~Norene~Re: Hi friends

[Guest guest]

Hi Sweetie,

I am so sorry to hear you are having it rough. I know though I have been

there many times. We go through being scared, depressed, ANGRY & lots of other

emotions. It's kinda like grieving over any loss, because we have truly lost

something, Life As We Know It! So we have to go through the grieving process and

if we are lucky we can come to terms with it and not give up. I know the pain

gets so overwhelming at times.. I have had times when I wanted to just pull out

a gun and end it all to get rid of the pain. But being a Minister I know this is

not an option. If I had done that the many times I wanted too I wouldn't have

been here to create this wonderful group for all of us. Back when I started it I

felt so alone, I started it in hopes that someone else with my problem would

come along that I could talk too. Sure enough Vicki and a couple others came in

the very first day. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to have over a

1,000 members. But I am so glad I found the strength to stick it out and share

it with others. I have been fighting the disease all of my life. I was DX'd at

16 back when they knew NOTHING about fibro it was just a name they stuck out

there when they didn't know what was wrong. Before that they called it Growing

Pains which we now know is just Juvenile Fibro. So yes I have had it since I was

very small. Shortly after birth I had the rickets and I am sure that is what

brought it on. I will soon be 50 and that is a long time to have this Monster.

Always know you can come here and pour your heart out and someone will be here

to listen. We may not always know what to say except we know where you are at

this moment but even that can be a source of comfort if you let it.

I have been going through many emotions myself today. And that is one reason

I am still up at almost 3 AM.. I have been doing so good since I came back to

Texas. I have went from being close to bed fast to having a life again. And the

last few days I have felt this flare coming on. This morning I woke up in pain

all over & cramping double with IBS. Even my sternum is so sore I can barely

stand my T-Shirt touching it. I have been upset all day. I was telling my Mother

tonight that I was so mad, that I did NOT want to get sick again. And as

Mother's in there infinate wisdom will do she told me to keep a positive outlook

and tell myself I am not going to let it control me again. Not to just give up

and go to bed just to back off of all I am doing and take it easy for a couple

days and let it pass. To find something to keep my mind off of it if I can. But

to not let it get a hard grip on me again. And you know Hun she was right and I

know these things but in dealing with fibro and knowing if I let it that it will

pull me down so fast that I don't even want to get back up. But even I have to

have my Mother lecture me every now and then. She is 71 and has fibro as well.

She is a member here just not a real active one! I guess all I can really say is

about what she told me Hun. Grieve as you need too but try to find a passion and

look toward that. Try not to let this Monster beat you into the ground.

Weather can play a HUGE roll in how we feel. I know I was miserable in

Wisconsin. I got progresivly worse the 10 years I lived there. The doctors there

told me in March to get my affairs in order that I didn't have long to live. I

was in a wheel chair, close to bed fast and on 24 hr a day oxygen. I told them

well I am going home to my Family and kids then. So in May I came back to Texas.

I got better by the day. It wasn't long I was up and walking and going like

crazy. But it was dry and hot here. I had a couple little tiny flares but for

the most part I was fine. Then this last week it has been wet and MUCH cooler.

It's a nice break from the heat but it is playing havoc with my Fibro. So I know

a lot of it has to be climate. I know I have to slow down a bit and let my body

adjust. But I won't give up again. I have to much to keep me going. We need to

feel needed or I do. That plays another big part in it. This is the first year

of my life since I was 14 that I didn't have kids to raise. I think that was

another thing that got to me so bad. But when I came back to Texas I had my

grown kids that one will never get totally grown although today will be his 10th

wedding anniversary LOL. He depends on me all the time and so do his 5 kids.

It's always MAMA or GRANNY so I have purpose again. They aren't under my roof

but they are close by. And it's so nice to be close and have him run by during

the day just to give me a kiss and tell me he loves me. It's not always followed

by Can I Borrow or Can You???? LOL And that is nice. So Sweetie look at your

life, see what is important to you and grasp it! Any little ray of light to help

pull you out of the slump. Yes I am telling you this but I am reminding myself

at the same time LOL! SORRY I got so long winded but when we need someone to be

there by golly we need em! I saw I wasn't the only one up and hurting tonight

and I grabbed a hold of that. I hope I have said something in here that will

help you or someone out there. And when it comes to your Subject line Hun we

aren't just friends we are FAMILY! You will be in my thoughts and Prayers Hun.

God Bless!

Rev /Wolf

FSG Owner & Founder