Support.... Previously posted in FiestyScolioFlatbackers....

[Guest guest]

This was posted in The Fiesty Forum but someone suggested I post it

here too....

Hello Everyone!

Well, I joined this group becuase my partner of 5 years is getting

ready to have Revision surgery with Dr Rand in Boston, MA and we

both joined to get support and information in what she was about to

go through.

We moved up here from Florida almost two years ago. She has quit

smoking, seen Dr Rand a few times, gone through a mylegram, and

other tests and she set a surgery date with Dr Rand for October

10th. Since then, it has been a rollercoaster ride to say the least.

She has been up and down so much. It was like everything she was

going through (pain, dr appts, etc) has been surreal and when she

got the letter in the mail from his office the other day confirming

everything, she broke down and emotionally lost it. It was like that

letter made it all real in her mind she was really going through

this all over again. (Her first Harrington Rod surgery was in 1979)

It has been a long hard road on both of us, and sometimes she feels

so alone because I just cant understand it all and A LOT of times I

feel alone because I dont understand it all and I dont know what I

can do to help her. I will always be there to listen, hold her hand,

rub her back and do what ever she needs me to do. But there have

been many MANY times that I cry my whole way to work (a 20 minute

ride) because I feel like I cant do enough and no one understands

what I am going through being there but feeling like my hands are

tied most of the time.

I know most of you are going through what she is and some may

actually be in worse shape then she is. Her surgery is going to be

done in 1 12-15 hour surgery from L4-S1 with Pelvic Implants. We

have 1 last meeting with Rand at the end of August and then her

prescreening on Sept 19th.

Anyway, I guess what my issues are, is I am wondering what else we

can do to make her more comfortable. We went to his fusion class

(which was just bad for her because she was the worst case scenario

and we both could see everyone looking at her like she was walking

to her death sentence). We have a lot of questions to ask him and

the prescreening people. One thing I was wondering, Rand's response

about me needing to be home with her after surgery was that all I

have to do is leave everything on counter level before I go to work.

Can someone answer me that has been through this HOW REALISTIC IS

THAT??? (Oh, and he also stated that she will be able to walk up the

flight of stairs to our bedrooms or should we set up a bedroom for

her downstairs??)

Anyway, I am scared, I know she is scared and is there anyone else

here who is supporting there loved one through this that might be

able to give me advice or has been through this already that can

give me advice on what I can do to make this easier for her. I just

dont know what to expect after her surgery and what else I will be

able to do to help her before and after her surgery.

Thanks for all your help and my prayers are out to all of you going

through this. You are all very strong and couragous people and are

in my thoughts.

M.

Lawrence, MA

[Guest guest]

,

My heart goes out to you and your partner. Best to realize you are

not alone. Unfortunately, most spouses or partners do not post but

those having surgery, contemplating and or otherwise are here to

help. I am three months post op though Rand did not do my surgery,

Glazer, Boston, MA did and lots and lots of people here had Rand.

One, I think a resting place and/or bed on the same level as the

kitchen and bathroom is a must. Yes, she will probably need help and

or care depending on how well she responds for at least a week or

two after surgery, until she can get to the bathroom on her own and

fix food: ie, waist level in refigerator or on the counter. Stuff

you will need: my goodness, a good resting chair, recliner of sorts.

Grabbers for picking up things, shower chair, toilet riser, support

for getting on and off the toilet. Start her on stool softners with

the doctors permission a week before surgery. TV and or computer

access to resting place. It is a long hard road. She will need

plenty of support of friends and family if possible. The best is a

schedule. You came to the right place. Go to files on the left side.

See the chapters on questions for the surgeon, what to bring to the

hospital and read the post op journal that Cam and I left there. It

will give you a good idea on how the patient recovers. Tell her to

log in, my God without the emotional support of this group, I would

have been in the dust. You also should feel free to log in of

course. My hunny suffered much, mostly he felt like you, helpless,

like his hands were tied. Best thing you can do is be honest, tell

her when she is getting out of line, reassure her of her reasons for

having surgery and that your there for her. Mostly, just be there if

you can. Take care and fire away any questions you might have.

Remind her of one thing for me, this is her hope of a life with

quality and Boston is the place for it. Chin up.

, " beltanegrrl " <beltanegrrl@...>

wrote:

>

> This was posted in The Fiesty Forum but someone suggested I post

it

> here too....

>

> Hello Everyone!

>

> Well, I joined this group becuase my partner of 5 years is getting

> ready to have Revision surgery with Dr Rand in Boston, MA and we

> both joined to get support and information in what she was about to

> go through.

>

> We moved up here from Florida almost two years ago. She has quit

> smoking, seen Dr Rand a few times, gone through a mylegram, and

> other tests and she set a surgery date with Dr Rand for October

> 10th. Since then, it has been a rollercoaster ride to say the

least.

>

> She has been up and down so much. It was like everything she was

> going through (pain, dr appts, etc) has been surreal and when she

> got the letter in the mail from his office the other day confirming

> everything, she broke down and emotionally lost it. It was like

that

> letter made it all real in her mind she was really going through

> this all over again. (Her first Harrington Rod surgery was in 1979)

>

> It has been a long hard road on both of us, and sometimes she feels

> so alone because I just cant understand it all and A LOT of times I

> feel alone because I dont understand it all and I dont know what I

> can do to help her. I will always be there to listen, hold her

hand,

> rub her back and do what ever she needs me to do. But there have

> been many MANY times that I cry my whole way to work (a 20 minute

> ride) because I feel like I cant do enough and no one understands

> what I am going through being there but feeling like my hands are

> tied most of the time.

>

> I know most of you are going through what she is and some may

> actually be in worse shape then she is. Her surgery is going to be

> done in 1 12-15 hour surgery from L4-S1 with Pelvic Implants. We

> have 1 last meeting with Rand at the end of August and then her

> prescreening on Sept 19th.

>

> Anyway, I guess what my issues are, is I am wondering what else we

> can do to make her more comfortable. We went to his fusion class

> (which was just bad for her because she was the worst case scenario

> and we both could see everyone looking at her like she was walking

> to her death sentence). We have a lot of questions to ask him and

> the prescreening people. One thing I was wondering, Rand's response

> about me needing to be home with her after surgery was that all I

> have to do is leave everything on counter level before I go to

work.

> Can someone answer me that has been through this HOW REALISTIC IS

> THAT??? (Oh, and he also stated that she will be able to walk up

the

> flight of stairs to our bedrooms or should we set up a bedroom for

> her downstairs??)

>

> Anyway, I am scared, I know she is scared and is there anyone else

> here who is supporting there loved one through this that might be

> able to give me advice or has been through this already that can

> give me advice on what I can do to make this easier for her. I just

> dont know what to expect after her surgery and what else I will be

> able to do to help her before and after her surgery.

>

> Thanks for all your help and my prayers are out to all of you going

> through this. You are all very strong and couragous people and are

> in my thoughts.

>

> M.

> Lawrence, MA

>

[Guest guest]

,

Your partner is lucky to have someone as caring as you. 's email said it all, but I would add that a hospital bed would be helpful at the beginning. It makes getting in and out of bed a lot easier.

Bonnie

[ ] Re: Support.... Previously posted in FiestyScolioFlatbackers....

,My heart goes out to you and your partner. Best to realize you are not alone. Unfortunately, most spouses or partners do not post but those having surgery, contemplating and or otherwise are here to help. I am three months post op though Rand did not do my surgery, Glazer, Boston, MA did and lots and lots of people here had Rand. One, I think a resting place and/or bed on the same level as the kitchen and bathroom is a must. Yes, she will probably need help and or care depending on how well she responds for at least a week or two after surgery, until she can get to the bathroom on her own and fix food: ie, waist level in refigerator or on the counter. Stuff you will need: my goodness, a good resting chair, recliner of sorts. Grabbers for picking up things, shower chair, toilet riser, support for getting on and off the toilet. Start her on stool softners with the doctors permission a week before surgery. TV and or computer access to resting place. It is a long hard road. She will need plenty of support of friends and family if possible. The best is a schedule. You came to the right place. Go to files on the left side. See the chapters on questions for the surgeon, what to bring to the hospital and read the post op journal that Cam and I left there. It will give you a good idea on how the patient recovers. Tell her to log in, my God without the emotional support of this group, I would have been in the dust. You also should feel free to log in of course. My hunny suffered much, mostly he felt like you, helpless, like his hands were tied. Best thing you can do is be honest, tell her when she is getting out of line, reassure her of her reasons for having surgery and that your there for her. Mostly, just be there if you can. Take care and fire away any questions you might have. Remind her of one thing for me, this is her hope of a life with quality and Boston is the place for it. Chin up. , "beltanegrrl" <beltanegrrl@...> wrote:>> This was posted in The Fiesty Forum but someone suggested I post it > here too.... > > Hello Everyone!> > Well, I joined this group becuase my partner of 5 years is getting> ready to have Revision surgery with Dr Rand in Boston, MA and we> both joined to get support and information in what she was about to> go through.> > We moved up here from Florida almost two years ago. She has quit> smoking, seen Dr Rand a few times, gone through a mylegram, and> other tests and she set a surgery date with Dr Rand for October> 10th. Since then, it has been a rollercoaster ride to say the least.> > She has been up and down so much. It was like everything she was> going through (pain, dr appts, etc) has been surreal and when she> got the letter in the mail from his office the other day confirming> everything, she broke down and emotionally lost it. It was like that> letter made it all real in her mind she was really going through> this all over again. (Her first Harrington Rod surgery was in 1979)> > It has been a long hard road on both of us, and sometimes she feels> so alone because I just cant understand it all and A LOT of times I> feel alone because I dont understand it all and I dont know what I> can do to help her. I will always be there to listen, hold her hand,> rub her back and do what ever she needs me to do. But there have> been many MANY times that I cry my whole way to work (a 20 minute> ride) because I feel like I cant do enough and no one understands> what I am going through being there but feeling like my hands are> tied most of the time.> > I know most of you are going through what she is and some may> actually be in worse shape then she is. Her surgery is going to be> done in 1 12-15 hour surgery from L4-S1 with Pelvic Implants. We> have 1 last meeting with Rand at the end of August and then her> prescreening on Sept 19th.> > Anyway, I guess what my issues are, is I am wondering what else we> can do to make her more comfortable. We went to his fusion class> (which was just bad for her because she was the worst case scenario> and we both could see everyone looking at her like she was walking> to her death sentence). We have a lot of questions to ask him and> the prescreening people. One thing I was wondering, Rand's response> about me needing to be home with her after surgery was that all I> have to do is leave everything on counter level before I go to work.> Can someone answer me that has been through this HOW REALISTIC IS> THAT??? (Oh, and he also stated that she will be able to walk up the> flight of stairs to our bedrooms or should we set up a bedroom for> her downstairs??)> > Anyway, I am scared, I know she is scared and is there anyone else> here who is supporting there loved one through this that might be> able to give me advice or has been through this already that can> give me advice on what I can do to make this easier for her. I just> dont know what to expect after her surgery and what else I will be> able to do to help her before and after her surgery.> > Thanks for all your help and my prayers are out to all of you going> through this. You are all very strong and couragous people and are> in my thoughts.> > M.> Lawrence, MA>

[Guest guest]

--,

I had Rand, don't buy the shower chair yet...he did not want me to

buy one...he wanted me to just stand under the shower....he told me

he felt I might twist too much in a shower chair, I know each case

is different but I woul hold off until she is in rehab and you and

your partner have achance to ask Rand. The rehab supplier can get you

whatever you needs before she leaves the hospital. Just me 2 cents!!!

, PA

- In , " redmarmie " <vclark@...> wrote:

>

> ,

>

> My heart goes out to you and your partner. Best to realize you are

> not alone. Unfortunately, most spouses or partners do not post but

> those having surgery, contemplating and or otherwise are here to

> help. I am three months post op though Rand did not do my surgery,

> Glazer, Boston, MA did and lots and lots of people here had Rand.

> One, I think a resting place and/or bed on the same level as the

> kitchen and bathroom is a must. Yes, she will probably need help

and

> or care depending on how well she responds for at least a week or

> two after surgery, until she can get to the bathroom on her own and

> fix food: ie, waist level in refigerator or on the counter. Stuff

> you will need: my goodness, a good resting chair, recliner of

sorts.

> Grabbers for picking up things, shower chair, toilet riser, support

> for getting on and off the toilet. Start her on stool softners with

> the doctors permission a week before surgery. TV and or computer

> access to resting place. It is a long hard road. She will need

> plenty of support of friends and family if possible. The best is a

> schedule. You came to the right place. Go to files on the left

side.

> See the chapters on questions for the surgeon, what to bring to the

> hospital and read the post op journal that Cam and I left there. It

> will give you a good idea on how the patient recovers. Tell her to

> log in, my God without the emotional support of this group, I would

> have been in the dust. You also should feel free to log in of

> course. My hunny suffered much, mostly he felt like you, helpless,

> like his hands were tied. Best thing you can do is be honest, tell

> her when she is getting out of line, reassure her of her reasons

for

> having surgery and that your there for her. Mostly, just be there

if

> you can. Take care and fire away any questions you might have.

> Remind her of one thing for me, this is her hope of a life with

> quality and Boston is the place for it. Chin up.

>

> , " beltanegrrl " <beltanegrrl@>

> wrote:

> >

> > This was posted in The Fiesty Forum but someone suggested I post

> it

> > here too....

> >

> > Hello Everyone!

> >

> > Well, I joined this group becuase my partner of 5 years is getting

> > ready to have Revision surgery with Dr Rand in Boston, MA and we

> > both joined to get support and information in what she was about

to

> > go through.

> >

> > We moved up here from Florida almost two years ago. She has quit

> > smoking, seen Dr Rand a few times, gone through a mylegram, and

> > other tests and she set a surgery date with Dr Rand for October

> > 10th. Since then, it has been a rollercoaster ride to say the

> least.

> >

> > She has been up and down so much. It was like everything she was

> > going through (pain, dr appts, etc) has been surreal and when she

> > got the letter in the mail from his office the other day

confirming

> > everything, she broke down and emotionally lost it. It was like

> that

> > letter made it all real in her mind she was really going through

> > this all over again. (Her first Harrington Rod surgery was in

1979)

> >

> > It has been a long hard road on both of us, and sometimes she

feels

> > so alone because I just cant understand it all and A LOT of times

I

> > feel alone because I dont understand it all and I dont know what I

> > can do to help her. I will always be there to listen, hold her

> hand,

> > rub her back and do what ever she needs me to do. But there have

> > been many MANY times that I cry my whole way to work (a 20 minute

> > ride) because I feel like I cant do enough and no one understands

> > what I am going through being there but feeling like my hands are

> > tied most of the time.

> >

> > I know most of you are going through what she is and some may

> > actually be in worse shape then she is. Her surgery is going to be

> > done in 1 12-15 hour surgery from L4-S1 with Pelvic Implants. We

> > have 1 last meeting with Rand at the end of August and then her

> > prescreening on Sept 19th.

> >

> > Anyway, I guess what my issues are, is I am wondering what else we

> > can do to make her more comfortable. We went to his fusion class

> > (which was just bad for her because she was the worst case

scenario

> > and we both could see everyone looking at her like she was walking

> > to her death sentence). We have a lot of questions to ask him and

> > the prescreening people. One thing I was wondering, Rand's

response

> > about me needing to be home with her after surgery was that all I

> > have to do is leave everything on counter level before I go to

> work.

> > Can someone answer me that has been through this HOW REALISTIC IS

> > THAT??? (Oh, and he also stated that she will be able to walk up

> the

> > flight of stairs to our bedrooms or should we set up a bedroom for

> > her downstairs??)

> >

> > Anyway, I am scared, I know she is scared and is there anyone else

> > here who is supporting there loved one through this that might be

> > able to give me advice or has been through this already that can

> > give me advice on what I can do to make this easier for her. I

just

> > dont know what to expect after her surgery and what else I will be

> > able to do to help her before and after her surgery.

> >

> > Thanks for all your help and my prayers are out to all of you

going

> > through this. You are all very strong and couragous people and are

> > in my thoughts.

> >

> > M.

> > Lawrence, MA

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

I forwarded your post to my husband, Adam. He said he'd reply to you

privately. It may take him a few days, but he will reply.

I admire your commitment and desire to do the best you can. Hang in

there. Adam says slowly but surely it does get a little better.

kam

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks so much, I was very happy to hear that. I actually sat down

with (who is misgrrl on here) and she has new hope again. It

has been hard because she has been so ANTI-social lately because she

has been getting worse and worse and she hates people showing her

pity (which a lot of people do when you explain this surgery

unfortunately) It is tough because since we are not from up here the

only people we have to help is our roommates (which have been

friends of hers forever)but they are both so flighty it is hard to

depend on either of them for when she gets out of the hospital and I

am so scared that I will have to go back to work and no one will be

home to help her and she will still need that. I am looking at

taking a Family Medical Leave, but that means no income outside of

her Disability check which is not much. It is tough and we are both

feeling the strain from that too. I try to take most of the stress

away from her, but then I make it worse because I keep it all inside

and she feels like I am not talking to her anymore.....

It is really hard right now. So, thanks for the support everyone has

been really helpful here.

> >

> > This was posted in The Fiesty Forum but someone suggested I post

> it

> > here too....

> >

> > Hello Everyone!

> >

> > Well, I joined this group becuase my partner of 5 years is

getting

> > ready to have Revision surgery with Dr Rand in Boston, MA and we

> > both joined to get support and information in what she was about

to

> > go through.

> >

> > We moved up here from Florida almost two years ago. She has quit

> > smoking, seen Dr Rand a few times, gone through a mylegram, and

> > other tests and she set a surgery date with Dr Rand for October

> > 10th. Since then, it has been a rollercoaster ride to say the

> least.

> >

> > She has been up and down so much. It was like everything she was

> > going through (pain, dr appts, etc) has been surreal and when she

> > got the letter in the mail from his office the other day

confirming

> > everything, she broke down and emotionally lost it. It was like

> that

> > letter made it all real in her mind she was really going through

> > this all over again. (Her first Harrington Rod surgery was in

1979)

> >

> > It has been a long hard road on both of us, and sometimes she

feels

> > so alone because I just cant understand it all and A LOT of

times I

> > feel alone because I dont understand it all and I dont know what

I

> > can do to help her. I will always be there to listen, hold her

> hand,

> > rub her back and do what ever she needs me to do. But there have

> > been many MANY times that I cry my whole way to work (a 20 minute

> > ride) because I feel like I cant do enough and no one understands

> > what I am going through being there but feeling like my hands are

> > tied most of the time.

> >

> > I know most of you are going through what she is and some may

> > actually be in worse shape then she is. Her surgery is going to

be

> > done in 1 12-15 hour surgery from L4-S1 with Pelvic Implants. We

> > have 1 last meeting with Rand at the end of August and then her

> > prescreening on Sept 19th.

> >

> > Anyway, I guess what my issues are, is I am wondering what else

we

> > can do to make her more comfortable. We went to his fusion class

> > (which was just bad for her because she was the worst case

scenario

> > and we both could see everyone looking at her like she was

walking

> > to her death sentence). We have a lot of questions to ask him and

> > the prescreening people. One thing I was wondering, Rand's

response

> > about me needing to be home with her after surgery was that all I

> > have to do is leave everything on counter level before I go to

> work.

> > Can someone answer me that has been through this HOW REALISTIC IS

> > THAT??? (Oh, and he also stated that she will be able to walk up

> the

> > flight of stairs to our bedrooms or should we set up a bedroom

for

> > her downstairs??)

> >

> > Anyway, I am scared, I know she is scared and is there anyone

else

> > here who is supporting there loved one through this that might be

> > able to give me advice or has been through this already that can

> > give me advice on what I can do to make this easier for her. I

just

> > dont know what to expect after her surgery and what else I will

be

> > able to do to help her before and after her surgery.

> >

> > Thanks for all your help and my prayers are out to all of you

going

> > through this. You are all very strong and couragous people and

are

> > in my thoughts.

> >

> > M.

> > Lawrence, MA

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Kam I really appreciate it. I look forward to hearing from your

husband, I have been feeling so alone. The more I have been trying to

keep outside stresses from (ie, financial, my work, etc) the

worse it seems to be because she feels distance between us. It seems I

am not great at balancing everything.

>

> ,

>

> I forwarded your post to my husband, Adam. He said he'd reply to you

> privately. It may take him a few days, but he will reply.

>

> I admire your commitment and desire to do the best you can. Hang in

> there. Adam says slowly but surely it does get a little better.

>

> kam

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

After 9 days in the hospital, I was sent to inpatient rehab because I still could not get in and out of bed by myself or use the bathroom by myself. They would not send me home until I could do those things, as well as walk a flight of steps. Most people can, though. It just took me another 2 weeks to gain enough strength to do those things. By the time gets home, either directly from the hospital or from rehab, she will probably need someone to help her shower and prepare her meals. I could probably have managed by myself in the house during the day, but I was still weak and was afraid to be alone for a whole day.. We hired a home health aide for 4 hours a day, five days a week ,for a month. . She helped me bathe and change clothes, changed my sheets, prepared lunch, started dinner and "supervised" my walks around the house. While not cheap by any means, it was cheaper to hire a home health aide than have my husband stay home all day. It worked out very well.

Bonnie

From: beltanegrrl

Sent: Sunday, July 23, 2006 8:58 PM

Subject: [ ] Re: Support.... Previously posted in FiestyScolioFlatbackers....

, Thanks so much, I was very happy to hear that. I actually sat down with (who is misgrrl on here) and she has new hope again. It has been hard because she has been so ANTI-social lately because she has been getting worse and worse and she hates people showing her pity (which a lot of people do when you explain this surgery unfortunately) It is tough because since we are not from up here the only people we have to help is our roommates (which have been friends of hers forever)but they are both so flighty it is hard to depend on either of them for when she gets out of the hospital and I am so scared that I will have to go back to work and no one will be home to help her and she will still need that. I am looking at taking a Family Medical Leave, but that means no income outside of her Disability check which is not much. It is tough and we are both feeling the strain from that too. I try to take most of the stress away from her, but then I make it worse because I keep it all inside and she feels like I am not talking to her anymore..... It is really hard right now. So, thanks for the support everyone has been really helpful here.> >> > This was posted in The Fiesty Forum but someone suggested I post > it > > here too.... > > > > Hello Everyone!> > > > Well, I joined this group becuase my partner of 5 years is getting> > ready to have Revision surgery with Dr Rand in Boston, MA and we> > both joined to get support and information in what she was about to> > go through.> > > > We moved up here from Florida almost two years ago. She has quit> > smoking, seen Dr Rand a few times, gone through a mylegram, and> > other tests and she set a surgery date with Dr Rand for October> > 10th. Since then, it has been a rollercoaster ride to say the > least.> > > > She has been up and down so much. It was like everything she was> > going through (pain, dr appts, etc) has been surreal and when she> > got the letter in the mail from his office the other day confirming> > everything, she broke down and emotionally lost it. It was like > that> > letter made it all real in her mind she was really going through> > this all over again. (Her first Harrington Rod surgery was in 1979)> > > > It has been a long hard road on both of us, and sometimes she feels> > so alone because I just cant understand it all and A LOT of times I> > feel alone because I dont understand it all and I dont know what I> > can do to help her. I will always be there to listen, hold her > hand,> > rub her back and do what ever she needs me to do. But there have> > been many MANY times that I cry my whole way to work (a 20 minute> > ride) because I feel like I cant do enough and no one understands> > what I am going through being there but feeling like my hands are> > tied most of the time.> > > > I know most of you are going through what she is and some may> > actually be in worse shape then she is. Her surgery is going to be> > done in 1 12-15 hour surgery from L4-S1 with Pelvic Implants. We> > have 1 last meeting with Rand at the end of August and then her> > prescreening on Sept 19th.> > > > Anyway, I guess what my issues are, is I am wondering what else we> > can do to make her more comfortable. We went to his fusion class> > (which was just bad for her because she was the worst case scenario> > and we both could see everyone looking at her like she was walking> > to her death sentence). We have a lot of questions to ask him and> > the prescreening people. One thing I was wondering, Rand's response> > about me needing to be home with her after surgery was that all I> > have to do is leave everything on counter level before I go to > work.> > Can someone answer me that has been through this HOW REALISTIC IS> > THAT??? (Oh, and he also stated that she will be able to walk up > the> > flight of stairs to our bedrooms or should we set up a bedroom for> > her downstairs??)> > > > Anyway, I am scared, I know she is scared and is there anyone else> > here who is supporting there loved one through this that might be> > able to give me advice or has been through this already that can> > give me advice on what I can do to make this easier for her. I just> > dont know what to expect after her surgery and what else I will be> > able to do to help her before and after her surgery.> > > > Thanks for all your help and my prayers are out to all of you going> > through this. You are all very strong and couragous people and are> > in my thoughts.> > > > M.> > Lawrence, MA> >>

[Guest guest]

,

I am not far from you Lowell actually. i would be glad to get

together with you and if it would help.

> > >

> > > This was posted in The Fiesty Forum but someone suggested I

post

> > it

> > > here too....

> > >

> > > Hello Everyone!

> > >

> > > Well, I joined this group becuase my partner of 5 years is

> getting

> > > ready to have Revision surgery with Dr Rand in Boston, MA and

we

> > > both joined to get support and information in what she was

about

> to

> > > go through.

> > >

> > > We moved up here from Florida almost two years ago. She has

quit

> > > smoking, seen Dr Rand a few times, gone through a mylegram, and

> > > other tests and she set a surgery date with Dr Rand for October

> > > 10th. Since then, it has been a rollercoaster ride to say the

> > least.

> > >

> > > She has been up and down so much. It was like everything she

was

> > > going through (pain, dr appts, etc) has been surreal and when

she

> > > got the letter in the mail from his office the other day

> confirming

> > > everything, she broke down and emotionally lost it. It was

like

> > that

> > > letter made it all real in her mind she was really going

through

> > > this all over again. (Her first Harrington Rod surgery was in

> 1979)

> > >

> > > It has been a long hard road on both of us, and sometimes she

> feels

> > > so alone because I just cant understand it all and A LOT of

> times I

> > > feel alone because I dont understand it all and I dont know

what

> I

> > > can do to help her. I will always be there to listen, hold her

> > hand,

> > > rub her back and do what ever she needs me to do. But there

have

> > > been many MANY times that I cry my whole way to work (a 20

minute

> > > ride) because I feel like I cant do enough and no one

understands

> > > what I am going through being there but feeling like my hands

are

> > > tied most of the time.

> > >

> > > I know most of you are going through what she is and some may

> > > actually be in worse shape then she is. Her surgery is going

to

> be

> > > done in 1 12-15 hour surgery from L4-S1 with Pelvic Implants.

We

> > > have 1 last meeting with Rand at the end of August and then her

> > > prescreening on Sept 19th.

> > >

> > > Anyway, I guess what my issues are, is I am wondering what

else

> we

> > > can do to make her more comfortable. We went to his fusion

class

> > > (which was just bad for her because she was the worst case

> scenario

> > > and we both could see everyone looking at her like she was

> walking

> > > to her death sentence). We have a lot of questions to ask him

and

> > > the prescreening people. One thing I was wondering, Rand's

> response

> > > about me needing to be home with her after surgery was that

all I

> > > have to do is leave everything on counter level before I go to

> > work.

> > > Can someone answer me that has been through this HOW REALISTIC

IS

> > > THAT??? (Oh, and he also stated that she will be able to walk

up

> > the

> > > flight of stairs to our bedrooms or should we set up a bedroom

> for

> > > her downstairs??)

> > >

> > > Anyway, I am scared, I know she is scared and is there anyone

> else

> > > here who is supporting there loved one through this that might

be

> > > able to give me advice or has been through this already that

can

> > > give me advice on what I can do to make this easier for her. I

> just

> > > dont know what to expect after her surgery and what else I

will

> be

> > > able to do to help her before and after her surgery.

> > >

> > > Thanks for all your help and my prayers are out to all of you

> going

> > > through this. You are all very strong and couragous people and

> are

> > > in my thoughts.

> > >

> > > M.

> > > Lawrence, MA

> > >

> >

>