dealing with big functions/weddings, etc.

[Guest guest]

I was just diagnosed during the summer, so a lot of things are new to

me. Today and I received an invitation to a wedding (to take

place in November). How do y'all deal with eating at things such as this?

I'd appreciate any help you could offer. We really want to go and

enjoy and hopefully eat (and drink!) with our friends. It will be out

of town, if that matters.

Carla

San , CA

[Guest guest]

> I was just diagnosed during the summer, so a lot of things are new to

> me. Today and I received an invitation to a wedding (to take

> place in November). How do y'all deal with eating at things such as

> this?

>

============

Carla

I call the bride or groom and explain about my dietary issues. I

generally ask them if I may talk to the caterer directly. Then the

caterer and I come up with a meal that is safe for me. Often I eat a

very simple meal, but sometimes the caterer prepares something truly

magnificent for me.

I never leave it till I get there because the bride and groom are

paying top dollar for a meal that I may not be able to eat.

Shez

[Guest guest]

Carla and Listmates:

I usually call (3 -7 days in advance) the hotel, facility directly

and ask to speak with the catering manager. I tell them that I will

be a guest of host/hostess at x event and go over my needs. I

usually tell them that I need to anticipate what will be safe for me

to eat. Usually if there are problems, then they volunteer the

alternatives and give me instructions on how to handle it at the

event. I have not had any problems doing this. If the event is not

at a hotel or facility that provides a food service, then I call the

place and ask who will be the caterer for the event. Usually the

event information includes that.

My presumption is that the celebrant(s)/event coordinators are busy

with a lot of details and don't need to add any more things for them

to worry about. I have had no problems doing this and I do it a lot.

Amazingly I have had a good number of functions where there were no,

or few, problems with the menu. Dessert is most often the problem

area. As in Shez's experience at times there is something special

prepared for me.

Betsy in DC

>

>

>> I was just diagnosed during the summer, so a lot of things are new to

>> me. Today and I received an invitation to a wedding (to take

>> place in November). How do y'all deal with eating at things such as

>> this?

>>

>============

>

>Carla

>

>I call the bride or groom and explain about my dietary issues. I

>generally ask them if I may talk to the caterer directly. Then the

>caterer and I come up with a meal that is safe for me. Often I eat a

>very simple meal, but sometimes the caterer prepares something truly

>magnificent for me.

>

>I never leave it till I get there because the bride and groom are

>paying top dollar for a meal that I may not be able to eat.

>

>Shez

[Guest guest]

>> I was just diagnosed during the summer, so a lot of things are new to> me. Today and I received an invitation to a wedding (to take> place in November). How do y'all deal with eating at things such as this?> > I'd appreciate any help you could offer. We really want to go and> enjoy and hopefully eat (and drink!) with our friends. It will be out> of town, if that matters.> > Carla> San , CA>I am with Shez on this, do call ahead of time. MOST caterers will make a "special" meal for you. The bride and groom are paying for the meals regardless of how much or how little you eat. Just be sure to take a bit of extra care on cross contamanation issues. I now avoid salad bars, as people oft times dont think that using the tongs for the bread and picking up salad are going to hurt anyone.Have a great time, and try to have fun!Best!CassiGluten free (but feeling worse by the minute) in downtown Imatra!(remind me not to go to Savonlinna again....)

[Guest guest]

> ncludes that.

>

> My presumption is that the celebrant(s)/event coordinators are busy

> with a lot of details and don't need to add any more things for them

> to worry about.

============

The reason I call to find out who the caterer is, is because just

about all the events I go to are kosher and you have no way of

knowing who the caterer even if you know where the event is going to

be held.

Shez

[Guest guest]

In my exeperience with big events I either ate before I went or after

I got home. If you know the couple really well that are getting

married and you fell comfortable asking them, Ask what is going to be

served and tell them your problem. If it was me and I was newly

diagnosed I would eat before so no one has to cater to you.

KCMO

>

> I was just diagnosed during the summer, so a lot of things are new to

> me. Today and I received an invitation to a wedding (to take

> place in November). How do y'all deal with eating at things such as

this?

>

> I'd appreciate any help you could offer. We really want to go and

> enjoy and hopefully eat (and drink!) with our friends. It will be out

> of town, if that matters.

>

> Carla

> San , CA

>

[Guest guest]

I've only been to one function since diagnosis. That was my high

school reunion. (No, I'm not telling me how many years. Suffice

to say, it's a good number.) I ordered a GF meal and my dearest

friend ordered a Kosher meal. It was only one month after my

diagnosis so I was an event virgin, if you will. My friend warned

me that often at events like this the secret is to leave the house

well-fed because there's no guarantee that you'll be able to eat

at the event. How right she was! My GF meal was a plate of boiled

chicken and steamed broccoli. Oh. Yum. But worse, for her, was

that the Kosher meal was graciously opened by the kitchen, thus

un-Koshering it. I had something remotely edible. My dear friend

got nothing at all.

Moral: unless the hotel/caterer truly has a clue, the best advice

is given by my non-celiac Kosher best friend from high school:

Leave the house already well fed!

The only other " function " was the gathering after my mother's

funeral. Since *I* arranged the catering, I got food I was able

to eat. The baked potato bar was FANTASTIC. There was some

gluten at the event, but very little. And it was far away from

the foods I'd like to eat. And since the caterer I called happened

to have a wheat-allergic person who answers the phone and sets

up the initial consultation, I knew I was in the right hands when

I called them. The wheat-allergic lady could REALLY relate to my

sentiment of " I'm paying for this shin-dig; I want to eat safely. "

Good luck!

Call in advance.

Call shortly in advance to confirm.

And leave the house well-fed.

That's my advice.

Esther in RI

>

> I was just diagnosed during the summer, so a lot of things are

> new to

> me. Today and I received an invitation to a wedding (to take

> place in November). How do y'all deal with eating at things such as

this?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Definitely call ahead, I have been to many functions and have been told

many times " If only you had told us ahead of time! " BUT be prepared

for lots of grilled chicken and steamed vegetables. Also usually the

appetizers and hors d'oeuvres are a no-no except for cheese and

veggies. Same for dessert. So don't go hungry, definitely eat

beforehand.

Sometimes you get a great caterer that will tell you exactly what you

can and can't have, down to every last detail, and will prepare you a

nice meal. The fancier the establishment, the easier it is. But this

is not usually the case.

[Guest guest]

I guess we all have different philosophies on how to deal with events.

I went to a lot of weddings about in the last five years and actually,

it never occured to me to try and contact caterers etc. Instead I

asked the caterers at the event. It seemed that there was always

someone there well informed about the menu items that could help me

find things to eat. Dinner events always seemed to work out pretty

well- the only thing that didn't was a friend's afternoon wedding that

was catered by her family- lots of sandwiches! I think I had two

pieces of lettuce and a baby tomato. I was pretty surprised, actually,

because this was a dear friend from high school who knew all about my

dietary restrictions, but she just didn't think about it I guess. But,

since it was an early event, we just went out to eat after. I've also

had great surprises- like the best broccoli ever, and chocolate dipped

strawberries served at the same time as the cake. (I think I ate six!)

If any events were to come up in the future I suppose I might try and

contact the caterer. Bringing food also works nicely (especially non

bulky protein bars etc for emergency). Even though I am a foodie,

though, food at events like weddings etc. just isn't my main focus-

I'm more interested in the event--- and the dancing!!!

>

> Definitely call ahead, I have been to many functions and have been told

> many times " If only you had told us ahead of time! " BUT be prepared

> for lots of grilled chicken and steamed vegetables. Also usually the

> appetizers and hors d'oeuvres are a no-no except for cheese and

> veggies. Same for dessert. So don't go hungry, definitely eat

> beforehand.

>

[Guest guest]

I went to a wedding last week.

I had gotten email from the groom to be...as he sent a note to two of us friends that have Celiac. The caterer said, "it is okay to bring your own food." "We don't feel safe giving you anything due to possible cc."

Well, I thought that seemed crazy. So I went to the caterer and spoke to them. Told them my allergies and wheat/gluten issue. Got a call the next day from the food prep person...ultimately found out she was 'scared' as they didn't want anyone to drop dead on them...

So I straightened out her thinking. It is not like a peanut allergy, where I could just up and die within 5 minutes. She felt better about it, I educated her. They ended up preparing a meal for me (same as everyone else) just set aside ahead of time. It was just small pieces of chicken (I couldn't have the tomato sauce) so that was set aside, before the tomato went on it all. I had some veggies (just boiled) and I had lots of yummy fruit slices. It was very easy for them to do this. They just had to do it ahead. I reassured her, that heating it up in the microwave was FINE. She was concerned about that.

I enjoyed my meal. Had M & Ms with the bride and grooms names/date for 'dessert' while everyone else had cake...and one friend was thrilled to have my piece of cake.

Everything was just lovely...and the caterer learned something new.

HTH,

[Guest guest]

Well, my husband was a groomsman in a wedding just a week ago. So we

knew the couple getting married very well. I sent in a copy of a GF

restaurant card with our response card, with my name and a spot for my

table # on the back. This way, I didn't have to bother the bride

during the stressful time and she didn't have to worry on the day of

the big event. She gave a copy to the rehearsal dinner manager and

one to the wedding cater. Everything worked out great!! I only had

to substitute a side at the rehearsal dinner (mashed potatoes instead

of pasta). And the prime rib at the wedding was deliscious. I did

have to skip the appetizer course though, it was pasta! But that was

alright with me, still had my fill of food!

This was the first time I've tried this. Normally, I just wing it

(unless I know the couple personally). If it is a distant relative,

I'll just tuck some breakfast bars in my purse, just in case. But I

can't remember a time when I've actually had to eat those.

Generally speaking, if there is a choice between chicken or beef, the

beef is a safer bet. The chicken is normally stuffed or has some type

of coating & a sauce/gravy on it. Beef is often served dry without

any sauces and normally just has potatoes & veggies as a side.

>

> I was just diagnosed during the summer, so a lot of things are new to

> me. Today and I received an invitation to a wedding (to take

> place in November). How do y'all deal with eating at things such as

this?

>

> I'd appreciate any help you could offer. We really want to go and

> enjoy and hopefully eat (and drink!) with our friends. It will be out

> of town, if that matters.

>

> Carla

> San , CA

>