Frustrated

July 1, 2002

Dawn. the answer is yes, i understand completely. i don't have the

control that some others have; i feel sorry for me a lot; i want burgers,

fries, ice cream, or whatever. i wish to be normal, and i hate testing. i

don't want this or need this on my platter. tough. it's there.

i hate to go against so many others, but maybe you need right now, some meds.

i was depressed (still am) and am on serzone. i hate being dependent on a

med to keep me from going nuts, but i ran out and went without 2 days, and i

was crying again. i'm not sure whether it's the loss of my mom; or my loss

of normalcy.

i want to go brew pubbing again; i want burgers; i want to go to functions

and be able to eat what's there; and i want to toss the stupid machine away

and stop testing and getting upset when i forget, or when i do test, the

numbers are screwey. and when i try and the numbers are off, i think " well,

@* & #, and then i do something nasty.

the good thing is that it seems to get better. and there are tons of people

here that are there to listen, preach a little, but share their thoughts and

experiences. wendy is a great inspiration to me. she's got other health

problems, but has an incredible outlook and determination. i also have a

super friend that has diabetes. she's an oreo fanatic, and she's about to

have eye surgery from the effects of diabetes, which she's has since a child

and is coping well, but goes off on occasion.

feel free to vent. that's what the list is for. and i'm the queen of

venting. pat

> ks for letting me vent, I don't think

> that non-diabetics would or could understand.....Hope everyone is

>

July 1, 2002

> <<that is my fear, that is

> my hell.....I made an appointment to see a psychologist because I feel

> so depressed, my 5 year relationship is also suffering because of this.

> I am just plain miserable!!!! I see my endo for the first time this

> month, maybe that will help....Thanks for letting me vent, I don't think

> that non-diabetics would or could understand.....Hope everyone is

> staying cool!>>

>

I haven't felt this way about diabetes, but I once did about my other

illnesses! I remember being sooo scared I was going to die after giving birth

to my daughter. In fact, I did clinically die, but the doc pulled me through

with 12 blood transfusions.

I was angry that I had lupus and scared that I would not be able to bring up

my daughter. I read lots of books about coping, chronic diseases, miracles

and I went to a shrink. I still go through the classic stages of grieving

from time to time, but it has all gotten easier.

I hope things get easier for you, too ;-) It takes time and patience,

education and faith. Hang in there. It is good to get your thoughts and fears

out there. That helps me to get rid of the bad stuff ;-)

Something else that really helped me was to keep a gratitude diary. It helps

you realize that no matter what your problems are, the world is a wonderous

place full of great things ;-)

(wsm311@...)

Peace and Carrots Farm

Vermont

http://www.homestead.com/peaceandcarrots/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/VermontHomesteaders/join

July 1, 2002

is this Oprah's idea? i wondered if it really worked. pat

>

> Something else that really helped me was to keep a gratitude diary. It

> helps

> you realize that no matter what your problems are, the world is a wonderous

July 1, 2002

Thanks, , you're an inspiration.

And I want to say to Dawn...I felt that way on diagnosis too...I think we all

do. It's hard to get used to the idea of having a chronic disease. We want

things to be the way they were Before. But that will never be. Wishing

won't make it so, either, alas.

Most chronic illnesses we have no control over. But diabetes isn't one of

them. We CAN control diabetes. If we don't...the Bad Stuff happens. If

we're careful... it won't.

Five years post diagnosis I guess I've incorporated diabetes into my daily

life and it really doesn't bother me any more. And it's such a kick to get a

good A1C!

You can get there too, Dawn.

Take care.

Vicki

In a message dated 07/01/2002 8:33:04 PM US Mountain Standard Time,

wsm311@... writes:

> Something else that really helped me was to keep a gratitude diary. It helps

>

> you realize that no matter what your problems are, the world is a wonderous

>

> place full of great things ;-)

>

July 2, 2002

> is this Oprah's idea? i wondered if it really worked. pat

>

> >

> > Something else that really helped me was to keep a gratitude diary. It

> > helps

> > you realize that no matter what your problems are, the world is a

> wondrous

I found my books through some book club I was part of. One is called " Simple

Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy " by Ban Breathnach. For each

day of the year, there is an inspirational, uplifting story. The other book

is " The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude " . It has spaces to write down

what you are grateful for. The snippet for July is ....Remember that not to

be happy is not to be grateful.---

(wsm311@...)

Peace and Carrots Farm

Vermont

http://www.homestead.com/peaceandcarrots/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/VermontHomesteaders/join

July 2, 2002

Dawn,

I think we all feel that way on occasions. I bounced a meter off a wall one

day with a yell that brought my family running. I was so sick of poking and

testing and logging and measuring and being so damn careful and STILL I

wasn't where I thought I should be!!! I would think it would be that way

with anyone who has a chronic disease... You're not alone. At least one

other person has felt the way you do (and I'm sure I will again).

Rita

" Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just. "

-- Jefferson

Frustrated

<> Has anyone here just been so sick of the word " Diabetes " ? I want to rip

my hair out....I am

sick to death of worrying about my legs, eyes, and heart....Not to mention

what the long term effects of Glucophage might do to my liver....My partner

bought cherries today, and I want to just sit and eat the whole bag. But I

can't or who knows what damage I will be doing....I must sound really

pathetic, and that's how I feel...Like my life is forever changed, like I am

somehow not like others......Dammit, I want to not be this way...The other

day I wanted a big fat greasy

burger so badly, but all I could do was worry that the bread would reek

havoc with my BG level... I didn't buy the burger, instead I had a Keto

shake... I saw a TV show today about paramedics, and this one woman had her

leg amputated because of poor control, and that is my fear, that is

my hell.....I made an appointment to see a psychologist because I feel so

depressed, my 5 year relationship is also suffering because of this. I am

just plain miserable!!!! I see my endo for the first time this month, maybe

that will help....Thanks for letting me vent, I don't think

that non-diabetics would or could understand.....Hope everyone is staying

cool!

Dawn T2 Glucophage & Diet

July 2, 2002

Oh, I'm right with you! I've only been dealing with this a couple of weeks (if

you don't count my gestational diabetes) and I am sick of having to think so

hard about what I eat. What I want is a big plate of cheese fries! Or tortilla

chips and spinach dip. Yum! I just want to eat and not have to worry about

what it will do to my BG. My grandmother had diabetes and did not control it

very well, and I watched her have amputation after amputation and several

strokes. My desire to avoid complications is stronger than my desire for the

cheese fries, thank goodness.

I understand your frustration, Dawn, and feel free to vent here anytime.

Kim

Kimmee@...

July 2, 2002

thanks. i'm going shopping tomorrow (i need to work on myself for a day to

get myself going--i was NOT born to shop) and i think i will check this out.

we have a little bookstore in my tiny town, but they don't have very much

stuff. i think maybe some little inspirational book to read in that 1/2

hour between meds and breakfast would be good.

i slept very late again today, so getting ready for breakfast now (it's

lunch). gonna work some and try to talk myself into riding that bike.

thanks, wendy. pat

>

> I found my books through some book club I was part of. One is called

> " Simple

> Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy " by Ban Breathnach. For each

>

July 2, 2002

I'm right there with all of you on the frustration. I've started

rewarding myself with a massage, to get out of the old habit of thinking

of special food as a reward. Now I look forward to my massage and use

that as a way to get myself to stick to my healthier way of eating.

Anne

July 8, 2002

HI Dawn:

how is the little red head doing (VBG)

wish diabetic was my only problem.

anne

---------------------------------

November 7, 2007

Sometimes I feel like in contacting a pulmonologist's nurse, one is

venturing into a huge black hole. I don't even know what messages get

through. I know the pulmonolgists are overworked, but its our lives

and all the other patients are not our issue. I guess I'm joining

your venting for lack of any other way to help you. Although, makes

me tempted to want to drive down there right now and walk in and find

your doctor. All I can say is you've been patient with three calls

and one email in ten days. Now I'd make them frequent enough to drive

them crazy. I'd call and email at least once a day. Squeaky wheel

theory. While you don't want them angry at you, maybe annoyed enough

to do what they are suppose to is good.

Do you know the name of the doctor he's calling?

>

> Hi, Gang-

> I'm frustrated as usual at the state of communications with my tx

> center. I was at the doctor a week ago Monday, who said he'd

> call the doc in LA for me. The nurse felt like he'd call me at home

> to verify once he's made the call. I've called my nurse three times

> (including today) and e-mailed my doc once, and have gotten no

> results yet. My hands are basically tied in terms of preparing for

> a temporary move to California until I get an appointment, and that

> won't happen until after the call. Since I got worse this past

visit,

> and

> can definitely feel it, I'm more anxious than usual. I'm not

sleeping

> as well lately, although I take plenty of meds for that. I'll bet

if it

> were the doctor's wife in my predicament, this would get done a

> lot quicker.

>

> All this has made it even harder for me to focus than usual, to

> the point that it's sometimes too stressful for me to wade through

> some of the complete posts. I need the board, so I realize that's

> kind of a contradiction in terms, but there are more frequent and

> lengthy posts the past few weeks than ever before since I got on

> board, and there's SO much else that I'm trying to accomplish at

> the moment that's vital to my health. I'm expecting my friend

> from Georgia here tomorrow for a few days, & we can do internet

> researches on getting her a job in LA. I won't be able to chat

Thurs.

> night.

>

> I just wanted you guys to know that I think about you a lot, love

you

> and pray for you as always, but I simply don't have the time or the

> concentration right now to be very involved in either reading or

> posting. It's not for lack of caring, goodness knows. It's just due

to

> an extra large plateful at the moment.

>

> Leanne, Happy Anniversary - you have blessed our lives with your

> life.

> Jane, Happiest of Birthdays to you! I'd listen to you sing anytime.

{-O

>

> Hugs to all and blessings,

> Gwynne IPF 7/04 listed for transplant 3/07 Texas

>

November 7, 2007