Re: Dawn

[Guest guest]

Wow Dawn-I'm so in awe of your honesty and you're willingness to share such

personal stuff in the hopes that it might help others. You sound very stable

to me. Try not to feel guilty about not working until you're feeling 100%.

I think mental illness is controlled, not cured, and you are doing the best

that you can. Good luck, hon!

Steph

[Guest guest]

Hey it was Steph that made that comment, not Lori. Give me credit where

credit is due-Just kidding!

Steph (who is not sounding too stable herself today)

[Guest guest]

Ooops, I just got your sorry after sending you a scathing response-LOL! You

are forgiven.

Steph

[Guest guest]

Dawn-I meant dye your hair brown. Guess I'll go to bed!

Steph

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lori,

Funny you say " stable " ...a few other people thought I had my shit together

too on this list...makes me wonder if I'm really " me " sometimes ya know?

How are you?

Dawn

Re: Dawn

Wow Dawn-I'm so in awe of your honesty and you're willingness to share such

personal stuff in the hopes that it might help others. You sound very

stable

to me. Try not to feel guilty about not working until you're feeling 100%.

I think mental illness is controlled, not cured, and you are doing the best

that you can. Good luck, hon!

Steph

[Guest guest]

sorry...I meant Steph!

Dawn

Re: Dawn

Wow Dawn-I'm so in awe of your honesty and you're willingness to share such

personal stuff in the hopes that it might help others. You sound very

stable

to me. Try not to feel guilty about not working until you're feeling 100%.

I think mental illness is controlled, not cured, and you are doing the best

that you can. Good luck, hon!

Steph

[Guest guest]

Dawn,

There are tears in my eyes right now for 2 reasons. One is that someone

as nice as you would have to be going through what you are and the

second is that I know exactly how it is.

When I was 18 I tried to take my own life. Had a lot of issues going on

including a very abusive relationship.

I still get very depressed at times and am in counselling. My

counsellor doesn't believe that I need meds at the moment. Just being

able to go and talk and vent seems to help. I don't know if it always

will. With the problems that I am having with my son I see myself

getting out of control at times.

A lot of get gets directed at him. I don't like when I am losing

control of myself because I can't help him keep control over himself.

There are times that I feel like such a failure as a mom. I don't know

how to help him any more.

Lately the thoughts that maybe he would be better off without me have

started. When I start to think that way I think of all that I couldn't

do or see not being here and they go away. I also takes long walks

while he is in school so that I am not home alone and also gives me time

to think.

I hope that you can get to where you can go back to work. We all must

realize that no matter what problems we are having that we are not

alone. Many people are going through the same thing.

Lea

[Guest guest]

Lea,

Thanks for your support.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time as well, both now, as well as your

past.

One thing to remember, is YOU are a loving mom, a wonderful person, and

listen to your body, which is the very first step in achieving many goals in

life. From what I've learned from you talking about your son, you are the

most loving mom a person could ask for. You are recognizing these issues in

his life now, and trying to get a hold of it while he's still young. That

is to me, and amazing person to have as a mom. If my mom were there prior

to my attempts, I may have been better off, however, I know she loves me,

but I didn't think that at the time when I was contemplating. One thing I

did learn from the hospital (first time around), is my family are very

supportive of me, but I don't tell them when something's bugging me until

it's too late. That's where you come in..YOU are recognizing your sons

issues, and handling them to the best of your ability. With you, and

counseling, hopefully, your son, as well as yourself will overcome one of

many life challenges.

Hang in there sweetie, and if you ever need to talk, feel free to mail me

privately.

Dawn

Re: Dawn

Dawn,

There are tears in my eyes right now for 2 reasons. One is that someone

as nice as you would have to be going through what you are and the

second is that I know exactly how it is.

When I was 18 I tried to take my own life. Had a lot of issues going on

including a very abusive relationship.

I still get very depressed at times and am in counselling. My

counsellor doesn't believe that I need meds at the moment. Just being

able to go and talk and vent seems to help. I don't know if it always

will. With the problems that I am having with my son I see myself

getting out of control at times.

A lot of get gets directed at him. I don't like when I am losing

control of myself because I can't help him keep control over himself.

There are times that I feel like such a failure as a mom. I don't know

how to help him any more.

Lately the thoughts that maybe he would be better off without me have

started. When I start to think that way I think of all that I couldn't

do or see not being here and they go away. I also takes long walks

while he is in school so that I am not home alone and also gives me time

to think.

I hope that you can get to where you can go back to work. We all must

realize that no matter what problems we are having that we are not

alone. Many people are going through the same thing.

Lea

[Guest guest]

smack!

Re: Dawn

Ooops, I just got your sorry after sending you a scathing response-LOL! You

are forgiven.

Steph

[Guest guest]

Whatever Blondie! G'nite

Re: Dawn

Dawn-I meant dye your hair brown. Guess I'll go to bed!

Steph

[Guest guest]

Lea,

Remember, nobody would be better off without you- especially your

son!!

-- In OSSG-NewEnglandegroups, " Dawn " <huggybuggy@v...> wrote:

> Lea,

>

> Thanks for your support.

>

> I'm sorry you're having such a hard time as well, both now, as well

as your

> past.

>

> One thing to remember, is YOU are a loving mom, a wonderful person,

and

> listen to your body, which is the very first step in achieving many

goals in

> life. From what I've learned from you talking about your son, you

are the

> most loving mom a person could ask for. You are recognizing these

issues in

> his life now, and trying to get a hold of it while he's still

young. That

> is to me, and amazing person to have as a mom. If my mom were

there prior

> to my attempts, I may have been better off, however, I know she

loves me,

> but I didn't think that at the time when I was contemplating. One

thing I

> did learn from the hospital (first time around), is my family are

very

> supportive of me, but I don't tell them when something's bugging me

until

> it's too late. That's where you come in..YOU are recognizing your

sons

> issues, and handling them to the best of your ability. With you,

and

> counseling, hopefully, your son, as well as yourself will overcome

one of

> many life challenges.

>

> Hang in there sweetie, and if you ever need to talk, feel free to

mail me

> privately.

>

> Dawn

>

> Re: Dawn

>

>

>

> Dawn,

>

> There are tears in my eyes right now for 2 reasons. One is that

someone

> as nice as you would have to be going through what you are and the

> second is that I know exactly how it is.

>

> When I was 18 I tried to take my own life. Had a lot of issues

going on

> including a very abusive relationship.

>

> I still get very depressed at times and am in counselling. My

> counsellor doesn't believe that I need meds at the moment. Just

being

> able to go and talk and vent seems to help. I don't know if it

always

> will. With the problems that I am having with my son I see myself

> getting out of control at times.

>

> A lot of get gets directed at him. I don't like when I am losing

> control of myself because I can't help him keep control over

himself.

> There are times that I feel like such a failure as a mom. I don't

know

> how to help him any more.

>

> Lately the thoughts that maybe he would be better off without me

have

> started. When I start to think that way I think of all that I

couldn't

> do or see not being here and they go away. I also takes long walks

> while he is in school so that I am not home alone and also gives me

time

> to think.

>

> I hope that you can get to where you can go back to work. We all

must

> realize that no matter what problems we are having that we are not

> alone. Many people are going through the same thing.

>

> Lea

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

diane h.

Way to go girl.... Congrads on the 13 pounds gone

forever..:)

*hugs

Pam

--- diane wrote:

> Dawn,

> I feel GREAT!!!!!!! I went to Dr. Thayer's

> office today for my one

> week check to get my stitches out. I've lost 13

> pounds, yahooooo!!!

> I can't believe how well I feel, and how much

> energy I have. Dr.

> Thayer says I can start exercising as long as it

> doesn't involve tummy

> muscles, so I will be doing the treadmill at the

> gym.

> Thanks for asking about me.

> Hugz from NH

> diane h.

>

=====

*hugs

Pam or *wickedbob* ...:)

Open RNY 6/26/00

Dr. Brams

Lahey in Burlington,MA

236/190/125 (I hope)...:)

46 pounds GONE FOREVER!!

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

dawn, I am trying to email you but it won't go thru...re-send you address.....

thanks

\cheryl

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do

what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children.

[Guest guest]

huggybuggy@...

Re: dawn

dawn, I am trying to email you but it won't go thru...re-send you

address.....

thanks

\cheryl

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do

what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children.

[Guest guest]

I can see it more in pictures than in person!

Dawn

Dawn

I was just looking at you pictures. WOW what a change!!!! Pam

________________________________________________________________

YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET!

Juno now offers FREE Internet Access!

Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit:

http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.

[Guest guest]

I might like it...watch it babe!

Re: Post op life changes

>

>

> Don,

> I know what you mean. A few times I have called these people on a

> few

> of there coments, and I get, OH I didn't mean it like that, or you

> take

> things way to personal now. Somehow it's thrown back at me. So

> then I

> think is it just me or are they just covering up for themself?? I

> don't

> know?? But I am calling people on what they say now, not all the

> time

> but I am some times. I do find I am less trusting of anything most

> people say to me if fear they want me to let my gard down just to

> hit me

> with an insult. I know I sound really wishy washy but I'm just

> trying to

> figure out what is behind what some (friends?) are saying to me.

> Does

> that sound right to you?? Pam

>

> On Tue, 10 Oct 2000 14:41:04 EDT Dondj@... writes:

> > Pam,

> > You described just how I feel perfectly. When I said to

> Russ

> > that I

> > don't take crap anymore I don't think I explained clearly. What I

> > meant is

> > that if somebody says something insulting to me, then I either

> give

> > it back

> > to them or treat them with contempt. I really appreciate the

> people

> > that were

> > there for me but I refuse to deal with pinheads like your friends

> > who still

> > make snide remarks. Thank you

> >

> > Don

> >

> > -------------------------- eGroups Sponsor

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Dawn-OK, now you're really showing your blondness! LOL! The Woodstock 60's

Lovefest was Woodstock, NY. This is a different Woodstock. Are you sure you

haven't been smoking pot? Maybe you should start! LOL! Just kidding, I

know we are much too young for hippie stuff. Now, if you're talking the

Brady Bunch and The Patridge Family-that was my era. Seriously though,

Woodstock was beautiful. You should go there sometime. I think I'll be able

to make the meeting Wed. but I'll just make it by 6:30. I'll wear a nametag

and look for a bunch of crazy people wearing vampire teeth!

Steph

[Guest guest]

oops! Pothead I'm not, blonde, well...umm, ok...maybe a bit! Hope to

see you Wednesday!!!!

Dawn

PS>..I LOVE THE BRADY'S! Mom always said, " Don't play ball in the house! "

Re: Dawn

Dawn-OK, now you're really showing your blondness! LOL! The Woodstock 60's

Lovefest was Woodstock, NY. This is a different Woodstock. Are you sure

you

haven't been smoking pot? Maybe you should start! LOL! Just kidding, I

know we are much too young for hippie stuff. Now, if you're talking the

Brady Bunch and The Patridge Family-that was my era. Seriously though,

Woodstock was beautiful. You should go there sometime. I think I'll be

able

to make the meeting Wed. but I'll just make it by 6:30. I'll wear a nametag

and look for a bunch of crazy people wearing vampire teeth!

Steph

[Guest guest]

Hey Dawn-I was unable to make the LMH meeting because I had to go for a dress

fitting for a wedding I'm in (my cousin's in MD) on November 4th. The woman

called me at work today and told me to come in tonight. I had to go because

she only has 2 more weeks till I leave for the wedding and there were alot of

alterations to be done. Anyway, I was so bummed at the way my body looks in

the dress. I have huge arms, way out of proportion to the rest of my body.

I really think I will need plastic surgery on them when I'm done. The boobs

are much lower than they should be. I'm just not a pretty sight. I was so

depressed I went to Walgreens and bought a box of those Whopper malted milk

balls. I ate half the box before I got disgusted and threw the rest away. I

cannot seem to focus on the positive (down about 65 lbs since June 9th), just

that I have to lose about 65 more and then I think I'll need a ton of plastic

surgery. I'm so mad at myself that I went back to the sugar cause I was

upset. Like that will really help. Anyway, I am really sorry I didn't get

to the meeting. Do you ever go the NWH meeting? I am going to make sure I'm

at the next LMH meeting. Enough about me, how about you? Was the meeting

good? Did you wear your teeth? Are you feeling better? Well, I'm going to

go to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow. This pity party has now ended!

Take care!

Steph

[Guest guest]

G'morning Steph,

First of all, don't get discouraged with your appearance. I try my best to

think of it as just a bit of excess skin hanging around for " future

reference " . We have come a LONG way in losing weight, and if we get too

discouraged with the excess things hanging around, non-perky boobs, etc.,

that will be our new " problem " . Trust me, I'm not happy with my looks at

all, but I've NEVER had perky breasts, solid arms, legs, belly etc., just

BIG. Now they are getting smaller, and may need a bit of help later, but

I'll have to cross that bridge when and if it comes.

I just got fitted for my undergarments for my wedding last week, and trust

me, I was horrified, although I now realize that when I'm home getting

dressed etc., I don't " look " at my body, I just get dressed. I was focusing

just like you on a " look " , and what we see isn't what we sometimes expect,

HOWEVER, we have done amazing in achieving one of the utmost goals in life,

that being losing WEIGHT, not SKIN. We have stretched our bodies out to

it's maximum throughout the years, and it's not going to head back to what

it used to be way back when. After all, it took us this long to stretch it,

what's a bit more time in getting to fall into place?

Don't worry about the Milk Balls, we all have those days, and we try our

hardest to overcome those " food/mind " challenges every day of our lives, and

once in a while we will hit rock bottom and do what we're used to....that of

eating food. Remember, having this surgery is a tool to help control our

eating portions etc., but the mind's the LAST thing to go!

The meeting was mostly a blur to me, to make a long story short, I had to

leave due to feeling like passing out of which I did, and was brought to the

ER per Dr. Randall, assisted by my fiancé, Annie, and Norma. Long story,

not getting into it right now, will post more about that later.

Hang in there sweetie, and if you ever want to chat, feel free to e-mail me

privately! Do you have AOL IM? If so, send me your address!

Hugs!

Dawn

Re: Dawn

Hey Dawn-I was unable to make the LMH meeting because I had to go for a

dress

fitting for a wedding I'm in (my cousin's in MD) on November 4th. The woman

called me at work today and told me to come in tonight. I had to go because

she only has 2 more weeks till I leave for the wedding and there were alot

of

alterations to be done. Anyway, I was so bummed at the way my body looks in

the dress. I have huge arms, way out of proportion to the rest of my body.

I really think I will need plastic surgery on them when I'm done. The boobs

are much lower than they should be. I'm just not a pretty sight. I was so

depressed I went to Walgreens and bought a box of those Whopper malted milk

balls. I ate half the box before I got disgusted and threw the rest away.

I

cannot seem to focus on the positive (down about 65 lbs since June 9th),

just

that I have to lose about 65 more and then I think I'll need a ton of

plastic

surgery. I'm so mad at myself that I went back to the sugar cause I was

upset. Like that will really help. Anyway, I am really sorry I didn't get

to the meeting. Do you ever go the NWH meeting? I am going to make sure

I'm

at the next LMH meeting. Enough about me, how about you? Was the meeting

good? Did you wear your teeth? Are you feeling better? Well, I'm going to

go to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow. This pity party has now

ended!

Take care!

Steph

[Guest guest]

Oh my God, Dawn. I can't believe you passed out during the meeting. I hope

you're OK. Thanks for the positive response. I had a pretty good day eating

wise and went to the Y tonight so I'm getting back on track. I do have AOL

IM, but I always forget to sign on when I'm online. I'm bsnwavegirl. Take

it easy, get some rest and feel better!

Hugs,

Steph

[Guest guest]

Thanks honey..I wasn't actually IN the meeting, I stepped out for a bit!

Hey...IF you ever remember to go on AOL...IM me sometime! WEEBLWOB

Dawn

Re: Dawn

Oh my God, Dawn. I can't believe you passed out during the meeting. I hope

you're OK. Thanks for the positive response. I had a pretty good day

eating

wise and went to the Y tonight so I'm getting back on track. I do have AOL

IM, but I always forget to sign on when I'm online. I'm bsnwavegirl. Take

it easy, get some rest and feel better!

Hugs,

Steph

[Guest guest]

I'd comment, but I think said it all, bravo , you have a great

attitude!!

Kathy

[Guest guest]

Cinderella is in the eye of the beholder. You have found your prince charming

and have kicked those wicked sisters(food) in the butt.

Happy day to you.

Kim

[Guest guest]

I can be whoever anyone wants me to be, although, even if I try, I sure as

hell can't be Cinderella!

I am ME, whoever that is!

Dawn

Dawn

Dawn,

I used the word " Cinderella " in my email to you. When I use that

word,

I mean it in a really good special way. You are THE person, THE bride,

THE special one along with Ralph on that day. It is a compliment.

Unfortunately, my previous email containing the word hasn't shown up

yet.

Hope it does. Sally