Guest guest Posted February 21, 2001 Report Share Posted February 21, 2001 Ok today I need accountability. I have been bad and know it. Scales show it and they have moved in the WRONG direction. I've slacked off on my protein, eaten the wrong things, gazed, not exercised. been a bum, etc. So today is a new day. I didn't go through that pain and stuff to be 400 lbs again. Proscore 3X today Breakfast English muffin and egg Lunch maybe another proscore maybe some tuna salad on crackers Dinner whatever I make the kids for dinner, usually a casserole type thing but I'm measuring and no more than 1/2 cup WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at least 96oz (4 - 24 oz sport bottles full at least) AND i'm going to RIDE MY BIKE TODAY!!!! Keep me honest gang Love ya, Open RNY 11/8/99 Dr. Ferrari - NeWeigh Houston, TX Starting Weight 400 lbs Down 185 lbs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2001 Report Share Posted February 28, 2001 In a message dated 02/28/2001 5:31:31 AM Pacific Standard Time, tiggrrr@... writes: > talk about my growing awareness that physical feelings, anger, tiredness, > being judgmental, can work as a trigger to me, to blanket myself with food. > And somehow, I have it all worked out inside of myself that it is " ok " to do > such things because I am protecting 'people' from my agitation, my judgments.. > .. etc. See how weird the mind can twist things... Clearly, I eat to save > myself from feeling these things because of my fear that the feeling hurts > more or may get out of control. much work to do... thanks all, for listening.. > .. be well, tig This is a wonderful breakthrough! You were in total awareness and needed to use food. That's OK . . .You need to know that you are not alone! I know I certainly didn't get to be 100+ pounds overweight by eating just for physical hunger. I remember hating every bite I took, but being powerless to stop. And now that I do just eat for physical hunger (and the pleasure that accompanies that) I too have to learn proper ways to deal with feeling and situations that I used to stuff with food. So far I am using journaling, writing and friends to sort through it all. I have learned that I am not alone or all that unique and that has been comforting. So I am building a new emotional maturity little by little. It is a maturity level I never could have obtained as long as I still used food to numb myself. ) Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2001 Report Share Posted February 28, 2001 In a message dated 02/28/2001 5:31:31 AM Pacific Standard Time, tiggrrr@... writes: > talk about my growing awareness that physical feelings, anger, tiredness, > being judgmental, can work as a trigger to me, to blanket myself with food. > And somehow, I have it all worked out inside of myself that it is " ok " to do > such things because I am protecting 'people' from my agitation, my judgments.. > .. etc. See how weird the mind can twist things... Clearly, I eat to save > myself from feeling these things because of my fear that the feeling hurts > more or may get out of control. much work to do... thanks all, for listening.. > .. be well, tig This is a wonderful breakthrough! You were in total awareness and needed to use food. That's OK . . .You need to know that you are not alone! I know I certainly didn't get to be 100+ pounds overweight by eating just for physical hunger. I remember hating every bite I took, but being powerless to stop. And now that I do just eat for physical hunger (and the pleasure that accompanies that) I too have to learn proper ways to deal with feeling and situations that I used to stuff with food. So far I am using journaling, writing and friends to sort through it all. I have learned that I am not alone or all that unique and that has been comforting. So I am building a new emotional maturity little by little. It is a maturity level I never could have obtained as long as I still used food to numb myself. ) Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2001 Report Share Posted February 28, 2001 In a message dated 02/28/2001 5:31:31 AM Pacific Standard Time, tiggrrr@... writes: > talk about my growing awareness that physical feelings, anger, tiredness, > being judgmental, can work as a trigger to me, to blanket myself with food. > And somehow, I have it all worked out inside of myself that it is " ok " to do > such things because I am protecting 'people' from my agitation, my judgments.. > .. etc. See how weird the mind can twist things... Clearly, I eat to save > myself from feeling these things because of my fear that the feeling hurts > more or may get out of control. much work to do... thanks all, for listening.. > .. be well, tig This is a wonderful breakthrough! You were in total awareness and needed to use food. That's OK . . .You need to know that you are not alone! I know I certainly didn't get to be 100+ pounds overweight by eating just for physical hunger. I remember hating every bite I took, but being powerless to stop. And now that I do just eat for physical hunger (and the pleasure that accompanies that) I too have to learn proper ways to deal with feeling and situations that I used to stuff with food. So far I am using journaling, writing and friends to sort through it all. I have learned that I am not alone or all that unique and that has been comforting. So I am building a new emotional maturity little by little. It is a maturity level I never could have obtained as long as I still used food to numb myself. ) Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2001 Report Share Posted March 1, 2001 Hi Tig! I hear ya ! I've done this more times than I care to admit too.. I hate myself after I do it and think.. you idiot . what in blazes name do you think you are doing. I know that's much of my slow loss problem.. I try to eat/drink the protein first.. sometimes it helps... sometimes it doesn't. I think by posting it it helps give us all a wake up call. Thank you for sharing with us. It truly is admirable that you are brave enough to post and share with us.. and by doing that it has sure made me see the light! thanks again. I usually just suffer in silence and beat myself up. Lynnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2001 Report Share Posted March 1, 2001 Hi Tig! I hear ya ! I've done this more times than I care to admit too.. I hate myself after I do it and think.. you idiot . what in blazes name do you think you are doing. I know that's much of my slow loss problem.. I try to eat/drink the protein first.. sometimes it helps... sometimes it doesn't. I think by posting it it helps give us all a wake up call. Thank you for sharing with us. It truly is admirable that you are brave enough to post and share with us.. and by doing that it has sure made me see the light! thanks again. I usually just suffer in silence and beat myself up. Lynnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2001 Report Share Posted March 1, 2001 Hi Tig! I hear ya ! I've done this more times than I care to admit too.. I hate myself after I do it and think.. you idiot . what in blazes name do you think you are doing. I know that's much of my slow loss problem.. I try to eat/drink the protein first.. sometimes it helps... sometimes it doesn't. I think by posting it it helps give us all a wake up call. Thank you for sharing with us. It truly is admirable that you are brave enough to post and share with us.. and by doing that it has sure made me see the light! thanks again. I usually just suffer in silence and beat myself up. Lynnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2001 Report Share Posted March 1, 2001 Thanks to all of you who wrote me about this post. It seems I am learning so many things and I know that I am learning much from this group. We have so much to teach each other.....eating for me has always been put in a shameful, secret, place... deep inside of me. I think more because I was ashamed that I could not be like others who passed judgment on me.... most of them never obese... but having struggled with their own weight issues/ and /or, my Dr., peers.... etc. In this Country, you can't grow up, especially as a woman... without significant awareness that you either are accepted or rejected because of your weight. In some ways, this is true for men also.... Part of my success depends on me not making this secret anymore. I have learned that I don't just go up to a person at the mall and tell them I almost ate myself into a coma...... but I can come here.... with all of you guys who at one time or another know the emotional and physical pain of such things. I tell myself that talking about the struggle may help someone else... and writing it in a public way.... makes me see it for the first time....beyond whatever " spin " my head put on such things in the past. I feel humble and grateful to be part of this group... the daily messages help me to get healthy..... thanks, tig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2001 Report Share Posted March 1, 2001 Thanks to all of you who wrote me about this post. It seems I am learning so many things and I know that I am learning much from this group. We have so much to teach each other.....eating for me has always been put in a shameful, secret, place... deep inside of me. I think more because I was ashamed that I could not be like others who passed judgment on me.... most of them never obese... but having struggled with their own weight issues/ and /or, my Dr., peers.... etc. In this Country, you can't grow up, especially as a woman... without significant awareness that you either are accepted or rejected because of your weight. In some ways, this is true for men also.... Part of my success depends on me not making this secret anymore. I have learned that I don't just go up to a person at the mall and tell them I almost ate myself into a coma...... but I can come here.... with all of you guys who at one time or another know the emotional and physical pain of such things. I tell myself that talking about the struggle may help someone else... and writing it in a public way.... makes me see it for the first time....beyond whatever " spin " my head put on such things in the past. I feel humble and grateful to be part of this group... the daily messages help me to get healthy..... thanks, tig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2001 Report Share Posted March 2, 2001 IN A NUTSHELL. Well said! Thanks, www.vitalady.com https://secure.paypal.com/affil/pal=vitalady%40bigfoot.com > Thanks to all of you who wrote me about this post. It seems I am learning so > many things and I know that I am learning much from this group. We have so > much to teach each other.....eating for me has always been put in a > shameful, secret, place... deep inside of me. I think more because I was > ashamed that I could not be like others who passed judgment on me.... most > of them never obese... but having struggled with their own weight issues/ > and /or, my Dr., peers.... etc. > In this Country, you can't grow up, especially as a woman... without > significant awareness that you either are accepted or rejected because of > your weight. In some ways, this is true for men also.... > Part of my success depends on me not making this secret anymore. I have > learned that I don't just go up to a person at the mall and tell them I > almost ate myself into a coma...... but I can come here.... with all of you > guys who at one time or another know the emotional and physical pain of such > things. I tell myself that talking about the struggle may help someone > else... and writing it in a public way.... makes me see it for the first > time....beyond whatever " spin " my head put on such things in the past. I > feel humble and grateful to be part of this group... the daily messages help > me to get healthy..... thanks, tig > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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