suggestions Re: defiance & meltdowns with shower every night

[Guest guest]

I asked my son's special ed teacher about some of our issues with our boy (he

has started his transition into new school - is doing distance ed for most part

temporarily).

She said one mistake we are making is talking about him when he is there, which

gives him opportunity to play on it/try to make excuses.

Another is " don't make threats; make promises " and be superconsistent eg my

husband would threaten a punishment if he got to 10, but then in frustration,

doled out the punishment when got to 7 (and of course, son cried foul for good

reason).

In practise, this means what ever you say happens, so for my 7 year old, we say

he is having a shower/bath and he will, even if it means both of us parents have

to hold him in for 30 seconds fully clothed (she said count down from 3 first,

going to zero, not up to 10).

We are being a bit stricter with our son too when he melts down - he had

meltdown over " nothing " other day and starting swearing and hitting me (the

blocks I've learnt in Taekwondo came in handy for protecting myself). I was

very steely about him not getting what he wanted plus did not let him affect me

physically/emotionally; how no emotion, but don't let him succeed in attack - I

removed him from room, he came out, I removed him until he gave up - it fizzed

out quickly (sometimes is easier to remove oneself - physically/emotionally). No

point trying to reason or dialogue during meltdown.

Of course this is not easy to consistently do, especially when one is exhausted

and feeling fragile.

Miranda

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> > > does anyone else have this problem?

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> > > Every night our son is oppostional defiant, argumentative, and even has

meltdowns about getting in the shower (or bath). Once in, he doesn't want to get

out (and does the whole oppostional, defiant, meltdown thing again). So

frustrating

> > >

> > > Miranda

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> >

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