Guest guest Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Ceejer, Welcome to the group. Its great she has you for support. I was diagnosed 16 yrs ago at age 44. I was told I had a 60% chance of the cancer coming back, plus a chance of leukemia sometime in my later years due to a side effect of the one chemo. I had Stage II, one bad node, 6 mo chemo, no radiation not reconstruction. The statistics are just numbers. Nothing else. I had friends that had much better chances than me and some have passed away. There is only ONE that knows how long we will live and hes not telling us. If she is depressed maybe she should get on some antidepressants for awhile. Please keep us posted and I will keep her in my prayers. Hugs nne Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html BreastCancerStories.com http://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/ Angel Feather Loomer www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com Check out my other ornaments at www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html Lots of info and gifts at: www.cancerclub.com Hi, new member Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so that I can better help her through this. She has completed four sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had friends and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for her and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and depressed. She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV positive, but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, and I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information on how I can help her? ceejer ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.407 / Virus Database: 268.12.11/460 - Release Date: 10/1/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Ceejer, Welcome to the group. Its great she has you for support. I was diagnosed 16 yrs ago at age 44. I was told I had a 60% chance of the cancer coming back, plus a chance of leukemia sometime in my later years due to a side effect of the one chemo. I had Stage II, one bad node, 6 mo chemo, no radiation not reconstruction. The statistics are just numbers. Nothing else. I had friends that had much better chances than me and some have passed away. There is only ONE that knows how long we will live and hes not telling us. If she is depressed maybe she should get on some antidepressants for awhile. Please keep us posted and I will keep her in my prayers. Hugs nne Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html BreastCancerStories.com http://www.breastcancerstories.com/content/view/433/161/ Angel Feather Loomer www.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.com Check out my other ornaments at www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html Lots of info and gifts at: www.cancerclub.com Hi, new member Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so that I can better help her through this. She has completed four sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had friends and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for her and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and depressed. She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV positive, but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, and I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information on how I can help her? ceejer ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.407 / Virus Database: 268.12.11/460 - Release Date: 10/1/2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Hi CJ. Boy is she lucky to have you in her life! I have a couple of thoughts about what you wrote. First of all, I think she needs someone fearless to hear her talk about dying. She is grieving and terrified. I think she needs to be able to talk to someone about that. And you, living with HIV, might be the perfect person. Second, I suspect her depression predates her diagnosis. She may need to see a therapist. And she sure needs to be on antidepressants! The chemo alone would certainly stimulate any underlying depression. I speak from experience here as I have been on anti-depressants for years and had to increase my dosage just to get through the last year and a half. I hope this is not too intrusive a post. Maya > > Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b > locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so > that I can better help her through this. She has completed four > sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for > surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had friends > and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for her > and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and depressed. > She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks > her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. > She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded > very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV positive, > but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, and > I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want > to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will > survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a > good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information on > how I can help her? > > ceejer > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Hi CJ. Boy is she lucky to have you in her life! I have a couple of thoughts about what you wrote. First of all, I think she needs someone fearless to hear her talk about dying. She is grieving and terrified. I think she needs to be able to talk to someone about that. And you, living with HIV, might be the perfect person. Second, I suspect her depression predates her diagnosis. She may need to see a therapist. And she sure needs to be on antidepressants! The chemo alone would certainly stimulate any underlying depression. I speak from experience here as I have been on anti-depressants for years and had to increase my dosage just to get through the last year and a half. I hope this is not too intrusive a post. Maya > > Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b > locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so > that I can better help her through this. She has completed four > sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for > surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had friends > and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for her > and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and depressed. > She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks > her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. > She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded > very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV positive, > but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, and > I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want > to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will > survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a > good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information on > how I can help her? > > ceejer > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Hi CJ - your friend is lucky to have you as a good friend! I'm sure she is overwhelmed right now and it sounds as if she's feeling " alone " in this, even though she has you. Sounds like she may need to be on some anti-depressant meds though, that may help. Like many have said, it's a numbers game really. Some of us who have higher percentages will get a recurrance and some with lower percentages will beat it and go into remission. Unfortunately, there is no way to predict this and that uncertainty weighs heavily on us all. I'm sure she looks to you for support because of your situation. She may need some time to process this all. I didn't join a group of any kind until after I had finished my chemo and was into radiation. Couldn't handle it at the time, but am so glad that I am part of this group now. Best of luck to you and your friend. Ellen > > Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b > locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so > that I can better help her through this. She has completed four > sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for > surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had friends > and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for her > and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and depressed. > She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks > her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. > She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded > very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV positive, > but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, and > I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want > to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will > survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a > good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information on > how I can help her? > > ceejer > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Hi CJ - your friend is lucky to have you as a good friend! I'm sure she is overwhelmed right now and it sounds as if she's feeling " alone " in this, even though she has you. Sounds like she may need to be on some anti-depressant meds though, that may help. Like many have said, it's a numbers game really. Some of us who have higher percentages will get a recurrance and some with lower percentages will beat it and go into remission. Unfortunately, there is no way to predict this and that uncertainty weighs heavily on us all. I'm sure she looks to you for support because of your situation. She may need some time to process this all. I didn't join a group of any kind until after I had finished my chemo and was into radiation. Couldn't handle it at the time, but am so glad that I am part of this group now. Best of luck to you and your friend. Ellen > > Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b > locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so > that I can better help her through this. She has completed four > sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for > surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had friends > and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for her > and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and depressed. > She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks > her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. > She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded > very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV positive, > but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, and > I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want > to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will > survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a > good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information on > how I can help her? > > ceejer > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2006 Report Share Posted October 2, 2006 Hi CJ - your friend is lucky to have you as a good friend! I'm sure she is overwhelmed right now and it sounds as if she's feeling " alone " in this, even though she has you. Sounds like she may need to be on some anti-depressant meds though, that may help. Like many have said, it's a numbers game really. Some of us who have higher percentages will get a recurrance and some with lower percentages will beat it and go into remission. Unfortunately, there is no way to predict this and that uncertainty weighs heavily on us all. I'm sure she looks to you for support because of your situation. She may need some time to process this all. I didn't join a group of any kind until after I had finished my chemo and was into radiation. Couldn't handle it at the time, but am so glad that I am part of this group now. Best of luck to you and your friend. Ellen > > Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b > locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so > that I can better help her through this. She has completed four > sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for > surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had friends > and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for her > and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and depressed. > She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks > her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. > She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded > very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV positive, > but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, and > I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want > to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will > survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a > good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information on > how I can help her? > > ceejer > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 Thanks everyone for their responses. I am a member of an HIV POS group too, so needless to say it took me an hour to go through all the posts this morning. I have the HIV info understood and now this is a whole new ball game in regard to issues specific to this disease; treatments, etc. Its staggering. When I was diagnosed I was told I had maybe two years left and I passed my 10 year anniversary this summer. I just don't know how to convince my friend that nothing is in permanent ink, no one really knows what is going to happen. I see stories on here about women with NO insurance, NO support really and its incredible the strength we all draw from each other. I am going to suggest to her the anti depressants. For me, I take care of myself and take my meds, but I ignore my disease. Its not ME. I just need to make my friend understand that she isnt BC. I will continue to read and see what is going on with everyone. Are there alot of survivors in stage III? Thanks again! cj Ellen wrote: Hi CJ - your friend is lucky to have you as a good friend! I'm sure she is overwhelmed right now and it sounds as if she's feeling " alone " in this, even though she has you. Sounds like she may need to be on some anti-depressant meds though, that may help. Like many have said, it's a numbers game really. Some of us who have higher percentages will get a recurrance and some with lower percentages will beat it and go into remission. Unfortunately, there is no way to predict this and that uncertainty weighs heavily on us all. I'm sure she looks to you for support because of your situation. She may need some time to process this all. I didn't join a group of any kind until after I had finished my chemo and was into radiation. Couldn't handle it at the time, but am so glad that I am part of this group now. Best of luck to you and your friend. Ellen > > Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b > locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so > that I can better help her through this. She has completed four > sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for > surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had friends > and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for her > and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and depressed. > She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks > her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. > She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded > very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV positive, > but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, and > I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want > to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will > survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a > good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information on > how I can help her? > > ceejer > --------------------------------- Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 3, 2006 Report Share Posted October 3, 2006 CJ: It took me a long time to accept that I am not BC; I do as you do now, I take my meds and get on with things. I know I'm going to be in pain no matter what I do, so I just made up my mind to go and do what I want and ignore it. Hugs to you for being such a good friend. > > > > Hi my name is CJ and my best friend has been diagnosed with stage 3b > > locally advanced breast cancer, non inflammatory. I am joining so > > that I can better help her through this. She has completed four > > sessions of chemo to shrink her cancer, and now she is slated for > > surgery on Oct 11. She has a large support system and has had > friends > > and family staying with her since her diagnoses, to help care for > her > > and her family. Lately she seems to be more despondant and > depressed. > > She got a number of 24% survival rate off of the web so she thinks > > her chances of dying are very good. She is 42 and in good health. > > She has been taken care of very well, and her cancer has responded > > very well to the chemo and shrunk alot. I personally am HIV > positive, > > but I feel that she may resent my relating her situation to mine, > and > > I keep telling her that she needs to stay positive. She doesnt want > > to hear about survivors because she says that doesnt mean she will > > survive. I hate to see her this way and from my research, she has a > > good chance of survival. Does anyone have any helpful information > on > > how I can help her? > > > > ceejer > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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