Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Hi , Welcome to the group. I didn't get anything other than the request to join. Yahoo has a way at times of being quite mean! I am sorry to hear about your wife. Sometimes we do go into denial. Its a way of coping for the time being. Just be there for her, listen to her, cry with her, help her around the house as much as possible and above all tell her how much you love you. I will keep you both in my prayers. If you click on the link below and go about half way down there is a letter my husband wrote after my surgery. Hugs nne Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlalso check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:http://www.cancerclub.com Mastectomy on Monday I haven't seen my previous correspondence here, so I assume they only appeared for the moderators. My wife had a mammogram last week and I went with her yesterday to see a top-notch surgeon in Dallas. He recommends a right-side mastectomy right away because the mass is quite widespread. I worked with him on the United Way campaign a few years back, so I trust and respect his judgment. We are scheduled for Monday morning, so I've spent most of today rearranging my caseload so I can be with her all next week. I spent the weekend researching breast cancer and printing out some things for Sandy, but she seems to be in denial and doesn't want to deal with any of it. Is this an odd reaction? How do I get her to want to fight? Sincerely, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Denial is a common and natural response. You didn't mention having a biopsy. Normally that is done before a mastectomy. SharonBpknightatty <no_reply > wrote: I haven't seen my previous correspondence here, so I assume they only appeared for the moderators. My wife had a mammogram last week and I went with her yesterday to see a top-notch surgeon in Dallas. He recommends a right-side mastectomy right away because the mass is quite widespread. I worked with him on the United Way campaign a few years back, so I trust and respect his judgment. We are scheduled for Monday morning, so I've spent most of today rearranging my caseload so I can be with her all next week. I spent the weekend researching breast cancer and printing out some things for Sandy, but she seems to be in denial and doesn't want to deal with any of it. Is this an odd reaction? How do I get her to want to fight? Sincerely, Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Hi , Just read your post and I'm curious....has your wife exhibited any emotional response to her diagnosis? You said she's in denial...but has she cried, been angry, sad, etc.? If not, I think it would really be a good idea for her to talk to someone (perhaps a social worker at the hospital) prior to her surgery. Emotionally, a mastectomy is a pretty big deal - I'd be worried if her denial of her bc is as complete as you say. Physically, the surgery is easy - there's little pain and recuperative time is quick (of course, I am speaking from my experience, only). What's her life like? Is she dealing with kids? A career? How old is she? If she'd feel more comfortable talking to a woman who's been through a bilateral, I'd be glad to talk to her. If she'd like my phone number, she can write me at: maryann_weiss@.... What else is scheduled after the surgery? Chemo, rads? This is a long journey. Perhaps she's trying to be strong for you? As for your question of how can you get her to fight...first she has to accept. And she may need help from a professional or other survivors to do that. Best wishes to both of you, Ann Chemo Hats: www.cjhats.com Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Here is the message I sent in addition to my initial membership request. That was quick, thank you. I was afraid we'd have to wait until next week. My wife had a mammogram this morning and called me, in hysterics, to pick her up. We have made an appointment for Tuesday with a surgeon to talk about options. The radiologist says it's most probably breast cancer. Sandy and I will look around in your website for answers to our many questions. We are very frightened, as my mother died of breast cancer in 1992. Sincerely, breastcancer2 Moderator <breastcancer2-owner > wrote: Hello, Thank you for your interest in the group. Please tell us a little about yourself and why you would like to join our group. Your request will be taken care of as soon as I receive the notice. nne cofounder > > Hi , > Welcome to the group. I didn't get anything other than the request to join. Yahoo has a way at times of being quite mean! > I am sorry to hear about your wife. Sometimes we do go into denial. Its a way of coping for the time being. Just be there for her, listen to her, cry with her, help her around the house as much as possible and above all tell her how much you love you. I will keep you both in my prayers. > If you click on the link below and go about half way down there is a letter my husband wrote after my surgery. > Hugs > nne > Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life > http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html > > Check out my breast cancer ornaments at: > http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html > also check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at: > http://www.cancerclub.com > Mastectomy on Monday > > > I haven't seen my previous correspondence here, so I assume they only > appeared for the moderators. My wife had a mammogram last week and I > went with her yesterday to see a top-notch surgeon in Dallas. He > recommends a right-side mastectomy right away because the mass is quite > widespread. I worked with him on the United Way campaign a few years > back, so I trust and respect his judgment. We are scheduled for Monday > morning, so I've spent most of today rearranging my caseload so I can > be with her all next week. I spent the weekend researching breast > cancer and printing out some things for Sandy, but she seems to be in > denial and doesn't want to deal with any of it. Is this an odd > reaction? How do I get her to want to fight? Sincerely, > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 They took a sample with a needle and said it is definately malignant and may have spread beyond the breast. PK > I haven't seen my previous correspondence here, so I assume they only > appeared for the moderators. My wife had a mammogram last week and I > went with her yesterday to see a top-notch surgeon in Dallas. He > recommends a right-side mastectomy right away because the mass is quite > widespread. I worked with him on the United Way campaign a few years > back, so I trust and respect his judgment. We are scheduled for Monday > morning, so I've spent most of today rearranging my caseload so I can > be with her all next week. I spent the weekend researching breast > cancer and printing out some things for Sandy, but she seems to be in > denial and doesn't want to deal with any of it. Is this an odd > reaction? How do I get her to want to fight? Sincerely, > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 She cried the day of the mammogram, but has acted like a zombie most of the time since then. She's 41, no children, and is an asst. state attorney We've been married almost 5 years. We'll find out about chemotherapy and/or radiation after the surgery. PK > > Hi , > > Just read your post and I'm curious....has your wife exhibited any emotional response to her diagnosis? You said she's in denial...but has she cried, been angry, sad, etc.? If not, I think it would really be a good idea for her to talk to someone (perhaps a social worker at the hospital) prior to her surgery. Emotionally, a mastectomy is a pretty big deal - I'd be worried if her denial of her bc is as complete as you say. Physically, the surgery is easy - there's little pain and recuperative time is quick (of course, I am speaking from my experience, only). > > What's her life like? Is she dealing with kids? A career? How old is she? If she'd feel more comfortable talking to a woman who's been through a bilateral, I'd be glad to talk to her. If she'd like my phone number, she can write me at: maryann_weiss@... > > What else is scheduled after the surgery? Chemo, rads? This is a long journey. Perhaps she's trying to be strong for you? As for your question of how can you get her to fight...first she has to accept. And she may need help from a professional or other survivors to do that. > > Best wishes to both of you, > > Ann > Chemo Hats: www.cjhats.com > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Yahoo! Mail > Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Hi , I remember getting this one and did respond to you. Its probably still out there in cyberspace somewhere. We have had a lot of problems with our internet service and not getting emails and others not getting ours. However we live out in the country and this is the ONLY one that offers service out here, so far anyway. I will keep you both in my prayers. Hugs nne Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlalso check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:http://www.cancerclub.com Mastectomy on Monday> > > I haven't seen my previous correspondence here, so I assume they only > appeared for the moderators. My wife had a mammogram last week and I > went with her yesterday to see a top-notch surgeon in Dallas. He > recommends a right-side mastectomy right away because the mass is quite > widespread. I worked with him on the United Way campaign a few years > back, so I trust and respect his judgment. We are scheduled for Monday > morning, so I've spent most of today rearranging my caseload so I can > be with her all next week. I spent the weekend researching breast > cancer and printing out some things for Sandy, but she seems to be in > denial and doesn't want to deal with any of it. Is this an odd > reaction? How do I get her to want to fight? Sincerely, > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 At her age did the mention reconstruction? SharonBpknightatty <no_reply > wrote: She cried the day of the mammogram, but has acted like a zombie most of the time since then. She's 41, no children, and is an asst. state attorney We've been married almost 5 years. We'll find out about chemotherapy and/or radiation after the surgery. PK>> Hi ,> > Just read your post and I'm curious....has your wife exhibited any emotional response to her diagnosis? You said she's in denial...but has she cried, been angry, sad, etc.? If not, I think it would really be a good idea for her to talk to someone (perhaps a social worker at the hospital) prior to her surgery. Emotionally, a mastectomy is a pretty big deal - I'd be worried if her denial of her bc is as complete as you say. Physically, the surgery is easy - there's little pain and recuperative time is quick (of course, I am speaking from my experience, only).> > What's her life like? Is she dealing with kids? A career? How old is she? If she'd feel more comfortable talking to a woman who's been through a bilateral, I'd be glad to talk to her. If she'd like my phone number, she can write me at: maryann_weiss@...> > What else is scheduled after the surgery? Chemo, rads? This is a long journey. Perhaps she's trying to be strong for you? As for your question of how can you get her to fight...first she has to accept. And she may need help from a professional or other survivors to do that.> > Best wishes to both of you,> > Ann> Chemo Hats: www.cjhats.com> > > > > > ---------------------------------> Yahoo! Mail> Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.> Yahoo! Mail Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 My surgeon was angry that the OB/GYN told me I had BC with just a needle biopsy....did they not do a core biopsy also? Jackie -- Re: Mastectomy on Monday She cried the day of the mammogram, but has acted like a zombie most of the time since then. She's 41, no children, and is an asst. state attorney We've been married almost 5 years. We'll find out about chemotherapy and/or radiation after the surgery. PK>> Hi ,> > Just read your post and I'm curious....has your wife exhibited any emotional response to her diagnosis? You said she's in denial...but has she cried, been angry, sad, etc.? If not, I think it would really be a good idea for her to talk to someone (perhaps a social worker at the hospital) prior to her surgery. Emotionally, a mastectomy is a pretty big deal - I'd be worried if her denial of her bc is as complete as you say. Physically, the surgery is easy - there's little pain and recuperative time is quick (of course, I am speaking from my experience, only).> > What's her life like? Is she dealing with kids? A career? How old is she? If she'd feel more comfortable talking to a woman who's been through a bilateral, I'd be glad to talk to her. If she'd like my phone number, she can write me at: maryann_weiss@...> > What else is scheduled after the surgery? Chemo, rads? This is a long journey. Perhaps she's trying to be strong for you? As for your question of how can you get her to fight...first she has to accept. And she may need help from a professional or other survivors to do that.> > Best wishes to both of you,> > Ann> Chemo Hats: www.cjhats.com> > > > > > ---------------------------------> Yahoo! Mail> Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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