A Dog Puts God on the Spot..

April 8, 2006

Something to Make You Smile:-) With Much Love, Nachi

Dear God: why do humans smell the flowers but seldom, if ever, smell

one another?

Dear God: when we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch or is it

still the same old story?

Dear God: why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the

mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit - but not ONE named

for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love

a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the " Chrysler Eagle " the

" Chrysler Beagle " ?

Dear God: if a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human

hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: we dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand

signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,

electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do

humans understand?

Dear God: more meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: it's hard being a good dog all the time. Let me give you a

list of some of the things I must remember:

1. I will not eat the cat's food before she eats it or after she

throws it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because

I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on " leftovers " in the kitty litter box, although

they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a " face towel " .

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of

saying " hello " .

9. I must shake the rain out of my fur before entering the house -

not after.

10. I will not throw up in the car.

11. I must not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

12. I cannot sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch

when we have company.

Dear God: why do humans only have 10 commandments and dogs have 12?

PS Dear God: when I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

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