Re: Dear Abby:

[Guest guest]

Thanks Gail... this is exactly why I do not go back to the operating room with her because I know I would cry. I cry as soon as my back is to her in pre-op and know she doesn't need to see that. Patty, mom of Isabella, 2 years old, in 4th cast (Rochester) & mom to & EvanTo: Congenital

<CongenitalScoliosisSupport >; infantile_scoliosis Sent: Tue, February 2, 2010 10:35:31 AMSubject: Dear Abby:

I am posting this as a gentle reminder to all of us when we bring our children in for surgery, casting etc. WE (and this includes grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, etc) need to be the strong one until we leave the procedure room!

By Abigail Van Buren Abigail Van Buren – Tue Feb 2, 2:16 am ET

DEAR ABBY: I am writing this as a mother of four and an operating room nurse for 30 years. Once again, I had to pull a crying mother from her child so I could take the child into the operating room.

I understand that a child having surgery is upsetting and stressful. My own children have had to have surgical procedures done, so I know the feeling. But if I can help parents understand one thing, it would be that the child looks to the parent for support. If the mother is crying and clinging at the bedside, the message the child receives is: If Mom is that upset, something bad must be about to happen to me.

No one is implying that you do not love your child or you are not worried about him or her, but it does no one any good if you have to be peeled off your child. Please send your little one off with kisses and encouraging words, and the child will be a little less frightened. -- WISCONSIN R.N.

DEAR WISCONSIN R.N.: I'm printing your letter verbatim. As traumatic as sending a child into surgery can be for both parent and child, the words a child needs to hear are, "You'll be going to sleep, and when you wake up, Mommy will be right here. I love you. Now give me a kiss." For the child's sake, venting for stress relief should be saved for the waiting room.

Gail

"The Earth is the insane asylum for the rest of universe"

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.†-BumperSnickerz. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **Mom to , 11/28/98 - ADHD/ODD/SIDand , 02/02/02 - Congenital Scoliosis, VATER Association (vertebral and renal anomalies), Torticollis, Klippel Feil Syndrome, Fused Ribs, First VEPTR Recipient at Cincinnati Children's Hospital 3/21/05; Spitz Nevus removal: 11/26/07 & 2/11/08; VEPTR Expansions: 11/05, 04/20/06, 6/12/08 and 8/14/09 and EARLY SUMMER 2010;