A New Conversation About Dreams

[Guest guest]

A New Conversation About Dreams by Marcia Wieder

Who is Directing Your Life?

While aspects of you encourage, " Go for your dreams, " simultaneously

other parts threaten, " Don't you dare. " A cast of characters lives

inside of you and at different times you may receive conflicting or

contradictory messages. If you are want to be happy, successful, and

fulfilled, consider putting your " dreamer " in the director's chair.

What are the voices inside of you saying? As you turn the volume up

on the voice of your dreamer and down on the voice of your doubter,

you can practice discernment allowing for greater clarity. To assist

you in hearing these voices, let's set up a simple scenario. Picture

something you want, something that matters to you. Choose a personal

or professional dream and consider how these various parts of you

might respond.

Dreamer – The dreamer inside says, " What if " and is open to a

creative process without over-analyzing it. This is the part of you

that imagines, believes in possibilities, has hope, and seeks

kindred spirits. Dreamers talk about their ideas with intention,

clarity, and passion. Great dreamers get others excited about their

vision. And most importantly, successful dreamers take action to

make their dreams a reality.

Doubter – This voice is often heard saying such things as, " I don't

think this is a good idea. " The doubter provides concern

touting, " But what if " and imagines the worst. If you crank the

volume up it can even become annihilating with accusations shouting

things like, " Are you out of your mind? " Shakespeare

said, " Our doubts are traitors. " Castaneda said, " In order to

experience the magic of life, you must banish the doubt. " My

favorite quote on this subject is in The Prophet where Kahlil Gibran

wrote, " Doubt is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin

brother. "

Realist – " Be realistic " Modulate the doubter down a notch or two

and it becomes the essential voice of the realist. This part wants

to know, " What's the plan? " including where is the time and money

coming from. However, in the early phase of dreaming, you may not

know. The challenge is not to allow the realist to immediately turn

into a doubter who might judge or obliterate your idea. Honor this

voice by (to the best of your ability) giving it the information it

needs. If you ignore or reject it, it will cleverly agitate or

distract you. Being realistic offers prudence and makes you do your

homework but if you are overly realistic or go to strategy too soon,

you will most likely compromise the dream and kill your passion.

Visionary – This voice says, " Anything is possible so let's dream

big! " These are the leaders and people we look up to and admire.

They have learned the process of realizing their dreams and embody

what it means to be a big dreamer. Setbacks or failures do not stop

them. Simply put, a visionary has a vision and invites others to

join them. They are found in all walks of life and we are often so

inspired when they are in the presence of a true visionary that we

sign up just to be near them or part of what they're doing.

A visionary is not defined by the size of the dream since dreams are

precious and come in all sizes, shapes and areas of life. If you

were living your dream life, how would it be different? What do you

see yourself doing? How many lives would you touch? What would you

change? Who would you help if you were truly living as a visionary?

Avoid Sabotaging Your Dream

When these different voices merge they can become muddled and result

in confusion and poor decisions. For example, you might poison your

dream by projecting doubt into it. Then with each step you take

toward what you want, you also move toward your doubt. Doubt and

fear, which most of us may have at some time or another (especially

when embarking on a new or big dream) do not belong in your dream.

These feelings are simply part of your reality. This is a subtle and

essential point.

Here's a simple technique for avoiding this sabotaging pattern. On a

piece of paper draw a line across the middle. On the top half write

out your dream with as much detail as possible. On the bottom write

out your reality in relationship to your dream, where you are now.

Reality usually includes good news and (so called) bad, as well as

any fear or doubt you may have. Just state the facts and your

feelings about them.

Now, which one are you more committed to; your dream or your

reality? We tend to choose " reality " when we don't have a clearly

defined dream or when we saturate our dream with doubt. If your

dream is loaded with your worst imagined nightmares, reality will

always seem safer and saner. But doubt placed appropriately as part

of your reality, allows two things to happen. First, no longer blown

out of proportion, it's an obstacle that basically requires a

strategy to manage it. But more importantly, with doubt where it

rightfully belongs, you are free to move forward.

It's like a play. All the characters have wisdom and insight, but

you can't clearly understand them when they're speaking at once.

Take time to tune in, to listen, and on a regular basis, have the

courage to give your dreamer its directorial debut or even the

leading role.

About this Contributor: Marcia Wieder, America's Dream Coach, is a

best-selling author and speaker.