Need help w/ 9 year old son and his anger

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Have you had any success in helping your child be able to identify that they are upset before it's too far gone? Is it a word a technique??? My son says he won't use a break card at school as he's already too mad and won't go up to show the teacher. As far as the emotion, do you know what i mean, the time when they first feel some twinge of anger--but way before a meltdown. How can I help my son identify that feeling inside him so that he can ask for help or a break? This is a major issue and I see the school failing miserably and wonder what I can suggest since they have zippo, nada, nothing, to offer my boy This could be for home, but the problem is always at school. Any help deeeeeeeeeply appreciated