Re: lithium (not the Nirvana song)

[Guest guest]

exactly. nirvana summed it up well. also, the ONLY thing that kept

me in school was my very strict and structured mother. i had to put

myself on a schedule, and when i learned about behavior mod and all

of that, i was my very first practice. i still have to lead a very

structured life. no wonder and I understand one another so

well. sigh. but i know exactly what you mean. my dr says that's a

chief complaint about taking the lithium and becoming " normal "

persoanlly I think normal sucks.

> I was dx'd after I had my baby, too.

>

> My pre-dx history sounds a lot like yours -- from 18-26 years old I

lived at

> 21 different addresses. My friends kept track. :-P

>

> Dropped out of 4 college programs. Enrolled in, but did not

attend, 3

> others. (enrolled during obvious manic phases)

>

> I know what you mean about lithium taking away your creativity. I

mourned

> that loss for a long time. Sometimes it seems a high price to pay

to be

> 'normal', doesn't it?

>

> I've been on it for 6 years now, and I've found that some of the

verve has

> come back, but nothing like before. I used to be what I thought of

as

> vibrant. That's definitely gone. LOL.

>

> Your subject line caught my attention, because if you listen

to 'Lithium' by

> Nirvana -- it's a pretty good portrait of BP, isn't it?

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

exactly. nirvana summed it up well. also, the ONLY thing that kept

me in school was my very strict and structured mother. i had to put

myself on a schedule, and when i learned about behavior mod and all

of that, i was my very first practice. i still have to lead a very

structured life. no wonder and I understand one another so

well. sigh. but i know exactly what you mean. my dr says that's a

chief complaint about taking the lithium and becoming " normal "

persoanlly I think normal sucks.

> I was dx'd after I had my baby, too.

>

> My pre-dx history sounds a lot like yours -- from 18-26 years old I

lived at

> 21 different addresses. My friends kept track. :-P

>

> Dropped out of 4 college programs. Enrolled in, but did not

attend, 3

> others. (enrolled during obvious manic phases)

>

> I know what you mean about lithium taking away your creativity. I

mourned

> that loss for a long time. Sometimes it seems a high price to pay

to be

> 'normal', doesn't it?

>

> I've been on it for 6 years now, and I've found that some of the

verve has

> come back, but nothing like before. I used to be what I thought of

as

> vibrant. That's definitely gone. LOL.

>

> Your subject line caught my attention, because if you listen

to 'Lithium' by

> Nirvana -- it's a pretty good portrait of BP, isn't it?

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

exactly. nirvana summed it up well. also, the ONLY thing that kept

me in school was my very strict and structured mother. i had to put

myself on a schedule, and when i learned about behavior mod and all

of that, i was my very first practice. i still have to lead a very

structured life. no wonder and I understand one another so

well. sigh. but i know exactly what you mean. my dr says that's a

chief complaint about taking the lithium and becoming " normal "

persoanlly I think normal sucks.

> I was dx'd after I had my baby, too.

>

> My pre-dx history sounds a lot like yours -- from 18-26 years old I

lived at

> 21 different addresses. My friends kept track. :-P

>

> Dropped out of 4 college programs. Enrolled in, but did not

attend, 3

> others. (enrolled during obvious manic phases)

>

> I know what you mean about lithium taking away your creativity. I

mourned

> that loss for a long time. Sometimes it seems a high price to pay

to be

> 'normal', doesn't it?

>

> I've been on it for 6 years now, and I've found that some of the

verve has

> come back, but nothing like before. I used to be what I thought of

as

> vibrant. That's definitely gone. LOL.

>

> Your subject line caught my attention, because if you listen

to 'Lithium' by

> Nirvana -- it's a pretty good portrait of BP, isn't it?

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

i'm right with you girl, really i am. i don't think you're

very " aspie " either, i think it's just a matter of structure. we

have to have it. i can't spell worth a shit (as you well know) lol.

i know about throwing and breaking things, believe me i do. sigh

>

> >my dr says that's a

> > chief complaint about taking the lithium and becoming " normal "

> > persoanlly I think normal sucks.

> >

>

>

> Me, too. :-( For just that reason I've considered going off the

lithium

> at different times...but then I realize that just before I went ON

the

> lithium I threw a coffee table through a patio door, and if I were

to go off

> the lithium now I'd have no self control whatsoever and someone

would

> probably get really hurt. :-( And then I'd run rampant through my

life and

> destroy the whole thing, and nobody would love me and my kid would

probably

> end up with my ILs. No WAY.

>

> And then there's the weight issue, too. I am one of those lucky

ones who

> lithium made really fat. But I just keep tellin myself, " I'd

rather be fat

> and happy than thin and insane. " Mostly I believe it.

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I was even hospitalized back in may for a severe manic response to

respiradol. I thought someone was trying to kill me. Long story,

but really funny now (you have to laugh about these things). Now,

aren't you glad I'm in the classroom teaching your young? But, you

know? I understand, kids and parents, I really do. When I'm having

off days, I call in sick. My shrink says I'm one of the most

responsible manics he's ever seen. Before I went to the looney bin,

I had my mom come get my kids, then I lost it, and then I went in,

got my meds straighted out, and became a member of society again.

Someday I'll have to write a post about being locked up in the looney

bin, it'a another funny story (you have to laugh). It's hard living

with a disability, but you can do it. It's alot of work, but you can

do it. I've put on more weight since I've started my meds for a

total weight gain of 100 pounds in 5 years. I was normal weight when

I got pregnant with . Now, I'm a friggin cow. And since we

can only eat brown food in this house, it makes it kinda hard. Oh

well, sorry for talking so long CKris (the C is a reminder to spell

Jacquie's name right)

> >

> > >my dr says that's a

> > > chief complaint about taking the lithium and becoming " normal "

> > > persoanlly I think normal sucks.

> > >

> >

> >

> > Me, too. :-( For just that reason I've considered going off

the

> lithium

> > at different times...but then I realize that just before I went

ON

> the

> > lithium I threw a coffee table through a patio door, and if I

were

> to go off

> > the lithium now I'd have no self control whatsoever and someone

> would

> > probably get really hurt. :-( And then I'd run rampant through

my

> life and

> > destroy the whole thing, and nobody would love me and my kid

would

> probably

> > end up with my ILs. No WAY.

> >

> > And then there's the weight issue, too. I am one of those lucky

> ones who

> > lithium made really fat. But I just keep tellin myself, " I'd

> rather be fat

> > and happy than thin and insane. " Mostly I believe it.

> >

> > Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I was even hospitalized back in may for a severe manic response to

respiradol. I thought someone was trying to kill me. Long story,

but really funny now (you have to laugh about these things). Now,

aren't you glad I'm in the classroom teaching your young? But, you

know? I understand, kids and parents, I really do. When I'm having

off days, I call in sick. My shrink says I'm one of the most

responsible manics he's ever seen. Before I went to the looney bin,

I had my mom come get my kids, then I lost it, and then I went in,

got my meds straighted out, and became a member of society again.

Someday I'll have to write a post about being locked up in the looney

bin, it'a another funny story (you have to laugh). It's hard living

with a disability, but you can do it. It's alot of work, but you can

do it. I've put on more weight since I've started my meds for a

total weight gain of 100 pounds in 5 years. I was normal weight when

I got pregnant with . Now, I'm a friggin cow. And since we

can only eat brown food in this house, it makes it kinda hard. Oh

well, sorry for talking so long CKris (the C is a reminder to spell

Jacquie's name right)

> >

> > >my dr says that's a

> > > chief complaint about taking the lithium and becoming " normal "

> > > persoanlly I think normal sucks.

> > >

> >

> >

> > Me, too. :-( For just that reason I've considered going off

the

> lithium

> > at different times...but then I realize that just before I went

ON

> the

> > lithium I threw a coffee table through a patio door, and if I

were

> to go off

> > the lithium now I'd have no self control whatsoever and someone

> would

> > probably get really hurt. :-( And then I'd run rampant through

my

> life and

> > destroy the whole thing, and nobody would love me and my kid

would

> probably

> > end up with my ILs. No WAY.

> >

> > And then there's the weight issue, too. I am one of those lucky

> ones who

> > lithium made really fat. But I just keep tellin myself, " I'd

> rather be fat

> > and happy than thin and insane. " Mostly I believe it.

> >

> > Jacquie

[Guest guest]

That is so amazing Jacquie, it really is. Makes me wonder about me.

I'm very much a " everything has to be the same " type of person, but

I'm also the class clown. Mrs. Personality.........or is it the

waitress face? I get very bent out of shape when things are

unorganized, I've just " learned " not to show what I really feel

inside. Hum.......

[Guest guest]

That is so amazing Jacquie, it really is. Makes me wonder about me.

I'm very much a " everything has to be the same " type of person, but

I'm also the class clown. Mrs. Personality.........or is it the

waitress face? I get very bent out of shape when things are

unorganized, I've just " learned " not to show what I really feel

inside. Hum.......

[Guest guest]

That is so amazing Jacquie, it really is. Makes me wonder about me.

I'm very much a " everything has to be the same " type of person, but

I'm also the class clown. Mrs. Personality.........or is it the

waitress face? I get very bent out of shape when things are

unorganized, I've just " learned " not to show what I really feel

inside. Hum.......

[Guest guest]

sometimes i have to put on waitress face to survive.......sometimes,

i'm ok, and mrs. personality. alot of times i put on waitress face

and then come home and be a total bitch to jim and go to bed because

i'm too tired to deal.... lately i've been in a pretty good mood.

shew, please, if i start to get boring, hit me

i was good in school, but i beat up my mother. i hated her. she was

a good mom, but i trashed my house and hated her. i read at 2 and

was " gifted " but very angry.........(i love my mom now)

>

>

> > That is so amazing Jacquie, it really is. Makes me wonder about

me.

> > I'm very much a " everything has to be the same " type of person,

but

> > I'm also the class clown. Mrs. Personality.........or is it the

> > waitress face?

>

> Well, waitress face is something you conciously put on. I don't

think

> that's the case with you!

>

> And you'd really have to look back into your childhood to know the

answer.

> As an infant, I cried constantly and would not sleep. My mom had to

> medicate me to sleep for two years. I was hyperlexic. I talked

early and

> precociously, using multi-syllabic words at two years old -- " the

little

> professor " Aspergers describes. I had no concept of danger and I

was a

> climber. My social 'coup' in kindergarten was to grab another girl

by the

> hair and tell her, " I'm Jacquie, and you are going to be my friend. "

> Because of my extreme intelligence, they tried to skip me up a

grade -- and

> I kicked the new students and bit the new teacher in the leg. My

mom says

> the teacher described me as 'possessed'. They put me back in my

classroom,

> and I was fine.

>

> Just a taste,

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

sometimes i have to put on waitress face to survive.......sometimes,

i'm ok, and mrs. personality. alot of times i put on waitress face

and then come home and be a total bitch to jim and go to bed because

i'm too tired to deal.... lately i've been in a pretty good mood.

shew, please, if i start to get boring, hit me

i was good in school, but i beat up my mother. i hated her. she was

a good mom, but i trashed my house and hated her. i read at 2 and

was " gifted " but very angry.........(i love my mom now)

>

>

> > That is so amazing Jacquie, it really is. Makes me wonder about

me.

> > I'm very much a " everything has to be the same " type of person,

but

> > I'm also the class clown. Mrs. Personality.........or is it the

> > waitress face?

>

> Well, waitress face is something you conciously put on. I don't

think

> that's the case with you!

>

> And you'd really have to look back into your childhood to know the

answer.

> As an infant, I cried constantly and would not sleep. My mom had to

> medicate me to sleep for two years. I was hyperlexic. I talked

early and

> precociously, using multi-syllabic words at two years old -- " the

little

> professor " Aspergers describes. I had no concept of danger and I

was a

> climber. My social 'coup' in kindergarten was to grab another girl

by the

> hair and tell her, " I'm Jacquie, and you are going to be my friend. "

> Because of my extreme intelligence, they tried to skip me up a

grade -- and

> I kicked the new students and bit the new teacher in the leg. My

mom says

> the teacher described me as 'possessed'. They put me back in my

classroom,

> and I was fine.

>

> Just a taste,

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

sometimes i have to put on waitress face to survive.......sometimes,

i'm ok, and mrs. personality. alot of times i put on waitress face

and then come home and be a total bitch to jim and go to bed because

i'm too tired to deal.... lately i've been in a pretty good mood.

shew, please, if i start to get boring, hit me

i was good in school, but i beat up my mother. i hated her. she was

a good mom, but i trashed my house and hated her. i read at 2 and

was " gifted " but very angry.........(i love my mom now)

>

>

> > That is so amazing Jacquie, it really is. Makes me wonder about

me.

> > I'm very much a " everything has to be the same " type of person,

but

> > I'm also the class clown. Mrs. Personality.........or is it the

> > waitress face?

>

> Well, waitress face is something you conciously put on. I don't

think

> that's the case with you!

>

> And you'd really have to look back into your childhood to know the

answer.

> As an infant, I cried constantly and would not sleep. My mom had to

> medicate me to sleep for two years. I was hyperlexic. I talked

early and

> precociously, using multi-syllabic words at two years old -- " the

little

> professor " Aspergers describes. I had no concept of danger and I

was a

> climber. My social 'coup' in kindergarten was to grab another girl

by the

> hair and tell her, " I'm Jacquie, and you are going to be my friend. "

> Because of my extreme intelligence, they tried to skip me up a

grade -- and

> I kicked the new students and bit the new teacher in the leg. My

mom says

> the teacher described me as 'possessed'. They put me back in my

classroom,

> and I was fine.

>

> Just a taste,

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Seriously.

I respect you both immensely, Jacquie & Kris, for taking the lithium.

I don't know very much about BP except what little I've heard about

it and Sally Field on ER, but the common thread seems to be that

people who have to take it don't like taking it. Weight issues to

boot must really make it a PITA.

It's a sacrifice you make for other people, especially your children.

I admire you!

~ Karin

I think you both are still very witty, creative, and intelligent. It

may not be the highest level of creativity you are capable of, but I

assure you it is miles beyond my own level. Which is basicaly

non-existent. But that's OK. I've accepted that I will never ever be

Martha , much less Picasso. ;-)

[Guest guest]

Seriously.

I respect you both immensely, Jacquie & Kris, for taking the lithium.

I don't know very much about BP except what little I've heard about

it and Sally Field on ER, but the common thread seems to be that

people who have to take it don't like taking it. Weight issues to

boot must really make it a PITA.

It's a sacrifice you make for other people, especially your children.

I admire you!

~ Karin

I think you both are still very witty, creative, and intelligent. It

may not be the highest level of creativity you are capable of, but I

assure you it is miles beyond my own level. Which is basicaly

non-existent. But that's OK. I've accepted that I will never ever be

Martha , much less Picasso. ;-)

[Guest guest]

Seriously.

I respect you both immensely, Jacquie & Kris, for taking the lithium.

I don't know very much about BP except what little I've heard about

it and Sally Field on ER, but the common thread seems to be that

people who have to take it don't like taking it. Weight issues to

boot must really make it a PITA.

It's a sacrifice you make for other people, especially your children.

I admire you!

~ Karin

I think you both are still very witty, creative, and intelligent. It

may not be the highest level of creativity you are capable of, but I

assure you it is miles beyond my own level. Which is basicaly

non-existent. But that's OK. I've accepted that I will never ever be

Martha , much less Picasso. ;-)

[Guest guest]

I am bipolar too, with an emphasis on mania..even my depressions are agitated.

I don't take lithium, however--I've been taking depakote for it, which controls

it well. I'm one of the lucky ones I think in that I don't have to deal with

lithium.

Maggie

[Guest guest]

I am bipolar too, with an emphasis on mania..even my depressions are agitated.

I don't take lithium, however--I've been taking depakote for it, which controls

it well. I'm one of the lucky ones I think in that I don't have to deal with

lithium.

Maggie

[Guest guest]

I am bipolar too, with an emphasis on mania..even my depressions are agitated.

I don't take lithium, however--I've been taking depakote for it, which controls

it well. I'm one of the lucky ones I think in that I don't have to deal with

lithium.

Maggie

[Guest guest]

> Don't judge me by my personality in writing -- I am very 'together' in

> writing. That's always been my gift.

And you DO have a gift.

Truly.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

I was dx'd after I had my baby, too.

My pre-dx history sounds a lot like yours -- from 18-26 years old I lived at

21 different addresses. My friends kept track. :-P

Dropped out of 4 college programs. Enrolled in, but did not attend, 3

others. (enrolled during obvious manic phases)

I know what you mean about lithium taking away your creativity. I mourned

that loss for a long time. Sometimes it seems a high price to pay to be

'normal', doesn't it?

I've been on it for 6 years now, and I've found that some of the verve has

come back, but nothing like before. I used to be what I thought of as

vibrant. That's definitely gone. LOL.

Your subject line caught my attention, because if you listen to 'Lithium' by

Nirvana -- it's a pretty good portrait of BP, isn't it?

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I was dx'd after I had my baby, too.

My pre-dx history sounds a lot like yours -- from 18-26 years old I lived at

21 different addresses. My friends kept track. :-P

Dropped out of 4 college programs. Enrolled in, but did not attend, 3

others. (enrolled during obvious manic phases)

I know what you mean about lithium taking away your creativity. I mourned

that loss for a long time. Sometimes it seems a high price to pay to be

'normal', doesn't it?

I've been on it for 6 years now, and I've found that some of the verve has

come back, but nothing like before. I used to be what I thought of as

vibrant. That's definitely gone. LOL.

Your subject line caught my attention, because if you listen to 'Lithium' by

Nirvana -- it's a pretty good portrait of BP, isn't it?

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I was dx'd after I had my baby, too.

My pre-dx history sounds a lot like yours -- from 18-26 years old I lived at

21 different addresses. My friends kept track. :-P

Dropped out of 4 college programs. Enrolled in, but did not attend, 3

others. (enrolled during obvious manic phases)

I know what you mean about lithium taking away your creativity. I mourned

that loss for a long time. Sometimes it seems a high price to pay to be

'normal', doesn't it?

I've been on it for 6 years now, and I've found that some of the verve has

come back, but nothing like before. I used to be what I thought of as

vibrant. That's definitely gone. LOL.

Your subject line caught my attention, because if you listen to 'Lithium' by

Nirvana -- it's a pretty good portrait of BP, isn't it?

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> i'm right with you girl, really i am. i don't think you're

> very " aspie " either, i think it's just a matter of structure.

Oh no, I am. Trust me. My mom and I have spent a loong time talking about

my childhood and my entire history. I fit the profile all the way back to

toddlerhood. And seeing , she is always struck by how many of the

challenges I face are the same challenges she faced with me.

Don't judge me by my personality in writing -- I am very 'together' in

writing. That's always been my gift.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> i'm right with you girl, really i am. i don't think you're

> very " aspie " either, i think it's just a matter of structure.

Oh no, I am. Trust me. My mom and I have spent a loong time talking about

my childhood and my entire history. I fit the profile all the way back to

toddlerhood. And seeing , she is always struck by how many of the

challenges I face are the same challenges she faced with me.

Don't judge me by my personality in writing -- I am very 'together' in

writing. That's always been my gift.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> That is so amazing Jacquie, it really is. Makes me wonder about me.

> I'm very much a " everything has to be the same " type of person, but

> I'm also the class clown. Mrs. Personality.........or is it the

> waitress face?

Well, waitress face is something you conciously put on. I don't think

that's the case with you!

And you'd really have to look back into your childhood to know the answer.

As an infant, I cried constantly and would not sleep. My mom had to

medicate me to sleep for two years. I was hyperlexic. I talked early and

precociously, using multi-syllabic words at two years old -- " the little

professor " Aspergers describes. I had no concept of danger and I was a

climber. My social 'coup' in kindergarten was to grab another girl by the

hair and tell her, " I'm Jacquie, and you are going to be my friend. "

Because of my extreme intelligence, they tried to skip me up a grade -- and

I kicked the new students and bit the new teacher in the leg. My mom says

the teacher described me as 'possessed'. They put me back in my classroom,

and I was fine.

Just a taste,

Jacquie