Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 is only 3 & still largely non-verbal, so I don't know how much of what I'm going to say will relate to your situation. But I'm going to open my big mouth anyway. has a VERY hard time dealing with people coming into our apartment. There is a STRANGER here in HIS SPACE -- his safe place -- his home. He has no idea why they are there or what they're going to do. He is over-sensitive to smells and people often are wearing perfume or cologne or strongly scented whatever, or sometimes maintenance people could use a shower (which, given the physicality of their jobs, is perfectly understandable!) and this is physically difficult for him to cope with. He has had some tremendous tantrums and on a few occasions actually curled up and gone into a deep sleep to escape the situation. We have learned to provide him with an place he can go to escape the new person, and we ask the person to respect his space when possible. For example when we had a new speech therapist come out to work with him, he went and hid in the bedroom, and I went back and did some calming OT activities with him while she sat on the couch. It took 6 visits before he would approach her, and even then she lured him out with candy! (He has since come to enjoy their sessions & has made a lot of progress with her. So based on MY experience I would interpret Ethan's behavior as an inability to cope with having a stranger in his home, for whatever reason (autism is plenty reason!), and I certainly WOULD have removed him from the situation. I hope to be able to teach that when he feels he cannot control himself and behave properly that he should take himself to a more supportive environment ('quiet place' 'time out' whatever you want to call it) until he's feeling more secure. But really, who gives a doughnut hole what the plumber thinks? Will he ever have contact with Ethan again? Will he be a significant part of your life? He has NO IDEA what you're going through. If Ethan had diabetes and the plumber came in and said, " Hey, you ought to give that kid another 18 units of insulin, that'd take care of the problem! " would you even think about doing it, or would you rely on your own knowledge of the disease and your doctor's reccomendations on medication and dosage? People should keep quiet about things they know nothing about. So I'll shut up now. -Sara. > Why is it whenever someone comes over Ethan has to practically > blare " Look how autistic and obnoxious I can be!! " ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 is only 3 & still largely non-verbal, so I don't know how much of what I'm going to say will relate to your situation. But I'm going to open my big mouth anyway. has a VERY hard time dealing with people coming into our apartment. There is a STRANGER here in HIS SPACE -- his safe place -- his home. He has no idea why they are there or what they're going to do. He is over-sensitive to smells and people often are wearing perfume or cologne or strongly scented whatever, or sometimes maintenance people could use a shower (which, given the physicality of their jobs, is perfectly understandable!) and this is physically difficult for him to cope with. He has had some tremendous tantrums and on a few occasions actually curled up and gone into a deep sleep to escape the situation. We have learned to provide him with an place he can go to escape the new person, and we ask the person to respect his space when possible. For example when we had a new speech therapist come out to work with him, he went and hid in the bedroom, and I went back and did some calming OT activities with him while she sat on the couch. It took 6 visits before he would approach her, and even then she lured him out with candy! (He has since come to enjoy their sessions & has made a lot of progress with her. So based on MY experience I would interpret Ethan's behavior as an inability to cope with having a stranger in his home, for whatever reason (autism is plenty reason!), and I certainly WOULD have removed him from the situation. I hope to be able to teach that when he feels he cannot control himself and behave properly that he should take himself to a more supportive environment ('quiet place' 'time out' whatever you want to call it) until he's feeling more secure. But really, who gives a doughnut hole what the plumber thinks? Will he ever have contact with Ethan again? Will he be a significant part of your life? He has NO IDEA what you're going through. If Ethan had diabetes and the plumber came in and said, " Hey, you ought to give that kid another 18 units of insulin, that'd take care of the problem! " would you even think about doing it, or would you rely on your own knowledge of the disease and your doctor's reccomendations on medication and dosage? People should keep quiet about things they know nothing about. So I'll shut up now. -Sara. > Why is it whenever someone comes over Ethan has to practically > blare " Look how autistic and obnoxious I can be!! " ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 12, 2003 Report Share Posted January 12, 2003 is only 3 & still largely non-verbal, so I don't know how much of what I'm going to say will relate to your situation. But I'm going to open my big mouth anyway. has a VERY hard time dealing with people coming into our apartment. There is a STRANGER here in HIS SPACE -- his safe place -- his home. He has no idea why they are there or what they're going to do. He is over-sensitive to smells and people often are wearing perfume or cologne or strongly scented whatever, or sometimes maintenance people could use a shower (which, given the physicality of their jobs, is perfectly understandable!) and this is physically difficult for him to cope with. He has had some tremendous tantrums and on a few occasions actually curled up and gone into a deep sleep to escape the situation. We have learned to provide him with an place he can go to escape the new person, and we ask the person to respect his space when possible. For example when we had a new speech therapist come out to work with him, he went and hid in the bedroom, and I went back and did some calming OT activities with him while she sat on the couch. It took 6 visits before he would approach her, and even then she lured him out with candy! (He has since come to enjoy their sessions & has made a lot of progress with her. So based on MY experience I would interpret Ethan's behavior as an inability to cope with having a stranger in his home, for whatever reason (autism is plenty reason!), and I certainly WOULD have removed him from the situation. I hope to be able to teach that when he feels he cannot control himself and behave properly that he should take himself to a more supportive environment ('quiet place' 'time out' whatever you want to call it) until he's feeling more secure. But really, who gives a doughnut hole what the plumber thinks? Will he ever have contact with Ethan again? Will he be a significant part of your life? He has NO IDEA what you're going through. If Ethan had diabetes and the plumber came in and said, " Hey, you ought to give that kid another 18 units of insulin, that'd take care of the problem! " would you even think about doing it, or would you rely on your own knowledge of the disease and your doctor's reccomendations on medication and dosage? People should keep quiet about things they know nothing about. So I'll shut up now. -Sara. > Why is it whenever someone comes over Ethan has to practically > blare " Look how autistic and obnoxious I can be!! " ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2003 Report Share Posted January 13, 2003 <snip> > For example when we had a new speech therapist come out to work with him, he > went and hid in the bedroom, and I went back and did some calming OT > activities with him while she sat on the couch. It took 6 visits before he > would approach her, and even then she lured him out with candy! (He has > since come to enjoy their sessions & has made a lot of progress with her. This happened at Ethan's school when the kindergarteners got 3rd grade Reading Buddies and Ethan wouldn't even let his Buddy approach him. Ethan's teacher asked the Buddy to come out to recess with Ethan a few times and pretty soon they were best Buds. > So based on MY experience I would interpret Ethan's behavior as an inability > to cope with having a stranger in his home, for whatever reason (autism is > plenty reason!), and I certainly WOULD have removed him from the situation. I will definitely do this next time, take the kids to his room to play. I felt uncomfortable mentioning the autism in front of my Mother In Law (we live with her) because she doesn't quite believe it and I didn't want to deal with her judgment later. That and I try to be around when things are going on because it feels like with my MIL here that she and my husband are the married, working couple and I'm the nanny that never knows what's going on in the house. It's aggravating. MIL always gets the long drawn out explanations and by the time my turn gets around I get the very condensed version that I have to pry out of hubby with tons of questions. I never know what's going on. Sorry, turned into a vent there. > I hope to be able to teach that when he feels he cannot control > himself and behave properly that he should take himself to a more supportive > environment ('quiet place' 'time out' whatever you want to call it) until > he's feeling more secure. I have no idea how to even begin something like this. With Ethan I could take him to his room and he'd feel compelled, drawn back in where the company is. I think it's kind of like the spider desensitization thing, he wants to be exposed to it but doesn't know what to do with himself once he's there. > > But really, who gives a doughnut hole what the plumber thinks? Will he ever > have contact with Ethan again? Will he be a significant part of your life? > He has NO IDEA what you're going through. <snip> Thank you Sara, you're right. I should pick more important things to be worried about. The plumber probably thought Ethan had Tourettes more than anything else, with Ethan coming up with every possible combination of " butt " and " pee pee " a six year old can come up with. What a nerd! The more I express how inappropriate that is the more he delights in doing it. I've tried ignoring it but he takes that as it doesn't bother me and does it anyway. I guess this will all get easier with more experience.. a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2003 Report Share Posted January 13, 2003 > I hate that I hate that I hate that! I want to say " He's autistic " > but my MIL and hubby are standing around and I don't want to make it > sound like an excuse. It's not an excuse, babe - it's the REASON. Nothing wrong with saying so. JMHO, Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2003 Report Share Posted January 13, 2003 > I hate that I hate that I hate that! I want to say " He's autistic " > but my MIL and hubby are standing around and I don't want to make it > sound like an excuse. It's not an excuse, babe - it's the REASON. Nothing wrong with saying so. JMHO, Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2003 Report Share Posted January 13, 2003 > I hate that I hate that I hate that! I want to say " He's autistic " > but my MIL and hubby are standing around and I don't want to make it > sound like an excuse. It's not an excuse, babe - it's the REASON. Nothing wrong with saying so. JMHO, Jacquie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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