Re: Transplant Envy...and I am not proud of it

[Guest guest]

-----Original

Message-----

I was so ashamed …..She is moving on with her life and I am stuck in the

'''wait for the call'' mode.

,

You are far from alone….everyone

that is listed wishes they would get the call, it’s nothing to be ashamed

about – it’s human! And

you’re right, it’s because they are moving – up, down, in or

out they are moving – being listed makes you feel so stagnated, your whole

life and every aspect of it is on hold.

Every woman looks at

her neighbor with envy, you know the one – she had her baby and came home

from the hospital in her old size 8 pants.

Yeah there is “some envy”, but it’s not real, you

wouldn’t trade your baby and your own experience for the world (size 8

pants or not).

Look at waiting like

you did when you were hunting. Yeah

somebody else might have gotten the first deer and you’re still sitting

in the woods, but waiting for just the right shot and that right perfect deer

is what it’s all about. It’s

all about the hunt, not who fired the first shot.

I wouldn’t be

too concerned about her post transplant either. Hep C is nothing like PSC, and comparing

the two is fruitless. She may have

gotten another Hep C liver, you certainly won’t have that problem. She might breeze through her recovery,

but she will have her Hep C return.

You might take longer to recover, but you only have a slight chance PSC

will come back. If she has problems,

it doesn’t mean you will. Besides,

she’ll be out of work for quite some time to come. By the time she comes back, you’ll

be out on sick leave, you probably won’t see each other for many months. Hang in there, your turn is coming.

Barb in Texas - Together in the Fight, Whatever it Takes!

Son Ken (32) UC 91 - PSC 99 Listed 7/21 @ Baylor Dallas

[Guest guest]

-----Original

Message-----

I was so ashamed …..She is moving on with her life and I am stuck in the

'''wait for the call'' mode.

,

You are far from alone….everyone

that is listed wishes they would get the call, it’s nothing to be ashamed

about – it’s human! And

you’re right, it’s because they are moving – up, down, in or

out they are moving – being listed makes you feel so stagnated, your whole

life and every aspect of it is on hold.

Every woman looks at

her neighbor with envy, you know the one – she had her baby and came home

from the hospital in her old size 8 pants.

Yeah there is “some envy”, but it’s not real, you

wouldn’t trade your baby and your own experience for the world (size 8

pants or not).

Look at waiting like

you did when you were hunting. Yeah

somebody else might have gotten the first deer and you’re still sitting

in the woods, but waiting for just the right shot and that right perfect deer

is what it’s all about. It’s

all about the hunt, not who fired the first shot.

I wouldn’t be

too concerned about her post transplant either. Hep C is nothing like PSC, and comparing

the two is fruitless. She may have

gotten another Hep C liver, you certainly won’t have that problem. She might breeze through her recovery,

but she will have her Hep C return.

You might take longer to recover, but you only have a slight chance PSC

will come back. If she has problems,

it doesn’t mean you will. Besides,

she’ll be out of work for quite some time to come. By the time she comes back, you’ll

be out on sick leave, you probably won’t see each other for many months. Hang in there, your turn is coming.

Barb in Texas - Together in the Fight, Whatever it Takes!

Son Ken (32) UC 91 - PSC 99 Listed 7/21 @ Baylor Dallas

[Guest guest]

-----Original

Message-----

I was so ashamed …..She is moving on with her life and I am stuck in the

'''wait for the call'' mode.

,

You are far from alone….everyone

that is listed wishes they would get the call, it’s nothing to be ashamed

about – it’s human! And

you’re right, it’s because they are moving – up, down, in or

out they are moving – being listed makes you feel so stagnated, your whole

life and every aspect of it is on hold.

Every woman looks at

her neighbor with envy, you know the one – she had her baby and came home

from the hospital in her old size 8 pants.

Yeah there is “some envy”, but it’s not real, you

wouldn’t trade your baby and your own experience for the world (size 8

pants or not).

Look at waiting like

you did when you were hunting. Yeah

somebody else might have gotten the first deer and you’re still sitting

in the woods, but waiting for just the right shot and that right perfect deer

is what it’s all about. It’s

all about the hunt, not who fired the first shot.

I wouldn’t be

too concerned about her post transplant either. Hep C is nothing like PSC, and comparing

the two is fruitless. She may have

gotten another Hep C liver, you certainly won’t have that problem. She might breeze through her recovery,

but she will have her Hep C return.

You might take longer to recover, but you only have a slight chance PSC

will come back. If she has problems,

it doesn’t mean you will. Besides,

she’ll be out of work for quite some time to come. By the time she comes back, you’ll

be out on sick leave, you probably won’t see each other for many months. Hang in there, your turn is coming.

Barb in Texas - Together in the Fight, Whatever it Takes!

Son Ken (32) UC 91 - PSC 99 Listed 7/21 @ Baylor Dallas

[Guest guest]

Is that you? Michigan Hunter ? This is from Minnesota, or

Herman or whatever nickname I may have gone by on this site in the

past. I don't check here much anymore and was wondering how you were

doing. Doesn't sound like you're having a good go at it right now.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it hasn't kept you away from any

wildlife pursuits. I think I remember you talking about the " pah-

tridge " , or as us Minnesotans just refer to them as grouse. I managed

a first this year. I went up north for the duck opener and did a

little grouse walking too and managed to get 2 grouse in one weekend.

Never even shot more than one in a season before this year. I would

like to hear from you some more as I've been battling some demons

lately and need to speak to someone who truly understands how this

is. Please e-mail me, ericman375@...

Bye for now.

- Larson

>

>

> Where I work I have been very open and honest about my

> disease and the need for transplant. Management cuts

> me alot of slack.

>

> Another lady there came to me and told me she needed a

> liver transplant too. She had hepatitis C, but didn't

> have any symptoms that affected her life. She claims

> no fatigue, jaundice, pain, discomfort, nothing but

> labs out of whack.

>

> Me....I suffer, Jaundice, itching, itching, fatigue

> more itching and unretractable suicidal itching.

>

> She got listed 2 weeks ago at U of M. We both

> wondered about the other and which liver blood type we

> had. She was B and I am O.

>

> this past Tuesday at work, she said she got impatient

> with not getting the call and called the U of M and

> asked what the hold up is.

>

> That evening she got her call. When I found out, I

> was so ashamed of myself. I should have been elated

> for her...and don't get me wrong, I was happy she got

> her transplant.....but, that old GREEN ENVY crept up

> on me and I started crying. She is moving on with her

> life and I am stuck in the '''wait for the call'''

> mode.

>

> People knew I was visibly shaken about her news.

>

> I worry because although I post here and have been

> part of this group....I have never seen anybody else

> that needed a liver. I am forced now to deal with

> whatever she goes through. If she has set backs or

> problems I can't just ignore the post....it is there

> right in front of me....and that scares me. But that

> isn't all that scares me.

>

> She worked until the day of her transplant.

>

> Baudoux-Northrup

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

-

Don't be hard on yourself. You have a RIGHT to feel this way. The

organ allocation system IS unfair and awful. Hang in there and don't

beat yourself up over this one. Your feelings are natural and human.

Hang in there - your turn is comin'! Also, remember, just because she

has complications, you won't necessarily have them - or they'll be

different. If there's anything I've seen in the past year plus on the

tx floor, EVERY case is UNIQUE.

Love,

Deb in VA

PSC 1998, UC 1999, Listed Ltx 2001, LDLTX 5/19/2005, plenty of

complications post-tx that you can skip reading at

www.caringbridge.org/va/deniseb

[Guest guest]

-

Don't be hard on yourself. You have a RIGHT to feel this way. The

organ allocation system IS unfair and awful. Hang in there and don't

beat yourself up over this one. Your feelings are natural and human.

Hang in there - your turn is comin'! Also, remember, just because she

has complications, you won't necessarily have them - or they'll be

different. If there's anything I've seen in the past year plus on the

tx floor, EVERY case is UNIQUE.

Love,

Deb in VA

PSC 1998, UC 1999, Listed Ltx 2001, LDLTX 5/19/2005, plenty of

complications post-tx that you can skip reading at

www.caringbridge.org/va/deniseb

[Guest guest]

Hi , it's me, although I can't bowhunt this year

because of some of my meds making light-headed. I am

still going rifle hunting if I don't get the

transplant call.

I was listed 3 months ago. A lady I work with got

listed 2 weeks ago and got her call last week. I know

there are other factors involved, but it still stinks

to be 'waiting'.

I have unrelenting itching and am taking

Questran,Hydroxyzine,Zofran,Benadryl and Naltrexone

for it without it taking it away.

Baudoux-Northrup

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi , it's me, although I can't bowhunt this year

because of some of my meds making light-headed. I am

still going rifle hunting if I don't get the

transplant call.

I was listed 3 months ago. A lady I work with got

listed 2 weeks ago and got her call last week. I know

there are other factors involved, but it still stinks

to be 'waiting'.

I have unrelenting itching and am taking

Questran,Hydroxyzine,Zofran,Benadryl and Naltrexone

for it without it taking it away.

Baudoux-Northrup

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

cindy,

barb said it perfectly! we all suffer a little envy, but your day will come just as i know chucks day will come. keep your chin up and pray for your co-worker just as she will pray for you when you time comes...............sally

[Guest guest]

Rifampin for the itching, honey. Tell your doctor. We did hydroxizine and benadryl with for a number of months with no luck (along with various lotions). I kept on his docs for about 3 months about trying Rifampin, including bringing them studies and articles that had been posted here. They finally agreed to put him on it and I think he's had break-through itching twice, each time when his went higher and it was ERCP time. Otherwise, nothing. And he was itching to the point of crying and rubbing his feet on the floor until he had blisters on them. Could hardly eat sometimes. It was horrible watching my baby feel like that and not be able to help him. And I can understand your frustration. I was going mad waiting for the 6 months to be up (from his lung tx) so could be listed for his liver. Then come to find out the beginning of September he'd

been listed August 2, almost a month earlier than expected. But then he developed that pneumatosis a month ago, which moved him to inactive. Now that's better, so I'm hoping they've reactivated him. GRRRRRR is all I have to say. Ami Baudoux wrote: Hi , it's me, although I can't bowhunt this yearbecause of some of my meds making light-headed. I amstill going rifle hunting if I don't get

thetransplant call.I was listed 3 months ago. A lady I work with gotlisted 2 weeks ago and got her call last week. I knowthere are other factors involved, but it still stinksto be 'waiting'.I have unrelenting itching and am takingQuestran,Hydroxyzine,Zofran,Benadryl and Naltrexonefor it without it taking it away. Baudoux-Northrup__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks Barb, sometimes I just need that boot in the

rear.

She is doing fine and is home now.

Ginger Lee is doing so great. She helped me make

cookies last night. She puts her front paws on the

step stool and streches her neck to try and see on the

counter, and I talk to her like I am teaching her how

to bake, and she lifts her paw up slightly and cocks

her head like she is comprehending my every word.

Mike just laughed and laughed because she definitely

appears to understand everything I am saying. She my

little buddy.

Baudoux-Northrup

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