A Little Humor to keep us Going on these tough days?

[Guest guest]

Believe it or not, these are real 911 Calls!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house

on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and

cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table,

and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before, and I'm sick and tired of

it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven

on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven .

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn.

...I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and .

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble

breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes

apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

" WE WILL WIN "

Love Ya'll

" NEVER FIGHT FAIR "

Carole & Bob

Panama City, FL 32404

Please visit the International Stills Disease Foundation Inc. Web Site at:

http://www.stillsdisease.org/. Please make Tax Deductible DONATIONS to the

all volunteer, International Stills Disease Foundation Inc., 1123 S. Kimbrel

Ave., Panama City, FL 32404.

There is now a third political party (of the people): The " VPA " , Veterans Party

Of America. Veterans = " Third Class Citizens " .

[Guest guest]

Dear Bob

Thanks for a good laugh - where would we be without our sense of humour eh

!!!!!

Hope you are well today

All the best

Joan U.K

_____

From: Stillsdisease [mailto:Stillsdisease ]

On Behalf Of Bob (Old Goat) Himes

Sent: 12 September 2006 21:30

To: Stillsdisease

Subject: A Little Humor to keep us Going on these tough

days?

Believe it or not, these are real 911 Calls!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house

on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and

cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table,

and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before, and I'm sick and tired of

it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven

on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven .

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn.

...I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and .

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble

breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes

apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

" WE WILL WIN "

Love Ya'll

" NEVER FIGHT FAIR "

Carole & Bob

Panama City, FL 32404

Please visit the International Stills Disease Foundation Inc. Web Site at:

http://www.stillsdi <http://www.stillsdisease.org/> sease.org/. Please make

Tax Deductible DONATIONS to the

all volunteer, International Stills Disease Foundation Inc., 1123 S. Kimbrel

Ave., Panama City, FL 32404.

There is now a third political party (of the people): The " VPA " , Veterans

Party Of America. Veterans = " Third Class Citizens " .