Does your child do well in school, but not in the Community?

October 22, 2010

Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when they do "well" in school, but not in the community. Just because the proper environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results are achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the child.

In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented it in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have even gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me "being the one with the mental illness, fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization". All of which is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports, services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for everything.

Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?

Denel

Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary

Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting confirmation on Aspergers due to age)

(R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)

October 22, 2010

Holy crap woman, what state do you live in? This is horrible to hear a parent being treated this way. What school district is allowed to get away with such reckless behavior towards a parent? It in part comes down to document everything and get it in your child's record so the school can't say, oh, the parent never told us....

On Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 12:31 PM, Blessed Mom <blessedmom1305@...> wrote:

Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when they do " well " in school, but not in the community. Just because the proper environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results are achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the child.

In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented it in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have even gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me " being the one with the mental illness, fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization " . All of which is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports, services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for everything.

Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?

Denel

Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary

Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting confirmation on Aspergers due to age)

(R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)

October 22, 2010

My son just went through the process of trying to qualify for preschool services

at our school district, which were denied. While nobody was blaming me for

anything, I did sense a certain skepticism from the school district

psychologist. The implication was that there were a lot more concerns revealed

in my parent questionnaires than she saw firsthand (gee, that couldn't be

because she has spent a grand total of 2 hours with him and I live with my

son!). My son's developmental therapist forwarded me an email conversation they

had in which the school psych asked if she had witnessed any of the social

problems or if it was all based on " the mother's report " . Fortunately, the

developmental therapist has worked with my son in peer situations, so she was

able to affirm that the concerns in report were based on her firsthand

observations, not my accounts - which apparently don't count for much. It's

definitely frustrating to have people doubt you when you are trying so hard to

help your child in any way you can. Sorry to hear you have been dealing with

that at your son's school.

Bridget

>

> Seems that many parents are being blamed for their child's issues when they

> do " well " in school, but not in the community. Just because the proper

> environment, with the right supports are in place and positive results are

> achieved - does NOT mean the illness, issues etc do not exist for the child.

>

> In my case, the school has blamed me (personally at meetings, documented it

> in FBA reports, and in front of my advocates at IEP meetings) They have even

> gone so far as filing 2 complaints 51A's with DCF (Dept of Children and

> Fanilies, formely DSS) accusing me " being the one with the mental illness,

> fabricating my son's issues and causing his hospitalization " . All of which

> is untrue. We have tons, and always have had wraoparound supports,

> services, therapies etc and I am the parent who advocates for everything.

>

> Is anyone else dealing with this parent blame?

>

> Denel

> Blessed Mom to 5.10 year old Zachary

> Mood Disorder - NOS, Sensory Integration, PDD-NOS, (awaiting confirmation on

> Aspergers due to age)

> (R/O Bipolar, ODD, ADHD)

>

October 23, 2010

,

Mass in a city called Malden, which has

had some severe budget cuts taking away the integrated kindergarten we

had. I understand budget, but that’s not my problem right? I

have everything documented and a paper trail. My son’s case is

huge. I am a Paralegal too so I have that going for me. I think you

put “advocating paralegal mom” with a school disctrict that ignored

behaviors and you get blamed.

Trust me when this all blows over, formal

complaints will be filed, I will take it to the newspapers, TV etc…

anyone who will listen. This is a great platform to shine a light on this

type of (you are correct to call it) reckless behavior. How dare they

right? Shame on them. I mean, if I was blatantly abusing or

neglecting my child I could see their concern but these people are all WELL

aware of what I have done for my child and how I have fought for services.

I’m telling ya, I don’t have

mental issues (its its documented) but I am going to with all this undue stress

they are placing on me. And it’s a good think Im a Christian

because I wanted to fly across the table and show them what “mental

illness” looked like!

Denel

Thanks for letting me vent