Guest guest Posted May 16, 2001 Report Share Posted May 16, 2001 In a message dated 5/16/2001 5:15:54 PM Central Daylight Time, gdbs_dad@... writes: .. It's purpose is for fathers to get together once every couple weeks and do hikes with our kids -- mostly so we can get to know other dads in the area and bond with our babies while also giving "mom" some quiet time at home. I wish more dads would be willing to do this kind of bonding! Belinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2001 Report Share Posted May 16, 2001 , It sound to me like he definately already is aware of his daughters head shape, but maybe he is just in denial of it! Maybe he is very sensitive about it. You tried, and thats all that really matters! Good for you....And I like the sounds of your "daddy" group. Cheryl....s Mom-Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2001 Report Share Posted May 16, 2001 HI - first I commend you for the great break you give your wife and the great bonding time you offer your son. What a wonderful thing. Approaching someone is very difficult and I always find you have to tread lightly when you are trying to tell someone there is "something wrong" with their child. I am not sure what conversation you had if any prior to your approach but if the two of you weren't friendly before maybe he was just really apprehensive. Also helmets scare people and the thought of having to put one on your child is much more upsetting than once you have finally done it-atleast it was for me. I am assuming that you had no conversation prior to this encounter so what I would recommend in the future is approaching the gentlemen and saying have you ever seen one of these before (i.e., the helmet) and then explain what it is used for and what plagio is and all of the great benefits helmet therapy can be and the risks of non treatment. Just learning about the condition makes you study your child heads like crazy so that may have been enough to spark his curiosity. Provide as much info as you can about your situation and then let nature take its course so to speak. If he is open to it he is going to ask you questions and if you have opened the avenue with self disclosure he will trust you more and maybe share concerns he might have and then you have helped another soul. I think it is difficult because we don't know if one parent has noticed the other has not if other people have brought it up but his ped gave him the great advice that it will round out on its own- or even better helmet therapy is torture or my all time favorite there is no treatment or if it is a sensitive spot for whatever reason- denial can be a beautiful and blinding thing- hopefully though at the next outing he will free to ask you more questions and maybe you can arrange it with the group to have a little Q & A discussion with the other Dads and offer some general education to them all-spread the word. I commend you for being brave enough to approach him-we plagio parents become awfully passionate don't we?? And that is a noble thing-just keep trying and hopefully you made him think. Who knows maybe at the next outing he will come to you. Good luck and let us know. Beck Mom to banded 3,26,01 Memphis, TN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2001 Report Share Posted May 17, 2001 : Perhaps you just struck a nerve with this fellow? When the public health nurse told me that she thought Hanna should see a neurosurgeon (she was 8 weeks old), I was completely shocked and offended, even tho I knew her head was flat. It wasn't until I went home and started searching the net that I realized she was right. I guess I was just relieved to find that there was help available. If I were you, I wouldn't mention anything more about it directly to him, but make and effort to smile and say "hi" when you gather. If and when he is ready, he will come to you with questions. I think the idea of a group Q & A is a good one. Is there a group leader that you could talk to in private that could maybe strike up a group conversation about Geoffrey's band? After a group discussion, perhaps you could offer to bring the group a simple handout with general information on it (maybe print out the Cranial Tech. Q & A page)? Good luck, and I applaud your gutsy move. I know it couldn't have been easy. Kendra in CanadaFor more plagio info, go towww.plagiocephaly.org/support... ----- Original Message ----- From: gdbs_dad@... Plagiocephaly Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2001 3:14 PM Subject: What do you say when it's obvious? I belong to a group called the "grateful dads" here in northern California. It's purpose is for fathers to get together once every couple weeks and do hikes with our kids -- mostly so we can get to know other dads in the area and bond with our babies while also giving "mom" some quiet time at home.Anyway, I was on a hike this past weekend with Geoffrey (who was wearing his helmet) and there was a young father who was toting his three month-old baby daughter.When we stopped to take our snack/bottle/diaper break, I noticed that the three month-old baby girl's head was completely flat on the back side. It was not to one side or the other -- just completely flat in the back where both the right and left sides were pushed outwards more than they should be. I decided to be bold and ask the father about it -- hoping that I could engage in a disucssion with him and tell him about the helmet Geoffrey was wearing and that it helped a great deal with flat spots.Immediately the father got defensive and told me that her head is not as bad as it looked and that it was not something they worry about at all. With that he walked away and clearly did not want to talk about it. I began to wonder if other people had noticed and he was tired of people noticing -- and if that was the case, why wasn't he concerned.I've seen dozens of kids with plagio and pictures of plagio cases. Just looking at this man's daughter I would classify her as "moderate." Had Geoffrey looked like that when he was three months I would have been REALLY concerned. She's only three months now.... what will she look like at 4, 5, 8, 12 months? I can only assume she will turn into a "severe" case without the parents doing something. I felt so bad for her, but what can you do with the parents don't want to acknowledge something so obvious?(father of Geoffrey)San , CaliforniaFor more plagio info Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2001 Report Share Posted May 17, 2001 , I would say that you did the exact right thing! Even though he brushed it off it surely will give him something to think about. Maybe it will even lead him to mention it to his ped. Of course, he could have one of those ped's that says, " don't worry, it will round out on its own! " I think you did right and really, you can't do anymore than that. From there it will have to be their decision to act. Marci (Mom to ) Oklahoma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2001 Report Share Posted May 18, 2001 Kendra- Good idea! I will ask the group leader if he feels that this could be appropriate at the end or beginning of one of the hikes. Sort of treat it as an educational hike. I've had so many of the other dads ask me (in a good way) about Geoffrey's helmet and what it's for. Most of them think it is recreational and have asked me where they can get one for their kids! I just smile and openly explain what it's for. I will definitely bring this up with the leader as an idea for future hikes. Thanks!! (father to Geoffrey) http://www.gratefuldads.com > I think the idea of a group Q & A is a good one. Is there a group leader that you could talk to in private that could maybe strike up a group conversation about Geoffrey's band? After a group discussion, perhaps you could offer to bring the group a simple handout with general information on it (maybe print out the Cranial Tech. Q & A page)? > Good luck, and I applaud your gutsy move. I know it couldn't have been easy. > Kendra in Canada > For more plagio info, go to > www.plagiocephaly.org/support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2001 Report Share Posted May 18, 2001 You're welcome, , but the credit really goes to who ever had the original idea (sorry, I don't remember who it was!!). I hope it all works out, whether thru a helmet, or naturally. Kendra in CanadaFor more plagio info, go towww.plagiocephaly.org/support... ----- Original Message ----- From: gdbs_dad@... Plagiocephaly Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2001 4:23 PM Subject: Re: What do you say when it's obvious? Kendra-Good idea! I will ask the group leader if he feels that this could be appropriate at the end or beginning of one of the hikes. Sort of treat it as an educational hike.I've had so many of the other dads ask me (in a good way) about Geoffrey's helmet and what it's for. Most of them think it is recreational and have asked me where they can get one for their kids! I just smile and openly explain what it's for.I will definitely bring this up with the leader as an idea for future hikes. Thanks!!(father to Geoffrey)http://www.gratefuldads.com--- In Plagiocephaly@y..., "Kendra" <p-nutsmum@h...> wrote:> I think the idea of a group Q & A is a good one. Is there a group leader that you could talk to in private that could maybe strike up a group conversation about Geoffrey's band? After a group discussion, perhaps you could offer to bring the group a simple handout with general information on it (maybe print out the Cranial Tech. Q & A page)?> Good luck, and I applaud your gutsy move. I know it couldn't have been easy.> Kendra in Canada> For more plagio info, go to> www.plagiocephaly.org/supportFor more plagio info Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2001 Report Share Posted May 18, 2001 : I think it's perfectly normal for the father to be defensive. Especially if he unaware of all the facts. I will admit, when my doc. initially sent us to a neurosurgeon I was very nervous not sure what to expect. My son, Dylan was banded in April. Now, I find myself looking all babies heads and preaching to total strangers about plagio and the purpose of the helmets. Georgia Mommy to Dylan banded April 2001 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2001 Report Share Posted May 23, 2001 Noticed at our CT visit today that they will talk to your parenting group (at least from our location). Maybe your tech/provider would be willing to talk to your group or maybe you could gather some materials and give a presentation? Vicki & Collin Dallas (area) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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