Miss Boop!

[Guest guest]

Don't let it get you down too much, try to be strong, push yourself

to get out if you can at all and do what I told you girl. I am

arthritic, I have pain almost all the time, and I am on the verge of

a lupus diagnosis and sometimes I get into the major blues, but I

find if I give my self a little push to do more and think more

positive I feel better than if I sit at home and let the illness suck

me in. THere are days Like today I am tired and who feels like going

to work ??? But I get up, and I am achy as hell and everything hurts,

even my fingers and toes, but I get up and I go on and push to lead a

normal life and it helps. I know you are sick girl, and you know I

think you can get better and at least you don't have this crazy ANA

like me so that is good, try to get out a little if you can, and

prayer is good, maybe yoga would help you, whatever. try to be more

positive, god still wants you here not dead so you have apurpose in

this life, hang in there and remember I am always here for you

anytime you need to talk day or night you call me ok!

I love you,

In @y..., MissBoop0827@a... wrote:

> patty..thank you again for your pep talks, you truly are a very

nice, kind

> hearted person, to share your time with all of us ill women...and I

thank you

> very much, from the bottom of my heart..I am just not having too

many good

> days(any good days) lately, and do not see much improvement(and am

> still-losing hair-going bald soon?), and my aches and pains are

changing for

> the worse.and seems like my muscles have wasted away(used to

bodybuild),so

> the body image is just as hard as the illness.I am still detoxing,

and hoping

> all goes well, but at the same time, I am preparing myself for the

> worst....the hardest part of this mess is the " self blame " , of that

this is

> all my fault......I have ruined my bueatiful life, as i never took

life for

> granted, and was always an avid prayer, everynite before i went to

sleep,

> thanking god for my health, and my strong body and spirit....it is

soo hard

> to let go of the past, and all of the " would ifs " " that go through

one's

> mind, when they have too much time on their hands alone, and cannot

do

> anything but curl up in bed and stare at the walls sometimes,

because that is

> all I am capable of doing...I must learn to let go of the self

blame, as I

> was always so hard on myself.....I cannot blame anyone else,

because in the

> end it was my final dissision to get implants, and went against

my " bad

> feelings about them " . When I was so bueatiful inside and out, and

did not

> realize that till now....(low self esteem)...as now my esteem is

lower than

> ever...and my breast are ruined and look horrible for life(I know

that is so

> the least of the problem,but it can certainly play mind games with

your

> head)....I have aged 10 years...and my spirit 100.....I am fighting

all I

> can.(but how much fight can one have in them after a while)..just

hoping I

> don't have some underlying terrible disease....I am almost starting

to feel

> arthritic these days.....excpecially in my legs...I am

scared.....would if

> one day I wind up in a wheelchair, because of my dumb mistake! I

know some

> women are worse than me...but i mean this is bad.....I have LOST

everything

> in my life that i worked for,my home, job, savings, health, some so

> called " friends " ..as i had to move back home , and don't know too

many people

> here, so I am alone most of the time..I have more friends in

different

> states(really only 2 friends here..we talk on the phone, but i

never see them

> much), and in this condition, how does one make contact or a social

life,

> when most days I cannot walk down the block? Oh god..life has been

a rough

> journey for me other than this.....but i do not want to get into

that, it is

> another long saga.....NO i do not feel bad for myself, nor do i

want anyone

> else to.....I just really needed to vent right now , and wonder if

anyone is

> going through the same. " I feel like I am living death " right

now...andd

> cannot wait to start living again, and this time, do everything

right..I have

> almost died twice in my life, and survived, and never really

thought about

> it......just kinda got up, survived, and went on..but this is so

> different...when i thought i was going to die, i panicked, but knew

i would

> be safe with god, and was not half as scared as going through

this...living

> everyday in pain, agony and lonliness(as it makes me worse when

people say,

> it could be worse, you could be dead)...what is worse..living

isolated sick ,

> suffering lonely for the rest of your life, or being with god,

living in

> internal peace...I am so sick of peoples dumb ass

comments.....Anyway thank

> you for the vent.....that is all I gotta say about

that......xoxoxoo

> teresa.....May better days of health and happiness be on it's way

for

> everyone!!!!!