you should be proud of

everything you both have accomplished. I know we are all proud of

both of you. As for your brother, I do indeed hope that you are able

to repair that relationship as it sounds as though you both need each

other desperately. Perhaps he doesn't know how to find his way home

and needs you to lead him? Perhaps he cannot be your idol anymore

but isn't being your brother enough? I'm sure it is but he might

need you to tell him. Darin, I hope you find peace and I will be

thinking of you.

Lynn

> July 9th marks five years since our accident. <

[Guest guest]

Hi Miss ,

So great to hear from you too sweetie!! I feel as if I have lost touch with

everybody! My post should have read " 5 year anniversary " but I don't know what

happened to it.Yes, it has been a year October 29th that I got married. All

is well. has a 14 year old daughter and 16 year old son and is 15

now. Can you imagine that? His children have both lived with us for 6 months

at a time......now you see why I don't have any time. I've just gotten back

from out of town for Thanksgiving and ended up in Duke emergency room with

on Monday night. He passed out and scared the crap out of me. He has been

on blood thinners for his blood clot (which was caused from his back surgery

in March). He has now been out of work for this entire year. I will be having

surgery on my neck in January so I am trying to get everything prepared now.

I don't use a computer at work at the Post Office and can barely find time

to check my e-mail. You can imagine what work is like this time of year.

I think about you and the boys all the time. I'm glad you sent your phone

number, as I have lost my address book a month ago and I have gone crazy!! I

cannot even send out Christmas cards without it. I guess I'll have to wait and

send cards after I recieve them and get the addresses. Please, if you have

time send me a few numbers of the gang.

Let's try and get together sometime soon, OK? Pick us out a date!

Love ya,

in Raleigh