Re: Sleep training

[Guest guest]

Last week saw me at the end of my tether with sleepless nights. Caitlin had

been in a pattern of waking 2-3 hourly at night since about 8 weeks old, and

I had not had a decent nights sleep for months. Have said before that I

rather like snuggling up in bed with a sleep suckly baby, but she's 6 months

now, and I've been increasingly feeling like I want to reclaim night time

for myself.

So, went along to clinic last week to ask for suggestions, and HV talked to

me about sleep training, and about getting tough and stopping night feeds.

Suggested I deny her any feeds between 11pm and 5.30am, and send Rob to see

to her if she wakes (ha). Said it would take 3-4 nights of misery before

Caitlin would get the message.

Didn't like the idea of this - too much like " breaking her spirit " - but

discussed it with Rob, and decided we would give it a try at the w/e.

Anyway, Caitlin must have been listening to our conversation, because for

the last two nights she's slept for 7 hours, woken, had a quick feed, then

slept for another 4. I was planning to ask this list if anyone has any

experience on sleep training, but hopefully it won't be necessary now!

Perhaps just the threat of sleep training is enough?

McVeigh

Newsletter Editor & Secretary, Leighton Buzzard & District

SAHM to (AKA Tiff Toff) DOB 19/9/97

& Caitlin (AKA Cake Tin), DOB 12/1/00

Photo Album:

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=697874 & a=5085964

[Guest guest]

,

Have you got access to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Ferber?

If not I can lend you it should you need it.

I found it a lifesaver - he goes into the theory behind his method in great

detail which reassured me. I used it when DS1 was 18 months old - he cried

for 3 1/2 hours the first night and I did most of that time too! However

within 3 days he was lying down in his cot happily at bed time and waving

goodnight before sleeping for 12 hours straight. This was a child who hadn't

slept for a stretch of more then 2 1/2 hours before. I started earlier with

each baby although he was the worst. I think DS4 was about 7 months. For me

the turning point was cutting out the night time feeds - I was quite happy

that they were feeding enough during the day and they all seemed completely

untraumatised the next morning. For me and them (I think) the benefits of

more sleep all round and happier bedtimes far outweighed some crying. Of

course they are all psychopaths now . . .

Carr

SAHM to four boys

Sunbury & Shepperton Branch

Trainee ANT & Mem Sec

[Guest guest]

,

Have you read 'Three in a Bed' by Deborah ? I only read it recently,

but was impressed. I actually felt it was about so much more that

co-sleeping and it is very well researched.

Kind of the antithesis to Toddler Taming. I wish I'd read it years ago now.

If you'd like to borrow my copy email me and I'll put it in the post.

Hannah, 26

Mum to Bethany 6, Lawrence 4 1/2, Verity 2 and Baby No.4 due Feb 2001

> Last week saw me at the end of my tether with sleepless nights. Caitlin

had

> been in a pattern of waking 2-3 hourly at night since about 8 weeks old,

and

> I had not had a decent nights sleep for months. Have said before that I

> rather like snuggling up in bed with a sleep suckly baby, but she's 6

months

> now, and I've been increasingly feeling like I want to reclaim night time

> for myself.

[Guest guest]

On Mon, 10 Jul 2000 21:27:24 +0100, " McVeigh "

wrote:

>Last week saw me at the end of my tether with sleepless nights. Caitlin had

>been in a pattern of waking 2-3 hourly at night since about 8 weeks old, and

>I had not had a decent nights sleep for months.

Heh, and you think you're alone in feeling like this ? It goes with

the territory, I'm afraid.

Dan is 8 m/o now, and he is just starting to sleep for longer

periods - up to 7 1/2 hours. We sometimes have the waking every

couple of hours nights, but those are the nights when he is teething

badly, has an upset tummy, or may have any number of other things

going on that we can't possibly know about, and needs comfort and

reassurance (and a nice feed) from mummy to settle down again.

Is Caitlin teething ?

>Have said before that I

>rather like snuggling up in bed with a sleep suckly baby, but she's 6 months

>now, and I've been increasingly feeling like I want to reclaim night time

>for myself.

Excuse me while I laugh. You won't have night time to yourself for

a looong time. ;-)

>So, went along to clinic last week to ask for suggestions, and HV talked to

>me about sleep training, and about getting tough and stopping night feeds.

I got the same talk from my HV, and barely managed to control myself

from having a go at her. Sleep training ( " controlled crying " ) is a

quick fix. As we know, quick fixes often fall apart in the long

term and there is usually a price to pay. Just MHO.

Apart from anything, stopping night feeds will affect your milk

supply. Your babe will stop night feeds when she's ready to.

>Perhaps just the threat of sleep training is enough?

Perhaps, but if she starts waking again, please reconsider " sleep

training " . It's bloody cruel.

There is a supposed alternative which I read about in an article

recently, running along similar lines but gentler and not involving

reducing the child to crying and separation anxieties. I can type

up the article if you would like me to.

Cheers,

--

Clare Lusher.

www.yum.org/clare

[Guest guest]

On Mon, 10 Jul 2000 22:15:14 +0100, " Carr "

wrote:

>Have you got access to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Ferber?

Oh god. :-(

--

Clare Lusher.

www.yum.org/clare

[Guest guest]

Clare (co-sleeper) wrote

> I agree that a nightly routine is the best way to help them realise

> that night time means bedtime. A bath is good, and story, etc.

OK I'm probably being really stupid here, but how do you put a baby to bed

when they co-sleep? Do you keep the baby up until you go to bed, put them

in your bed at their bedtime and join them later, both go to bed

early......?

I put DS4 in his cot next to my bed at about 9ish and get on with jobs and

do email until midnight or so before I go to bed. When DS4 wakes for a feed

he comes in with me and generally stays there for the rest of the night

feeding when he wants. Is this co-sleeping?

Lynda

SAHM to (7), (5), Fraser(2), Callum 15/5/00

Newsletter editor & general dogsbody, Mid-Northumberland branch

http://albums.photopoint.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=762789 & a=6674752

[Guest guest]

>Just for the record

This isn't what I was considering doing...

Actually it isn't what I did either! Most of the time the tears were angry

ones of a child thwarted. You know, the ones you get when they don't want to

brush their teeth sometimes, or hold your hand when you go to cross the

road. But as in those situations, I decided that I knew better what my

children *needed*, even if it might not be what they wanted. My children, my

way of doing things - not better or worse, just different.

Carr

SAHM to four boys

Sunbury & Shepperton Branch

Trainee ANT & Mem Sec

[Guest guest]

Hannah,

> Took me a few minutes to work out what you meant! How old is

Verity? 6

> months?

5...already! Don't know how that happened.

> <snip>She

> never really seems to get covered with our quilt much and as

co-sleeping

> helps keep the baby's temperature regulated I don't think it's

as much of a

> worry anyway as I said before.

Oh hooray, thanks for all this, I feel much better! I'm off to

bed now to turn her the right way round and feed her lying down

when she wakes up tonight!