Guest guest Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Was the counseling through your local mental health center? It sounds like he needs an intensive system of support/services. We have a program here called CIS...it is through the local mental health agency and provides intensive services/supports. My 15 year old was in the program about a year ago. If you tell me where you live, I could try to find some further contacts for you. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Lori, Have you looked into residential placements? That might be the logical next step. If he can't toe the line at home, then maybe he needs to be in a more structured environment where there is less opportunity to screw up. We very nearly went residential, but for different reasons. We decided after looking into it not to do it. Mostly because I didn't want to get into another big fight with the school district over paying for it. Liz On Aug 9, 2006, at 11:28 AM, lori jennings wrote: > I have a 17 yr old with ADHD and it seems he will do anything to > defy us. If we make a rule, it is his goal to break it. He has lied > to us repeatedly. We can not trust him. He has snuck out of the > house and wrecked his car. He has chewed, smoked, drank- been > caught and looked us right in the eye and lied to us. My question > is what to do? I have taken him to his doctor and counseling. He > lied to both. We have grounded him, taken away all his privelages. > He doesn't care. He is perfectly happy in his bedroom. When we ask > him to do anything, it is usually a huge struggle. I'm desperate > and feeling pretty much like a failure. Can somebody give some > suggestions? > Thanks in advance! > Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 The counseling was through the doctor's office- they are in the same place and a very close team. I live in Missouri. I have alot of faith in this counselor and the dr. She seems to think we give him too many privelages which I am probably guilty of. I also have custody of my 7 yr old nephew who is a aspie and my 3 yr old niece and a son who is 13 and also ADHD. So I figure he is trying to find his place and it leaves me policing all the time and to tell you the truth I just don't have the energy. Thanks Lori ppanda65@... wrote: Was the counseling through your local mental health center? It sounds like he needs an intensive system of support/services. We have a program here called CIS...it is through the local mental health agency and provides intensive services/supports. My 15 year old was in the program about a year ago. If you tell me where you live, I could try to find some further contacts for you. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Here are the Parent Training Information Centers in Missouri. I would contact the one closest to your area and ask them about obtaining further supports/resources for your son. You didn't say whether or not he is attending school. Also, below that is a link for the the director of the mental health association. I would contact them and ask about mental health centers and what kind of programs and resources are available for young adults. Pam Kent Kolaga, Program Director Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 1901 Wind River Drive Jefferson City, MO 65101 (573) 635-1189; (573) 635-7802 Moran, Program Director Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 2100 South Brentwood, Suite G Springfield, MO 63108 (417) 882-7434; (800) 743-7634 (in MO only) Higgs, Regional Coodinator Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 4144 Lindell Boulevard, Suite 405 St. Louis, MO 63108 (314) 531-5922; (800) 995-3160 (in MO only) Carolyn , Regional Coordinator Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 3100 Main St., Suite 303 Kansas City, MO 64111 (816) 531-7070; (816) 931-2992 (TTY) E-mail: _mpactcs@..._ (mailto:mpactcs@...) House, Executive Director Mental Health Association of St. Louis 1905 S. Grand Avenue St. Louis, MO 63104 (314) 773-1399 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 What is in his bedroom? I can't imagine he is happy to stay in his room all day if there is not something there - a tv, a stereo, his ipod, a computer - something. And if any of those things is in there, then you haven't taken away enough. All of those things should be removed and earned back by good behavior and doing his chores appropriately. Also, you said he wrecked " his " car. Sell the car. Having a car and driving are both privileges that belong to responsible people. Any child who behaved that way in my house would not be having a car paid for by me. Spend your money on the kids who are behaving appropriately and don't reward bad behavior. Now, if he is sitting in his room and there is nothing in there but a bed and a dresser and a desk, and he stares at the ceiling all day long - then that's a different problem. Roxanna ( ) 17 yr old defiance I have a 17 yr old with ADHD and it seems he will do anything to defy us. If we make a rule, it is his goal to break it. He has lied to us repeatedly. We can not trust him. He has snuck out of the house and wrecked his car. He has chewed, smoked, drank- been caught and looked us right in the eye and lied to us. My question is what to do? I have taken him to his doctor and counseling. He lied to both. We have grounded him, taken away all his privelages. He doesn't care. He is perfectly happy in his bedroom. When we ask him to do anything, it is usually a huge struggle. I'm desperate and feeling pretty much like a failure. Can somebody give some suggestions? Thanks in advance! Lori . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Thank you so much for the info. Before I make the decision to contact one of these places, can you tell me what they are and what they are for? Thanks again- Lori ppanda65@... wrote: Here are the Parent Training Information Centers in Missouri. I would contact the one closest to your area and ask them about obtaining further supports/resources for your son. You didn't say whether or not he is attending school. Also, below that is a link for the the director of the mental health association. I would contact them and ask about mental health centers and what kind of programs and resources are available for young adults. Pam Kent Kolaga, Program Director Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 1901 Wind River Drive Jefferson City, MO 65101 (573) 635-1189; (573) 635-7802 Moran, Program Director Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 2100 South Brentwood, Suite G Springfield, MO 63108 (417) 882-7434; (800) 743-7634 (in MO only) Higgs, Regional Coodinator Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 4144 Lindell Boulevard, Suite 405 St. Louis, MO 63108 (314) 531-5922; (800) 995-3160 (in MO only) Carolyn , Regional Coordinator Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 3100 Main St., Suite 303 Kansas City, MO 64111 (816) 531-7070; (816) 931-2992 (TTY) E-mail: _mpactcs@..._ (mailto:mpactcs@...) House, Executive Director Mental Health Association of St. Louis 1905 S. Grand Avenue St. Louis, MO 63104 (314) 773-1399 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Is there any Parent Trainign Information Centers in WIsconsin lori jennings <lozzy3us@...> wrote: Thank you so much for the info. Before I make the decision to contact one of these places, can you tell me what they are and what they are for? Thanks again- Lori ppanda65@... wrote: Here are the Parent Training Information Centers in Missouri. I would contact the one closest to your area and ask them about obtaining further supports/resources for your son. You didn't say whether or not he is attending school. Also, below that is a link for the the director of the mental health association. I would contact them and ask about mental health centers and what kind of programs and resources are available for young adults. Pam Kent Kolaga, Program Director Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 1901 Wind River Drive Jefferson City, MO 65101 (573) 635-1189; (573) 635-7802 Moran, Program Director Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 2100 South Brentwood, Suite G Springfield, MO 63108 (417) 882-7434; (800) 743-7634 (in MO only) Higgs, Regional Coodinator Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 4144 Lindell Boulevard, Suite 405 St. Louis, MO 63108 (314) 531-5922; (800) 995-3160 (in MO only) Carolyn , Regional Coordinator Missouri Parents Act (MPACT) 3100 Main St., Suite 303 Kansas City, MO 64111 (816) 531-7070; (816) 931-2992 (TTY) E-mail: _mpactcs@..._ (mailto:mpactcs@...) House, Executive Director Mental Health Association of St. Louis 1905 S. Grand Avenue St. Louis, MO 63104 (314) 773-1399 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 I'm sorry they all came squished together in that email. The first listings are Parent Training Information Centers in Missouri. These centers are federally mandated and they have the ability to help parents of special education students navigate the educational system, which can also include helping wi th other outside supports and how to obtain them. They also provide education and training to parents, empowering them to be better advocates for their children. I work for the Center in my state (RI). The last contact is the Department of Mental Health in the state of Missouri. I would contact them to see if you have a local mental health center and obtain help in finding out if there are any supports services via the mental health system, that you could obtain for your son. Alot of times there are programs that no one seems to know about and parents aren't informed about. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Yes ma'am...every state is federally mandated to have one. Pam ....Sister Patrice Colletti, SDS, Director Parent Education Project of Wisconsin, Inc. 2192 South 60th Street West Allis, WI 53219 (414) 328-5520; (414) 328-5525 (TTY) (800) 231-8382 (in WI) E-mail: colletti@... URL:_http://members.aol.com/pepofwi/_ (http://members.aol.com/pepofwi/) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 The first thing that must be addressed is the addiction. Addiction and any mental illness is a recipe for tragedy. I don't know about his age, but I suggest you contact Boys and Girls Town. My 12 year old stepson went in their with violent behavior and Oppositional Defiant Disorder and possibly Schizophrenia. Now he is coming home and he is a totally different little boy. He has gone from comitting assault to mentoring other troubled boys. What an awesome turn around. I think that they could give you some excellent pointers if nothing else. Give them a call. There is one in Missouri, but I can't get the page to load. They should be in your phone book too. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 15, 2006 Report Share Posted August 15, 2006 Theresa wrote: I also think that if you don't have a productive solution, or suggestion, you should shut up and keep your negative comments to yourself. Most of us here are here because we are caring concerned parents looking for answers and/or support. The very thought of these comments are hurtful, not helpful. Rant over! Theresa AAAAAM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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