A different point of view.

[Guest guest]

I would like to share some thoughts that I have had over the last week or so

after reading the posts. I know that there is a lot of frustration toward

schools and teachers and I just wanted to provide a different point of view for

concideration. This is not meant to upset anyone who is having problems with

their child.

When my son started having trouble and getting diagnosed I was completely

ignorant to most special needs issues. I will admit that I thought ADHD was an

excuse for parents not knowing how to parent. I was a complete snob about it

and thought that they were all a bunch of kids that needed a little discipline.

Well then my son was diagnosed ADHD and I had to shift my perspective. I had to

learn, very quickly what ADHD was really all about. As it turned out my son was

not really ADHD it was a symptom of his AS (which is not uncommon for the

diagnosis to get tweeked as they get older.)

So I had years to learn first about ADHD and later about PDD's and AS with the

help of many different specialists. The Psychologists, Psychiatrist and

Neuropsycological testing all helped me to understand why my son does what he

does and learn techniques for dealing with them.

I don't understand why as a group of parent that have gone to hell and back

again trying to learn about our own children and their disability we are so

uncompasionate toward others who don't understand. We come together as parents

every day/week to ask each other for help yet we expect the teachers and schools

to immediately know what to do. Even if the teachers have had some experience

with Autism, Aspergers, PDD, ADHD, ODD or OCD they have never dealt with a child

that is just like mine. Because they are all different. That is the nature of

how AS affects them.

Furthermore, if you have ever taken time to really talk to any of teachers and

administrators you will find that often times they are dealing with a lot of

other children and parents beside just YOUR child. Many time they are dealing

with parents who refuse to see their child as having any problem at all and just

expect the school to handle it.

Then they have the laws to deal with. The school can't just decide to treat

your child different because they see a need. Have you ever sat down and read

the Federal or State laws or the school district policy. It is just like

running a business everything must be documented and all children must be held

to the same rules unless they have been placed into and IEP or Accomodation

plan. If they don't dot the i's and cross the t's they can get sued.

Of course the schools must also look at the money part. But, if your child is

in special ed they get extra money for that. If you have not done your part to

get them in special ed than it is going to cost the district money to provide

services and they are not likely to agree. They don't do this because they want

to keep the money for themselves. There is a limited pool of money that they

have to work with and the aren't going to get more by going out to the " stash "

in the back.

I believe that there are some very BAD teachers and school districts out there.

But there are also some very good ones (I happen to be in one of them). Most

are somewhere in between. I believe that most teachers have a good heart and

want to help children but they are also just people who make mistakes. Not all

of my childrens teachers have been great some have not even been very good. I

just try to really help them to learn from my son so they will be better with

the next child that comes along with a disability.

I know that this sounds preachy and some of you will be angry after reading it

but I really felt compelled to write. If even one person can stop and put

yourself in someone elses shoes for a minute maybe we can make progress toward

having better schools for every child.

I believe in doing my part of my sons education which is making sure that my son

is diagnosed and treated properly. I do this by working with the doctors. I

work hard to educate the school district as to my sons disablity and how it

affects his education. And I hold the school accountable to follow the law. The

law is really on our side if we do our part.

I hope I have not upset anyone to much.

Vickie