Re: Need Your Help/Input/Prayers

[Guest guest]

Robyn,

I'll tell you really truthfully that I'm having alot of the same

problems right now. I've been bulimic for over 13 years, and I've

been drawn to normal eating/intuitive eating for weight loss

purposes. It's hard to have weight loss and overcoming an eating

disorder as goals at the same time, because they usually result in

totally different things, which I am most definitely finding out.

I'm really learning that I have to be patient with myself and focus

on the recovery from the eating disorder first, and slowly put in

some of the details from IE along with it, then further down the

road, I can incorporate more of IE.

I hope this helps. You can email me or IM me anytime, okay?

love, Deanna

>

> Okay, I'm mainly a lurker here, but I am in true need at this

point.

> I can't seem to eat intuitively. I get up and say, " okay, today

I'll

> follow true hunger. " And I start to do everything " right " but by

> dinner time, I'm ready to completely binge...and I'm not overly

hungry.

>

> I'm frustrated b/c when I think about the times I've been able to

EI I

> was soooooooo busy that I didn't even have time to eat. Cheese and

> crackers were a meal b/c it was all I had time for...plus I don't

like

> to cook.

>

> Then I got married and " have " to cook for the husband. Well since

> then I've not been able to EI. I went through a period of

depression

> about 5 years ago where I became anorexic (sp) and stopped eating

as a

> means of control. When I was properly medicated the anorexic

behavior

> stopped. Since then, I haven't been able to EI. What did I screw

> up?

>

> I just need some help here. And I'll be perfectly honest...right

now,

> I want to EI mainly b/c I want to lose about 35+ lbs. I DON'T want

to

> diet b/c I KNOW that doesn't work. EI is the only thing that's

helped

> me before. I just can't seem to overcome my own mind/desires.

>

> Any thoughts or help...please send it my way!!! Thanks.

>

> Robyn

>

[Guest guest]

Robyn and Deanna- It is so great to hear of other people who have had other types of eating disorders, like myself, and turned to IE for help. I was watching Oprah yesterday about women who had gastric bypass, I don't know if any of you saw it, and they all turned from either having a food addiction- to some other sort of addiction such as alcoholism or even one I think was a sex addict. Oprah made so much sense when she said they were just trading one addiction for the other to fill up some sort of hole. That's what it is- like we are all trying to patch up some old wound or something. The fact that food tastes good doesn't exactly help. Now, I am not sure what exactly I am trying to fill up in my life, but I have been trying to figure that out. Oprah said that the women thought gastric bypass surgery would help and be a quick fix, but they could ahve bypassed the whole surgery if they would have figured out what in life they were trying

to fulfill. I guess when I was bulimic I was trying to fill up some hole in my past or present, and now that I ahce recovered from that, I am still trying to fill up something. I dont know if that is true for any of you, but ti makes so much sense. I have been reflecting each day,trying to figure myself out, and see what exactly I am trying to fulfill. I am young- 20 years old, so I am still figuring out who I am as a person. It goes far beyond that though, I just need to figure out what I am trying to fill with food- and hopefully try and mend it. So, I wish you all luck on your journey. -kelleyDeanna wrote: Robyn,I'll tell you really truthfully that I'm having alot of the same problems right now. I've been bulimic for over 13 years, and I've been drawn to normal eating/intuitive eating for weight loss purposes. It's hard to have weight loss and overcoming an eating disorder as goals at the same time, because they usually result in totally different things, which I am most definitely finding out.I'm really learning that I have to be patient with myself and focus on the recovery from the eating disorder first, and slowly put in some of the details from IE along with it, then further down the road, I can incorporate more of IE.I hope this helps. You can email me or IM me anytime, okay?love, Deanna>> Okay, I'm mainly a lurker here, but I am in true need at this point. > I can't seem to eat intuitively. I get up and say, "okay, today I'll > follow true hunger." And I start to do everything "right" but by > dinner time, I'm ready to completely binge...and I'm not overly hungry.> > I'm frustrated b/c when I think about the times I've been able to EI I > was soooooooo busy that I didn't even have time to eat. Cheese and > crackers were a meal b/c it was all I had time for...plus I don't like > to cook.> > Then I got married and "have" to cook for the husband. Well since > then I've not been able to EI. I went through a period of depression > about 5 years ago where I became anorexic (sp)

and stopped eating as a > means of control. When I was properly medicated the anorexic behavior > stopped. Since then, I haven't been able to EI. What did I screw > up? > > I just need some help here. And I'll be perfectly honest...right now, > I want to EI mainly b/c I want to lose about 35+ lbs. I DON'T want to > diet b/c I KNOW that doesn't work. EI is the only thing that's helped > me before. I just can't seem to overcome my own mind/desires.> > Any thoughts or help...please send it my way!!! Thanks.> > Robyn>

[Guest guest]

Robyn and Deanna- It is so great to hear of other people who have had other types of eating disorders, like myself, and turned to IE for help. I was watching Oprah yesterday about women who had gastric bypass, I don't know if any of you saw it, and they all turned from either having a food addiction- to some other sort of addiction such as alcoholism or even one I think was a sex addict. Oprah made so much sense when she said they were just trading one addiction for the other to fill up some sort of hole. That's what it is- like we are all trying to patch up some old wound or something. The fact that food tastes good doesn't exactly help. Now, I am not sure what exactly I am trying to fill up in my life, but I have been trying to figure that out. Oprah said that the women thought gastric bypass surgery would help and be a quick fix, but they could ahve bypassed the whole surgery if they would have figured out what in life they were trying

to fulfill. I guess when I was bulimic I was trying to fill up some hole in my past or present, and now that I ahce recovered from that, I am still trying to fill up something. I dont know if that is true for any of you, but ti makes so much sense. I have been reflecting each day,trying to figure myself out, and see what exactly I am trying to fulfill. I am young- 20 years old, so I am still figuring out who I am as a person. It goes far beyond that though, I just need to figure out what I am trying to fill with food- and hopefully try and mend it. So, I wish you all luck on your journey. -kelleyDeanna wrote: Robyn,I'll tell you really truthfully that I'm having alot of the same problems right now. I've been bulimic for over 13 years, and I've been drawn to normal eating/intuitive eating for weight loss purposes. It's hard to have weight loss and overcoming an eating disorder as goals at the same time, because they usually result in totally different things, which I am most definitely finding out.I'm really learning that I have to be patient with myself and focus on the recovery from the eating disorder first, and slowly put in some of the details from IE along with it, then further down the road, I can incorporate more of IE.I hope this helps. You can email me or IM me anytime, okay?love, Deanna>> Okay, I'm mainly a lurker here, but I am in true need at this point. > I can't seem to eat intuitively. I get up and say, "okay, today I'll > follow true hunger." And I start to do everything "right" but by > dinner time, I'm ready to completely binge...and I'm not overly hungry.> > I'm frustrated b/c when I think about the times I've been able to EI I > was soooooooo busy that I didn't even have time to eat. Cheese and > crackers were a meal b/c it was all I had time for...plus I don't like > to cook.> > Then I got married and "have" to cook for the husband. Well since > then I've not been able to EI. I went through a period of depression > about 5 years ago where I became anorexic (sp)

and stopped eating as a > means of control. When I was properly medicated the anorexic behavior > stopped. Since then, I haven't been able to EI. What did I screw > up? > > I just need some help here. And I'll be perfectly honest...right now, > I want to EI mainly b/c I want to lose about 35+ lbs. I DON'T want to > diet b/c I KNOW that doesn't work. EI is the only thing that's helped > me before. I just can't seem to overcome my own mind/desires.> > Any thoughts or help...please send it my way!!! Thanks.> > Robyn>

[Guest guest]

I think perhaps it's not totally that you're trying to " fill a hole " in your

life, though it probably depends on the person. I know for me, food was

definitely a way to soothe and comfort myself from the time I was very

small. I wasn't overweight as a kid but I remember very clearly sneaking

lumps of brown sugar out of the container when our housekeeper/nanny was

upstairs with my mother (who was dying of breast cancer). I was four years

old.

Food always held an important place in my life growing up and I was never

very good about eating it all when I could get it. I'm the kid who ate all

of my halloween candy on halloween night (not that we went to many houses,

so it probably totaled 10 pieces), and later as a teenager would buy and eat

an entire bag of Hershey's miniatures. I felt sick afterward, but did it

anyway. Food was an important part of holiday celebrations at our house and

we often had foods that we didn't have at any other time of the year -- so

if you didn't eat it then, you waited another year!

We also weren't allowed to eat between meals. I remember coming home as a

teen and being starving after school. My brothers and I would sneak into the

kitchen and gorge ourselves on bread because it was the only thing my mom

wouldn't notice missing.

Anyway, I still even now have to fight the urge to " eat it while I can " and

food is the first coping tool I turn to when I'm anxious or trying to

procrastinate.

>

> It is so great to hear of other people who have had other types of

>eating disorders, like myself, and turned to IE for help. I was watching

>Oprah yesterday about women who had gastric bypass, I don't know if any of

>you saw it, and they all turned from either having a food addiction- to

>some other sort of addiction such as alcoholism or even one I think was a

>sex addict. Oprah made so much sense when she said they were just trading

>one addiction for the other to fill up some sort of hole. That's what it

>is- like we are all trying to patch up some old wound or something. The

>fact that food tastes good doesn't exactly help. Now, I am not sure what

>exactly I am trying to fill up in my life,

_________________________________________________________________

Stay in touch with old friends and meet new ones with Windows Live Spaces

http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?href=http://spaces.\

live.com/spacesapi.aspx?wx_action=create & wx_url=/friends.aspx & mkt=en-us

[Guest guest]

I think perhaps it's not totally that you're trying to " fill a hole " in your

life, though it probably depends on the person. I know for me, food was

definitely a way to soothe and comfort myself from the time I was very

small. I wasn't overweight as a kid but I remember very clearly sneaking

lumps of brown sugar out of the container when our housekeeper/nanny was

upstairs with my mother (who was dying of breast cancer). I was four years

old.

Food always held an important place in my life growing up and I was never

very good about eating it all when I could get it. I'm the kid who ate all

of my halloween candy on halloween night (not that we went to many houses,

so it probably totaled 10 pieces), and later as a teenager would buy and eat

an entire bag of Hershey's miniatures. I felt sick afterward, but did it

anyway. Food was an important part of holiday celebrations at our house and

we often had foods that we didn't have at any other time of the year -- so

if you didn't eat it then, you waited another year!

We also weren't allowed to eat between meals. I remember coming home as a

teen and being starving after school. My brothers and I would sneak into the

kitchen and gorge ourselves on bread because it was the only thing my mom

wouldn't notice missing.

Anyway, I still even now have to fight the urge to " eat it while I can " and

food is the first coping tool I turn to when I'm anxious or trying to

procrastinate.

>

> It is so great to hear of other people who have had other types of

>eating disorders, like myself, and turned to IE for help. I was watching

>Oprah yesterday about women who had gastric bypass, I don't know if any of

>you saw it, and they all turned from either having a food addiction- to

>some other sort of addiction such as alcoholism or even one I think was a

>sex addict. Oprah made so much sense when she said they were just trading

>one addiction for the other to fill up some sort of hole. That's what it

>is- like we are all trying to patch up some old wound or something. The

>fact that food tastes good doesn't exactly help. Now, I am not sure what

>exactly I am trying to fill up in my life,

_________________________________________________________________

Stay in touch with old friends and meet new ones with Windows Live Spaces

http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwsp0070000001msn/direct/01/?href=http://spaces.\

live.com/spacesapi.aspx?wx_action=create & wx_url=/friends.aspx & mkt=en-us

[Guest guest]

I think the thing is that you have to be able to live with the desire to

binge -- not to " white knuckle " it, but just to notice, " Hmmm...I really

want to binge..why is that? What do I really need if not food? Am I bored?

Upset? Mad? Have I been wanting to eat a Pop Tart but have been telling

myself I " shouldn't " eat it? " . If you can't figure it out, that's okay too.

BUT you are the only person who can stop yourself from bingeing. You have to

either find something else to do, be willing to just stop and sit down and

relax and think about why you want to eat when you aren't hungry, or

recognize that eating without hunger is just something you feel the need to

do and at least sit down, eat it slowly, and enjoy it.

>

>Okay, I'm mainly a lurker here, but I am in true need at this point.

>I can't seem to eat intuitively. I get up and say, " okay, today I'll

>follow true hunger. " And I start to do everything " right " but by

>dinner time, I'm ready to completely binge...and I'm not overly hungry.

_________________________________________________________________

All-in-one security and maintenance for your PC. Get a free 90-day trial!

http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwlo0050000002msn/direct/01/?href=http://www.win\

dowsonecare.com/?sc_cid=msn_hotmail

[Guest guest]

I think the thing is that you have to be able to live with the desire to

binge -- not to " white knuckle " it, but just to notice, " Hmmm...I really

want to binge..why is that? What do I really need if not food? Am I bored?

Upset? Mad? Have I been wanting to eat a Pop Tart but have been telling

myself I " shouldn't " eat it? " . If you can't figure it out, that's okay too.

BUT you are the only person who can stop yourself from bingeing. You have to

either find something else to do, be willing to just stop and sit down and

relax and think about why you want to eat when you aren't hungry, or

recognize that eating without hunger is just something you feel the need to

do and at least sit down, eat it slowly, and enjoy it.

>

>Okay, I'm mainly a lurker here, but I am in true need at this point.

>I can't seem to eat intuitively. I get up and say, " okay, today I'll

>follow true hunger. " And I start to do everything " right " but by

>dinner time, I'm ready to completely binge...and I'm not overly hungry.

_________________________________________________________________

All-in-one security and maintenance for your PC. Get a free 90-day trial!

http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwlo0050000002msn/direct/01/?href=http://www.win\

dowsonecare.com/?sc_cid=msn_hotmail

[Guest guest]

That is basically what I meant- to figure out waht the problem is. Some it may be a hole, some it may not. Like I said, I dont really have wound or hole from my past, but so why do I do it? I dont know yet, and that is what I am trying to figure out." E." wrote: I think the thing is that you have to be able to live with the desire to binge -- not to "white knuckle" it, but just to notice, "Hmmm...I really want to binge..why is that? What do I really need if not food? Am I bored?

Upset? Mad? Have I been wanting to eat a Pop Tart but have been telling myself I "shouldn't" eat it?". If you can't figure it out, that's okay too. BUT you are the only person who can stop yourself from bingeing. You have to either find something else to do, be willing to just stop and sit down and relax and think about why you want to eat when you aren't hungry, or recognize that eating without hunger is just something you feel the need to do and at least sit down, eat it slowly, and enjoy it. >From: "Robyn Wells" <mrswells77verizon (DOT) net>>Okay, I'm mainly a lurker here, but I am in true need at this point.>I can't seem to eat intuitively. I get up and say, "okay, today I'll>follow true hunger." And I start to do everything "right" but by>dinner time, I'm ready to completely binge...and I'm not overly

hungry.__________________________________________________________All-in-one security and maintenance for your PC. Get a free 90-day trial! http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwlo0050000002msn/direct/01/?href=http://www.windowsonecare.com/?sc_cid=msn_hotmail

[Guest guest]

That is basically what I meant- to figure out waht the problem is. Some it may be a hole, some it may not. Like I said, I dont really have wound or hole from my past, but so why do I do it? I dont know yet, and that is what I am trying to figure out." E." wrote: I think the thing is that you have to be able to live with the desire to binge -- not to "white knuckle" it, but just to notice, "Hmmm...I really want to binge..why is that? What do I really need if not food? Am I bored?

Upset? Mad? Have I been wanting to eat a Pop Tart but have been telling myself I "shouldn't" eat it?". If you can't figure it out, that's okay too. BUT you are the only person who can stop yourself from bingeing. You have to either find something else to do, be willing to just stop and sit down and relax and think about why you want to eat when you aren't hungry, or recognize that eating without hunger is just something you feel the need to do and at least sit down, eat it slowly, and enjoy it. >From: "Robyn Wells" <mrswells77verizon (DOT) net>>Okay, I'm mainly a lurker here, but I am in true need at this point.>I can't seem to eat intuitively. I get up and say, "okay, today I'll>follow true hunger." And I start to do everything "right" but by>dinner time, I'm ready to completely binge...and I'm not overly

hungry.__________________________________________________________All-in-one security and maintenance for your PC. Get a free 90-day trial! http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwlo0050000002msn/direct/01/?href=http://www.windowsonecare.com/?sc_cid=msn_hotmail

[Guest guest]

When I was going to therapy, my therapist suggested that perhaps it doesn't

matter one single solitary bit WHY you do it. Figuring out why you do it

probably won't stop you from doing it. I know why I do it, but I still do

it. She told me that the main thing is not to do it! That sounds simplistic,

but it's totally true when I think about it. I am the person making the

choice to eat rather than dealing with my boredom, anger, lonliness, or

desire to put off doing chores. Hence, I am the only person who can make the

choice to just live with my feelings and not eat.

>

>>That is basically what I meant- to figure out waht the problem is. Some it

>>may be a hole, some it may not. Like I said, I dont really have wound or

>>hole from my past, but so why do I do it? I dont know yet, and that is

>>what I am trying to figure out.

_________________________________________________________________

Try Search Survival Kits: Fix up your home and better handle your cash with

Live Search!

http://imagine-windowslive.com/search/kits/default.aspx?kit=improve & locale=en-US\

& source=hmtagline

[Guest guest]

I also believe that the process of analysis can be invaluable. I

have been re-reading Geneen Roth who among others offers many

excercises for learning about physical vs. emotional hunger.

I am finding the understanding of why helps me be for compassionate,

and caring with myself-even though I can still choose to eat. Each

eating experience is an journey into learning more about myself-even

if ESPECIALLY if I binge. A binge seems to be a no hold barr

attempt from my little girl to not be denided basic necessities.

I am also struggling that believing this process will actually cause

the weight loss that I seek. I am definitely loosing weight, but it

is not like in the past. I am also seeing the binge/deprivation in

all areas of my life spending/sleep/sex etc. It seems that as I try

to work a little on these areas along with the food and having a

since of internal balance something positive is definitely happening

inside of me.

>

> When I was going to therapy, my therapist suggested that perhaps

it doesn't

> matter one single solitary bit WHY you do it. Figuring out why you

do it

> probably won't stop you from doing it. I know why I do it, but I

still do

> it. She told me that the main thing is not to do it! That sounds

simplistic,

> but it's totally true when I think about it. I am the person

making the

> choice to eat rather than dealing with my boredom, anger,

lonliness, or

> desire to put off doing chores. Hence, I am the only person who

can make the

> choice to just live with my feelings and not eat.

>

>

> >

> >>That is basically what I meant- to figure out waht the problem

is. Some it

> >>may be a hole, some it may not. Like I said, I dont really have

wound or

> >>hole from my past, but so why do I do it? I dont know yet, and

that is

> >>what I am trying to figure out.

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Try Search Survival Kits: Fix up your home and better handle your

cash with

> Live Search!

> http://imagine-windowslive.com/search/kits/default.aspx?

kit=improve & locale=en-US & source=hmtagline

>