Re:anxiety and abandonment issues

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry and sad for you that you haven't gotten any validation for the

abuse you suffered as a child - as for your father - well my personal opinion is

that he probably isn't helping your healing -maybe some distance from him would

be helpful? I've found in my own experience that the more I have been desperate

for that acknowledgment and validation and apologies that NEVER come - the more

fragile, anxious, paranoid, and out of control I feel. Every attempt to make my

nada say " I'm sorry " left me feeling like I was spinning out of control and

reliving all of the emotional abuse and going through scenerios in my mind of

what she should be saying as a mother. I finally had to go nc and realize that

she will never give me what I need - she will never say what I need to hear -

she will never be a real mother. Your foo who deny your abuse are hurting you

over and over again by not validating what happened to you and your cousin. Your

dad probably is

hurting you the most! I respect your decision to not take medications but I

will tell you that zoloft is inexpensive and really helped me with my

hypersensitivity to situations and other people - my paranoa - and my obsessive

thoughts about all the injustices of my childhood. It might be worth a try -

even though everyone reacts differently to medication. Congratulations on

nursing school and I would continue bugging your therapist - that's her job and

should be her passion if she's worth anythg - if not, she wasn't the right

therapist anyway!

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