Middle School

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/19/2005 8:06:52 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

cindysue@... writes:

I may go ahead and file the OCR complaint

What is this ??

Loree

[Guest guest]

Office of Civil Rights - used when discrimination is at issue.

I got a call from the Director of Special Ed just moments after I posted

this - she worked on the issue and resolved it. I do not know who the

person was who made the decision to let leave school early-the

director of transportation sounded just as upset as I was (said they try

this every year) and the VP was sweet as can be (hummmmm...maybe the guilty

one). I'm getting tired of decisions being made without parental imput or

consent. I still am going to research OCR this week.

got home at 3:48 today. School lets out at 3:43 and I am ok with

him getting out 2-3 minutes before the others - but I need to see if it

really only takes 7-8 minutes for the bus to reach our house. Tomorrow, one

of us will be watching from the school parking lot while the other sits at

home and waits.

[Guest guest]

Yeah!!! Thanks for sharing the good news.

Khris

>

> Thank you all for your support! did great for his first day -

> a little anxious but I don't think anything out of the ordinary for

> any kid first day/new school.

[Guest guest]

Hi Ide, so sorry this is happening. I have 3 sons (only one with Aspergers) and

with all 3 of my sons I just always told them if anyone pressured them about

dating (or rather that they didn't date yet) to just say I said they couldn't

date until age XX (whatever age they wanted to use). Even in 8th grade my sons

weren't yet (well, at least 2 of them) having girlfriends, tho probably some

they liked. Sigh, my Aspie still hasn't had one, he's 21 now! His twin

(typical) had his first girlfriend in...9th grade I think, might have been 10th

but think 9th. At age 11, just me, I'd have said " no " to dating anyway, I was

just lucky none of them were wanting to at ages 11, 12, even 13.

Now that he knows a girl might actually " like him " is he seeming more interested

in maybe getting a girlfriend?

If any of this is happening during classtime, you can bring it to the attention

of the teacher(s), call a meeting. You can still let them know anyway if it's

happening between classes, at lunch, etc.

Just some quick thoughts, (((hugs))) to your son!

>

> Need advise.  My son, 11, and in middle school.  He is very inmature and the

other boys are already into " girls " .  He is in 6th grade and was told that a 7th

grader female wanted to meet him in the janitor's closet to make out.  He did

not go but was really scared about it.  Now he is being called " gay " .  When we

asked him told him that he says he doesn't know the name of the kid(s).  He

really have bad memory for names just like my husband.  I think they tease him a

lot with girl stuff and he freaks out a lot.  He comes home with lots of

questions.  We try to answer them as honest as we can.

>

> Any experience with this.  What should we do? 

>

> Ide

>

[Guest guest]

I hat to say it, but I do.

I am going to venture a guess that a gropu at school has realized that your son

is " not quite " like everyone else. They have probably already tested him with

small tasks to see if he would do them to become their friend. This has

happenend to my DS so many times I have lost track. The last incicent was with

at the bus stop and a group of boys told a story that my DS had touched a girl's

breast. This story spread so quickly around school, that the dean of students

got involved.

It ended with the girl becoming my DS's friend as she understood everything that

happened and did not hold it against him. The other boys were suspended

(including the boy who's father kept insisting that " my son is an honor student

and would not lie " . His son did lie)

Keep the school informed. Help your son improve his memory. I do this when my DS

tells me about things at school to encourage him to use a person's name. He

eventually remembers the name and then can relate this when the incident

involves that person. It does take my DS a few weeks to remember the names of

his classmates. When he does, he does not forget them or mix them up with other

people.

I always reassure my DS that he does not have to be like the others. That it is

ok to know a lot about baseball, Legos, Star Wars, drawing and other activities.

I am sure that you will get more on this post. If you have a special ed teacher

at school, clue them in and help your son watch for this kind of stuff. The more

eyes, the better. Then the administration at the school will have to follow

through.

Janice in Wisconsin

---- " Idelice A. Haack " <haackia@...> wrote:

> Need advise.  My son, 11, and in middle school.  He is very inmature and

the other boys are already into " girls " .  He is in 6th grade and was told that

a 7th grader female wanted to meet him in the janitor's closet to make out.  He

did not go but was really scared about it.  Now he is being called " gay " . 

When we asked him told him that he says he doesn't know the name of the

kid(s).  He really have bad memory for names just like my husband.  I think

they tease him a lot with girl stuff and he freaks out a lot.  He comes home

with lots of questions.  We try to answer them as honest as we can.

>

> Any experience with this.  What should we do? 

>

> Ide

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ide,

I’d

like to share my three reactions with you, probably number 3 is the most important.

The bullies found something that

creates a reaction, girls. This makes them feel powerful.

In my teaching experience in different schools, the bullies

keep trying different people and topics until they get the reaction.

You can help your son by working on his reaction. (It

won’t be perfect or change overnight but it will help.) Our speech

therapist helps students with this.

Once the bullies no longer get the reaction they want, they

move on to their next target or next topic.

Now I teach 7th graders on

the east coast and I must tell you that many boys are not ready for girls,

while many girls are pursuing boys. Many girls just aren’t ready

either.

It may seem to you that most of the 7th

grade boys have matured, but many of my 150 students haven’t. Many

of the girls just can’t compete with video games and sports.

Unless you are located in some unusual place, I think it may

be true for your school as well.

The rules in public school have

changed. If anyone is calling your son ‘gay’ that is

sexual harassment and will be punished seriously. Tell the school

guidance counselor/assistant principal in charge of discipline, IEP

teacher. The teachers and hall aides should be advised to be more

vigilent in the halls and aware of your son and who is talking to him. The

bullies will say ‘we are just friends’ but once we teachers

are told to focus on a specific student, we can usually observe the

bullies.

Good luck and I hope this helps in some small way. Let

us know what happens.

E.C.

Need advise. My son, 11, and in

middle school. He is very inmature and the other boys

are already into " girls " . He is in 6th grade and was told

that a 7th grader female wanted to meet him in the janitor's closet to make

out. He did not go but was really scared about it. Now he is being

called " gay " . When we asked him told him that he says he

doesn't know the name of the kid(s). He really have bad memory for names

just like my husband. I think they tease him a lot with girl stuff and he

freaks out a lot. He comes home with lots of questions. We try to

answer them as honest as we can.

Any experience with this. What

should we do?

Ide

[Guest guest]

Oh, your #3 made me remember something with my oldest (NT) son. In middle

school he & another boy in class were joking around (per my son) and other boy

accidentally cut my son with his ruler. My son, not meanly/mad, said " you

faggot " (no I don't approve) and guess who the teacher sent to the office for

using that word to another student?! Had to call me from office too to tell me

about it. So - perhaps if teacher hears someone saying " gay " in this case, they

could be taken to office and their parent called. I can't recall what

punishment my son got at school, but there was one. (he's 24 yrs old now)

> 3. The rules in public school have changed. If anyone is calling your

> son 'gay' that is sexual harassment and will be punished seriously. Tell

> the school guidance counselor/assistant principal in charge of discipline,

> IEP teacher. The teachers and hall aides should be advised to be more

> vigilent in the halls and aware of your son and who is talking to him. The

> bullies will say 'we are just friends' but once we teachers are told to

> focus on a specific student, we can usually observe the bullies.