Re: Playing catch-up/PCA story

August 29, 2006

I set up a camera and saw one of our workers steal $$ from a cabinet I keep it

in in the kitchen. We confronted her with the video and fired her immediately. I

also felt sick to my stomach over it. We have had help for over 15 years and

this was the only time I ever suspected anything or used a camera.

Brigid

Playing catch-up/PCA story

This is a copy of the email I just sent to my Fibromyalgia list so due to lack

of energy I'm crossposting it here to share our PCA story.

Sorry to have disappeared. dh has been gone all summer; he's home for a few

days while we go thru Ernesto, currently bearing down upon us. Still a tropical

storm but so many 100's of people never had their roofs fixed from Wilma last

Oct there are blue tarps and loose tiles all over the place. We are " hunkered

down " as the hurricane terminology goes and we'll probably (boy I hope not) lose

power. We actually thought the other day this was gonna head straight for her

beseiged neck of the woods but I guess those Louisianians (?) deserve a break.

They're expecting the worst between 8 and midnight tonite.

I worry mostly about losing AC and TV for . can't control her body

temp and doesn't ever sweat which can be very dangerous. We've been making

special foods for her for 2 days...what a factory! Meanwhile I reinjured my

stupid back while Jim was gone the last 2 trips, I've got some weird vaginal

bleeding going on and am due for an endo appt. next month to figure out what's

up with the weird pituitary labs. 's well, tho....happy and healthy.

We had a horrible experience this week with our PCA who's been caring for

jamie and helping us for 2 years. She's been like part of our family but for

some reason I had the idea to put a camera up to watch her during the mornings

when I am sleeping in. She has always been wonderful while someone is with her

but what I watched for 4 hours on the TV screen made me sick to my stomach. True

she didn't actually hurt physically but she totally absolutely ignored her

and didn't respond to any of her requests- didn't even look at her once!! She

didn't do any of the daily things we thought she was doing everyday for the past

2 years, didn't brush her teeth, help her wipe after pottying, brush her hair,

give her juice...didn't even check on her once! She sat on the couch for 2 hours

straight and watched TV. THen she spread 's toys out on the floor to make

it look like she had been playing with her as she is supposed to be doing. At

one point jamie yelled " NO " and slammed her arms on her desk in her room and our

trusted PCA's head didn't even move in reaction. She text messaged, ran around

and emptied the trash (which I only ask her to do when Jim is gone) right before

she knew I was coming out of the bedroom.

The worst (?) part was when I came out I asked her straight out if she had

brushed jamie's teeth, given her alot of juice, played with her etc. and she

lied so convincingly straight to my face. I even mentioned there were some file

folder games in the armoire she could have used and she said oh yeah I used a

couple of them (she didn't go anywhere near the armoire). Mostly besides the

fact that I now know I can absolutely not trust her to do her job unless I'm

watching her I felt so betrayed and horrible for . I felt like I was

looking down from heaven (big IF)after I died and watching how she would be

treated by people....like less than a human, unloved and ignored because she is

nonverbal and cannot tell anyone what is or is not going on. It was so sad.

dh and I had thoroughly made our minds up to fire her so we confronted her

yesterday morning and she started crying and begging for another chance and on

and on and apologizing; my stomach is so sick right now! DH is a sucker for

tears and because the storm was coming we had her stay yesterday and today

(under supervision) and make 's food. But now dh is going away again for 4

days over labor day and I've totally ruined my back so I don't know what to do.

There's no point having her here if I can't rest or sleep and I'll never be able

to sleep again knowing she's in the house. I seriously doubt she would screw up

again now that she knows she's on camera but she really gave me a pretty clear

idea of how she feels or doesn't feel about us and our dtr. She's 22 from Brazil

and cried and cried so much about how we are like her family and just ask

anyone--- she tells all her friends how much she loves us and jamie. I told her

I didn't give a sh** what she told her friends I care about what i saw with my

own eyes. She also constantly professes to be a super Christian going to church

often during the week. I gave her a little lecture on how you treat the least of

MY children etc....what is that verse anyway? someone help me.

She's making $19 an hour and lots of tips and presents and exta free hours

etc. Oh well thanks for listening to my tale of woe. I'll probably crosspost

this story to a couple other lists so those of you on the other lists...just

delete. What a slap in the face....I feel like such a FOOL!!!

wah wah wah same old stuff from me.

I'm reading you all as long as the power holds out. Take care everyone. 5:00

report says the storm is weakening YAY!!!!

Sherry, feeling incredibly stoooooopid.

August 29, 2006

Oh, dear. I'm so sorry for how bad you're feeling. You know, it is possible

that this woman was just having a bad day. Some days are like that. As a mother

of a 6 year old with DS and until recently a daycare provider to children and

adults with disabilities of varying degrees, I can tell you that some days I was

awesome, and some days I was tired and boring. You're never a fool to trust

someone, and it's possible that this one example was not typical. Even as my

daughter's mom, the one who loves her more than anyone else, more than life

itself, sometimes I am not up to what it takes to be good at it. There are

mornings we skip the toothbrush fight, or I forget the prescription dose.

Anyway, of course you're justified in your reaction, and I hope you stop beating

yourself up for needing and trusting someone.

Hugs,

brigid sullivan wrote:

I set up a camera and saw one of our workers steal $$ from a cabinet I

keep it in in the kitchen. We confronted her with the video and fired her

immediately. I also felt sick to my stomach over it. We have had help for over

15 years and this was the only time I ever suspected anything or used a camera.

Brigid

Playing catch-up/PCA story

This is a copy of the email I just sent to my Fibromyalgia list so due to lack

of energy I'm crossposting it here to share our PCA story.

Sorry to have disappeared. dh has been gone all summer; he's home for a few days

while we go thru Ernesto, currently bearing down upon us. Still a tropical storm

but so many 100's of people never had their roofs fixed from Wilma last Oct

there are blue tarps and loose tiles all over the place. We are " hunkered down "

as the hurricane terminology goes and we'll probably (boy I hope not) lose

power. We actually thought the other day this was gonna head straight for her

beseiged neck of the woods but I guess those Louisianians (?) deserve a break.

They're expecting the worst between 8 and midnight tonite.

I worry mostly about losing AC and TV for . can't control her body

temp and doesn't ever sweat which can be very dangerous. We've been making

special foods for her for 2 days...what a factory! Meanwhile I reinjured my

stupid back while Jim was gone the last 2 trips, I've got some weird vaginal

bleeding going on and am due for an endo appt. next month to figure out what's

up with the weird pituitary labs. 's well, tho....happy and healthy.

We had a horrible experience this week with our PCA who's been caring for jamie

and helping us for 2 years. She's been like part of our family but for some

reason I had the idea to put a camera up to watch her during the mornings when I

am sleeping in. She has always been wonderful while someone is with her but what

I watched for 4 hours on the TV screen made me sick to my stomach. True she

didn't actually hurt physically but she totally absolutely ignored her and

didn't respond to any of her requests- didn't even look at her once!! She didn't

do any of the daily things we thought she was doing everyday for the past 2

years, didn't brush her teeth, help her wipe after pottying, brush her hair,

give her juice...didn't even check on her once! She sat on the couch for 2 hours

straight and watched TV. THen she spread 's toys out on the floor to make

it look like she had been playing with her as she is supposed to be doing. At

one point jamie yelled " NO " and slammed

her arms on her desk in her room and our trusted PCA's head didn't even move in

reaction. She text messaged, ran around and emptied the trash (which I only ask

her to do when Jim is gone) right before she knew I was coming out of the

bedroom.