Homework issues

[Guest guest]

Hello welcome to the group...my 9 year old son has AS. Believe me some days it

is not easy and frustrating. It does help to talk to people about this. Have

you talked to the school about it? Does he have an IEP at school? I have found

if my son stays on a strict daily routine it keeps the day somewhat settled.

paul swaney <helmets_suck@...> wrote:Hello, I just joined this support

group. I NEED ONE! lol I recently got married to a man with a son whom has AS

that is going to be 16 in Nov. We have recently gotten full custody of him. I

raised 2 daughters that are 23 and 19. This is new to me and I would appreciate

all the support I can get. I have never delt with anyone with AS before this. My

husband is very supportive and wonderful. But he is out of town a couple nights

a week, which leaves me in charge of the homework, getting ready for school, all

the things a mom has to do. I am so glad to see I can communicate with some

people that know what I am going through. I love his son very much and he is a

wonderful boy, but I can be very frustrating at times. Hope to hear from you,

Thanks

<@...> wrote:My son, 16, always wanted to get his

homework done and do a good job

(well, wants a good grade). But he would delay starting it (he IS a

bit of a couch potato, not an active boy). He would get frustrated

with lengthy assignments, but the physical act of writing was tiring

for him (awkward pencil grip, motor skill).

Is your son learning the material all right? Could he not

understand exactly what he is to do? Is it a lot of writing? I

think thought process (getting in order or something), getting

started, can sometimes be frustrating for some. Could he be bored?

Some very bright kids hate doing easy work.

Wonder what would happen if he had to dictate to you (if this is

writing mostly, not fill in the blank or something) and you wrote;

if he'd work faster....

Sometimes when my sons (3) have struggled, I've wondered about a

possible LD (learning disability) or something; whether some type

auditory processing disorder, are they really understanding what

they are reading or supposed to do, etc. SIGH, never came up with a

precise answer for any of them!

Wish I had some suggestions. You've tried praise, he gets

consequences....

single mom, 3 sons

, 16, with OCD, dysgraphia, Aspergers

> My ds (3rd grader this year) hates to do school work,

> therefore he dislikes school. He has homework nightly

> (Interestingly this year its less than last year), one

> page, maybe two to do (supposed to take fifteen

> minutes). Homework takes an hour because he is

> constantly goofing around. I sit right next to him,

[Guest guest]

Mojica <smojica@...> wrote:

Does she have hyperlexia? Obsessed w/numbers and letter. My second grade

son loves his homework too. I loved elementary school homework too. Shoot

I'd love to do some now instead of housework. It's fun!

My 8 yo ds has hyperlexia and he hates homework.

Roxanna

Always Remember You're Unique

Just Like Everyone Else

---------------------------------

for Good

Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

[Guest guest]

Well - just like your quote says at the bottom! :-) all unique kiddos.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Roxanna Neely

Sent: Friday, September 16, 2005 12:38 PM

Subject: RE: ( ) homework issues

Mojica <smojica@...> wrote:

Does she have hyperlexia? Obsessed w/numbers and letter. My second grade

son loves his homework too. I loved elementary school homework too. Shoot

I'd love to do some now instead of housework. It's fun!

My 8 yo ds has hyperlexia and he hates homework.

Roxanna

Always Remember You're Unique

Just Like Everyone Else

---------------------------------

for Good

Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I would suggest breaking it up into small chunks, say 5 minutes at a

time. Set a timer. If he sits and focuses for 5 minutes, give him a

sticker. Then take a 15 minute break, then work for another 5 minutes.

Etc. Be sure to use the timer, so it's clear that it's the timer that's

responsible for the time that's passed and not you. When he gets a

certain number of stickers, give him a reward. (I used to give them

books, but you know what would motivate your child better than I do.)

Does he take medication to help him concentrate during the day while

he's at school? If so, does he need another small dose to get him

through homework? We had to do this for my son when we had a math tutor

come to the house. He couldn't cope iwthout his Adderall. Good luck,

Liz

On Sep 15, 2005, at 5:23 PM, Sherwood wrote:

> My ds (3rd grader this year) hates to do school work,

> therefore he dislikes school. He has homework nightly

> (Interestingly this year its less than last year), one

> page, maybe two to do (supposed to take fifteen

> minutes). Homework takes an hour because he is

> constantly goofing around. I sit right next to him,

> usually, to keep him on task. Sometimes I leave him,

> that usually results in him doing his work very poorly

> (ie. he'll write mommy's stupid all over the paper).

> This homework issue has been the same since he was in

> first grade. I've tried disrupting this cycle by

> trying new ways to deal with this issue. He is aware

> of the consequences (if he doesn't complete the

> assignment he could lose free time during class the

> next day to make up the assignment or loss of a

> privledge at home).

[Guest guest]

My 7yr old boy is the same way with homework or school work. It takes forever.

Simple things that I know he can do in a few minutes, but no, it takes an hour

after looking for any distraction, change of subject, etc.

I too get frustrated and start yelling, then I feel guilty.

Ide

Adnan Rafiq <adnan_rafiq@...> wrote:

but why is that a problem?

--- Vicki <vsmith@...> wrote:

> I don't know if this is a common problem among

> Aspies. My Aspie daughter,

> age 6, LOVES homework, and has loved it since

> Kindergarten. The more the

> better. She loves anything that has to do with

> writing, reading, math, etc.

> I do notice that she rushes through it though.

> Vicki

>

> ( ) homework issues

>

> My ds (3rd grader this year) hates to do school

> work, therefore he dislikes

> school. He has homework nightly (Interestingly this

> year its less than last

> year), one page, maybe two to do (supposed to take

> fifteen minutes).

> Homework takes an hour because he is constantly

> goofing around. I sit right

> next to him, usually, to keep him on task.

> Sometimes I leave him, that

> usually results in him doing his work very poorly

> (ie. he'll write mommy's

> stupid all over the paper).

> This homework issue has been the same since he was

> in first grade. I've

> tried disrupting this cycle by trying new ways to

> deal with this issue. He

> is aware of the consequences (if he doesn't complete

> the assignment he could

> lose free time during class the next day to make up

> the assignment or loss

> of a privledge at home).

> I would like to know if this is a common problem

> among Aspies and how can

> I get him to want to complete the work, and in a

> timely manner. He knows

> that I liked doing homework, no lie, and I give him

> plenty of praise and

> encouragement, but it is only minimally helpful.

> Ps; I get incredibly

> frustrated usually and end up yelling at him. Any

> ideas???

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________

> - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> http://mail.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Been there! I hate to tell you this but it took 2 years for my ds go

get over that. He wouldn't goof around but he thought school and

homework was stupid and didn't want to do it. Getting started was a

nightmare. Once I got him through the first 2-3 math problems, he

was fine, but we'd already had a major meldown by then. I got

the 'stupid mommy' stuff on the paper too. All I could think of was

to be real consistent. Homework was done in the same place, at the

same time every day so he knew it was coming. One thing that did

help a little was having a calendar. He wrote on the calendar which

homework things he would do on which days (he got the weeks' homework

on Friday and it was due the next Thrusday so we were able to do

that). Each day, if he did his homework without a meltdown or

nuclear war, then he got a sticker. 5 stickers in a row meant he got

a small toy or treat of somekind. I also kept telling him that he

wanted to do it quickly so he could go play.

Good news! Like a lightswitch, we entered the fifth grade and he

said " hey, if I do my homework right when I get home from school or

even on the bus, I get to play the rest of the night! " . Wow,like,

why didn't I think of that. : ) Anyway, it seems to be better. I'm

keeping my fingers crossed.

> My ds (3rd grader this year) hates to do school work,

> therefore he dislikes school. He has homework nightly

> (Interestingly this year its less than last year), one

> page, maybe two to do (supposed to take fifteen

> minutes). Homework takes an hour because he is

> constantly goofing around. I sit right next to him,

> usually, to keep him on task. Sometimes I leave him,

> that usually results in him doing his work very poorly

> (ie. he'll write mommy's stupid all over the paper).

> This homework issue has been the same since he was in

> first grade. I've tried disrupting this cycle by

> trying new ways to deal with this issue. He is aware

> of the consequences (if he doesn't complete the

> assignment he could lose free time during class the

> next day to make up the assignment or loss of a

> privledge at home).

> I would like to know if this is a common problem

> among Aspies and how can I get him to want to complete

> the work, and in a timely manner. He knows that I

> liked doing homework, no lie, and I give him plenty of

> praise and encouragement, but it is only minimally

> helpful. Ps; I get incredibly frustrated usually and

> end up yelling at him. Any ideas???

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________

> - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005

> http://mail.

[Guest guest]

Hello All,

It has been a long time since I have posted...

Trouble in paradise raises it's ugly head in teenage years!!

My dd is giving my husband and I the full runaround!!

Grade 9 - ok, it's gotta be tough, all the adjustment, all the kids,

all the freedom... We thought we would give her gentle reminders

about homework and studies, Jenna do you have homework tonight?

Jenna have you studied for that exam yet?? And the reply would

always be " STOP BUGGING ME!! THE MORE YOU BUG ME THE MORE I WON'T

DO MY HOMEWORK " . And so the year came and went, with the support of

the special ed resource director and teachers. She failed to " put

out " the required amount of work required, but they passed her

anyway cause she had an IEP. They hounded her day in and day out

and they got the same message basically, don't bug me. Of course

the homework mounted up and up to a point where she could never

catch up...

Grade 9....a year to remember!

Grade 10 - ok, it's gotta be better this year, she know's the

routine, the kids, has actually made a few friends, and knows that

homework comes with the territory. 2 weeks into the school year and

the calls from the teachers start coming...homework not done!....

I am frustrated to think that the more we BUG her, the less she does.

We have tried to tell her that she is just hurting herself, but she

doesn't get it. She has set up a big wall. She screams at us, is

violent with me (hitting and pushing), and with her two younger

sisters. She is getting away with murder (not really) in the house

as she refuses to do anything. She is addicted to " anime " and hides

in her room almost every night.

Does anyone have any thoughts on the homework strategies to start

with??

Would love to hear from you,

Thanks,

.

[Guest guest]

I would do several things. First, I would negotiate an acceptable amount of

homework at the IEP meeting. A lot of the homework is just busywork. So if she

can show she knows how to do the math in 10 problems vs. doing 40, she should be

allowed to do just 10. Or do odds only. Whatever will work for each subject.

There are several articles on the net about homework (not doing any!) for kids

with AS. But I don't think going without is the answer either, except when the

child's stress level is too high. Then I would remove homework and fade it back

in.

I would tell her about the accommodations regarding homework and let her know

you understand that homework is difficult - the writing is difficult for many of

the kids. They can write but it is hard to keep it up (strength) for a long

period of time. (Can she do some homework on the computer instead of writing?)

It is also hard for some kids who are smart to have to do more work that they

consider " beneath them. " I would definitely let those kids know nothing is

" beneath them " lol but pair down the assignments to the bare minimum. Some kids

cannot manage the thought of doing school work at home (much as they would not

tolerate doing home things at school!) In that case, I would make a schedule up

for them and have them help (if possible) to assign time to each thing they want

to do at home after school. Make time for their own interests but be sure the

time allotted for homework is there also. Then I would also try implementing a

sticker chart (or whatever you want to call it) and she can earn more anime

items for doing what she is supposed to be doing without you having to complain.

Make it easy to succeed at first, then start making it harder. Then after she's

had a successful week or few days, take her to the book store and get an anime

book or video or whatever makes her smile.

Another thing is try writing instead of lecturing. Put the list of thing she

needs to do on paper and then you can point to the paper instead of launching

into a lecture. Sometimes that helps.

Here is an intersting article I have run across recently on reasons why homework

for people with autism should be different -->

http://www.usevisualstrategies.com/p1.html

Roxanna

( ) Homework issues

Hello All,

It has been a long time since I have posted...

Trouble in paradise raises it's ugly head in teenage years!!

My dd is giving my husband and I the full runaround!!

Grade 9 - ok, it's gotta be tough, all the adjustment, all the kids,

all the freedom... We thought we would give her gentle reminders

about homework and studies, Jenna do you have homework tonight?

Jenna have you studied for that exam yet?? And the reply would

always be " STOP BUGGING ME!! THE MORE YOU BUG ME THE MORE I WON'T

DO MY HOMEWORK " . And so the year came and went, with the support of

the special ed resource director and teachers. She failed to " put

out " the required amount of work required, but they passed her

anyway cause she had an IEP. They hounded her day in and day out

and they got the same message basically, don't bug me. Of course

the homework mounted up and up to a point where she could never

catch up...

Grade 9....a year to remember!

Grade 10 - ok, it's gotta be better this year, she know's the

routine, the kids, has actually made a few friends, and knows that

homework comes with the territory. 2 weeks into the school year and

the calls from the teachers start coming...homework not done!....

I am frustrated to think that the more we BUG her, the less she does.

We have tried to tell her that she is just hurting herself, but she

doesn't get it. She has set up a big wall. She screams at us, is

violent with me (hitting and pushing), and with her two younger

sisters. She is getting away with murder (not really) in the house

as she refuses to do anything. She is addicted to " anime " and hides

in her room almost every night.

Does anyone have any thoughts on the homework strategies to start

with??

Would love to hear from you,

Thanks,

.

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/4/2006 10:28:51 AM Eastern Standard Time,

haymancat@... writes:

Thanks for responding, what are you doing for discipline with your

son? What are you doing about the lack of responsibility? Is your

son medicated or has he ever been? Does he have Anxiety??

, our discipline approach here is that we know where he is and he

carries a phone at all times. He is mostly a homebody, but does go out quite a

bit

on the weekends with friends. We have created a written " contract " with

him at home and that has helped for him to see concretely what he has agreed to

(showering daily, completing homework, carrying a charged cell phone at all

times, respectful language, etc.). My son has to see that he is " part " of

the decision making as far as discipline. If we back him into a corner and say

something like " No because we said so... " we will be heading for an all out

war. After a year spent last year, doing no homework, failing two classes

and missing 16 days of school, he is now being evaluated for an IEP. My son

took Zoloft for several years a while back and it seemed to help. We took him

off all medications about a year and a half ago and clearly see no difference

(better or worse). The ages of 12-14 were terrible as far as his angry

outbursts and defiance of authority goes. I feel there was a direct link

between

the behavior and puberty. He has calmed down a bit and really doesn't go

" off " unless he is backed into a corner or really provoked. I always say that

this is not the way I thought I would parent my child. It is very different

and oftentimes doesn't feel " good " . My son has to be held accountable for

his behavior, decisions and actions. But I struggle with whether he is really

able to make those decisions and whether he can handle that level of

responsibility. I am very concerned for his future because of his rigidness

around

employment and plans to support himself. Pam

[Guest guest]

Hi , I have a son, 17, with OCD and with Aspergers; also a

dysgraphia diagnosis for the...physical part of writing (became

illegible but that's improved).

There could be a bit of all coming into play with your daughter.

When my son's OCD began back in 6th grade, you never knew just what

part OCD might take in *any*thing. Schoolwork was a huge issue.

And I know the " shutting down " would happen too. It was all too

much some days. Avoidance is common also. I do think the Aspie

part sometimes caused some problems with some assignments.

But I know with my son, that pushing him didn't help at all. Keep

in mind, though, that *this* son (I have 2 others) is NOT my defiant

type child, not one to talk back or anything. But his OCD problems

did sometimes have him show some of a temper, new for him.

Is your daughter's OCD under control? What behaviors does she have

(or had)?

Anxiety thrown in with all the above (OCD is an anxiety disorder

too), might cause her to withdraw also. AND - depression is a

possibility. My son is dealing with that right now too.

Throw all the above together with " teenage hormones/years " and it

can get messy! Opposition can come from all above too. As with

temper, my son showed a bit of this also.

(I'm in a hurry, lunch time, so forgive all my repeated

phrases, " all above " etc., no time to think about better/different

wording, LOL)

He's a straight A student too, gifted.

What you might try (you probably have) is to sit down at a calm

time. Talk to her about what she thinks is the problem with being

able to do her work. She may not know. (My son couldn't explain

things sometimes either.)

Take an approach that you want her to make progress, but doing it in

steps (even baby steps) might be better. Get some accommodations

for her at school to help for now - like allowing late work with no

grade penalty so she'll have more time for assignments; anything you

and she can think of that might help.

Medication might help lift the depression (my son isn't interested,

he is trying on his own first to get through this; had been on OCD

med before).

Well, gotta run, wish I had more time. But I wanted to get across

not to push too hard, unless that is actually helping. If not, try

a different approach. We had to just take it a day at a time, with

accommodations for school and work. If you're interested, I can

give more detail on that later.

>

> Hi,

> It's me back again!

> I need to vent, and maybe get some support from other families...

> Jenna I think is clinically depressed. We have just called the

> Doctor and have an appt on Friday. My concern is that the Dr.

when

> I spoke to her today was not supportive to my husband or myself

when

> I called. I told her that Jenna had shut down in life, still goes