Re: Speaking of Cruises.....

December 28, 2006

Have you been talking to my mom? LOLOLOL........I know I know......

I will have to jump in that pool some day! But the water seems so darn

cold!!

Mike T

Re: Re: Speaking of Cruises.....

> You can't go into a relationship expecting the worst tho Mike. Do you

> want to live your life in fear of a divorce? I'd rather take a chance &

> love someone. :-)

>

> W

> 380/255/160

>

> Mike Tune wrote:

>> No wonder your the rain check/Sale king!! Sorry Mike, that is what scares

>> me!

>>

>> Mike T

>>

>

> We are a very active support group.

> If the email becomes overwhelming,

> please change your setting to NO EMAIL!

> Please contact Group Creator

> Robyn@...

>

December 28, 2006

Buy a wet suit!

W

380/255/160

Mike Tune wrote:

> Have you been talking to my mom? LOLOLOL........I know I know......

>

> I will have to jump in that pool some day! But the water seems so darn

> cold!!

>

> Mike T

December 28, 2006

What is all the good stuff you lose in California?LOL

Kim

RNY 6/23/06

298/206/135

> > > > >

> > > > > Okay, I am going on a seven nights cruise in the first

week of

> > > Feb.

> > > > I

> > > > > am still in the rapid weight loss phase, so I will wait to

buy

> > > > outfits

> > > > > a few days prior to the cruise (yes, newbies, I said a few

days

> > > > > prior;you can't imagine how fast the weight falls

off!)...I

> > plan

> > > to

> > > > > have all my vitamins ready to go and a few protien

> > > > > supplements/shakes...does anyone have suggestions for

eating

> > > while on

> > > > > the ship? I am hoping to find something...anything else I

> > > should

> > > > > pack? lisamathis

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> > We are a very active support group.

> > If the email becomes overwhelming,

> > please change your setting to NO EMAIL!

> > Please contact Group Creator

> > Robyn@...

> >

December 28, 2006

Mike, Why do you have to pay her child support?Don't the kids live

with you?

Kim

RNY 6/23/06

298/206/135

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Okay, I am going on a seven nights cruise in the first

week

> > of

> > > > Feb.

> > > > > I

> > > > > > am still in the rapid weight loss phase, so I will wait

to

> > buy

> > > > > outfits

> > > > > > a few days prior to the cruise (yes, newbies, I said a

few

> > days

> > > > > > prior;you can't imagine how fast the weight falls

off!)...I

> > > plan

> > > > to

> > > > > > have all my vitamins ready to go and a few protien

> > > > > > supplements/shakes...does anyone have suggestions for

> eating

> > > > while on

> > > > > > the ship? I am hoping to find something...anything else

I

> > > > should

> > > > > > pack? lisamathis

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

December 29, 2006

We have joint legal and joint physical custody. However, she is still

designated as the custodial parent and I am the non-custodial parent.

This allows me to see my kids very often while still making any time

she gives them to me in addition to my already liberal time perceived

by her, the court, most people as a gift to me.

These designations also allow her to receive massive support

payments, after all she is the custodial parent right? The court

worked very hard to, while allowing me a lot of time with the kids,

to not allow me a lot of overnights. Overnights with the non-

custodial father are the financial killer for women. At a certain

amount of overnights she would get less support.

Now with joint physical/legal I get the ability to weigh in on

school, medical, etc. decisions. Strangely enough in our judgement of

divorce (JOD) it says specifically that we are to work out their

school issues between ourselves but if she decides to send them to

private school she must pay. That may appear inoxious but that has

essentially had the effect in practice of her having the final say

since all she has to do is say they're going to private school. So

what right? Well they were both going to private. Then she managed to

convince a suburban district that she was moving to their district.

Now my daughter goes there but my son, after having gone there for a

semester and having difficulties academically and they had few sixth

grade sports, was brought back, unilaterally by her, to his original

school. Of course you could argue none of this is massively hurtful

to my children's career but don't fool yourself into thinking I have

any say into any of this. She calls me on these things and, granted

bitterly, my first words are, " I appreciate the call but what exactly

do you want from me here? What choice do I have in the matter? " I

certainly do express my opnion to her but it does little good.

Of course I haven't tested the medical arena and hopefully won't have

to. After all she's the custodial parent and, well, there you have

it. There's no doubting that custodialness simple because it's her

title.

She lives about a half mile from my house so as the children enter

their teen years the idea of where they spend their evenings is

getting even more ridiculous. Heck, on either of our designated

weekends they're doing sleep overs with their friends frequently.

If you can avoid getting all pent up over the stupidity of the whole

thing and realize that certainly SOME of your money, about 2/3 I

figure, does end up paying for utilities and clothing, etc. for the

kids then it's not so bad.

Oh she does work by the way. She HAD a full time job as well as a

part time waitressing job (not moving beyond that was one of the

reasons we divorced). She rarely takes a vacation, certainly not more

than a week a year. She often asks that I pick the kids up outside my

time with them although I'm often at their events anyway. Speaking of

which, what's the deal with practices and not allowing parents to

attend? I mean I understand it might be a distraction I guess but

damn it's sort of a hassle to drive the kids out, usually in rush

hour traffic, drive back home again in rush hour traffic to eat

dinner alone or clean alone, drive back 1.5-2 hrs later, drive them

back home again and have to feed them separately either before or

after. Not to mention that ALL the parents are doing this. Just seems

stupid to me.

Her full time work changed this summer when she quit her office

management position out of lack of satisfaction and suspecion of

being plotted against or something (I try not to get involved in her

life ya know) and took a job with a start up company that repaired

industrial trucks or something. That job turned out to be a shell or

poorly run or both and checks started to bounce and banks came a

calling. So now she's seeking employment and, of course, making waves

about taking me to court to refigure support. I laugh at her (often).

She tells me she worked for a law firm (the job she quit at the

beginning here) and she knows what she's doing. I respond

with, " Honey, I have budgeted about $2500 a year, and always purchase

an extra week of vacation from my employer. You just pick the day and

time and I'll show up in a suit with my attorney. " I'll usually throw

in something like, " Make it a Friday, I know that's a busy day for

you and it might as well inconveince one of us right? " I also explain

to her that she's not a victim of employment circumstance here but

her one poor choices. If she feels the court will reward her for poor

choices then she should pursue this but don't expect it to be a free

ride through court because I'll fight it. You gotta love the drama!

Needless to say no papers have been filed and she's just blowing

smoke. You also can't just bring this stuff up on support ever month.

The court would tire of that but quick. She'll probably bring it up

on schedule, every two years.

Obviously there's all sorts of other drama in many other areas of

this whole thing outside of finances and children that she's brought

into this. Me? I just wanted to get the hell out of the relationship,

that's why I filed, makes sense right? She still doesn't seem to

really want to severe things. Hopefully when the children are 18+

that will change. I think it will.

It looks like this might be a day of rambling on my part. Feel free

to send me a private email if you want the information on other

drama. I'm not completely without guilt in any of this either. Often

I'm petty too. What make she and I different is I have a high degree

of follow through and can carry a grudge much longer and with much

more effectiveness than she can. By that I mean I forgive but never

forget and I choose my revenge through means that require little or

no effort/$ on my part and benefit me more than her. That usually

makes her pretty crazy. Funny. I always tell my fellow divorcees that

you can't spend time and money trying to get even with anyone. You're

basically spending time and money to make yourself crazy and screw up

or ignore what's really important in your life. However, if you can

think things through and find that golden route of ease and yet

poignant revenge it's pure magic.

Examples:

I earned three additional college degrees while our divorce

progressed. One at a 3.75GPA and two masters at a 4.0GPA.

I kept my job and yet was able to drop work and take days off

virtually at will.

I own a house (duplex) and manage it/rent it, etc.

Of course, surgery to improve my health. Add to that working out

daily and looking better (so others tell me sometimes).

I'm usually happy and pleasant especially when she's highly stressed

and pissed. I also discount her regular apologies (after all the get

old and repetative).

I'm consistant, predictable and reliable.

Dating, having friends, traveling, etc. Reminds me, she complained

recently that I take the kids out of town on purpose so she can't

spend a dinner with them during my week long times with them. Huh? I

spend thousands of dollars on trips with my kids maybe twice a year

so she can't have a couple of dinners with them? Holy crap I

dated/married this woman?

These are all things I like about myself and that make her crazy.

It's most funny to me when she's crazy over things that I've done to

benefit myself. Why would anyone get so worked up over what someone

else does for themselves? I pray every day she gets off her ass and

tries to better herself career, education, financially, etc. I guess

I think it would only help the kids and really me.

Mike in GR

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Okay, I am going on a seven nights cruise in the first

> week

> > > of

> > > > > Feb.

> > > > > > I

> > > > > > > am still in the rapid weight loss phase, so I will wait

> to

> > > buy

> > > > > > outfits

> > > > > > > a few days prior to the cruise (yes, newbies, I said a

> few

> > > days

> > > > > > > prior;you can't imagine how fast the weight falls

> off!)...I

> > > > plan

> > > > > to

> > > > > > > have all my vitamins ready to go and a few protien

> > > > > > > supplements/shakes...does anyone have suggestions for

> > eating

> > > > > while on

> > > > > > > the ship? I am hoping to find something...anything

else

> I

> > > > > should

> > > > > > > pack? lisamathis

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

December 29, 2006

Tim tried to call the girls' mom today again about the child support.

That went over like a ton of bricks. LOL! I don't understand how she

thinks it's fair we keep paying the full amount when Jane is living

here? I'm sure this will wind up in court costing both parties

thousands and ending in the same thing we originally offered her. And

Tim told her that. We've offered her more than what the court says we

should pay to help out w/ her making Jane's car payment & such. Tim

told her if it goes back to court she can forget that. And it will be

retroactive to the date Jane moved in w/ us instead of starting from

now. We'll see. I hate it comes down to this because the kids are the

ones who suffer. But, when you can't make ends meet you gotta do

something. just doesn't realize how lucky she's had it...she

should be in my shoes when it comes to child support! I think that's

what bothers me most about the whole thing.

W

380/255/160

Mike wrote:

> We have joint legal and joint physical custody. However, she is still

> designated as the custodial parent and I am the non-custodial parent.

> This allows me to see my kids very often while still making any time

> she gives them to me in addition to my already liberal time perceived

> by her, the court, most people as a gift to me.

>

> These designations also allow her to receive massive support

> payments, after all she is the custodial parent right? The court

> worked very hard to, while allowing me a lot of time with the kids,

> to not allow me a lot of overnights. Overnights with the non-

> custodial father are the financial killer for women. At a certain

> amount of overnights she would get less support.

>

> Now with joint physical/legal I get the ability to weigh in on

> school, medical, etc. decisions. Strangely enough in our judgement of

> divorce (JOD) it says specifically that we are to work out their

> school issues between ourselves but if she decides to send them to

> private school she must pay. That may appear inoxious but that has

> essentially had the effect in practice of her having the final say

> since all she has to do is say they're going to private school. So

> what right? Well they were both going to private. Then she managed to

> convince a suburban district that she was moving to their district.

> Now my daughter goes there but my son, after having gone there for a

> semester and having difficulties academically and they had few sixth

> grade sports, was brought back, unilaterally by her, to his original

> school. Of course you could argue none of this is massively hurtful

> to my children's career but don't fool yourself into thinking I have

> any say into any of this. She calls me on these things and, granted

> bitterly, my first words are, " I appreciate the call but what exactly

> do you want from me here? What choice do I have in the matter? " I

> certainly do express my opnion to her but it does little good.

>

> Of course I haven't tested the medical arena and hopefully won't have

> to. After all she's the custodial parent and, well, there you have

> it. There's no doubting that custodialness simple because it's her

> title.

>

> She lives about a half mile from my house so as the children enter

> their teen years the idea of where they spend their evenings is

> getting even more ridiculous. Heck, on either of our designated

> weekends they're doing sleep overs with their friends frequently.

>

> If you can avoid getting all pent up over the stupidity of the whole

> thing and realize that certainly SOME of your money, about 2/3 I

> figure, does end up paying for utilities and clothing, etc. for the

> kids then it's not so bad.

>

> Oh she does work by the way. She HAD a full time job as well as a

> part time waitressing job (not moving beyond that was one of the

> reasons we divorced). She rarely takes a vacation, certainly not more

> than a week a year. She often asks that I pick the kids up outside my

> time with them although I'm often at their events anyway. Speaking of

> which, what's the deal with practices and not allowing parents to

> attend? I mean I understand it might be a distraction I guess but

> damn it's sort of a hassle to drive the kids out, usually in rush

> hour traffic, drive back home again in rush hour traffic to eat

> dinner alone or clean alone, drive back 1.5-2 hrs later, drive them

> back home again and have to feed them separately either before or

> after. Not to mention that ALL the parents are doing this. Just seems

> stupid to me.

>

> Her full time work changed this summer when she quit her office

> management position out of lack of satisfaction and suspecion of

> being plotted against or something (I try not to get involved in her

> life ya know) and took a job with a start up company that repaired

> industrial trucks or something. That job turned out to be a shell or

> poorly run or both and checks started to bounce and banks came a

> calling. So now she's seeking employment and, of course, making waves

> about taking me to court to refigure support. I laugh at her (often).

> She tells me she worked for a law firm (the job she quit at the

> beginning here) and she knows what she's doing. I respond

> with, " Honey, I have budgeted about $2500 a year, and always purchase

> an extra week of vacation from my employer. You just pick the day and

> time and I'll show up in a suit with my attorney. " I'll usually throw

> in something like, " Make it a Friday, I know that's a busy day for

> you and it might as well inconveince one of us right? " I also explain

> to her that she's not a victim of employment circumstance here but

> her one poor choices. If she feels the court will reward her for poor

> choices then she should pursue this but don't expect it to be a free

> ride through court because I'll fight it. You gotta love the drama!

>

> Needless to say no papers have been filed and she's just blowing

> smoke. You also can't just bring this stuff up on support ever month.

> The court would tire of that but quick. She'll probably bring it up

> on schedule, every two years.

>

> Obviously there's all sorts of other drama in many other areas of

> this whole thing outside of finances and children that she's brought

> into this. Me? I just wanted to get the hell out of the relationship,

> that's why I filed, makes sense right? She still doesn't seem to

> really want to severe things. Hopefully when the children are 18+

> that will change. I think it will.

>

> It looks like this might be a day of rambling on my part. Feel free

> to send me a private email if you want the information on other

> drama. I'm not completely without guilt in any of this either. Often

> I'm petty too. What make she and I different is I have a high degree

> of follow through and can carry a grudge much longer and with much

> more effectiveness than she can. By that I mean I forgive but never

> forget and I choose my revenge through means that require little or

> no effort/$ on my part and benefit me more than her. That usually

> makes her pretty crazy. Funny. I always tell my fellow divorcees that

> you can't spend time and money trying to get even with anyone. You're

> basically spending time and money to make yourself crazy and screw up

> or ignore what's really important in your life. However, if you can

> think things through and find that golden route of ease and yet

> poignant revenge it's pure magic.

>

> Examples:

> I earned three additional college degrees while our divorce

> progressed. One at a 3.75GPA and two masters at a 4.0GPA.

>

> I kept my job and yet was able to drop work and take days off

> virtually at will.

>

> I own a house (duplex) and manage it/rent it, etc.

>

> Of course, surgery to improve my health. Add to that working out

> daily and looking better (so others tell me sometimes).

>

> I'm usually happy and pleasant especially when she's highly stressed

> and pissed. I also discount her regular apologies (after all the get

> old and repetative).

>

> I'm consistant, predictable and reliable.

>

> Dating, having friends, traveling, etc. Reminds me, she complained

> recently that I take the kids out of town on purpose so she can't

> spend a dinner with them during my week long times with them. Huh? I

> spend thousands of dollars on trips with my kids maybe twice a year

> so she can't have a couple of dinners with them? Holy crap I

> dated/married this woman?

>

> These are all things I like about myself and that make her crazy.

> It's most funny to me when she's crazy over things that I've done to

> benefit myself. Why would anyone get so worked up over what someone

> else does for themselves? I pray every day she gets off her ass and

> tries to better herself career, education, financially, etc. I guess

> I think it would only help the kids and really me.

>

> Mike in GR

December 29, 2006

I hate that you and Tim are going to have to take her back to court, but

some people get greedy and just do not listen and it will be bad for her and

almost funny if the court gives her what Tim has offered her and what is the

need for dragging that through the court system that is already bogged down

heavily and costing too much money to do it.

Lin

422-338-250

Lhsh@...

American by birth,

Saved by the grace of God.