Holding them back in school/reading

[Guest guest]

How many of you have held your children back in school? My son started before

his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held him back then but his

preschool teachers had no problems with him and assured me he would do fine in

Kindergarten.

Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time reading and I just

don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade level. My husband and I were

thinking that with our move to AL he could repeat 1st and have a chance to catch

up a bit w/ his reading. And hopefully get that chance at a better school. What

are your thoughts on this.

Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he can do. I have

tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone else have this issue also?

Im not sure what reading level he is on, and Im not sure anyone else is either.

Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

Holly

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Holly

Hi my daughter is 5 now and she was doing really well in preschool. When she

moved schools she started to go the opposite direction. She has not been

diagnosed yet. We are wondering if we should hold back our daughter in

kindergarten. Did you son have a hard time in kindergarten? Is he in special

classes? I am all new to this I don't know what to do?

Thanks

Holly <ritaNricosmama@...> wrote:

How many of you have held your children back in school? My son started

before his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held him back then but his

preschool teachers had no problems with him and assured me he would do fine in

Kindergarten.

Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time reading and I just

don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade level. My husband and I were

thinking that with our move to AL he could repeat 1st and have a chance to catch

up a bit w/ his reading. And hopefully get that chance at a better school. What

are your thoughts on this.

Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he can do. I have

tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone else have this issue also?

Im not sure what reading level he is on, and Im not sure anyone else is either.

Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

Holly

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I would request some educational testing (formally, in writing) through the

school department. Pam

[Guest guest]

Delaying a year might create problems for the school/classroom #'s. You

really need to meet with the IEP Team, discuss your daughter's needs, write

appropriate goals and then decide the placement. My son went to K when he was

turning 7 that October. He is the oldest in his classroom now, but

developmentally he is delayed about 2 years so it has worked out well. He is

now going

into 4th grade in the fall. Pam

[Guest guest]

I was also considering holding my daughter in kindergarten again this

September. She will be 7 in November. I know it is VERY late, and the

public school system is really pushing to put her in 1st grade, but I

just don't understand. What is the problem of delaying a year? So you

push someone that has difficulties just for the sake of being 17 when

he/she graduates (high school)? Also, as many Aspies, she is a little

immature, and plays better with older or younger children. I think she

will fit better in Kindergarten. I was a little worried about other

kids making fun of her because she is big, but I was reassured when a

teacher said that, still, in her age group, kids think it is " cool " to

be older.

I know that she can read some, but everytime I want her to read she

either dismisses me or gets annoyed. Same for when I try to teach her

math....What do you all think? Annoyed that we try to make her do

something that she already knows, hurt self-esteem, can't handle

pressure, or else???

>

> How many of you have held your children back in school? My son

started before his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held him

back then but his preschool teachers had no problems with him and

assured me he would do fine in Kindergarten.

> Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time reading

and I just don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade level. My

husband and I were thinking that with our move to AL he could repeat

1st and have a chance to catch up a bit w/ his reading. And hopefully

get that chance at a better school. What are your thoughts on this.

>

> Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he can

do. I have tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone else

have this issue also? Im not sure what reading level he is on, and Im

not sure anyone else is either.

>

> Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

>

> Holly

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

BJ (aspie thats 16, and newly diagnosed) didnt talk at 3 years old.

At 3 he started " school " . It was an early education class, but

lasted all day. He needed 1 years of early ed,,then pre-K

started,,,he was slow there,,but teacher said he will catch up.

Kindergarden started,,and,2 years of kindergarden . By first grade,

he was the oldest, but smallest in his class. Another 2 years. He

was 8 going into 2ed grade. When they said he would need to be held

back, AGAIN, I said no. You are going to have him shaving in 4th

grade if you keep holding him back. I said,,find out whats wrong.

They said,,oh, one day,,he will outgrow all this. Its just a matter

of time. Well, we finally found an angel, who LISTENED TO ME.

After 16 years, knowing something was wrong, finaly had a WORD for

it. Now, he is 16, and will be a freshman till he quits. They have

had 13 years to prepare him to fail at every subject. I have been

to every single school IEP meeting, every parents-teacher

conference, and every open house. I have heard how lazy my son is,

and how if he would concentrate, how he could bring that F up to a

D. I have requested testing, which is always done, but with a

specail ed teacher,,at school. Last meeting, BJ's IQ kicked him out

of specail ed, and when I ask,,how did they expect him to pass a

single class, mainstreamed,,they looked at me, like they had never

seen a single report card. Since you know a " word " (of aspergers)

at least you have a shot at helping in school. You also have

someone who MIGHT know how to teach your child. BJ is not sure he

is going back next year. At 16, he can legally quit, in South

Dakota. Will it help him to quit school, no. Will it help him to

keep going,,,for me, no,,he has tryed it all, and still has very

little to show for it. At last testing, he can read 100% of 4th

grade level,,and after that, its starts falling fast. What will he

do if he quits??? He has a part time job now, that will keep him

on. Enought for life??? He will have to decide. I have pushed and

prodded a dead horse. Now, with an aspergers diagnosis, I know how

to help,,and how to turn things around, but,,how late is too late?

For school, I think we have already passed that deadline. Please

read everything you can,,and listen to all advice, but,,only from

other aspie parents. Do not listen to your best friends mother,,who

has no idea what the hell she is talking about. Listen to people

who KNOW. Your best advantage is, you know early, please, USE

IT!!! Hang in there,,and dont push all the time. Sometimes,,,you

have to let nature catch up a bit. barbra

>

> How many of you have held your children back in school? My son

started before his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held him

back then but his preschool teachers had no problems with him and

assured me he would do fine in Kindergarten.

> Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time

reading and I just don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade

level. My husband and I were thinking that with our move to AL he

could repeat 1st and have a chance to catch up a bit w/ his reading.

And hopefully get that chance at a better school. What are your

thoughts on this.

>

> Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he

can do. I have tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone

else have this issue also? Im not sure what reading level he is on,

and Im not sure anyone else is either.

>

> Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

>

> Holly

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

P.S. Holly...I also forgot...During first and second grade, BJ would

bring home books from school, and read them word for word. A nice

teacher would read them to him at school, and he would bring them

home and re-read them to us. Ever single work, 100%. BUT, if you

covered up the pictures on the page, or picked out one word, he

would cry. He couldnt read a single word, but had 100% total

recall. When I say 100% total recall, I mean 100% total recall. He

could resite the teachers instructions word for word for days. If a

teacher tryed to change instrustions after a lesson started, BJ

would end up in the office, for fighting. After his brain got

latched on, that was it. Also, you might want to make sure they

never call on your kid in class, unless he has his hand up. With

BJ, if the teacher ask him to read outloud...he would stand up,,and

start a fight, and beat the poor kid next to him. For BJ, it was

better to be in trouble in the office, than to let anyone know he

couldnt read. BJ, at 16 can read, at 4th grade level. If he hears

it on the discovery channel,,he knows it.

AND TAKE HIME EVERYWHERE. And go places out of the blue. Give

him a watch when he ask.(to tell time.) Let him know,,not sure what

time we will get home, but we will. Mix it up now!! If you wait

till he cant mix up... he will not want to go out and will shut

doors out of fear, and not knowing what will happen. Not even

knowing that I was " helping " BJ,,I took him everywhere, and we

talked to everyone. Mostly old people. BUT, now,,BJ can go to a

cafe, and talk to people. OK, right now, its all about Yu-Gi-Oh!

cards, BUT, he attemps to be social. We also have this trick,,look

at peoples forehead and they wont know you dont make eye contact!!!

Sometimes I see BJ struggle, and I help him along, like say,,BJ,

tell them about your job, and this opens another door for BJ. My

little aspie is a repeater, so, he can tell them all about his job,

because he has heard me talk about MY job for 3 plus years. (BJ and

I work together at a hog confinement.) You can see the pride, in

BJ, when they listen with real interest!!! And what people would

not be impressed with a hog farm with 5700 sows, (thats mother pigs)

and wean 550 babys a DAY!!! Thats a huge number, for those that

don't know hogs.

My biggest worry, is, who will take care of BJ if something

happens to me. His father is out of the picture/question. I have a

brother who knows he will get BJ, but will be a BIG BIG

adjustment. Tim is a single bachlor, and almost 40, with no kids

and no kid expearance, and an aspie??? Boy, will BJ teach him a

thing or 2, lol. BJ does plan on moving out someday,,,he informed

he when he turns 32. Numbers are not important for BJ. He can

resite over 3000 Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and cant tell you the 12 months of

the year, go figure??? lol I love my little aspie, and would not

change him for the world. He makes me complete, barbra

>

> How many of you have held your children back in school? My son

started before his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held him

back then but his preschool teachers had no problems with him and

assured me he would do fine in Kindergarten.

> Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time

reading and I just don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade

level. My husband and I were thinking that with our move to AL he

could repeat 1st and have a chance to catch up a bit w/ his reading.

And hopefully get that chance at a better school. What are your

thoughts on this.

>

> Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he

can do. I have tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone

else have this issue also? Im not sure what reading level he is on,

and Im not sure anyone else is either.

>

> Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

>

> Holly

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Yes he did have a problem in Kindergarten. We had him tested for ADHD/ADD and

he was neither. The teacher knew something wasnt right but we couldnt place it

then and just leaned toward behavioral issues. The 2nd part of the year he did

better so we were hoping we were on the right track. Well, then came 1st grade

and wow, way worse! This past yr. he was diagnosed but it has been a roller

coaster of a yr. Had we known this last yr. I wouldve held him back then.

Good luck with your daughter!

Holly

michelle frederick <mdfrederick@...> wrote:

Holly

Hi my daughter is 5 now and she was doing really well in preschool. When she

moved schools she started to go the opposite direction. She has not been

diagnosed yet. We are wondering if we should hold back our daughter in

kindergarten. Did you son have a hard time in kindergarten? Is he in special

classes? I am all new to this I don't know what to do?

Thanks

Holly <ritaNricosmama@...> wrote:

How many of you have held your children back in school? My son started before

his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held him back then but his

preschool teachers had no problems with him and assured me he would do fine in

Kindergarten.

Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time reading and I just

don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade level. My husband and I were

thinking that with our move to AL he could repeat 1st and have a chance to

catch up a bit w/ his reading. And hopefully get that chance at a better

school. What are your thoughts on this.

Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he can do. I have

tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone else have this issue also?

Im not sure what reading level he is on, and Im not sure anyone else is either.

Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

Holly

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thats what does! He can memorize the books he knows. So I throw him off

by making him read a new book, and then comes the tornado of emotions. TOTAL

MELTDOWN! He cant read.......So why will they pass him? Ugh.

Holly

Bobbie <bobbiekatmontana@...> wrote:

P.S. Holly...I also forgot...During first and second grade, BJ would

bring home books from school, and read them word for word. A nice

teacher would read them to him at school, and he would bring them

home and re-read them to us. Ever single work, 100%. BUT, if you

covered up the pictures on the page, or picked out one word, he

would cry. He couldnt read a single word, but had 100% total

recall. When I say 100% total recall, I mean 100% total recall. He

could resite the teachers instructions word for word for days. If a

teacher tryed to change instrustions after a lesson started, BJ

would end up in the office, for fighting. After his brain got

latched on, that was it. Also, you might want to make sure they

never call on your kid in class, unless he has his hand up. With

BJ, if the teacher ask him to read outloud...he would stand up,,and

start a fight, and beat the poor kid next to him. For BJ, it was

better to be in trouble in the office, than to let anyone know he

couldnt read. BJ, at 16 can read, at 4th grade level. If he hears

it on the discovery channel,,he knows it.

AND TAKE HIME EVERYWHERE. And go places out of the blue. Give

him a watch when he ask.(to tell time.) Let him know,,not sure what

time we will get home, but we will. Mix it up now!! If you wait

till he cant mix up... he will not want to go out and will shut

doors out of fear, and not knowing what will happen. Not even

knowing that I was " helping " BJ,,I took him everywhere, and we

talked to everyone. Mostly old people. BUT, now,,BJ can go to a

cafe, and talk to people. OK, right now, its all about Yu-Gi-Oh!

cards, BUT, he attemps to be social. We also have this trick,,look

at peoples forehead and they wont know you dont make eye contact!!!

Sometimes I see BJ struggle, and I help him along, like say,,BJ,

tell them about your job, and this opens another door for BJ. My

little aspie is a repeater, so, he can tell them all about his job,

because he has heard me talk about MY job for 3 plus years. (BJ and

I work together at a hog confinement.) You can see the pride, in

BJ, when they listen with real interest!!! And what people would

not be impressed with a hog farm with 5700 sows, (thats mother pigs)

and wean 550 babys a DAY!!! Thats a huge number, for those that

don't know hogs.

My biggest worry, is, who will take care of BJ if something

happens to me. His father is out of the picture/question. I have a

brother who knows he will get BJ, but will be a BIG BIG

adjustment. Tim is a single bachlor, and almost 40, with no kids

and no kid expearance, and an aspie??? Boy, will BJ teach him a

thing or 2, lol. BJ does plan on moving out someday,,,he informed

he when he turns 32. Numbers are not important for BJ. He can

resite over 3000 Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and cant tell you the 12 months of

the year, go figure??? lol I love my little aspie, and would not

change him for the world. He makes me complete, barbra

>

> How many of you have held your children back in school? My son

started before his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held him

back then but his preschool teachers had no problems with him and

assured me he would do fine in Kindergarten.

> Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time

reading and I just don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade

level. My husband and I were thinking that with our move to AL he

could repeat 1st and have a chance to catch up a bit w/ his reading.

And hopefully get that chance at a better school. What are your

thoughts on this.

>

> Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he

can do. I have tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone

else have this issue also? Im not sure what reading level he is on,

and Im not sure anyone else is either.

>

> Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

>

> Holly

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Try playing some games with him. Do you have a cat or a dog? Write

out a label that says " cat " or " dog " . Let him put the label on him or

her. Have him label other household objects. Cup, mug, rug, lid, pot,

top, mop, milk, hotdog. Etc. Usually kids love to do this. My nephew

loves to do this when I go to Massachusetts. You can use harder words

if his reading is beyond this. You can also use sentences, such as

" Put your toe on your tummy. " It gives them the giggles.

Liz

On Jun 9, 2006, at 7:44 PM, Holly wrote:

> How many of you have held your children back in school? My son

> started before his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held

> him back then but his preschool teachers had no problems with him

> and assured me he would do fine in Kindergarten.

> Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time reading

> and I just don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade level. My

> husband and I were thinking that with our move to AL he could

> repeat 1st and have a chance to catch up a bit w/ his reading. And

> hopefully get that chance at a better school. What are your

> thoughts on this.

>

> Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he can

> do. I have tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone

> else have this issue also? Im not sure what reading level he is on,

> and Im not sure anyone else is either.

>

> Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

>

> Holly

[Guest guest]

My son repeated kindergraten and it has been a huge success. He was not ready

for formal learning of any kind at the end of last year. I am just starting to

see signs now that he will be able next year to start learning in a classroom

environment. I think it is a personal thing depending on the child and that

childs needs at the time.

Beck

( ) Holding them back in school/reading

How many of you have held your children back in school? My son started before

his 5th bday.(his bday is sept. 24) I almost held him back then but his

preschool teachers had no problems with him and assured me he would do fine in

Kindergarten.

Now that I know he has AS, he is having a really hard time reading and I just

don't think he is ready to go on a 2nd grade level. My husband and I were

thinking that with our move to AL he could repeat 1st and have a chance to catch

up a bit w/ his reading. And hopefully get that chance at a better school. What

are your thoughts on this.

Also, concerning his reading.... he refuses to show me what he can do. I have

tried positive reinforcements.... everything. Anyone else have this issue also?

Im not sure what reading level he is on, and Im not sure anyone else is either.

Once again - your thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!! Thanks!

Holly

__________________________________________________