Article - A Personal Story of OCD

August 14, 2010

I found this blog/article from 1997, a " personal story of OCD " and thought

others may like it. Severe case but overcome.

Here's the first 3 paragraphs and then a link to the story:

My Battle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

It was August first. I had been in bed for three months. I was paralyzed -- not

physically, but with a fear so great that every waking moment was spent dreading

the next ...and waking moments were all there seemed to be. If I slept at all,

it was for maybe fifteen minutes a night. If I ate at all, it was one can of

soup a day, provided the nervousness I felt didn't cause me to reject all food

completely. I had lost thirty pounds. I had not taken a shower in weeks. I cried

constantly. I wanted to die. I had never known such great pain in my life. Yet,

I was told by every doctor who examined me that there was absolutely nothing

wrong ... at least not physically. I was convinced that I must have some type of

sleep disorder that was causing all this. I thought that if I could only get to

a therapist who knew about sleep disorders, he could give me some medication and

I would be all right.

Of course, I couldn't get out of bed...it was, after all, August first -- and

that date had a one in it. One was a " bad " number and if I did anything on the

first, I was convinced it would not only end with disastrous consequences, but,

most likely death...not only death, but an eternity in hell! Of course, I

couldn't get out of bed on August second, either. The second was only one number

away from one, so that wouldn't be acceptable. The third was just as bad! It was

one week away from the tenth and ten had a one in it. The fourth was impossible.

It was one week from the eleventh and that had two ones in it! Apparently, I

just wasn't meant to ever get out of bed again.

There were exceptions. I felt I was " allowed " to get out of bed to go through

the garbage dumpster for hours on end at my apartment complex to make sure I

hadn't thrown anything important away. I was allowed to get up and check every

wall in my apartment to make sure I hadn't written obscene and inappropriate

comments there. I was allowed to go downstairs and watch religious programs on

television (but only religious programs ... anything else would offend God.) I

could get up to touch every doorknob five times and turn off every light switch

three times. I could also get up and check my body in the mirror to make sure I

hadn't written vulgar comments on myself with indelible ink. Oh, yes, I was

" allowed " to get up and do those important things...I just couldn't do little

non-essential things like eat, sleep, go to work, be with friends or get

therapy!

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