A bad day

[Guest guest]

((((((((((Melinda)))))))))))))

a bad day

hey ya'll.

Im having a bad day. So i needed someone to " Talk " too. I know im not

doing too good. I was watching a movie, and something sad happened and i

broke down and totally bawled. I keep hitting these brick walls. If its not

one thing its another. My heart is beating a mile a min and it just feels

like its going to thump right out of my chest.

Im afraid for my future. Afraid about where im going to live. Afraid ill

never stop crying ever. Im just trying to make it thru the day minute by

minute cause thats all i can take. Thinking any further ahead just hurts

too much. So much pressure. in two weeks ill have all the things i cherish(

other than my husband) taken away or put away. All my things will be in a

storage thing out on some lot. My cats will be with my husbands

grandmother. i still have my fish and my dog, if my fish makes it thru the

move. And if i can make it living with my mother in law for 2-3 weeks. Its

hard enough being with her for a few hours. The thought of not having a

home of my own to go to is really really scarry for me. I feel so alone.

Anyway. thanks for " listening "

Melinda

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~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

" Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what

you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you

must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if

it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Aww, (((((Melinda))))), bless your heart! I'm so sorry, wish I could

help. Can you try to think of it as an adventure, or a new start?

Its " only a few weeks " - if you dont think about MIL. Oh, God help me,

I'm afraid one of us wouldnt come out alive if I had to live with

mine. But you are so sweet, she will be nice to you. And when you get

to unpack your boxes, it will be like Christmas, and you'll get to

rearrange all your wonderful things in your new home. It will get

better, you hang in there, you can do this.

I got some glittery pipe cleaners & some pony beads, for the

grandkids to make candy cane ornaments- something cheap & easy to

keep " El Destructo " busy & happy. Well I ended up making wreaths, &

angels, & stars- great mindless busywork while I couldnt read. Have

been battling one of those headaches from hell & not doing much but

crying myself. It really helped, I have to get more pipe cleaners.

Maybe you can lose yourself in some crafts while you're there, or

maybe even get MIL interested- the only time mine is not bitching.

Hope tomorrow is better. Love,

> hey ya'll.

> Im having a bad day. So i needed someone to " Talk " too. I

know im not

> doing too good. I was watching a movie, and something sad happened

and i

> broke down and totally bawled. I keep hitting these brick walls. If

its not

> one thing its another. My heart is beating a mile a min and it just

feels

> like its going to thump right out of my chest.

> Im afraid for my future. Afraid about where im going to live.

Afraid ill

> never stop crying ever. Im just trying to make it thru the day

minute by

> minute cause thats all i can take. Thinking any further ahead just

hurts

> too much. So much pressure. in two weeks ill have all the things i

cherish(

> other than my husband) taken away or put away. All my things will

be in a

> storage thing out on some lot. My cats will be with my husbands

> grandmother. i still have my fish and my dog, if my fish makes it

thru the

> move. And if i can make it living with my mother in law for 2-3

weeks. Its

> hard enough being with her for a few hours. The thought of not

having a

> home of my own to go to is really really scarry for me. I feel so

alone.

> Anyway. thanks for " listening "

> Melinda

[Guest guest]

big hugs to you mel. Things will look better soon.....they will.

~~

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the

affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one

life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

a bad day

hey ya'll.

Im having a bad day. So i needed someone to " Talk " too. I know im not

doing too good. I was watching a movie, and something sad happened and i

broke down and totally bawled. I keep hitting these brick walls. If its not

one thing its another. My heart is beating a mile a min and it just feels

like its going to thump right out of my chest.

Im afraid for my future. Afraid about where im going to live. Afraid ill

never stop crying ever. Im just trying to make it thru the day minute by

minute cause thats all i can take. Thinking any further ahead just hurts

too much. So much pressure. in two weeks ill have all the things i cherish(

other than my husband) taken away or put away. All my things will be in a

storage thing out on some lot. My cats will be with my husbands

grandmother. i still have my fish and my dog, if my fish makes it thru the

move. And if i can make it living with my mother in law for 2-3 weeks. Its

hard enough being with her for a few hours. The thought of not having a

home of my own to go to is really really scarry for me. I feel so alone.

Anyway. thanks for " listening "

Melinda

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

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~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what

you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you

must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if

it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Thanks . Im trying to think of it as an adventure. ITs a good thing

his parents are doing the loan for the house and backing us up or the park

wouldnt have let us in because of our bad credit. Mind you we've never

missed a rent payment. But that didnt matter. So i just wait for the next

wall to come up so i can figure out how to get around that one too.

Melinda

ps. thanks for saying im sweet

At 11:01 PM 11/16/01 +0000, you wrote:

>Aww, (((((Melinda))))), bless your heart! I'm so sorry, wish I could

>help. Can you try to think of it as an adventure, or a new start?

>Its " only a few weeks " - if you dont think about MIL. Oh, God help me,

>I'm afraid one of us wouldnt come out alive if I had to live with

>mine. But you are so sweet, she will be nice to you. And when you get

>to unpack your boxes, it will be like Christmas, and you'll get to

>rearrange all your wonderful things in your new home. It will get

>better, you hang in there, you can do this.

>I got some glittery pipe cleaners & some pony beads, for the

>grandkids to make candy cane ornaments- something cheap & easy to

>keep " El Destructo " busy & happy. Well I ended up making wreaths, &

>angels, & stars- great mindless busywork while I couldnt read. Have

>been battling one of those headaches from hell & not doing much but

>crying myself. It really helped, I have to get more pipe cleaners.

>Maybe you can lose yourself in some crafts while you're there, or

>maybe even get MIL interested- the only time mine is not bitching.

>Hope tomorrow is better. Love,

[Guest guest]

melinda-I don't know you well enough yet to understand the circumstances

but am so sorry that you are going to have to go through all of this.

carol

On Fri, 16 Nov 2001 15:09:11 -0500 Melinda Sprague

<mydragon@...> writes:

> hey ya'll.

> Im having a bad day. So i needed someone to " Talk " too. I

> know im not

> doing too good. I was watching a movie, and something sad happened

> and i

> broke down and totally bawled. I keep hitting these brick walls. If

> its not

> one thing its another. My heart is beating a mile a min and it just

> feels

> like its going to thump right out of my chest.

> Im afraid for my future. Afraid about where im going to live. Afraid

> ill

> never stop crying ever. Im just trying to make it thru the day

> minute by

> minute cause thats all i can take. Thinking any further ahead just

> hurts

> too much. So much pressure. in two weeks ill have all the things i

> cherish(

> other than my husband) taken away or put away. All my things will be

> in a

> storage thing out on some lot. My cats will be with my husbands

> grandmother. i still have my fish and my dog, if my fish makes it

> thru the

> move. And if i can make it living with my mother in law for 2-3

> weeks. Its

> hard enough being with her for a few hours. The thought of not

> having a

> home of my own to go to is really really scarry for me. I feel so

> alone.

> Anyway. thanks for " listening "

> Melinda

>

>

> ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

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>

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> http://www.dreamwater.net/lovingmemory/

>

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> receive.

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> to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of

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> ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

>

> “Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on

> to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold

> on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on

> to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

>

> ~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Melinda,

{{{{{{{{{ MELINDA }}}}}}}}}

I'm sorry you have to go through all this, take care! I am sure things will

improve!

Ling

a bad day

hey ya'll.

Im having a bad day. So i needed someone to " Talk " too. I know im not

doing too good. I was watching a movie, and something sad happened and i

broke down and totally bawled. I keep hitting these brick walls. If its not

one thing its another. My heart is beating a mile a min and it just feels

like its going to thump right out of my chest.

Im afraid for my future. Afraid about where im going to live. Afraid ill

never stop crying ever. Im just trying to make it thru the day minute by

minute cause thats all i can take. Thinking any further ahead just hurts

too much. So much pressure. in two weeks ill have all the things i cherish(

other than my husband) taken away or put away. All my things will be in a

storage thing out on some lot. My cats will be with my husbands

grandmother. i still have my fish and my dog, if my fish makes it thru the

move. And if i can make it living with my mother in law for 2-3 weeks. Its

hard enough being with her for a few hours. The thought of not having a

home of my own to go to is really really scarry for me. I feel so alone.

Anyway. thanks for " listening "

Melinda

[Guest guest]

I am So Sorry Melinda !!! I didn't see this post till it appeared from someone else !!!

How are you feeling NOW !!!! Crying is Good !!! It will be alright ... I know easier said than done... Living with the in laws is hard to do, especially when you don't get along anyways... But turn it around in your favor !!! They are doing you a big thing by helping with the house, right ? Well, have her help to pick out paint colors or do a project for the house and have her help...Ya keep them occupied they have a harder time finding fault ) Just an idea... Visit Grama... Go to the library and go online so you can talk to us !!! Read Books... All kinds of things to do ) Missing your belongings, that's a hard one ( Keep out a couple of special things and put them on your nightstand, to remind yourself that you will have your OWN Home very soon !!! I Do Feel for ya Sweetie !!! It is Hard...

{{{ Many Hugs and Love your Way }}}

Helen

..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:- -):-

-:¦:- (( °º¤

«:¨`v´¨)::» °..··..*.. ·· ..°

*..·°-:¦:- `v´*Helen *-:¦:- °·..*

* °.. ·· ..*.. ·· ..° *..

hey ya'll. Im having a bad day. So i needed someone to "Talk" too. I know im not doing too good. I was watching a movie, and something sad happened and i broke down and totally bawled. I keep hitting these brick walls. If its not one thing its another. My heart is beating a mile a min and it just feels like its going to thump right out of my chest. :(Im afraid for my future. Afraid about where im going to live. Afraid ill never stop crying ever. Im just trying to make it thru the day minute by minute cause thats all i can take. Thinking any further ahead just hurts too much. So much pressure. in two weeks ill have all the things i cherish( other than my husband) taken away or put away. All my things will be in a storage thing out on some lot. My cats will be with my husbands grandmother. i still have my fish and my dog, if my fish makes it thru the move. And if i can make it living with my mother in law for 2-3 weeks. Its hard enough being with her for a few hours. The thought of not having a home of my own to go to is really really scarry for me. I feel so alone. :(Anyway. thanks for "listening"Melinda

[Guest guest]

Hehe my mother in law and i dont get along too well because we are almost

exactally alike. But shes alot more controlling. And i intended to spend

time with His grand mother too baking. I like to bake

Im in alot of pain today. My hand and ring finger have been hurting me

for almost a month now. Guess im going to have to go to the dr.s. ick.

And all that moving of stuff on sat hurt too. My knees were shaking and i

was sweating like a pig. But we got some stuff moved out.

Thanks to everybody whos been so supportive to me. I really need it.

Melinda

At 02:30 AM 11/18/01 -0500, you wrote:

I am

So Sorry Melinda !!! I didn't see this post till it appeared from

someone else !!!

How are you feeling NOW !!!! Crying is Good !!!

It will be alright ... I know easier said than done... Living with

the in laws is hard to do, especially when you don't get along anyways...

But turn it around in your favor !!! They are doing you a big thing

by helping with the house, right ? Well, have her help to pick out

paint colors or do a project for the house and have her help...Ya keep

them occupied they have a harder time finding fault ) Just an

idea... Visit Grama... Go to the library and go online so you can

talk to us !!! Read Books... All kinds of things to do

) Missing your belongings, that's a hard one ( Keep out a

couple of special things and put them on your nightstand, to remind

yourself that you will have your OWN Home very soon !!! I Do Feel

for ya Sweetie !!! It is Hard...

{{{ Many Hugs and Love your Way }}}

Helen

..·

´¨¨))

-:¦:-

¸.·´

..·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´

...·´

-:¦:-

-):-

-:¦:-

((

°º¤

«:¨`v´¨)::»

°..··..*..

··

...°

*..·°-:¦:-

`v´*Helen

*-:¦:-

°·..*

*

°.. ··

...*..

·· ..°

*..

hey ya'll. Im having a bad day. So i needed someone

to " Talk " too. I know im not doing too good. I was watching a

movie, and something sad happened and i broke down and totally bawled. I

keep hitting these brick walls. If its not one thing its another. My

heart is beating a mile a min and it just feels like its going to thump

right out of my chest. :(Im afraid for my future. Afraid about where im

going to live. Afraid ill never stop crying ever. Im just trying to make

it thru the day minute by minute cause thats all i can take. Thinking any

further ahead just hurts too much. So much pressure. in two weeks ill

have all the things i cherish( other than my husband) taken away or put

away. All my things will be in a storage thing out on some lot. My cats

will be with my husbands grandmother. i still have my fish and my dog, if

my fish makes it thru the move. And if i can make it living with my

mother in law for 2-3 weeks. Its hard enough being with her for a few

hours. The thought of not having a home of my own to go to is really

really scarry for me. I feel so alone. :(Anyway. thanks for

" listening " Melinda

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

The Being Sick Community

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To modify your subscription settings please visit:-

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-unsubscribe

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to

what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your

life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Larry, I would say this is the prototype of a BAD day!!!!

You may be sure that prayers will go up for yu. You don't need this on top

of everything else..... Just stay close to God and depend totally on Him

for everything. He'll give you the strength that you need.

BIG HUGS

Liz

~~~~~~

" Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think

freely, to risk life, and to be needed. " **Storm on**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EMAIL: juliette@... **ICQ 49746198** MSN-LizKP1952@...

PERSONAL HOMEPAGE PAGE http://members.tripod.com/~LizK

ADDult ADD GROUP PAGE: http://members.tripod.com/~LizK/addult.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Guest guest]

On Aug 20, 2004, at 8:11 PM, Larry Driy wrote:

<description of wife financially out of control with addictive

compulsive spending behavior of OPM despite large salary>

Larry I hope your wife is getting some counseling and psychotherapy..

it will look good to the court if she is getting the help she needs

proactively without it being court mandated. Though they might mandate

it to continue.

best of luck

mike

--

Mike Rock

http://www.mike-rock.com

[Guest guest]

Dear Larry,

I do pray for you. Having this disease and the stress your problems with

the court system will bring, will probably make you feel worse for a while. I

am glad you are going to stick by your wife. My son is in a prison rehab now.

It has been hard, especially since I had to put him there for theft and drug

use. Believe me, the uphill road is hard, but you will get through it with

love. Try to focus on that and take it one day at a time. Your post title, " A

Bad Day " is almost laughable.....a bad day? A catastrophe would be closer to

the truth! I will be thinking of you. Sincerely, Debby

A Bad Day

Hi Group

I had a bad day today. My wife was arrested 2 weeks ago and is out on her own

good record,but today the local newspaper called and is putting everything in

the paper tomorrow. She embezzled a lot of $$$$$ from a car dealership where she

worked as the " comptroller " . She didn't take the $$$ for her self but for her

charity AMBUC's, & every one who worked there got a bonus. She make the

dealership look so good on paper, that every one got bonus', it was the bonus's

and the charity that got most of the $1,250,000.00. I'm a retired engineer on

SSDI who didn't see this at all. She was making $100,000.yr and we were living

good. Now she is working and only makes $25,000/yr and owes $40,000 on charge

cards. They tried to charge me for awhile but could find nothing with my

signature on it.Now I'm also being sued in civil court for $250.000. along with

my wife and some others for the $$$$ by an Insurance Co. that had to cover the

cost of this mess.Our dog is sick. I have about $1200.00 in

savings left in the bank and thats the bottom of the barrel. Tomorrow the

paper comes out and what ever reputation I had in town after 30yrs of public

service (I worked for the city) as an engineer is out the window too. I love my

wife, she is my third one all the others left me. I will not leave her. I plan

to weather this storm, just like I have my disability. Please pray for my wife

and I to get through this mess. We are hoping against hope that she gets

probation.Thank You Larry

[Guest guest]

Hello all. Not a good day today. I went out with some friends last nite. Only to

run into my ex and who I can only presume is his new gf. Dont understand why he

was there, since he knows its a place I frequent, and about a 45 min drive from

where he lives. We were polite to each other.But ouch really stung. Woke up this

morning not in much of a BFL mood. For the first time since I started this

challenge. (Tomorrow starts week 6) I forced myself out of bed and made some

fortified french toast and a protein shake for meal 2. Really had to force

bothdown. I dont eat when Im upset like this. Hope I can force down 5 more

meals. Today is my rest day, hopefully getting out of bed early tomorrow for my

HIIT and abs wont be as painful as today. Just need some motivation I guess.

Anyone got any?

[Guest guest]

Good job sticking to BFL today! Fabulous! The best thing you can

do for yourself is to stay on BFL like you did so if there is a next

time you bump into him you will feel so overly confident that it

won't hurt so bad! You have so much to look forward to! Spending

time with yourself, a new healthy lifestyle, meeting new people,

etc...

Keep up the good work!!!

>

>

>

> Hello all. Not a good day today. I went out with some friends last

nite. Only to run into my ex and who I can only presume is his new

gf. Dont understand why he was there, since he knows its a place I

frequent, and about a 45 min drive from where he lives. We were

polite to each other.But ouch really stung. Woke up this morning not

in much of a BFL mood. For the first time since I started this

challenge. (Tomorrow starts week 6) I forced myself out of bed and

made some fortified french toast and a protein shake for meal 2.

Really had to force bothdown. I dont eat when Im upset like this.

Hope I can force down 5 more meals. Today is my rest day, hopefully

getting out of bed early tomorrow for my HIIT and abs wont be as

painful as today. Just need some motivation I guess. Anyone got any?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

oopsy i meant 4 more meals...

thanks for the support. im trying not to let this set me back, as i would love

to see his face when i get fit. i dont really bindge eat when im upset tho, i

dont eat at all. so today will be a challenge.

-------------- Original message --------------

From: jennifer_ann_t <no_reply >

Good job sticking to BFL today! Fabulous! The best thing you can

do for yourself is to stay on BFL like you did so if there is a next

time you bump into him you will feel so overly confident that it

won't hurt so bad! You have so much to look forward to! Spending

time with yourself, a new healthy lifestyle, meeting new people,

etc...

Keep up the good work!!!

>

>

>

> Hello all. Not a good day today. I went out with some friends last

nite. Only to run into my ex and who I can only presume is his new

gf. Dont understand why he was there, since he knows its a place I

frequent, and about a 45 min drive from where he lives. We were

polite to each other.But ouch really stung. Woke up this morning not

in much of a BFL mood. For the first time since I started this

challenge. (Tomorrow starts week 6) I forced myself out of bed and

made some fortified french toast and a protein shake for meal 2.

Really had to force bothdown. I dont eat when Im upset like this.

Hope I can force down 5 more meals. Today is my rest day, hopefully

getting out of bed early tomorrow for my HIIT and abs wont be as

painful as today. Just need some motivation I guess. Anyone got any?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Re: Re: a bad day

> oopsy i meant 4 more meals...

> thanks for the support. im trying not to let this set me back, as i would

> love to see his face when i get fit.

I'm new here but I had to come out of lurking and reply to this. I

sympathize with you. I was dumped recently by a guy I really cared about. I

thought he was the *one*. I know my excess weight had a lot to do with why

he dumped me from some of the things he said to me.

I plan to send him a pic of me in a bathing suit when I get to my goal

weight.

Keep your spirits up and do not let that chance meeting spoil your efforts.

BTW I'm 44, 443 pounds (bad I know) and just started BFL.

I've been eating clean for a week now and tomorrow is my first workout.

[Guest guest]

welcome jaime! i don't post a whole bunch either, but i just wanted to give you

some encouragement as someone who started with a lot of weight to lose. i

started at 320 and i'm down to 230. i've still got a ways to go obviously, but

i'm still working at it after a year and a half. that alone is a huge

accomplishment for me.

this program is great for the long term -- 12 weeks at a time ;-). this

program gives you access to redefine your entire life! you can do this!!

congratulations on one week of clean eating, and i'm so excited for you to start

working out. it might be akward at first and your body will hurt a lot

afterwards, but you will learn to love it. remember, we're here for support

whenever you need it...

beth u

<reddrose@...> wrote:

Re: Re: a bad day

> oopsy i meant 4 more meals...

> thanks for the support. im trying not to let this set me back, as i would

> love to see his face when i get fit.

I'm new here but I had to come out of lurking and reply to this. I

sympathize with you. I was dumped recently by a guy I really cared about. I

thought he was the *one*. I know my excess weight had a lot to do with why

he dumped me from some of the things he said to me.

I plan to send him a pic of me in a bathing suit when I get to my goal

weight.

Keep your spirits up and do not let that chance meeting spoil your efforts.

BTW I'm 44, 443 pounds (bad I know) and just started BFL.

I've been eating clean for a week now and tomorrow is my first workout.

[Guest guest]

I do worry about the future, if things get more difficult to do, do I hire someone to clean house, etc. And how long can I work and be able to afford that? And then the depression of not being able to do for oneself. I'm not 50 yet. Where will I be at 70? It scares the daylights out of me. And I'm hurting this week also, I think because of the weather. My right hand tingles today too. Weird. I don't usually have that. I'm looking at the house, thinking it really needs cleaning but I'm no way up for it. And then I look outside, think about all the plantings I used to do that I no longer can do. Ach.

A Bad Day

Hello Everyone:I am posting now because I had a very bad day today. I was in pain contnually all day. Not only does my spine (lower and upper) hurt, but I am having pain and numbness in my arm and shoulder - with tingling in my fingers.Whenever I get to this point of pain and of course depression my mind wanders dramatically. I invariably think about the future and what is going to happen as I get older.Does anyone else ever think about the ramifications of not being able to stand up straight? How far can your spine pitch forward? Will I begin to look like the little old ladies you see in ads for osteoporosis who are walking with their heads facing the ground? Will a wheelchair be necessary?I realize these questions are rather morbid, but I guess that is how I am feeling at the moment. Any thoughts on the matter?

[Guest guest]

I do the same thing.

I can hire a cleaning lady at $100 a visit twice a month--she only

does bathrooms, kitchen, and laundry.

I'm on Disability.

I look at the front and back yards, which need weeding. But my back

hurts, and my energy is low. Vicodin and Celebrex help, but make me

sleepy. Maybe I'll wait until June to try.

Our weather in California is very weird; sunny one day, rainy the

next. My arthritis and Sciatica are acting up. Accupuncture helps a

bit, but that's $50 a visit.

On the other hand, I TIVO'ed Frontline, about the guy with ALS. At

least I can move and talk.

NB

At 02:08 PM 4/4/2007, you wrote:

>I do worry about the future, if things get more difficult to do, do

>I hire someone to clean house, etc. And how long can I work and be

>able to afford that? And then the depression of not being able to do

>for oneself. I'm not 50 yet. Where will I be at 70? It scares the

>daylights out of me. And I'm hurting this week also, I think because

>of the weather. My right hand tingles today too. Weird. I don't

>usually have that. I'm looking at the house, thinking it really

>needs cleaning but I'm no way up for it. And then I look outside,

>think about all the plantings I used to do that I no longer can do. Ach.

[Guest guest]

----- Yes, there is always someone worse off. And I try to reflect on that on these days. But it's still so hard. And on the outside, I look pretty normal. People (including some of my own family) don't understand why I have limitations. I've had people ridicule me because I wouldn't do activities they wanted me to do, such as cheerleading with my girl scouts or exercising at a motivational meeting. My own brothers make fun of my laziness.

[Guest guest]

At 02:31 PM 4/4/2007, you wrote:

>----- Yes, there is always someone worse off. And I try to reflect

>on that on these days. But it's still so hard. And on the outside, I

>look pretty normal. People (including some of my own family) don't

>understand why I have limitations. I've had people ridicule me

>because I wouldn't do activities they wanted me to do, such as

>cheerleading with my girl scouts or exercising at a motivational meeting.

I've had people stare when I use my handicap placard and park in a

space. I had a woman question me, and I said, " I'm disabled. I can't

walk far. "

For those people, it's best just to say, " I can't, because I'm

disabled. " It's very hard to label yourself that, but it shuts them up quick.

>My own brothers make fun of my laziness.

Thank God I'm an only child!

As for them, I'd swear at them!

:-)

NB

[Guest guest]

Amen.

Re: A Bad Day

At 02:31 PM 4/4/2007, you wrote:>----- Yes, there is always someone worse off. And I try to reflect >on that on these days. But it's still so hard. And on the outside, I >look pretty normal. People (including some of my own family) don't >understand why I have limitations. I've had people ridicule me >because I wouldn't do activities they wanted me to do, such as >cheerleading with my girl scouts or exercising at a motivational meeting.I've had people stare when I use my handicap placard and park in a space. I had a woman question me, and I said, "I'm disabled. I can't walk far."For those people, it's best just to say, "I can't, because I'm disabled." It's very hard to label yourself that, but it shuts them up quick.>My own brothers make fun of my laziness.Thank God I'm an only child!As for them, I'd swear at

them!:-)NB

[Guest guest]

,

Despite all you are going through right now, you have a wonderful attitude.

You pointed out some good things along with the bad, and that's what keeps me

going. I have had it rough for about 7 months now and it is also rare for me to

be blue about it. However, sometimes it's more than you can take!

Just wanted you to know, if it means anything... that reading your email

lifted my spirits a bit, reminding me that there are positive things around me

along with all the despair I sometimes feel. This morning I fell again (2nd

time in 2 weeks) and I sat there sucking air as all the toes on my left foot had

been scraped, feeling like a loser. But you know what? I am thinking it's a

good thing I didn't break them or sprain my darn fool ankle again.

Hang in there, . Good luck with a new Rheumy and keep us posted.

Gail (KY)

wrote:

Good morning everyone. I'm having a horrible day (ok, year) and I'm in

one of my very rare " poor me " moods. On top of Still's, I have degenerative disk

disease. Seven years ago I herniated a disk, had surgery and recovered very

well. This year I re-herniated it (January) and had much more extensive surgery

where the doctor had to also (gulp) scrape the sciatic nerve root to remove scar

tissue. I've lost much of the function and feeling in my left leg and, at 34,

walk with a cane. In the last three weeks I've fallen twice (stupid numb leg)

and have managed to tear my rotator cuff in my left arm. The blessing? I'm right

handed. (sigh)

I've had one significant flare in all of this where the fevers hit hard and the

rash has been here and gone a dozen times, but ever since the surgery (April),

and disregarding that flare, I've just not been " well " . Does this make sense?

I've felt horrible, just achy and ... well ... not well. The blessing? I've lost

27 pounds since mid-summer. I haven't been to see my rheumy because I need a new

one; the guy's just not the one for me. So my PCP has been treating me, but

wants me to get back to a rheumy. Why does this feel like re-entering the dating

pool? )

I've returned to work part-time, but I'm thinking it's time for me to consider

quitting work, at least for a while. The financial impact is terrifying.

My hubby is AWESOME, but somehow, sometimes, it just seems like he doesn't get

it. I know that some good has and will come from this mess, but I guess I just

don't want to feel so alone today.

Hugs to everyone,

---------------------------------

Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows.

Yahoo! Answers - Check it out.

[Guest guest]

,

Despite all you are going through right now, you have a wonderful attitude.

You pointed out some good things along with the bad, and that's what keeps me

going. I have had it rough for about 7 months now and it is also rare for me to

be blue about it. However, sometimes it's more than you can take!

Just wanted you to know, if it means anything... that reading your email

lifted my spirits a bit, reminding me that there are positive things around me

along with all the despair I sometimes feel. This morning I fell again (2nd

time in 2 weeks) and I sat there sucking air as all the toes on my left foot had

been scraped, feeling like a loser. But you know what? I am thinking it's a

good thing I didn't break them or sprain my darn fool ankle again.

Hang in there, . Good luck with a new Rheumy and keep us posted.

Gail (KY)

wrote:

Good morning everyone. I'm having a horrible day (ok, year) and I'm in

one of my very rare " poor me " moods. On top of Still's, I have degenerative disk

disease. Seven years ago I herniated a disk, had surgery and recovered very

well. This year I re-herniated it (January) and had much more extensive surgery

where the doctor had to also (gulp) scrape the sciatic nerve root to remove scar

tissue. I've lost much of the function and feeling in my left leg and, at 34,

walk with a cane. In the last three weeks I've fallen twice (stupid numb leg)

and have managed to tear my rotator cuff in my left arm. The blessing? I'm right

handed. (sigh)

I've had one significant flare in all of this where the fevers hit hard and the

rash has been here and gone a dozen times, but ever since the surgery (April),

and disregarding that flare, I've just not been " well " . Does this make sense?

I've felt horrible, just achy and ... well ... not well. The blessing? I've lost

27 pounds since mid-summer. I haven't been to see my rheumy because I need a new

one; the guy's just not the one for me. So my PCP has been treating me, but

wants me to get back to a rheumy. Why does this feel like re-entering the dating

pool? )

I've returned to work part-time, but I'm thinking it's time for me to consider

quitting work, at least for a while. The financial impact is terrifying.

My hubby is AWESOME, but somehow, sometimes, it just seems like he doesn't get

it. I know that some good has and will come from this mess, but I guess I just

don't want to feel so alone today.

Hugs to everyone,

---------------------------------

Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows.

Yahoo! Answers - Check it out.

[Guest guest]

HI

Sorry you are having such a rough time lately. I kinda know how you feel.

This disease makes me feel so alone and depressed sometimes. Like noone

understands me. Most people think there is nothing wrong with me, and the ones

who do

care think I'm an invalid. So glad there are people here who understand. That

sciatic nerve thing sounded horrible (ouch). Hope you are feeling better soon.

</HTML>

[Guest guest]

Hello

I am so sorry that you are feeling so low at the moment although I am not

surprised with what you are having to put up with.It is strange when you say

to someone thatyou do not feel well, I often say that to my husband and he

always says – well what do you mean, do you feel sick or have a headache or

feel weak, there must be something you feel. It is so difficult to explain

it unless you feel that way yourself.

I also find that I sometimes feel sad after I have done something I have

enjoyed. We went to the ballet at saddlers wells in London last Saturday

and it was quite a simple journey a bit of walking but not much. Anyway cut

a long story short, we really enjoyed it and got home no problems but from

then on and all the next day I was exhausted and got to thinking how most of

the other people at the theatre would not even think it such an ordeal. I

know I must be thankful that I could manage even that but sometimes it goes

home that stills is ever present and maybe that is one of these sort of

moments you are feeling at the moment.

I am really just writing to try and say that I am sure all of us at

different times and different circumstances feel a little bit sorry for our

position we wouldn’t be human otherwise. I hope this makes sense If not I

wish you well and hope you improve soon.

Best wishes

Joan U.K.

_____

From: Stillsdisease [mailto:Stillsdisease ]

On Behalf Of

Sent: 21 September 2007 13:18

To: Stillsdisease

Subject: A Bad Day

Good morning everyone. I'm having a horrible day (ok, year) and I'm in one

of my very rare " poor me " moods. On top of Still's, I have degenerative disk

disease. Seven years ago I herniated a disk, had surgery and recovered very

well. This year I re-herniated it (January) and had much more extensive

surgery where the doctor had to also (gulp) scrape the sciatic nerve root to

remove scar tissue. I've lost much of the function and feeling in my left

leg and, at 34, walk with a cane. In the last three weeks I've fallen twice

(stupid numb leg) and have managed to tear my rotator cuff in my left arm.

The blessing? I'm right handed. (sigh)

I've had one significant flare in all of this where the fevers hit hard and

the rash has been here and gone a dozen times, but ever since the surgery

(April), and disregarding that flare, I've just not been " well " . Does this

make sense? I've felt horrible, just achy and ... well ... not well. The

blessing? I've lost 27 pounds since mid-summer. I haven't been to see my

rheumy because I need a new one; the guy's just not the one for me. So my

PCP has been treating me, but wants me to get back to a rheumy. Why does

this feel like re-entering the dating pool? )

I've returned to work part-time, but I'm thinking it's time for me to

consider quitting work, at least for a while. The financial impact is

terrifying.

My hubby is AWESOME, but somehow, sometimes, it just seems like he doesn't

get it. I know that some good has and will come from this mess, but I guess

I just don't want to feel so alone today.

Hugs to everyone,

---------------------------------

Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who

knows.

Yahoo! Answers - Check it out.