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Karin

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Hi Karin

We can all feel for you and totally understand.

Today I visited a friend at her house who has just had her second baby her

first is younger than my first.

Charlotte my daughter whilst I was holding her baby said " Ah baby " and

stroked his hair. I tell you that really got to me. I have been dreading

the day that she takes notice of babies and I think that that time is here.

That really choked me and I had to hold back the tears. It didn't upset me

when she brought her newborn into where I work just the fact that Charlotte

reacted the way she did.

So we are all with you on this one and totally understand and that is why we

are all here for each other and can fully understand when you say that you

feel " robbed " .

-

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...
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You're on! Today is Day 14 of Premarin for me and I start the Provera

on the 31st. That means I'll finish all meds on the evening of the

9th and be awaiting a BBP shortly thereafter, perhaps around the 13th

or so?!

Here's wishing us both bloody starts to August!!! ;)

Gwen

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  • 2 months later...

Gwen,

Thanks for the encouraging words. I was lucky that when I had my HSG

and Hyst it was only the cervix that was scarred shut this last

time. According to Dr. Cohen my uterus looked beautiful during the

hyst. When I get home today I will do one more HPT because the last

one I did was last week at CD28 and if I am actually following a

cycle like last month which was 40 days, today is CD40 of this

cycle. I VERY HIGHLY doubt it will be +, I mean I did see that pink

discharge after all, but figure let me check before I call him. I

have been incredibly tired these past two weeks but I honestly

believe that is atrributed to the events of two weeks ago, I only

work 10 blocks from " ground zero " so all the residual things and

feelings associated with it are kicking in. I will let you know

tomorrow if I see a + or - on the HPT, and than call Dr. Cohen,

either way LOL.

I just have to say Gwen, you always make me smile! Thanks.

PS - I am really starting to think about calling up some of my

friends who have seen + HPT and asking them if I can see what one

really looks like! LOL

Karin

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Karin,

I will be interested to see what you find out on your stick today. You know that fatigue is one of the symptoms I have when I get pregnant, some women get it and others don't. The fact that you had a faint pink discharge means nothing because this is also very normal for pregnancy and maybe indicative of something else too. Spotting sometimes happens when the embryo implants or when you were normally scheduled to start a period. Neither one of these symptoms can be attributed to 100% pregnancy, because as you know, these symptoms can be for other reasons too. Anyway, let us know what you find out. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

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Well I hope the pink discharge was some nice implanation spotting! It

could be!! Really! The timing would be about right! I will be

looking forward to your post with HPT results...and by the way, I

kept my positive HPT from when we conceived Hannah in 1996....it's

pretty yellowed but I have it if you want to come over and see it!

Just a quick plane flight to Chicago!! :)

I'll be waiting for your post!

Gwen

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Hi Karin,

I am so sorry you had bad news from Dr. Cohen. But, don't give up hope yet. Many of us has had such bad news and still have been successful. What i don't understand is that you had 3 months of flow and then it stopped. How did you have 3 months of flow if you had no lining? Or were these flows really light so this is why Dr. Cohen feels that you may be not regenerating a good lining?

I would ask Dr. Cohen to place you on very high doses of estrogen, either patches or injections. He may say that it doesn't matter, but tell him that you would prefer it. He will give in if you push him a bit. You want to see if your lining will improve with a higher concentration of estrogen in your blood. Some of the women in this group have had better results with injectables and patches vs. pills. So, I would try this before giving up hope. Also, IVF will not help if your lining doesn't get to a certain point. BUT, the FSH they put you on with IVF gives you enormous levels of estrogen....way higher then oral pills can ever give you, so it could help your lining just enough to get pregnant. So you're husband may be right about IVF. Many of us in this group have now gotten pregnant with thin linings. Take me for instnace, without IVF I would not be pregnant irrespective of my egg problems. The IVF was the only way my poor lining could get beefed up enough to get pregnant.

Also, your age kind of concerns me. I know that you want your own biological child, so did I and I am older than you, so you may want to think about seeing an RE at the same time as Dr. Cohen. You may want to discuss ways of beefing your lining up with an RE and dabble with the idea of freezing some embryos irrespective of whether or not your uterus shapes up. Surrogacy is not for everyone, but I found it to be an evolutionary process. You have to really think about it, research it and have discussions with surrogates and agencies before you give up up on the idea. I was against it until I had conversations with actual surrogates. They were so unbelievably wonderful. So very maturnal and they really wanted to help less fortunate couples out with something that comes so easy to them. Many of them are nurses and are very nutritionally responsible. I felt so much closeness to them that it alleviated my fears of surrogacy. In fact, I ended up looking forward to one of them carrying my baby. What a 180 change from where I started.

Now, why do I say to freeze embryos until you figure out what to do? Because if it ends up that you do indeed decide to use a surrogate in a few years, you will have embryos. Can you imagine if at the age of 43 you finally decide that you will use a surrogate and then you can't get any embryos? Or, if your uterus does shape up later, then you will have spare embryos. Most importantly.... having frozen embryos gives you time. Just in case time goes along and your fertility drops. This is what Terri has done with her frozen embryos. Now, she has time to figure out what to do, fix her uterus or find a surrogate. Unlike me who has such bad eggs that I couldn't freeze embryos if i wanted to. If you think this is a good idea....then do it soon, because the older you get, the worse the yields are for frozen embryos. I wish I had frozen embryos from when i was 35. Oh well.

Try to keep your head up. It's too soon to give up. I hope that all this is moot and you get a nice 8 mm lining with a triple line in a few weeks. But, hey I got pregnant with 6 mm lining and no triple with IVF, so it can happen. And some other women have had thinner linings then that. I will be praying that you have success this month. But, do try some heavier doses of estrogen first. Okay? Good luck.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Thanks for your kind message Karin. I am doing okay, like you this is

but one of the very stressful things that are going on in my life

right now...work is a mess, my family members are in the middle of a

feud over the care of my ailing grandmother and have put me in the

middle, my other grandmother is hospitalized, one of my very best

friend's has just announced he is moving away, my other best friend's

husband just lost his job and she is stressed-out and worried and

leaning on me for support at a time when I feel like I have so little

to give....it's all just too much sometimes isn't it? Especially

when you add to it the world situation with Anthrax scares and

bombing and terrorist threats....

We'll make it through all of this, both of us, I promise. SOMETHING

has got to improve for us in SOME aspect of our lives soon, it just

has to!

Hang in there...

Gwen

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Wow Gwen, like you said, when it rains it pours. I know what you

mean about being there to support other folks when you have so little

in you, but I think we do manage to find a way, and when it is a good

friend, I think deep down they understand (I hope).

Recently I find myself saying this llittle prayer ALL day long...

God grant me the serentity

To accect the things I can not change

To change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

I know it sounds hookey, but when you need to let go of something it

does help.

I just have to thank you and everyone else here for being the loving,

giving individuals that you all are. Without this place I swear I

would be loko, LOL. You hang in there too!

Love,

Karin

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Gwen, You are so right about you guys being due a break! I had no idea that

all of this stuff was going on in your life, and yet you always sound so

positive to all of us hear on e-mails.

Sorry to hear that your grandmother is ill, and all of those things that

aren't going well. The anthrax and the whole economy deal does suck. We

found last week that the processing plant my father works at in St. Louis

will be closing in December. My father is the controller at that plant, so

he can keep his position until December 31st, then that's it, so they are

freaking out right now, too. Things with jobs, manufacturing,and positions

are really volatile, especially here in the Midwest. I think we're all due

some good breaks, some good karma.

I did speak with Dr. Valle's staff today, theyt are moving my appt to this

Friday at 9:00am! So after all of my freaking out, it turns out I get in a

week earlier. If it's okay with you and Farooq, can will keep our dinner

date on Friday, November 2nd anyway? Just let me know. My parents are

visiting this weekend for 4 days and are driving up to see us on Friday, in

the afternoon. So Nick and I will probably drive up and back to Chicago in

the same day.

Gwen, I'm thinking about you today, and Karin, Penni, Janet; this is a

dreary week, I'm sure. Just know that you will get through this time, and

next year you'll look back and think how did I ever survive that?

Carol Anne

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