Re: What To Do About Aggressive Behavior

[Guest guest]

I don't know how much help I can give, but this describes my son who is also 8.  I will say that he has had 2 EEG's and it turns out he is having seizures (better after starting meds, as shown by the 2nd EEG, but still some).  I am trying to figure out if the seizures are partially causing this behavior.  I would be cranky and act out if my brain were seizing periodically too!  It's incredibly hard and you and I should definitely " talk. "   I feel like I have to watch him like a 1-y-o when other kids are around.  He tried attacking his aide at school last year which is hilarious as his aide is much bigger and stronger than he (a man).  The autism specialist for the school district says to take these actions as communication or not in his control.  He is either unable to stop himself or he is screaming for help.  I do find it better to see it that way (hard to explain that to the other parents at the playground which is why we avoid the playground) because it changes my approach (I don't start screaming and freaking out) and hence he can be calmed down more quickly.  I'm in the middle of something right now, but I definitely want to explore this with you because it's truly awful.

 

E.V. Downey

On Wed, Jul 7, 2010 at 4:08 PM, gina9431@... <gina9431@...> wrote:

 

My 8 year ols has been more and more aggressive lately. He spent most of last school year cause he can't keep to himself. He will hit, kick, or " accidently " hit someone with his back pack. This summer he was sent home 2 out of 3 days for hitting and being mean to other kids. He has been attending a camp for special needs with a 1 on 1 counselor. He loves his counselor.....however, today he chocked her. He says he thought she was helping him up and he grabbed her around the neck, but we still got a letter sent home. He has grabbed me aroung the neck like that before and has been told he can't do that! We have been working on personal space with him since he was 3!! He even hit my very large brother out of anger the other day! He seems to have a hard time controlling hi emotions and gets very angry. I just don't know what to do. He is so smart and sweet, yet nobody gets a chance to see that. I worry this behavior will further isolate him from his peers. I know he is only 8, but I worry about getting this under control or he will never be able to hold a job. He argues absolutely everything, has to be told things a million times......defiant is describing him lightly!! Please help! Thanks!

----------Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone- Re: ( ) zoning out>>

>> >> >> >> >> At the risk of sounding preachy, I want to know why so many parents are>> letting their kids‹ especially kids with AS-- play videogames from such an

>> early age. I see no problem with getting a 10 year old a videogame system,>> but anything younger than that I am a bit wary. My NT brother‹ who was>> playing Atari from age 4 or so‹ then got into classic NES, then SNES and

>> Genesis... And it was a dental procedure for my parents to pull him away from>> them. Sometimes he got so frustrated that he hit the Nintendo, or he would>> break something. Then they would have to unhook the system and ground him

>> from it for a bit. It really was an addiction. If I ever have kids (which I>> doubt), I might allow them before age ten to RENT videogame systems and games>> once a month if they beg for them, and perhaps let them OWN a system when

>> they¹re at least 10... But no younger.>> I¹m not saying that you¹re doing that, but it just seems so many AS kids are>> obsessed with video games, and for a kid that young to be playing video games

>> to begin with, a parent has to introduce them (especially if that kid doesn¹t>> have any friends). Take the intense obsessions that AS kids have and combine>> it with the addictive qualities of videogames, and you have a lethal

>> combination.>> >> >> >> >> On 7/5/10 7:06 PM, " " <doyourecycle@...> wrote:

>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> The ongoing obsession is with Nintendo games. My son knows everything about>>> their games and he makes his own cutting and pasting to make new ones from

>>> Super . This has been an obsession for a couple of years now and not>>> letting up. For a while it was genetically modified foods. He saw me reading>>> an article and asked some questions and learned it pretty well. He emptied

>>> all the food out of my kitchen (EVERYTHING) and examined each ingredient in>>> each item. If there was a suspected gmo, he called the company to ask them>>> if their product contained gmo's. He found a few that got past me and

>>> promptly threw them out. I thought that was a neat obsession for a while>>> until he started quizzing everyone that came into our home as to whether or>>> not they ate food with gmo's and just wouldn't let up. I had to divert him

>>> all the time to other topics.>>> >>> On Mon, Jul 5, 2010 at 2:12 PM, julie1013 <julie1013@...> wrote:

>>>> >>>> What is he obsessed with?>>>> >>>> >>>> On 7/5/10 8:50 AM, " " <doyourecycle@...

>>>> <http://doyourecycle@.../> > wrote:>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>

>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> We had thought that our son was having seizures with his staring>>>>> spells/zoning out periods. Went through a lot of testing and time to learn

>>>>> he's spacing out. It's thought to be a part of his autism )from his>>>>> doctors) and when I have asked my son about some of the episodes he's told>>>>> me what he was thinking about--his latest obsession. The zoning out

>>>>> doesn't last too long and there are times when they seem to take over his>>>>> day. Seems to be no rhyme or reason to the intensity imo.>>>>> >>>>> On Sun, Jul 4, 2010 at 4:27 PM, julie1013 <julie1013@...

>>>>> <http://julie1013@.../> > wrote:>>>>>> >>>>>> She could be visiting her internal world. Is she a kid who fantasizes a

>>>>>> lot? Growing up I had issues with paying attention in class because I was>>>>>> constantly daydreaming. It could be about something I wanted to draw or>>>>>> write, or whatever movie I was obsessed with.

>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On 7/3/10 11:49 PM, " ashley " <adramash@... <http://adramash@.../>

>>>>>> <http://adramash@.../> > wrote:>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>

>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Just curious,>>>>>>> >>>>>>> My DD4 will zone out/space out many times throughout the day. It lasts

>>>>>>> anywhere from a few seconds to a half hour. She will usually lie down>>>>>>> suck her thumb and twirl her hair or pull her hair or rake her fingers>>>>>>> through it or just pat her head. She seems to tire out more easily than

>>>>>>> any other 4yo I've ever seen. She falls asleep at night within 5min of>>>>>>> laying down and will sleep all night, then take a 1-3hr nap also during>>>>>>> the day. Her doctor could give me no good explanation. Any thoughts?

>>>>>>> Behavioral? Physical problem? I just lucked out having a good sleeper?>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>

>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>

>>>>> >>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>

>> > > > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

As far as space...explain to your son...everyone has a bubble around them and he can't go close to people because it will burst the bubble.

As far as anger...have you tried to talk to him when he is calm? Asked him what is going on? Can he learn other ways of releasing his anger...like counting to 10 backwards or punching a pillow? ARe there triggers?

My son had anger issues and still does a little bit...the Dr. put him on Geodon...which helps and he takes it at night which helps him sleep too!

Ask your doctor...I am not sure if your child is old enough or weighs enough. But no harm in asking.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: "gina9431@..." <gina9431@...> ; julie1013 <julie1013@...>Sent: Wed, July 7, 2010 4:08:33 PMSubject: ( ) What To Do About Aggressive Behavior

My 8 year ols has been more and more aggressive lately. He spent most of last school year cause he can't keep to himself. He will hit, kick, or "accidently" hit someone with his back pack. This summer he was sent home 2 out of 3 days for hitting and being mean to other kids. He has been attending a camp for special needs with a 1 on 1 counselor. He loves his counselor.....however, today he chocked her. He says he thought she was helping him up and he grabbed her around the neck, but we still got a letter sent home. He has grabbed me aroung the neck like that before and has been told he can't do that! We have been working on personal space with him since he was 3!! He even hit my very large brother out of anger the other day! He seems to have a hard time controlling hi emotions and gets very angry. I just don't know what to do. He is so smart and sweet, yet nobody gets a chance to see that. I worry this behavior will further isolate him from his peers.

I know he is only 8, but I worry about getting this under control or he will never be able to hold a job. He argues absolutely everything, has to be told things a million times......defiant is describing him lightly!! Please help! Thanks!----------Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone- Re: ( ) zoning out>> >> >> >> >> >> At the risk of sounding preachy, I want to know why so many parents are>> letting their kids especially kids with AS-- play videogames from such an>> early age. I see no problem with getting a 10 year old a videogame system,>> but anything younger than that I am a bit wary. My NT brother who was>> playing Atari from age 4 or so then got into classic NES, then SNES and>> Genesis... And it was a dental procedure for my parents to pull him away from>> them. Sometimes he

got so frustrated that he hit the Nintendo, or he would>> break something. Then they would have to unhook the system and ground him>> from it for a bit. It really was an addiction. If I ever have kids (which I>> doubt), I might allow them before age ten to RENT videogame systems and games>> once a month if they beg for them, and perhaps let them OWN a system when>> they¹re at least 10... But no younger.>> I¹m not saying that you¹re doing that, but it just seems so many AS kids are>> obsessed with video games, and for a kid that young to be playing video games>> to begin with, a parent has to introduce them (especially if that kid doesn¹t>> have any friends). Take the intense obsessions that AS kids have and combine>> it with the addictive qualities of videogames, and you have a lethal>> combination.>> >> >>

>> >> On 7/5/10 7:06 PM, "" <doyourecycle@...> wrote:>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> The ongoing obsession is with Nintendo games. My son knows everything about>>> their games and he makes his own cutting and pasting to make new ones from>>> Super . This has been an obsession for a couple of years now and not>>> letting up. For a while it was genetically modified foods. He saw me reading>>> an article and asked some questions and learned it pretty well. He emptied>>> all the food out of my kitchen (EVERYTHING) and examined each ingredient in>>> each item. If there was a suspected gmo, he called the company to ask them>>> if

their product contained gmo's. He found a few that got past me and>>> promptly threw them out. I thought that was a neat obsession for a while>>> until he started quizzing everyone that came into our home as to whether or>>> not they ate food with gmo's and just wouldn't let up. I had to divert him>>> all the time to other topics.>>> >>> On Mon, Jul 5, 2010 at 2:12 PM, julie1013 <julie1013@...> wrote:>>>> >>>> What is he obsessed with?>>>> >>>> >>>> On 7/5/10 8:50 AM, "" <doyourecycle@...>>>>

<http://doyourecycle@.../> > wrote:>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> We had thought that our son was having seizures with his staring>>>>> spells/zoning out periods. Went through a lot of testing and time to learn>>>>> he's spacing out. It's thought to be a part of his autism )from his>>>>> doctors) and when I have asked my son about some of the episodes he's told>>>>> me what he was thinking about--his latest obsession. The zoning out>>>>> doesn't last too long and there are times when they seem to take over his>>>>> day. Seems to be no rhyme or reason to the intensity imo.>>>>> >>>>> On Sun, Jul 4, 2010 at 4:27 PM, julie1013 <julie1013@...>>>>> <http://julie1013@.../> > wrote:>>>>>> >>>>>> She could be visiting her internal world. Is she a kid who fantasizes a>>>>>> lot? Growing up I had issues with paying attention in class because I was>>>>>> constantly daydreaming. It could be about something I wanted to draw or>>>>>> write, or whatever movie I was obsessed with.>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> On 7/3/10 11:49 PM, "ashley" <adramash@...

<http://adramash@.../>>>>>>> <http://adramash@.../> > wrote:>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Just curious,>>>>>>> >>>>>>> My DD4 will zone out/space out many times throughout the day. It lasts>>>>>>> anywhere from a few seconds to a half hour. She will usually lie down>>>>>>> suck her thumb and twirl her hair or pull her hair or rake her fingers>>>>>>> through it or just pat her head. She seems to tire out more easily than>>>>>>> any other 4yo I've ever seen. She falls asleep at night within 5min

of>>>>>>> laying down and will sleep all night, then take a 1-3hr nap also during>>>>>>> the day. Her doctor could give me no good explanation. Any thoughts?>>>>>>> Behavioral? Physical problem? I just lucked out having a good sleeper?>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > > > > > >

> >

[Guest guest]

BTDT. My heart goes out to you. My son had similar problems around 7-8 because

of a crappy school he was in. More recently we were seeing a huge decrease in

aggression. Then yesterday (age 13 120 lbs) he went ballistic at camp. Later

he threatened my daughter with a knife when I wasn't in the same room. He says

he wouldn't have hurt her but it scared us all. He was upset because she didn't

answer the phone! I don't get THAT at all. I believe this may be due to

anxiety. We were trying to decrease his anxiety medication because he's on

something else for ADHD that is also supposed to be good for anxiety. I don't

think it's enough so I'm taking the dose back up and calling his neurologist

today. I'm so totally freaked out. Getting it under control early is

definitely a huge help. 's current behavior is completely out of the blue

and not typical for him. But then, he's been on Lexapro since age 7 for

anxiety. We raised the dose last year because he was having trouble with

anxiety and nightmares during the night and because we thought maybe the fact

that he's grown so much might have made him need more. He was doing beautifully

in terms of behavior at the end of the school year. It was beautiful. But we'd

talked to the doc about reducing the dose when school got out to see if this

other medication would be enough. So, I think it's reasonable to suspect it's

the reduction of his medication. I should have followed the, " If it ain't broke

don't fix it " advice but I just hate having him on meds. Still, they do help

him a lot without changing him. He's less upset and less aggressive on lexapro.

I gave him a full dose today and he's only doing a half day of camp. He's too

big now for people to be able to handle him when he's being aggressive. I don't

like for anyone to restrain him but he was trying to hit people so he had to be

held back and I can't see any other way to have handled it. It was a sad sad

day yesterday.

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>> Just curious,

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>> My DD4 will zone out/space out many times throughout the day. It lasts

> >>>>>>> anywhere from a few seconds to a half hour. She will usually lie down

> >>>>>>> suck her thumb and twirl her hair or pull her hair or rake her fingers

> >>>>>>> through it or just pat her head. She seems to tire out more easily

than

> >>>>>>> any other 4yo I've ever seen. She falls asleep at night within 5min of

> >>>>>>> laying down and will sleep all night, then take a 1-3hr nap also

during

> >>>>>>> the day. Her doctor could give me no good explanation. Any thoughts?

> >>>>>>> Behavioral? Physical problem? I just lucked out having a good sleeper?

> >>>>>>>

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[Guest guest]

I thought I'd update on yesterday's incident. I spoke to the nurse from the

neurologist's office and she agreed with me that I should increase the

anti-anxiety med again. We also talked about my response to it and she felt I

did a great job. Wow, it's always so good to hear that I've done something

right. I talked to him about better ways to deal with anger and about the dire

consequences of picking up a knife like he did. OMG. They seemed relieved to

know that by the time I was downstairs was completely calm. They were

thinking maybe I had to " talk-him-down " but I didn't. I was able to talk to him

about better ways of handling anger and about some of the consequences that

could happen like him not being able to be here because he's a danger to his

sister and those kinds of things. The nurse seemed to think this was a really

good thing to say. I don't know, but I felt like I really REALLY needed to put

an image in his head of what could happen. He loves his sister, he talks about

her all the time at school and includes her in his life all the time. He misses

her when he's at school and if he stays home while she's at school he asks

repeatedly when she'll be getting home. She's his best friend because she's a

kid who loves him no matter what and wants to spend time with him and

understands it when he gets upset or confused most of the time. She advocates

for him and has done this since she was 4-5 years old. She always said, " MOM,

TELL THEM HE HAS ASPERGER SYNDROME! " when he'd have a conflict with other kids.

The thing is, the kids were usually too young to understand that but she

insisted anyway.

We've worked extremely hard to help him get past his aggression but occasionally

we still have bad times. They are less and less frequent all the time.

Miriam

> > >>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>> Just curious,

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>> My DD4 will zone out/space out many times throughout the day. It

lasts

> > >>>>>>> anywhere from a few seconds to a half hour. She will usually lie

down

> > >>>>>>> suck her thumb and twirl her hair or pull her hair or rake her

fingers

> > >>>>>>> through it or just pat her head. She seems to tire out more easily

than

> > >>>>>>> any other 4yo I've ever seen. She falls asleep at night within 5min

of

> > >>>>>>> laying down and will sleep all night, then take a 1-3hr nap also

during

> > >>>>>>> the day. Her doctor could give me no good explanation. Any thoughts?

> > >>>>>>> Behavioral? Physical problem? I just lucked out having a good

sleeper?

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>>

> > >>>>>>

> > >>>>>

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[Guest guest]

Since your son is still young I would try working with a

behaviorist. The therapists at Yale Parent and Child Conduct

Clinic will work with parents over the phone. But hopefully

you can find a behaviorist locally that is in your insurance

plan. Make sure your therapist is a certified " behaviorist "

and has worked with kids with ASD otherwise it is a waste

of time and money.

If the problem persists though you will end up having to

consider medication. Some kids have more issues with

aggression as they go thru puberty not less. Kids

with ASD often are more sensitive to medications and

their doses need to be lower. I would start now

researching a child psychiatrist or neurologist that

works extensively with ASD kids.

I hope this helps.

Pam

-- In , " gina9431@... " <gina9431@...> wrote:

>

> My 8 year ols has been more and more aggressive lately. He spent most of last

school year cause he can't keep to himself. He will hit, kick, or " accidently "

hit someone with his back pack. This summer he was sent home 2 out of 3 days

for hitting and being mean to other kids. He has been attending a camp for

special needs with a 1 on 1 counselor. He loves his counselor.....however,

today he chocked her. He says he thought she was helping him up and he grabbed

her around the neck, but we still got a letter sent home. He has grabbed me

aroung the neck like that before and has been told he can't do that! We have

been working on personal space with him since he was 3!! He even hit my very

large brother out of anger the other day! He seems to have a hard time

controlling hi emotions and gets very angry. I just don't know what to do. He

is so smart and sweet, yet nobody gets a chance to see that. I worry this

behavior will further isolate him from his peers. I know he is only 8, but I

worry about getting this under control or he will never be able to hold a job.

He argues absolutely everything, has to be told things a million

times......defiant is describing him lightly!! Please help! Thanks!

>

> ----------

> Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

>

> - Re: ( ) zoning out

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> At the risk of sounding preachy, I want to know why so many parents are

> >> letting their kids‹ especially kids with AS-- play videogames from such

an

> >> early age. I see no problem with getting a 10 year old a videogame system,

> >> but anything younger than that I am a bit wary. My NT brother‹ who was

> >> playing Atari from age 4 or so‹ then got into classic NES, then SNES and

> >> Genesis... And it was a dental procedure for my parents to pull him away

from

> >> them. Sometimes he got so frustrated that he hit the Nintendo, or he would

> >> break something. Then they would have to unhook the system and ground him

> >> from it for a bit. It really was an addiction. If I ever have kids (which I

> >> doubt), I might allow them before age ten to RENT videogame systems and

games

> >> once a month if they beg for them, and perhaps let them OWN a system when

> >> they¹re at least 10... But no younger.

> >> I¹m not saying that you¹re doing that, but it just seems so many AS kids

are

> >> obsessed with video games, and for a kid that young to be playing video

games

> >> to begin with, a parent has to introduce them (especially if that kid

doesn¹t

> >> have any friends). Take the intense obsessions that AS kids have and

combine

> >> it with the addictive qualities of videogames, and you have a lethal

> >> combination.

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> On 7/5/10 7:06 PM, " " <doyourecycle@...> wrote:

> >>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>> The ongoing obsession is with Nintendo games. My son knows everything

about

> >>> their games and he makes his own cutting and pasting to make new ones from

> >>> Super . This has been an obsession for a couple of years now and not

> >>> letting up. For a while it was genetically modified foods. He saw me

reading

> >>> an article and asked some questions and learned it pretty well. He emptied

> >>> all the food out of my kitchen (EVERYTHING) and examined each ingredient

in

> >>> each item. If there was a suspected gmo, he called the company to ask them

> >>> if their product contained gmo's. He found a few that got past me and

> >>> promptly threw them out. I thought that was a neat obsession for a while

> >>> until he started quizzing everyone that came into our home as to whether

or

> >>> not they ate food with gmo's and just wouldn't let up. I had to divert him

> >>> all the time to other topics.

> >>>

> >>> On Mon, Jul 5, 2010 at 2:12 PM, julie1013 <julie1013@...> wrote:

> >>>>

> >>>> What is he obsessed with?

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>> On 7/5/10 8:50 AM, " " <doyourecycle@...

> >>>> <http://doyourecycle@.../> > wrote:

> >>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>> We had thought that our son was having seizures with his staring

> >>>>> spells/zoning out periods. Went through a lot of testing and time to

learn

> >>>>> he's spacing out. It's thought to be a part of his autism )from his

> >>>>> doctors) and when I have asked my son about some of the episodes he's

told

> >>>>> me what he was thinking about--his latest obsession. The zoning out

> >>>>> doesn't last too long and there are times when they seem to take over

his

> >>>>> day. Seems to be no rhyme or reason to the intensity imo.

> >>>>>

> >>>>> On Sun, Jul 4, 2010 at 4:27 PM, julie1013 <julie1013@...

> >>>>> <http://julie1013@.../> > wrote:

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>> She could be visiting her internal world. Is she a kid who fantasizes a

> >>>>>> lot? Growing up I had issues with paying attention in class because I

was

> >>>>>> constantly daydreaming. It could be about something I wanted to draw or

> >>>>>> write, or whatever movie I was obsessed with.

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>> On 7/3/10 11:49 PM, " ashley " <adramash@... <http://adramash@.../>

> >>>>>> <http://adramash@.../> > wrote:

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>> Just curious,

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>> My DD4 will zone out/space out many times throughout the day. It lasts

> >>>>>>> anywhere from a few seconds to a half hour. She will usually lie down

> >>>>>>> suck her thumb and twirl her hair or pull her hair or rake her fingers

> >>>>>>> through it or just pat her head. She seems to tire out more easily

than

> >>>>>>> any other 4yo I've ever seen. She falls asleep at night within 5min of

> >>>>>>> laying down and will sleep all night, then take a 1-3hr nap also

during

> >>>>>>> the day. Her doctor could give me no good explanation. Any thoughts?

> >>>>>>> Behavioral? Physical problem? I just lucked out having a good sleeper?

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

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