[Fwd: Fw: Ever wonder who writes the instructions?]

[Guest guest]

Ever wonder who writes the instructions?

>

>>>> > hope this makes you smile......

>

>>>> > EVER WONDER where we are headed...

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why you don't ever see the headline " Psychic Wins Lottery " ?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why " abbreviated " is such a long word?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why doctors call what they do " practice " ?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why you have to click on " Start " to stop Windows 98?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing

>>>>liquid is made with real lemons?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...who tastes dog food when it has a " new & improved " flavour?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for

>>>>the indestructible black box ?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of

>>>>progress?

>>>> >

>>>> > ...why they call the airport " the terminal " if flying is so safe?

>>>> >

>>>> > AND...

>>>> >

>>>> > In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because

>>>>of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

>>>> >

>>>> > On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the

>>>>only time I have to work on my hair).

>>>> >

>>>> > On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.

>>>>Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

>>>> >

>>>> > On a bar of Palmolive soap: " Directions: Use like regular soap. " (and

>>>>that would be how???....)

>>>> >

>>>> > On some frozen dinners: " Serving suggestion: Defrost. " (but, it's

>>>> " just " a suggestion).

>>>> >

>>>> > On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): " Do not turn upside

>>>>down. " (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

>>>> >

>>>> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: " Product will be hot after

>>>> > heating. "

>>>>(...and you thought????...)

>>>> >

>>>> > On packaging for a K-Mart iron: " Do not iron clothes on body. " (but

>>>>wouldn't this save me more time?)

>>>> >

>>>> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: " Do not drive a car or operate

>>>>machinery after taking this medication. " (We could do a lot to reduce

>>>>the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those

>>>>5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

>>>> >

>>>> > On Nytol Sleep Aid: " Warning: May cause drowsiness. " (and...I'm

>>>> > taking

>>>>this because???....)

>>>> >

>>>> > On most brands of Christmas lights: " For indoor or outdoor use only. "

>>>>(as opposed to...what?)

>>>> >

>>>> > On a Japanese food processor: " Not to be used for the other use. "

>>>>(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

>>>> >

>>>> > On Nobby's peanuts: " Warning: contains nuts. " (talk about a news

>>>>flash!)

>>>> >

>>>> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts: " Instructions: Open packet,

>>>>eat nuts. " (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

>>>> >

>>>> > I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a

>>>>child's superman costume: " Wearing of this garment does not enable you

>>>>to fly. "

>>>> >

>>>> > On a Swedish chainsaw: " Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands

>>>>or genitals. "

>>>> > (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>

>>>>Group Insurance Administrator

>>>>Mercer Human Resource Consulting

>>>>Authorised Representative #307212

>>>>of Mercer Investment Nominees Limited AFS Licensee #235906 (MINL)

>>>>Darling Park Tower 3 Level 2, 201 Sussex Street Sydney NSW 2000

>>>>Australia

>>>>

>>>>Direct Phone: (02) 8864 6171

>>>>Fax: (02) 8915 1530

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> >

>>>

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